Chapter Three

The hallway felt like it stretched on forever as I walked toward the bedroom. I followed the trail of rose petals to the open door.. the bedroom was lit by a thousand candles, they were everywhere. Candles lined the walls, covered the top of every flat surface, the dresser, the vanity, the end tables flanking the bed, and even the floor.. leaving only a walkway and a large circle around the queen sized bed. The flames danced in their own hypnotic rhythm as my eyes followed the scattered flowers, straight to her naked body. I ached with desire for her. She was spread eagle on the bed, my eyes traced the lines of her body unbidden. From the tips of her painted toes, up her smooth legs. Her thighs were plump and she was completely shaven... she had a bit of a muffin top, and her large breasts hung beautifully on her chest. She was curvy, she was soft, she was mine. Her body may not have been the modern definition of perfect beauty, but she was beautiful to me. Littles came in all shapes and sizes, after all. Her smile was brighter than all the candles combined, and she looked at me with a hunger. Her long blonde hair laid out around her head like a golden halo, the soft natural wave in it was beyond gorgeous. We had been dating for weeks, we had made love, and I had slowly brought out her inner child to play. Tonight was the night. She gazed at me with longing, her eyes tracing my lines from top to bottom just as I followed hers from toe to smile.

Then she looked down and saw the folded diaper in my hand, the soft purple plastic encasing the fluffy padding, ready for her. This was the night I claimed her, taped her in her padding and made her mine forever.

"What the fuck, Vanessa? Why the fuck do you think I would let you put me in a diaper? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Suddenly she was fully clothed, inexplicably two inches taller than I was, and glaring down at me. The candles spilled over on either side of us and the room was engulfed in flame.

"You're fucking sick, Vanessa. We're done. Get some help."

I sank to my knees as she walked out of the burning bedroom and slammed the door, leaving me alone with the fire. The flames slowly crept toward me...

I woke, bathed in sweat and with tears streaming down my face. A beam of Saturday morning sunshine fell across my face as I sat upright in bed. Just a dream. I looked at the empty spot next to me, her spot. She hadn't moved in, but she may as well have. She had slept here every night for weeks.. I had thought I had her just where I wanted her, I had thought that she was the one. My Little Girl, my Princess Lauren. I wiped a tear from my cheek with the back of my hand and laid back down, clutching my pillow tightly. I laid there for an hour or more, willing myself to go back to sleep, to make the day go away... but sleep didn't come. I was exhausted from the nightmare, but my body wouldn't let me drift off again.

Eventually, I got up and started my weekend cleaning routine. It was too soon to contact Dani, I had to wait until tomorrow.. I was groggy and grumpy, but all that melted away as my phone buzzed. I leapt for it before the tone could even sound, hoping it was her.

SETH: How was your date?

My feet were back on the ground, a sigh heaving from my chest. It was only Seth. But I didn't feel like cleaning any more, so a short text conversation would be a fine distraction.

Good. She's got a lot of potential, I like her.

SETH: When's the second date?

Not sure. But I know what I'll be giving as a gift.

Seth was delightfully nosy. It was generally more of a help than a hinderance. We'd been friends for a long time, when we discovered we were into the same kink.. it had been pretty incredible. We met at a fetish night for a local club many years ago, ABDL wasn't nearly as popular back then as it seemed to becoming now, the younger crowd seemed more open and accepting than people my own age... unfortunately I was too old for most of them, or they were too young for me. It was probably a little bit of both. There was also the fact that people already in the community didn't offer the kind of challenge I was after. Seth worried that my seeming addiction to the challenge itself would mean I would never be happy, but I hoped he was wrong.

SETH: Cupcake says hi. She's happy things are going well for you.

Tell her I want her to have a playmate even more than she does ;)

SETH: I know that and you know that, but cupcake is too little to think that far ahead.

I sighed, Seth gave her entirely too much leeway in her thoughtless behavior. Jess didn't even have a job any more, she was a full-time baby for him. She cleaned his apartment and took care of herself during the day, but the minute he got home, she was useless. Well, that wasn't fair.. she provided him joy, but she certainly didn't lift a finger as long as he was around. That wasn't the ideal dynamic for me. Yes, I wanted a woman in diapers, I wanted her to be my baby... but not a helpless infant all the time. I would need the challenge even when she was already my padded princess. I needed someone smart, someone savvy... I didn't want some bimbo like Jess, and that's all Jess wanted to be.

Another sigh escaped my lips as I laid the phone back down on the bed next to me, willing it to ring. And it chimed... close enough. The chime wasn't Seth's, either. I eagerly tapped the fingerprint sensor to unwrap the digital gift that awaited me.

DANI: I had a really good time last night. Thanks again for dinner.

I read and re-read the simple two-sentence message. Honestly, I hated text messaging. It was so hard to pick up subtext without tone, without facial expressions, without body language. That simple message could hide a thousand different meanings underneath it. I needed to see her, but I couldn't push. I had initiated the first date, I had kissed her unbidden... she hadn't rejected it but there was something I was missing, some piece of the puzzle I couldn't see yet and I was shaken from the dream. I wasn't sure if I could take another heartbreak like Lauren. She hadn't been the first to reject me, for sure - but she was the first one since I became my current self, since I discovered my confidence.

It was my pleas_

No, too formal. I erased the message and pondered - the missing piece of this puzzle tugged at my brain - did her last girlfriend contact her again? The phone records I had gotten for her were a week old now, and there had been no signs of Elaine - all the signs were there that she was ready for a new relationship, it didn't feel like an old flame situation.

How's dinner on Wednesday sound? I got you a small something, a gift.

I stared at the message, frozen. I took a deep breath and trusted my instincts - the best I could do via text messaging. I had to remind myself that I had a minimal investment at this point - only a single date, dinner and a small gift, a relatively small amount of time... fifteen to twenty hours of research and social engineering, if it went south it wouldn't be the end of the world, maybe I could find a sub girl at the club and-

DANI: Oh you shouldn't have

I shouldn't have? Why shouldn't I? Was it just the turn of phrase or was there a deeper meaning? Did she really not want me to?

DANI: How about coffee?

Shit. That was a red flag. I let out a deep sigh as the phone dropped from my fingers. Coffee instead of dinner was the kiss of death, or rather my kiss had been the kiss of death. Too far, too fast, too Vanessa. I sighed again as the phone buzzed, it was likely some excuse. She was busy, she had to wash her hair, she had a deadline at work, I'd already heard them all. Goddammit, why did I kiss her? Why couldn't I just take it slow? You just never knew, so many people weren't in tune with their own feelings let alone someone else's, some people needed you to go fast, to show them that you were serious. Dani apparently wasn't one. I flopped down on the couch, a sour look on my face as I raised the phone up to read her reason.

DANI: You surprised me with that kiss, I liked it. You've given me a lot to think about.

I could only blink. Of all the responses I expected, that was not one.

Coffee sounds great, when?

DANI: Wed sounds great

The reply came immediately - that was easy to read at least, she had to have been looking at her phone, waiting for a response. She was at least a little bit eager.

DANI: Same place I met you before, 3PM?

Crap.

Can't. I'm in Redwood City for work this week. Morning coffee?

DANI: You want to catch coffee before hitting the 101? That's crazy

She was right, leaving late would cost me way more time than most people would consider to be worth it. But she was worth it.

If it's between traffic and not seeing you, I pick traffic.

Ugh, it was cheesy but it was already sent. It made me sound desperate. I wasn't desperate, but I was definitely interested in her. I hope she could read the difference.

DANI: See you at 6 then.

Coffee - not the most romantic of meetups, but I just had to keep reminding myself that I needed to take things slow, I needed to ease my way into her life. She needed to learn about me just as much as I needed to learn about her. I was interested, intrigued, but there was no guarantee that we'd be compatible. For all I knew, she had some terrible belief structure - just because a woman is gay doesn't mean she has all her shit together, there could be any number of hidden neuroses or psychoses there, lurking beneath that delightfully cute exterior. That stern professional façade hiding the little girl within... oh I was dying to know what kind of underwear she was hiding under those pants. It would tell me everything I wanted to know.

The rest of my Saturday was uneventful, but that was okay - my weekend cleaning routine was done a bit early, so it was time to indulge. I considered myself to be a highly organized person, I enjoyed sorting things - it gave a kind of satisfaction that was hard to get other ways. Sorting things that I knew I liked was even better. So I slipped into the second bedroom of the apartment and basked in the scene that awaited me there. It was bittersweet - I had reconstructed it all after Lauren left. When she started spending more and more time over, I had dismantled everything, hidden everything and it turned out that had been the right instinct. Maybe things could have worked out with Lauren if I had gone slower, maybe she could have been my princess, but if she had seen this, it would have spooked her immediately.

With a smile, I slid my hand along the top railing of the crib - the lovely, cushy, foam hybrid mattress rested nearly on the ground and it was not hard to imagine Dani pouting at me from behind those bars. Would she be a pouty princess? A bouncy princess? I hoped she wouldn't be a brat like Jess - I was sure she wouldn't... but I was also sure she'd be a princess-type. Oh so sweet but needing things to go her way, needing attention and cuddles. The squirrel-purse told me that, the way she ate at dinner told me that. The gleaming white wood of the crib bars brought me joy - the bed could be converted into a daybed reasonably easily, the frame raised, the side bars lowered and the front bars removed... it was how I had hidden it from Lauren.

I pulled the long top drawer out of the dresser, running my hand along the tops of the soft plastic coverings of the diapers I had collected - ABU Space, Dotty the Pony, DC Amors... but these were all in the large size, Lauren's size. With a smile I lifted an Amor, enjoying the feel of the backing, so soft. A smile came to my lips as I imagined laying Dani down and sliding one underneath her.

Oh well, I thought, that smile lingering, these will be good for days when my princess needs to be double-diapered.

I still had an array of mediums in a box in the closet, ones I had bought for Kailee...

I spent the rest of the day reorganizing the nursery, putting away all the larger clothing and diapers, and pulling out the mediums, sorting them by color and style and just daydreaming.