Epilogue Two

I would never fully understand Harvey's 'fursona', but he would likely never understand my Littlespace either. But we'd trade. I'd parade him around on a leash at his gatherings and he'd baby me at mine. It was a pretty big shock to learn that I was a switch after all that time - but I found genuine joy in fulfilling the dominant role for him, more than I had ever thought possible. It had taken a long time to work through the person that I used to be and the damage that Aubrey had done to me.

I hadn't spoken to her in almost a year now.

Harvey had saved my life. All because he had been Lucas' wingman and Lucas thought Aubrey was hot.

It was funny how life worked out sometimes. Harvey had turned out to be a psychology student at Berkeley. He had been studying specifically on how to help the victims of abuse cope with their pain... it was kismet. He had been my life raft, and I had cut ties with Aubrey. He helped me find a place to stay in Berkeley while I got back on my feet, he helped me get a job working near the university, and after six months of dating, I moved in with him.

It was scary to think about how close I had been to the bottom, how close I had been to death... and how wonderful things were now. He had helped me discover a caring, dominant side to my personality. He had helped me nurture it.

He had helped me grow into a whole person.

I wondered where Aubrey was from time to time. I wondered where Vanessa was. And some days it was hard to keep that part of my life behind me. I wrote them each lots of letters that I never sent, talking about my feelings, my regrets with Vanessa - how I'd been selfish and self-absorbed, how I hadn't valued what she had been offering... and my pain to Aubrey over what she had done to me, and how disappointed in myself I was for letting it get there. Harvey told me it wasn't my fault, that I had been doing the best I could with the resources I had at the time, that I had been sick.

But it was difficult to shake that shame.

I worried that I might never be free of it.

But I was trying.

And I was happy.