Chapter Twenty-Five

"So you're like some kind of dominatrix?" Dani asked suddenly after several long moments of silence on the drive back to my apartment.

"What? No," I said, a little surprised.

"That woman said you tied her up," she explained. "Did you?"

"I have tied her up," I admitted, "with her consent."

"You're... into that kind of thing?" she asked, a small tremor in her voice. It was hard to determine exactly what it was in her voice, whether it was fear or a hidden desire. I could tell that my judgement was impaired by the altercation with Lauren. I was still shaken. "Like that Fifty Shades of Grey thing?"

"No," I couldn't decide whether to smirk or sigh, the damage that had been done by the misconceptions from that book was immeasurable - but it had put alternate lifestyles in the spotlight, even with its wrong and awful portrayal, it had pushed the idea of dominance and submission into the mainstream... and people who were interested could learn. "Not quite like that - it wasn't a very healthy picture of a relationship or of safe play."

"But like... you like that sort of thing? Hurting people?" It was fear. Dammit. I wanted desperately to pull the car over and to look her in the face and set her straight, but I couldn't - we were still five minutes from the apartment and this needed an answer now.

"No, Dani," I said sadly, "I don't like hurting people. I like the trust that comes with that sort of game, the feeling that my partner knows absolutely that I won't do anything to hurt them, that I can help her find her limits in a safe way. I messed up with Lauren," I paused for a moment, sighing, "I'm interested in a very special kind of connection, and she wasn't. I thought that she was and I was wrong, and she's still angry about it."

When I looked over, I saw only the back of her head, her raven hair shining. She was staring out the window as Cupertino passed by. Neither of us said another word until the car was parked in my spot at the apartment complex.

"I won't do anything like that to you without your permission," I promised quietly.

"Can you believe how mad Jessica was?" she changed the subject with a small laugh. "I mean, I don't know her very well but damn - I didn't see that coming."

"Honestly, I've known her for a couple of years now and I've never seen her do that before," I shrugged. "It's pretty out of character for her, she's a very... " I searched for the word. Quiet certainly didn't describe Jess. Neither did non-confrontational, she could brat with the best of them. "Friendly person."

"It's kind of cute the way she calls you Nessa... and Seth 'Daddy'. It's almost like she's an overgrown toddler," she laughed, obviously amused with the absurdity of her statement without realizing how very close to the truth she was. "That really creeped me out at first, but she's so genuine. Seth really, really loves her. They're a cute couple. I hope to have something like that someday."

"Me too," I smiled, though I was talking about something different.

"So," she asked nonchalantly as I reached for the door handle, "is that why there are bars and a plastic sheet on your guest bed?"

I stopped cold.

Shit. I forgot about the plastic sheet.

"If you don't want to sleep there anymore," I offered, "we can figure something out."

"It is!" she laughed, "Do you want to tie me to the bed, Vanessa?" Suddenly it felt stiflingly hot in the car, and her hand was cool on my arm. "Oh my god! You're blushing! I didn't know you could blush." Her laugh was gentle, loving, not mocking at all. My face felt hot - I wasn't used to this situation, to not be in control of the direction of the conversation. So many situations had occurred with Dani that I never expected that it was hard to keep contingency plans at all. "Come on and teach me the ropes," she teased gently, her voice a purr.

The time between the car door and the apartment door was a blur, I didn't remember saying a single word - but as I stood in the guest room with Dani, my heart pounding in my chest as she sat on the crib-turned-daybed's mattress and stared up at me.

"So how does this work?" she asked. "You just... tie me up?"

"No," I said finally, sitting down next to her. "First we discuss safety."

"What?" she blinked, turning toward me. "Well that's not sexy at all," she laughed.

"Maybe not," I chuckled in return, the tension broken for a moment, "but it's important. You see, the words 'no' and 'stop' don't have the same meaning when you're playing. If you say 'no', we don't want to stop for me to ask whether you really mean it."

"Oh," she said, realization dawning. "Wait, you mean you won't stop if I ask you to?"

"Of course I will - but we need to decide on a couple of words that really mean stop while we play. The standard ones are 'yellow' for 'this is getting to be too much for me, we need to slow down' and 'red' for 'stop, I do not want this'."

"So if I say 'red', you'll stop no matter what?" she asked.

"Exactly - that way you can get a thrill, if you want to, out of begging me to stop while still being perfectly safe. If you really need to stop, you have that power. And if anyone - if you're playing with someone else - ever refuses to honor your safeword, you break contact with that person. They're not safe."

"That's what Jessica was talking about," Dani said, though it was still weird for me to hear Jess' full name instead of a cutesy nickname for her. "When she said that other woman used her safeword."

"Exactly - Lauren didn't like how I wanted to play, so we stopped. Are you sure you want to try this? We don't have to - we have other ways to explore- "

"I want to," she said suddenly, "I... I've always been curious about this sort of thing and I trust you... so... how do you do this?"

"Well," I smiled, a warm smile that I let slip into just the tiniest bit predatory. "You wait here and close your eyes."

I pushed her gently back on the bed as she closed her eyes, stepping to my room to retrieve a simple pair of cuffs and a length of cord with carabiners on each end. Just this would be a nice introduction, nothing too intense. I had never been deep into the BDSM game, I only had basic toys - most of my gear was about making my submissive feel small, not necessarily restrained.

Dani still had her eyes closed when I returned, her breathing quick and shallow, her arms trembling ever so slightly. I traced a gentle finger down her arm before reaching her wrist, gently slipping the first soft pink cuff around her wrist and buckling it - I didn't make it too tight, but it would feel secure, inescapable. I didn't bother with locks, she was too new. Once the other cuff was secure, I pulled her hands above her head, threading the cord through the bars of the crib and clipping it to her cuffs.

"There," I said softly, breathily, "you won't be going anywhere now. How do you feel?"

"Silly," she giggled, "what am I supposed to feel?"

I slid my hands down her body in response, tracing from her neck, across her collarbones and down the tops of her breasts, sliding my fingers down the sides and toward her shorts. I leaned down, pressing my lips to her thigh while holding her hips tightly between my hands. Slowly, gently, I dug my teeth into her flesh ever so slightly, a gasp coming from her. I heard the carabiner click against the D-rings on her cuffs and I grinned. I slid my tongue toward the hem of her shorts sliding a hand down and up one leg, invading her denim cut-offs and dragging my nails across the tender flesh where her bottom met her thighs.

I pinched her slightly, enjoying the sudden jerking of her body.

"Hey!" she gasped, "That's not nice!"

"So stop me," I teased, biting her thigh again and drawing forth a soft moan. "Just take me by the hands."

"I can't!" she protested, squirming as I stood and climbed on top of her, swinging one leg over and straddling her. I leaned back and reached behind me, dragging my nails up her bare legs, enjoying the feel of her soft, smooth skin as I did. I hadn't spent nearly enough time on her legs, her skin was silky-soft and she moaned again, long and low - I had definitely not paid enough attention to her legs.

"That's the idea," I laughed softly as I leaned forward, taking a breast in each hand. I squeezed gently as I came in for a kiss, pressing my lips softly to hers. "And this is how we start."

"I like this start," she grinned, tugging at her bonds. "I can see the appeal."

"There's a lot more to come, my sweet princess," I smiled down at her, with a very predatory smile this time. The grin that spread across her lips warmed my heart - she really did like that nickname.

And I liked my princess.

* * *

I crept softly through the darkness. It felt so strange to be completely without a diaper after being trapped in them for so long, but I needed to be quiet - if Aubrey caught me she'd be mad, but the crinkle made it more likely that she'd catch me. Vanessa wasn't answering my calls or texts, but maybe she would answer Aubrey's number? She seemed to come around when Aubrey threatened her. I pushed the door to her room open slowly, wincing at the creak that came from the hinges, my heart seizing in my chest.

Aubrey's soft snore still came from her bed. I tiptoed over toward her - she always charged her phone in the same spot, on the nightstand next to her... I took it quietly, slipping back out of her room and going to the couch.

I found Vanessa's contact info - it was under Terminator - and read through her messages. They were all short and to the point... I couldn't pretend to be Aubrey and send a message like this, she wouldn't understand that I was in danger.

I needed her help. I needed my mommy.

I couldn't go to the cops, the diaper thing was too humiliating. I had pushed away most of my other friends, and my co-workers didn't even really like me. Aubrey was all I had... so Vanessa was my only hope.

I dialed her number and prayed for her to answer... but it went to her voicemail.

"Vanessa," I begged after the beep, "It's Kailee. I know I don't deserve it, but I need your help. Aubrey's gone crazy, she's beating me... it's not fun any more, and she won't stop. Please. Please Vanessa, I don't know how to make her stop."

I barely stopped myself from crying as I hung up the phone, hoping against hope that Vanessa would listen to my message and come to my rescue. I knew she hated me now, I didn't deserve help... I deserved what Aubrey was doing to me. I moved back into Aubrey's room, holding my breath as I stood next to her and plugged her phone in, trying to make sure I was putting it in the same spot.

But I hadn't expected the phone to light up and chime when I plugged it in - mine didn't do that.

Aubrey's eyes opened slowly, but she sat bolt upright when she saw the phone in my hands.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"My phone is dead," I lied, "I just wanted to... "

"So you snuck into my room to take mine?" she growled, grabbing me by the wrist. I yelped as she tugged me off balance, sending me crashing to the bed... and my butt up in the air. Agony flared on my bottom as her hand came down on a spot that wasn't even close to healed. "and you're not wearing your diaper? Oh that's it, you're losing all toilet privileges as of right now."

"No," I begged. I hated messing. I loved the feeling of doing it, but even Vanessa hadn't liked cleaning up after it. It wasn't fun and it wasn't pleasant. "Please Aubrey!" Her hand impacted again and I collapsed, I couldn't take it any more. I curled into a ball as she hit me, "Please stop... please." I had stopped trying to safeword, it only made her madder.

"Listen to me, Kailee," she snarled. "You're not going to wear any clothes around the apartment any more, got it? And I catch you using the bathroom, I swear I will make you regret it. This is nothing in comparison. Do you understand? Say 'yes Nanny'."

"Yes Nanny," I sobbed as she grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me to a standing position. She didn't release her grip until she shoved me onto my own bed in my room, throwing a folded diaper at me.

"Put it on," she ordered

"Yes Nanny," I whimpered as I unfolded the diaper, laying it under me and pulling the front up between my legs. This used to be the best feeling ever, the feeling of a fresh diaper being taped on, but it wasn't fun any more. Aubrey had ruined it and I didn't even want to look at another diaper. Once the tapes were secure, I looked up at her for approval.

"Actually," she said snidely, "Put on two."

She threw another one at me - she didn't seem to understand that wearing two diapers didn't really do anything without poking holes in the first one, but she didn't like being "argued with" any more, so I unfolded it as well, feeling the extra bulk as I taped it around me as well. It was going to be hard to sleep like this.

"Now thank me," Aubrey demanded. "Thank me for putting you back in diapers."

"Thank you Nanny," I sniffled. "Thank you for putting me back in diapers." I would have loved this if she cared, she was doing all of my favorite things but it just felt bad. She didn't care. She didn't care even a little bit, or she'd listen to the safeword.

"Let me know when you've shit yourself," she said, turning off my light and going back to bed. "And don't take it off."

"Please Vanessa," I whispered as I heard her climb back into her bed. "Please."