138.)

And here I was again, looking at the ceiling. It was starting to become ordinary. Routine. Just another diaper change. After soaking the last one, I needed a fresh diaper. And after I soaked this one, I'd need another. One diaper after another, over and over and over. Maybe Blossom would start buying thicker diapers, little by little, until I was in the thickest diapers on the market. Maybe she'd start adding those booster things, or she'd tape two on without me even noticing. Diapers were becoming so ordinary. So routine.

Well, maybe not that routine. When she urged me to lift my butt, I hesitated. I looked up at her, in her cute onesie, and bit my lip.

It's fine, Amanda. She's done it before.

So I put my feet on the mattress and lifted my butt. She slid my pants down, but she left the panties in place. They were my spare pair, a minty green and entirely uninteresting. But I liked that she kept them on for as long as she could. It made the next part a little easier, as she unfolded and fluffed out the diaper.

"You're doing so good, Amy, you're such a natural at this. I would say, even..."

Blossom slid the diaper underneath Amy's bottom and looked from one side, and then the other, to make sure she'd gotten it centered and in the right position when it came to front-back alignment.

"I would say you were made for diapers, honestly. Maybe I should just keep you in them all the time; I bet you'd be a lot less shy preeeettyyy quickly~"

Her words felt heavy in my head. Like a weighted blanket for my brain. Warm and cozy. A part of me agreed: if I just wore them all the time, I'd get over this feeling. But another part of me told me that I shouldn't get used to it, that I'm a grown up and I don't wear diapers!

Dichotomy. Choice paralysis. Agree with her? Argue? We weren't in a scene. We were supposed to just be having a nice night together watching a movie. I didn't even want to start a scene! But I wanted to be a brat. It felt like an ache, like needing to use the bathroom. Like a little klaxon in my brain, quiet and flashing. But I could ignore it. I had to ignore it for now. So I didn't say anything at all.

"There's my good little agreeable girl. I knew you were clever enough to know that Blossom knows what's best for you."

She wasn't sure how far to push the teasing, but she was having a lot of fun and she was honestly just hoping to see a little lip-biting or flushed response from Amy.

Was I supposed to be saying stuff too? Like, when I was dressing her? Did I say anything? I felt like I didn't say anything. I didn't tease her. But Blossom and I were different types of Little. Maybe I wasn't supposed to tease her like that?

But my worries were interrupted by Blossom tapping my thigh again, and saying "up".

I lifted up. I hated this part...

"There's a good girl, you're such a good girl for me, aren't you?"

Diapering Amy was a little more challenging than diapering herself, but Blossom also accepted that she'd put more diapers on herself and this was just going to be a matter of practice. And she also had no idea at what point in her life she'd accepted that she'd be comparing those two things.

No panties. I closed my legs tight, but I knew they couldn't stay that way. I stared very hard at a specific place on the ceiling, trying to think of anything else. But then I felt the diaper pull between my legs. I reached down and grabbed the waistband at the front. I had to adjust up on the bed every-so-slightly so the legbands were comfortable. And then my whole body relaxed into the mattress. No more nudity. Just Blossom taping me into a diaper.

I loved this part...

"There we go; now we gotta make sure to get some powder in there, remember? That's very important for little girls our age, isn't it? Plus it smells awesome~"

Girls our age. The word 'our' was so unfamiliar that it stood out. But it made sense. I mean, Blossom was in a diaper too, after all. So she opened up the bottle of baby powder, peeled back the diaper a little, and sprinkled more than enough between my legs. The smell quickly filled the room and I felt myself melt further into the sheets. It did smell awesome... it smelled like nostalgia and inevitability and the good kind of exhaustion.

There was definitely an ASMR element to diapering someone; the little sounds, and prompts, and cues. The sound of the tapes being peeled gently back and then fastened in place - it was enough to make Blossom shiver already, and she was here in the moment and not even trying to be all ASMR-y. Left bottom tape. Right bottom tape. Left top tape. Right top tape.

"That's much better than flimsy panties, isn't it, sugar?"

"No..."

The word came out automatically. My cheeks were pink and I still couldn't make eye contact with Blossom. The scent of baby powder was thick in the room and it dulled my inhibitions. My first instinct was to act like a brat, and for once my brain didn't work fast enough to stop myself.

"Sorry," I immediately corrected. "It's... nice..." Nice was the best word I could think of. My vocabulary felt smaller.

"It's okay to make a little fuss if that's what your heart wants, cupcake," Blossom reminded her, in that same fake-whisper that the puppies on television used.

"I... I don't wanna do a scene or anything," I tried to explain. With the diaper snug on my hips, the thick Megamax between my legs, I felt like it was easier to say stuff, but harder to say it effectively.

"It doesn't have to be a scene for you to be a little fussy; baby girls often need a bit of extra attention, don't we? It's okay. I promise it's okay, if you do, or if you don't."

I wasn't following. Wasn't fussing part of a scene? I mean, I wanted this. She asked me a question, and the true answer was: yes, diapers felt better than flimsy panties. So that's what I'm supposed to say, unless I'm pretending.

"I'm just trying to be me..." I tried explaining again.

"Hm..." Blossom paused at that. How was she supposed to quantify what someone was? To her, Amy's bratting was a part of her. So was it playing pretend when she acted that way?

"Hey, cupcake? Why do you like to fuss so much?"

"I dunno... I don't. It makes me uncomfortable."

"It makes you uncomfortable because you think you're causing trouble?"

"Mmhmm."

"Well... it doesn't cause trouble for me. And why would you want to do it if you didn't like it?"

"I dunno..."

Blossom was done with the diaper change, but she still had to get Amy in her onesie. But at that moment, she really was trying to understand Amy's point of view. Blossom didn't get much out of acting like a brat. She would do it if it was someone else's fantasy, but when she played it was often with curiosity or eagerness.

"You're not in any trouble, and you're not expected to fuss or to not fuss; I'm doing this with you because I want to do it with you, and you're not forcing me into it, or tricking me, or being burdensome. So you can be you, Amy. Sweet and compliant, fussy and needy, or anything in between."

Things were quiet for a moment. I wanted Blossom to finish changing me, but she sat on the bed next to me instead. I sulked.

"I dunno what's wrong with me," I finally admitted. "It's like my first instinct is to just... lie. To be mean and try to drive people away. I don't want to drive you away..."

"It's the hedgehog's dilemma. The simple version is that we have cautious behavior around relationships because, for this relationship to be happening, presumably others had to end. That usually means pain. So we harden up our quills, and we hope that the person likes us enough to endure the lil' spikey bits."

Blossom wasn't sure she got the whole thing explained out in any way that was accurate, but her metaphor worked here and that was enough.

"I'm not going to leave you, Amy. I love you. You can be bristly and spikey all you need to be, and I'll still be here."

"Or I could just stop lying all the time..." I sighed. The 'I love you' didn't go unnoticed, but it seemed so automatic, so natural. I wondered if she even noticed that those words had come out of her mouth again.

"The quills are still part of the hedgehog, cupcake. It doesn't do the hedgehog any good to pretend they aren't there."

"I guess..." So I was supposed to allow myself to be a jerk to constantly test everyone around me? Because that's who I am? I didn't feel any better.

"Why not talk to Stephanie about it?" Blossom asked. "She might have some ideas."

"Oh yeah, sure. Hi Stephanie. I really like it when Blossom puts me in diapers, but whenever she does it I want to tell her no. But I still want her to do it."

"That sounds like an excellent cold open for a session, right?"

And Blossom was pretty serious about that too, because she was a straight-to-the-point no-nonsense kind of girl.

"One day I'm going to convince you that you deserve all this affection, babydoll~"

I had no idea how I was supposed to bring any of this up with Stephanie, but I didn't have any better ideas. Every time I acted like a brat for no reason, it felt so manipulative. I didn't want to manipulate Blossom or anyone. I'd have to figure it out...

"Can I finish getting dressed now?" I asked, trying to get us back on track for our movie night.

"I can finish getting you dressed, yup!"

Blossom had picked out Amy's tarot card onesie, which meant that the two of them were going to be onesie-sisters tonight. She helped her crush sit up, and then stand, and took Amy's shirt by the lower hem.

"Arms up, baby girl."

Blossom took off my shirt with obvious expertise. I had my bra on, even though I didn't need it for anything in particular. I put it on after my shower out of habit. Blossom turned me around and unclipped the bra from the back and I slipped my arms through the straps. Before Blossom could spin me back around, I covered up my chest.

Now I was the one standing in front of her in only a diaper.

"You're going to get used to this, babes. You'll see." Blossom leaned past Amy to get the onesie off the bed and began to ball it up in her hands so she could pull it over Amy's head.

Blossom learned from my failures at dressing her. She pulled the onesie down over my head, though it got caught on my glasses once. Then she pulled my hands through the sleeves, which meant I was covering myself with one arm, then with no arms. It was only for five seconds, but my boobs were on display. They weren't big. They weren't sexy like Blossom's. They were so average, maybe even a little small for a girl my size. Unimpressive. But then the onesie was pulled down over them and a wave of relief washed over me.

She finished tugging down the onesie over Amy's body, and then she knelt down on the floor in front of her to start working on the snaps. She reached between the girls askew legs and grabbed the rear part of the onesie, and then snapped the first of the steps.

"You know, down here with your diaper at eye level, it really makes your gears turn. Minds are wild things~"

"You don't say," I muttered under my breath. Blossom snapped the onesie so much faster than I did, or at least it felt that way. And when she was done, it pulled up between my legs and held the thick diaper close to my skin. I bit my lip and smiled a little.

"And there we go! Two little baby dolls, all dressed up for a night of movies and cuddles. That wasn't so hard, right, cupcake?"

It took all of half an hour, and it felt like it took most of a day. The whole process was a huge roller coaster of emotions. But ultimately, Blossom was right. I changed her clothes. She put me in a diaper. Things were getting easier, albeit very slowly. Maybe one day it wouldn't be such a big deal to get dressed up like little girls. Wouldn't that be nice?