131.)

The starting was always the most awkward part for Blossom, and she didn't know if that was a universal experience for people who liked to do sexy roleplays, or if it was just her. But it reminded her a lot of that moment of weightlessness she'd felt in high school before she took the field to do cheer; like the world was empty and echoing, and she could hear her own heartbeat.

Maybe that was just performance anxiety.

Blossom had gone upstairs a few moments earlier, having said that she would come downstairs in character. She started down the stairs and clucked her tongue, shaking her head at the girl in the living room.

"Amy, I am sure that's not what your Mommy and Daddy said you should be wearing, is it?"

"Amanda," I corrected. It was the first time in a long time that I corrected Blossom on my name, and she was still the only person who could get away with calling me Amy. But since this was a roleplay, it wasn't Blossom. And I technically wasn't me either. So I said again: "My name is Amanda, not Amy."

My demeanor was off. I was sitting on the couch, but I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I was going to fumble with the TV remote and try to put something on, but it felt dismissive of Blossom. Ugh, how was I supposed to act like a brat on command?! It was so hard!

"Mmm, I don't think that's true, Amy. Your Mommy calls you Amy and your Daddy calls you Amy and so while I'm your babysitter, that's what I'm going to call you. Besides, you're sick, and spelling is going to get a lot harder for you; so Amy is a better name, you'll see."

Blossom was pretty proud of herself, but then again she'd gotten off so many times to Academy T that she could recite half the story by rote if she needed to.

Oh yeah, I forgot about the sick thing. I felt a bit of heat on my cheeks and tried not to look too bothered by what Blossom was saying. She had walked from the stairs over to me and stood between me and the currently-turned-off-TV, like she was blocking my view. I sunk into the sofa a little and looked away from her.

"I'm not sick," I argued, but that wasn't quite in character. If I was in Academy T, then I was sick. Or I thought I was. I was losing things, like the ability to count or tie my shoes. Maybe I couldn't work door handles or figure out how to make myself food. I grounded myself in that reality and amended my statement.

"I mean, I'm not that sick... I'm not like other people in this dumb town... and they aren't my parents. They're just... weird people who keep treating me like a little girl."

There we go! Character voice established. Bratty soon-to-be-baby! It actually came a lot more naturally to me than the role I played as Blossom's supportive friend. That probably said a lot about me.

"Uhhuh, and if I had a pudding cup for every little girl who's said that before, then I'd have enough pudding to bribe a spellbook." Blossom put her hands on her hips, and stood up tall and straight, leveraging her impressive height and stature.

"Your Mommy and Daddy were pretty clear on what you're meant to wear, kiddo, and it's definitely not big girl clothes, is it?"

Kiddo. Blossom had never called me Kiddo before. It was awkward, but it also set the scene. It helped remove Blossom as Blossom and Me as Me. So I crossed my arms and huffed.

"I'm not a little girl. And I don't listen to them. And all that aside, I don't need a babysitter, so you can just go home!"

I meant to be loud and mean and rude about it, but it came out kind of whiny and pouty. Honestly, I felt a little scared to be loud or mean or rude. I knew it was a game, but...

"That's nice, sweetie. Come on, let's get you dressed properly, before you have a whoopsie on the sofa. I'm sure you don't want me telling your Daddy you were fussy, do you?"

Blossom was used to talking to pledges, and that tone worked well here.

I stared up at her with something between annoyance and embarrassment. The first half was an act, and the second half was me. I never really fantasized much about a Daddy, not that it hadn't crossed my mind. But hearing it from Blossom's lips was so unusual.

"No," I said firmly. Or, as firmly as I could. I shook my head and tried again, raising my voice.

"No!"

Oh hey, that was kind of loud! I was almost proud of myself, if it wasn't for the pangs of guilt in my chest reeling me in.

Blossom crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrow, smirking with bemusement.

"No, you don't want me to tell your Daddy you were fussy? Then you'd better come with me, Little Missy, and get changed."

"That's not what I meant," I said, crossing my arms over my chest too. "I'm not listening to some dumb woman who comes over here and thinks she's in charge of me. This whole town is stupid, and you're stupid!" I had more to say, but I hesitated on that one. I looked at Blossom nervously, gauging a reaction. My character wouldn't do that, but I was worried I pushed too much. But Blossom gave me a soft comforting smile and I felt a bit of the guilt ebb away. Okay... things were fine...

"That's pretty big words coming from a girl who can't remember how to tie her shoes, isn't it? That was your first thing to go, that's how you knew you were sick, right, Amy? Your Mommy told me all about you, and she said you were a little firecracker, too. But you don't faze me, poppet; I've babysat far brattier girls."

Was that permission? It sounded like permission. But the idea of not knowing how to tie my shoes... being "sick" like in Academy T? I felt a little warm.

"I... I said my name is Amanda. And you aren't babysitting me! And I'm not a brat! I'm standing up for myself."

Maybe because I was taking my words literally, or maybe because I was feeling small with Blossom towering over me, but I stumbled to my feet so that I was as tall as Blossom. Except that Blossom was significantly taller than me. It felt like a misstep.

"Oh, are we standing up now? What comes next, sweetheart? Balling up your lil' handsies? Stomping your lil' footsies? Maybe some lip quivering, hmm? Go on, get your tantrum out of your system now, so I can get you changed already."

Blossom had a justifiable air of confidence, like she was clicking idly through dialogue in a video game where she already knew the outcome.

"I'm not wearing diapers!" I said loudly, so loudly that I suddenly worried the neighbors would hear. But they didn't. I didn't even say it that loudly, but the living room was big and empty and had an echo. My cheeks were a little pink and I balled my hands at my sides. Honestly, I wasn't sure what Blossom's play was going to be here. Even if I had a tantrum, I still wasn't going to let her character boss me around. Right?

"That's right, cutie, you're not. And that's the problem here, because your Mommy and Daddy made it pretty clear to me that you belong in them, and based on what I'm seeing right now? I believe them, too. You're only getting sicker and sicker, and you never know what you might lose next. I babysat a girl who lost her ability to talk without a lisp one night, just like that."

She snapped her fingers for emphasis, and grinned as Amy jumped in a quiet start.

"I... that didn't really happen..." Had that happened in Academy T? No, I didn't think so. But speaking properly was totally something the Academy could take away from a Candy. I felt myself falter, both in and out of character, and tried to find my footing again. What came next in a story? A rant? Probably.

"This whole place is just... it's ridiculous! And you can't treat me like a little girl just because I can't tie my shoes! And I don't care what those people say, they aren't my parents, and I am not letting anybody dress me up like a baby! I don't need diapers or onesies or a pacifier or any of it! And you're not a babysitter - you're just a stupid bully who thinks she can boss me around! But you can't! I'm a grown up! I'm not listening to anything you say!"

At first it was an act. I wasn't angry. I wasn't embarrassed. This whole thing was a silly game I was playing with Blossom. But the more I thought about the Candies in Academy T, or any of the Candies at all... the way the staff treated them? The disregard for their autonomy? And Blossom's character trying to act like I wasn't an adult? It started to feel a lot more real. My voice got louder and my hands were balled at my sides and I felt red faced and genuinely frustrated! But Blossom's smile didn't fade. She kept looking at me with that assurance that would make any Candy throw a fit. And before I thought any better of it, I shoved her. Or, well... I pushed her and she stumbled half-a-step backward, but I felt a sharp pang of guilt. I shouldn't have done that. It was just a game; I shouldn't try to hurt Blossom. Not really. I didn't mean to hurt her, but...

It did absolutely catch Blossom off guard, but she had the balance of a spinning top, and her mind was deeply rooted in this scene, and in this character. She imagined Mia Moore writing her, and made all of her decisions based on that - the idea of being a living character in an Academy story was as hot as hell.

"Is that the best you have, sweetie? Is this your peak fussiness? At school, they'll teach you that you shouldn't shove people; I mean, what else can they teach you? You'll forget anything useful, so they have to stick with the basics. Now you keep your hands to yourself, because your Daddy did give me permission to spank you if you get out of hand."

Blossom played it so cool. She wasn't even upset. On the contrary, she taunted me again. I had to stop and think. I had to piece together everything that was happening, because I had a lot of out of character feelings and I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do next.

I stood there and looked at Blossom, then I looked down at my hands. She asked. She prompted. She kept pushing. I was okay, right? But as I pulled at my fingers, I felt Blossom's hand on mine.

"Green?" she asked. She was talking in a whisper, like talking in parentheses in an online roleplay.

I nodded. I was okay. She let go of my hand and I let them fall back to my sides. I wasn't angry anymore. I was worried.

"Green?" I asked back in a whisper, because I needed a moment to think. I needed to be sure she was okay too. That I wasn't ruining everything.

Blossom nodded in the affirmative, and flashed a pretty smile, too, before replying with the word "very". She waited after that, for Amy to take a few breaths, and then crossed her arms again to get back into her posture and pose.

"Is that all you have, Amy? Is that all the fuss and fluster you can muster? Your Mommy said you had a wicked temper and had some very wild tantrums, but I'm beginning to wonder now."

She was goading me. She wanted me to give this my all. I really cherished that commitment, that passion. I wanted to match it. And she said she was okay.

What was it that Stephanie said? Trust what Blossom says? Let the rules be fair...

So I nodded and balled my hands again. I had to get worked up, so I shoved her. This time, she didn't even move.

"She's not my Mommy," I said, trying to raise my voice. "And I don't have tantrums!"

"Oh? She's not your Mommy? She's not the loving woman who's going to take care of you, as you get sicker and sicker? Not the woman who's going to get you dressed when you forget how? The woman who'll give you baths when you can't remember which faucet is hot and which one is cold? Who'll feed you when you can't cook anymore? And change your diapers when you're helpless and wet or stinky? It sure sounds like a Mommy to me."

Although Blossom didn't have the chops to be a writer, she was a REALLY good studier, and she liked to think that she was doing a character in a Mia Moore story justice. But more than that, she was SO proud of how good Amy was doing with this, too!

My face got redder. Blossom's words were so embarrassing! That I'd let anyone treat me like that... that a Candy would ever give in so easily? But there was a sense of inevitability too, wasn't there? Amy - my character Amy - knew that some of what the woman was saying was true. Her babysitter. And Amy was scared. So I shoved her again, throwing my weight into Blossom, and knocking her back a full step.

"Shuttup!" I said, balling my hands tight at my sides. My body felt like a bomb. Not a very strong one, but it was building up with potential energy. I took a deep breath, but it didn't calm me down. It gave the fire oxygen.

"Oh my goodness, your Mommy was right - you do have a temper, don't you?"

Now, Blossom hadn't prearranged rules for spanking Amy, and she was going to try and steer away from that pathway; but if it seemed organically like Amy was goading her into doing it? She'd be happy to oblige.

"I knew a girl just like you; well she used to be just like you; all fire and bristle. And now she's one of the softest, sweetest, most helpless and charming little girls in all of Town. I'm sure once you meet her, you'll see just how much better it is for you to stop fighting. But if you do shove me again, I will give you ten swats over my lap, Amy. That's a warning."

I paused. It wasn't like someone cut the wire and the timer stopped on two seconds. It was like someone paused the TV to get a drink before coming back to hit play again. I was heavy with energy.

But the warning wasn't fake. It was a real warning. In the scene, my character would push things. She didn't have a choice. She couldn't back down. But I could. I could give up, put on a diaper, and spend the evening as a cute little baby girl for Blossom. I didn't have to be a brat.

But... I guess... I was curious. I'd never been spanked, not in my entire life. I'd written it. I'd read about it. I'd fantasized. But now Blossom Brixley - a girl I was in some kind of relationship with - was threatening to put me over her lap for throwing a tantrum. I felt hot in a nice way. I kind of wanted to kiss her instead. But there was no justifying that in character.

So I stepped up to Blossom, almost vibrating with a mixture of anticipation and mock frustration, and shoved her as hard as I could. She barely moved.

"Shut! Up!"