169.)

As it turns out, Becky wasn't even home. I got to meet a few other sorority girls, as well as re-meet some of the ones I met at the New Years party. Blossom introduced me as her partner, which was super weird. I guess a part of me still thought she would want to keep me a secret.

Eventually, we ended up in Blossom's room. It was divided in half, one side for work and one side for play. I had been in her room before, so it didn't really come as a shock. What did surprise me though, was the textbook on her bedside table and the big pink glow-lamp on her desk. Those two things were out of place. In the wrong spots.

"You know," Blossom said, sitting down on the edge of her bed, "I think humans suck sometimes. We form bonds and connections, but once we find a group to be a part of, we aren’t supposed to look outside those groups. It’s so tribalized. We’re still dealing with the same problems as Romeo and Juliet."

"Hm... I guess you're right." I sat down next to Blossom. Her bed was so unbelievably soft. Ever since I started going to the beach house, I hated my own mattress. Maybe I could spend some of my work money on a new one.

"But I think we're overcoming that," I added. "Like, boys can date boys now. And girls can date girls. Families like the Capulets and Montagues are a lot less common these days."

"But there's always ingroups and outgroups," Blossom countered.

"I think that's because people like to categorize. It's not enough for something to just exist; we need a way to communicate it. So we make a word with a definition, and then that definition has parameters. Like, uh. You wouldn't call a cat a dog. But they both have four legs and we keep them as pets."

"How very human. Creating differentiation for expression, and then using it to discriminate against that expression."

"Differentiation also gives a greater sense of belonging," I shrugged. "By being a part of something specific, we feel more individualized. Like, Littleness. People discriminate against that all the time. And yet, we don the title."

"In front of the right people," Blossom corrected.

"True, in front of the right people."

"Do you think you'd still be into Little stuff if it wasn't so taboo?" Blossom asked. "Like, if it was normal and everybody did it?"

"I mean, statistically. If everyone was doing it, I'd be doing it too."

"But would you be as into it as you are now?” Blossom asked. “Like, would it be a part of your identity?"

"Um... I don't know..." I had to think about it. Was Littleness a part of my identity? Yeah, for sure. Not in front of everyone, like Blossom said, but it was definitely a big component of who I was. Of my thoughts. Of my fantasies. Would that go away if it was normal? If everyone had those same fantasies?

"I think it would be less meaningful," I finally said. "I think smaller groups make for stronger identities. Like, a guy is a guy. But would he say that is a big part of who he is? Probably not. But a trans guy might. Because that group is smaller. And maybe the function of identity is to differentiate. If we want to feel special, or like we matter, we need to find a way of individualizing."

"Huh. I guess that makes sense. The broader the category, the more stable and comfortable it is, but the less it defines us. But narrow categories do define us, and they tend to be more limited in who we share them with. I'm a girl, I'm a tall girl, I'm a cheerleader, I'm a sorority sister, I'm an engineer; these are all pretty broad. But a tall engineer girl who was also a cheerleader? That's a smaller group within those bigger sets. Being Little is the same; I'm a tall engineer girl who was a cheerleader and is also Little."

Talking statistics and datasets was right within Blossom's wheelhouse, academically.

"It's like playing a game of Guess Who?,” I said. “We want someone to be able to ask the right questions and get to "us". And that's identity."

I didn't think about this all that much, but I did write about it. All the protagonists of Academy Works had something special about them, something that made them different to the others. It was also what made them so fun to write, and hopefully fun to read.

Blossom's phone buzzed with a text.

"Becky is going to meet us at the restaurant," she said. "We've got a few hours."

A few hours. Ugh. I was already anxious about this stupid dinner. The last thing I wanted was to wait around for it to happen!

"Let's go watch TV downstairs," Blossom said. "It'll distract you."

So we went downstairs. One of the other girls - one I just met today - was watching something, but she was also reading something on her phone.

"Mind if we take the TV?" Blossom asked.

"Oh, no worries."

Blossom's sorority house had every single streaming service imaginable. Blossom said that when you put enough people in one space, that's bound to happen. I took her word for it.

"Let's watch Bluey," Blossom suggested, since that was our go-to show at the moment.

"Uhh..." I looked at Blossom, then at the girl behind her on the couch. Kristin? Christine? I couldn't remember.

"It's fine," Blossom laughed. "It's a good show."

Well, it was Blossom's house. Kristin or Christine was her friend. These were her spheres, and she was playing billiards. I sunk into the couch and shrugged.

By the second episode, I noticed Kristin or Christine watching. By the third, she had set her phone down. By the fourth, another girl came in and started watching. By the fifth, someone new walked in, someone I hadn't met.

"Oh, I love this show!" she said excitedly. She kicked off her shoes and came into the living room.

"I've never seen it," another girl said, making room for the first girl on the sofa. "Seems cool, though."

"Amy and I watch it together," Blossom said.

"Uhhuh" is what I said, because I didn't want the spotlight on me at all. The whole hour was surreal. I guess I was a little out of touch with what people my age actually liked, because I thought Bluey was just a baby show ageplayers talked about on Twitter.

"It's a cricket bat,” Blossom explained to one of the other girls - Bronwyn - with a lot of authority for someone who had never once seen or played a game of cricket.

"We should play that one day. Maybe like, a sorority fundraiser?" Bronwyn pitched, and Blossom tilted her head in thought.

"I mean, it would be different from the usual swimsuit car wash thing. Swimsuit Cricket, maybe?" Blossom proposed.

Everyone laughed, except for me. I was still a little nervous, surrounded by a ton of people I didn't know. To make matters worse, we were doing something that I only really did when I was feeling Little. Maybe it wasn't the best choice of show. But it did run out the clock.

"Sorry, I gotta go," Blossom said. "C'mon Amy."

"Bye Amy!"

"Nice meeting you!"

"Nice meeting you too," I said, not bothering to correct the name thing. I didn't know those girls well enough yet, and I wanted them to like me. Blossom and I donned our snow clothes and started walking back to her car.

"How did that feel for you?” Blossom asked. “I want you to be able to feel comfortable at my place, and like you can just relax and be yourself. Was that okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I think so. It was just kind of weird..."

"Meeting everyone?" Blossom asked.

"Well, sure. But I expected that to be weird. I think the Bluey thing really surprised me, because I've never watched that show unless I was Little. And then suddenly all these people were around me..."

"Oh." Blossom blinked. She hadn't even thought of that.

"I think I get your spheres thing a little more now," I admitted. "It's hard, introducing stuff from one part of your life to the other. Like, me meeting your friends. And me watching a Little show with them."

"Yeah! Yeah yeah!" Blossom grinned, feeling vindicated in her own personal insanity. "I'm sorry for making you feel weird, cupcake; it didn't occur to me that you might have those feelings."

"Oh, no, it's fine." I handwaved, literally. "It helped me understand more about you, so I think that's a win."

"Well, next time we'll pick a different show," Blossom laughed. Of course, that implied there would be a next time Amy would be over her house, watching TV with the girls.