Chapter Twenty-One

"Kailee," I snapped, standing in the living room and staring at the dirty plate sitting on the coffee table. I had been so pleased when I came left for work that morning - the dishes had been done and put away, everything was tidy... the laundry wasn't done, but not everything could be accomplished in one evening. And here she was forgetting my lessons already. I didn't want to hit her, I didn't like hitting her - but she liked it. She wanted it, she needed it. And so if I wanted her to get over Vanessa - hopefully get over this whole stupid baby game entirely - I had to get her back on her feet and back out into the world. She had to find a new partner - preferably a man who could take care of her or at least make her life easier... like Benny was for me.

"Coming Aubrey," I heard her voice from down the hall and my eyes narrowed. She was wearing a midriff and a pair of shorts that were far too tight to conceal a diaper... which she wasn't wearing. In a way, this was good. I was breaking her of her desire.

"What are you wearing?" I demanded. I'd bring up the fact that she hadn't called me 'nanny' in a moment.

"Red, Aubrey," she held up her hands, keeping her distance from me. "I don't want to play today, my butt still hurts. We need to-"

"We don't need to do anything," I snapped. "Your little word doesn't mean shit to me, Kailee." She wants this, I reminded myself. She wants this. I just have to give her even more than she wants. "You need to march your ass back to your room and put on your diaper, little girl." I crossed my arms as I looked at her, watching her shrink in on herself slightly.

I had to admit, that felt pretty good - that power. I understood at least a little of what Vanessa got out of this.

"Aubrey," Kailee complained meekly, "I don't want-"

"You don't get to call me that any more," I growled, stepping toward her. She squeaked and backed away, fear in her eyes. I had watched Vanessa spank her, Kailee had admitted she masturbated after that - she couldn't help herself, she wanted this. She probably brought out the vibrator yesterday while I was in my shower, after that spanking... I had to take a shower after that.

"Nanny," she whimpered, "I'm sorry. Please, I need a break from-"

"You are going to go to your room and put on your diaper right now," I sneered, taking another step forward. She backed away quickly. "You're going to get a spanking one way or the other. Do you want it on your bottom or your diaper?"

"Please Nanny," she begged, that same way she begged the Terminator. "Please don't make me-"

"GO!" I roared, reaching for her. She ran.

I sank to the couch, putting a hand to my mouth. How could Vanessa like this? A little bit was fun, but Kailee had actually looked scared there. I felt sick to my stomach... and I was still going to have to spank her. You never made an idle threat, you followed through on every one - never make a threat you're not going to carry out. I had to.

I had to make it a good one too, I had to show her that she couldn't disobey. That she had to be exactly what she always said she wanted, a toy, a plaything... I had to give her what she wanted from Vanessa, I had to break her of it.

Because I loved her.

When she back came out, she had a long skirt that covered her. I walked over and pulled it down, letting it drop to the floor in a puddle at her feet, revealing the diaper beneath. She looked ridiculous in the midriff and a puffy diaper, but I would play my part.

"I put it on," she whispered, looking at the ground.

"I'm going to start counting," I warned, "And you're going to fix your mistake in the living room. And for every number I count, that's how many swats you're getting. I want it clean."

"What am I-"

"One," I cut her off, sending her into a panic. She scrambled for the coffee table and grabbed the plate, scurrying to the sink and setting it inside. "That's not clean. Five."

"No!" she whimpered, starting the water... it was to the count of twelve before it was warm enough to wash. I had finished twenty-six by the time she was done and the plate was away.

"Lean over the arm of the couch," I instructed.

"Aub.. Nanny, twenty-six is too much for just a plate!" she begged, still standing near the sink.

"Twenty-seven," I snarled, sending her running over to the couch and laying face-down over the arm. I grabbed the wooden spoon from its prominent spot on the coffee table. I tried to make sure it was always visible, just as a reminder.

"Please don't," she begged. "That's too many, I still hur- OW!"

It shouldn't hurt that much - I was hitting her on the diaper, each smack making a thud rather than the slap of wood on flesh. She was probably faking. By twenty-five I wasn't so sure, she was crying so hard, sobbing, her body shaking. But I was so close to the end, she'd be able to take two more - she had padding.

"Go to your room," I said more gently, stroking her hair. "And listen next time."

Her reply was a strangled sob as she struggled to climb off the arm of the couch and headed back, walking slowly. Let her go masturbate, it would make her feel good.

"And know," I added, "I only do this because I care about you."

As usual, my mother's words made me feel sick.

* * *

It had been a week since Dani's apartment burned down. The claim check had come through, she had enough clothes to get by and had replaced some of her favorite things, but she hadn't had much luck on the apartment hunting front, at least not in Sunnyvale. Everyone who had lived in her previous complex was looking at the same time, and the rates had gone up mysteriously. She was stressed out about it, she felt guilty that she was "mooching"... but I really enjoyed having her around. Our nearly nightly gaming sessions began stretching a bit later, and she had actually blown Julian off for me once in the past week. But she was going out with him tonight.

"I was hoping," she said, "to have found a place by now. Julian's going to ask about it and I hate lying... but I don't want to tell him the truth."

"We're just friends," I pointed out reasonably.

"But we were dating," she countered... but there was something she wasn't saying. I had a hope ast to what it was but I had no confirmation. To me it felt like there was an unspoken and we might again.

That could have just been wishful thinking.

"They say honesty is the best policy," I offered - not really an idea I subscribed to personally. People lied all the time, about big things, about little things, it was just part of being human. Every time someone asked 'How are you' and you said 'Fine' when you weren't, that was a lie.

"Yeah," she agreed hesitantly.

"You're not doing anything wrong," I reminded her, sliding the glass of tea I had finished sugaring up for her down the counter and into her waiting hand. It had taken Dani a few days to relax - once she had the messes had started, but she was easy to clean up after and I didn't have anything else to do during the day. My puzzle was coming along nicely and I was enjoying my reprieve from evaluating the worth of others and their contributions to a system.

"You're right," she nodded, taking a sip and smiling. It hadn't been hard to figure out her preferences - she was a Little through and through and it showed constantly. The tea was sweetened to the point that I couldn't drink it without making a face, but it was perfect for her.

I had begun to care for her in subtle ways while she stayed with me. Pouring her drinks for her, serving her food - she had even grown used to me dabbing a napkin at a bit of food on her face. She still offered a small, funny look when I did it, but she didn't complain and she didn't pull away. If anything, she had begun to turn toward me for it. My slow and steady approach was working.

"Is it okay if I ask where you're going tonight?" I inquired. "Just so I don't suggest the same kind of food for the weekend, that is."

"Julian always asks me where I want to go," Dani shrugged. "But I know his favorite is Italian, so that's what I'm going to pick."

"Even though your favorite is sushi?" I knew already what she was going to say.

"Julian doesn't like sushi," she smiled wistfully. "So I don't suggest it any more. It's okay, I'd rather he were happy." There it was. She was a people-pleaser, I already knew that about her. She would hide her desires, her preferences, to make someone else happy. It didn't sit well with me, and I was constantly coaxing what she really wanted out of her. She had been doing it so long - her entire life - even if she couldn't see it, that sometimes she honestly didn't know what she wanted.

But I did.

"What you want matters too," I told her futilely. She'd say, Oh I don't mind with some excuse.

"Oh, I don't mind. I like Italian, too - even if it's not my favorite. It's silly to eat your favorite thing every day, it wouldn't be your favorite any more!"

I stifled a sigh as she stepped lightly to her room. I waited a beat before picking up her phone from where she had left it on the counter. Her lock screen was simple to solve, she was a messy person - of course she hadn't cleaned her phone. The smudge of her fingerprints was easy to see at the right angle, and soon I was installing my favorite tracker app from my private server. It's not that I thought she'd lie to me about where she was going, but these sorts of things had come in handy in the past - it was reasonable to assume that they would again. I set her phone gently back down in the exact spot I had lifted it from before I sat back down at the table, finding the next piece of my jigsaw puzzle.

Dani came back out in a mustard yellow top with a floral pattern, so long it covered all but the bottom of her short denim cutoffs beneath. She was adorable, but the style was far too mature for her - she would be much cuter in a onesie with a thick diaper peeking out. She wouldn't have to make decisions if she'd just surrender to me. She could have her favorite things, she could throw all her cares away - all I wanted was her.

"How do I look?" she asked, adjusting her round blue-tinted shades on her nose.

"You look stunning, as always," I smiled. She blushed, turning her toes inwardly as she twined her fingers together. "You should wear the chunky stone necklace - the light blue one."

"Oh you're right!" she grinned, rushing back to the bedroom. "It's perfect!" She called before running back to me, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. I couldn't help myself, I pulled her close and held her tight, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.

"You're perfect," I whispered, caught up in the moment, my mind entirely elsewhere.

"What?" she asked, pulling back.

I was stunned at my complete lack of control. I wanted her so badly, I wanted to chase away all her hurts, help her heal all her damage. I wanted her to be mine, to be getting ready to go out with me and not him and for the briefest moment, I had let myself live that fantasy.

"You're perfect," I doubled down. "You're beautiful and smart and wonderful and kind, Danielle. I'm very glad to be in your life."

"Wow," she blushed. "I really appreciate that, Vanessa... but I'm far from perfect and we both know it." There was a sadness in her eyes as she said it - she couldn't see herself the way I could, she could only see the parts she didn't like, she couldn't see how even those "imperfections" made her perfect.

"I'm sorry," I gave the smallest sigh with a wistful smile that said 'I will always be here for you'. "I hope I didn't make you feel awkward before your date. I hope you have a really great time."

"Yeah," Dani agreed, slipping in for a tight hug. I held her close, breathing in the scent of her hair before she pulled away. "Me too."