Sunday, October 30th

44.)

I wore a diaper to bed that night. Blossom didn't. I wrote a few paragraphs of Chapter Nine before bed, but I was surprisingly tired. I only slept five hours, but it was five hours of good sleep.

I made pancakes for breakfast. It wasn't exactly baking, so I wasn't great at it, but the boxed instructions were easy enough. I put blueberries in mine. I ran the dishwasher, cleaned up the house, and climbed into Blossom's car by two in the afternoon. We could have stayed later if Blossom didn't have a Sunday evening study group. The drive home was always a bit too long and a bit too quiet; I like to think Blossom didn't want to go home either.

"Oh, quick question," Blossom said rather spontaneously. "Do you want to come to a Halloween party tomorrow?"

"Uh..." Like, be seen with her in public? Like, have an actual conversation in front of people who knew us? I was so taken aback that I forgot to answer the question. "I thought you said... what about your spheres?"

"Right, right, I know."

Was it breaking her promise to Becky if Blossom asked Amanda and then backed out? Or gave her a reason to decline? Who was Blossom kidding; Amanda would never say yes anyway. Parties weren't her thing.

"But it's Halloween and that's kind of in both spheres, when you think about it."

"It sure isn't," I said. Maybe I should have been more suspicious, but it didn't matter anyway. I had plans with Lin and my mom. Even though it was a weird offer, I felt a little sad that I had to say no.

"I can't," I sighed. "I'm helping Lin take some pictures, and my mom likes doing movies on Halloween."

Good old reliable Amanda! Blossom put on a little pout and nodded her head slowly.

"That's a shame! We could have dressed up super cute together, something matching. Maybe next year! Hopefully?"

"Sure?" Yeah, she was being weird. We couldn't have dressed up together anyway - Halloween was tomorrow. And nothing would really be different next year. It was like she wanted me to say no.

"You know, you don't have to invite me to stuff to make me feel better," I said with a touch of annoyance in my voice. "I get that I'm like... your secret weekend rendezvous or whatever. You don't owe me anything."

Blossom had a few choices here. She could have saved face. She could have played the diplomat. She could have laughed it off. Honestly, any answer she gave here would probably lead to the same outcome: hurting Amanda's feelings.

So Blossom chose honesty. What did she have to lose?

"It was my best friend's idea. I talk about you sometimes, and I'm anxious about my spheres touching. And I promised her I'd invite you because... well, I wanted to shut her up. But I could have shut her up any other way, so I think I promised her I'd invite you because I was hoping you'd want to actually go. And then it wouldn't have been my choice if my spheres collided."

"So you wanted me to say yes?" I asked, a little surprised by her story. Not because I thought she was lying, but because it sounded almost true.

"Well, no," Blossom admitted. "I just didn't want to be responsible for it one way the other."

"Hm..." It was kind of rude to use me as a scapegoat like that. But honestly, I didn't want Blossom to be uncomfortable either. She didn't want me to mingle with her friends. I didn't really blame her. She risked more being my friend than I risked being hers. So I let this one go.

"Well, I should have known," I sighed playfully. "As a baby, it's in your nature to avoid responsibility."

Blossom honestly thought the "I should have known" would be followed by a "you're getting my hopes up" or "you'll always disappoint me". Honestly, the idea of disappointing Amy felt pretty crushing. It wasn't something Blossom was used to.

But the conclusion to the sentence was instead to tease her, and Blossom did a little double take before focusing back on the road.

"I'm not a baby, I'm more of a... big kid with potty troubles. Like in Academy A! You're more of an Academy I kinda girl though, for sure."

"Oh." Blossom never acted much like a baby, and her interest in diapers seemed more aesthetic than childish. Why did I call her that? "I think it's just so natural to refer to people in our community as 'babies', you know? Like on Twitter and stuff? But of course there's diaper lovers and Middles and... anyway, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have presumed." I actually felt a little sheepish about it.

"Oh no no, I actually really liked it," Blossom said. "The fact I'm not a baby actually makes it hotter when you tease me about it. If that makes sense? Kink is weird."

"I guess..." I played with my fingers in my lap and bit my lip. I felt really guilty, like I used the wrong pronouns or something. But I wanted to understand: I didn't want to make the same mistake.

"So, um... what are you? Like, what's... your... identity?" That was a weird way of phrasing that, but I couldn't think of a better word. Too bad my writing skills didn't translate into speaking skills.

"I'm not entirely sure," Blossom mused. "I guess when I touch myself over this stuff, I'm like... forced into diapers. Maybe I wet the bed, or maybe I'm being blackmailed. Usually I'm college age, sometimes high school but that's a whole different thing. But I'm kind of seething about it, and pouty, but can't do anything about it. Word choices like 'this is your life from now on' and shit really get me going though. But I don't know, like... Little? Middle? School Bully brought down a peg, maybe?"

"Hm..." I knew what she was talking about. Those same things were the things that turned me on too. But there was so much more to ageplay for me. "So what about baby bottles or pacifiers or playing with toys and stuff?"

"I think pacifiers are objectively attractive, but that might be unrelated because I first got super into them from the club scene. But... I mean, I don't know? I think I see myself bottle feeding you more than the other way around, but also like... my head in your lap, you bottle feeding me, talking about how awful I was to you in school and how you'll raise me right? That stuff? Liquid fire."

"Huh... okay... so if someone isn't making you do this stuff, it's not that interesting? Other than diapers, I guess?" She had already said she thought diapers were objectively sexy, but it sounded like all the other baby stuff wasn't in the same category.

"I think the involuntary aspect of it is pretty big, for sure. So maybe like... I fetishize diapers, but for the other stuff it has to kindle the submissive part of my brain for there to be interest. But it only needs a tiny spark to get it going. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I think so." So she wasn't very regressive at all, but being teased was okay. Wow, we really were different. After a moment of quiet, I thought of something else I wanted to say.

"Hey, uh... you mentioned your friend was pressuring you to do stuff? I don't want you to do anything you don't wanna do. So, if it helps, you can use me as an excuse whenever you want. Just tell me instead of trying to trick me. Sound good?"

"You know, my first instinct was to put on the charm and handwave it all away. It's hard for me to be honest when someone calls me out. But I'm glad that I did, Amy; you're just as sweet as cupcakes."

"Ha... thanks. It's really nothing." If anything, I was just balancing the scales. By providing a service, even something as passive as an excuse, I made myself a little more worth Blossom's time. I wanted to keep being worth her time.