Chapter Four

My plan for Sunday had been simple: video games. Next week was going to be rough, there was no doubt about it. The gig was a post-startup, funding was drying up and the bloat and excess of the "spend to grow" mentality was choking the company to death - my specialty. So as I stared at Jess in her crib, gripping the bars with actual tears running down her face, I wondered again how Seth had managed to talk me into this. She had been stuck in the crib for at least an hour after he left. I hadn't gotten his message right away - I had been asleep like a sane person on a Sunday morning - and it was generally half an hour from Cupertino to Burlingame.

"He left me!" Jess wailed, a small puddle staining the soft pink sheets on the mattress. Thankfully, I could hear the crinkle of the plastic protector. At first I told myself there was no way I was doing his laundry for him, but I knew it was a lie. Seth was as good as friends came, and he'd be exhausted when he got back - he shouldn't have to deal with wet sheets on top of everything.

"He didn't leave you," I said softly as I lowered the bars to her crib and helped her step out, bow legged. Her onesie was soaked and I stripped it and the diaper from her quickly before escorting her to the bathroom. "You're being dramatic, you silly toddler."

She pouted as I sat her down on a towel on the floor - in a way it was adorable that she was still following his rules, she wasn't allowed to stand without an "adult" helping her. In another way, it was mildly irritating. We'd be breaking at least a few of his rules today - I wasn't bathing his Little.

"He did!" she pouted, crossing her arms over her bare chest, her pigtails bouncing as she huffed. "He left me all alone and I couldn't get out of the crib and I leaked!"

"Oh I know, silly girl," I tapped her on the nose as the bath filled - with pink bubbles, of course - and slowly undid her pigtails and removed her pink collar. "But I also know you could have gotten out, and you could have gone to the potty. We both know you use it for number two when he's not around."

"Nuh uh," she blushed furiously, hiding her face in her hands - of course it was true. I knew it, Seth knew it, she knew it as well. How could he not?

"Oh hush," I smirked, taking her gently by one arm and "lifting" her, guiding her into the water. "I expect you to wash yourself, little girl. Understand?"

"But Daddy always washes me!" she whined - this was why I didn't like babysitting Jess so much. She could take care of her self - she did it every day, after all - but on the weekends she was especially "helpless". Seth only ever asked me to watch her on the weekends, when he got called away for work. He was ridiculously good at his job, this sort of thing happened. Hopefully it would be a quick run, unlike last time... last time I had been stuck with Jess for almost twelve hours and had been ready to throttle the girl.

"As you said," I told her sternly, handing her a washcloth. "Daddy isn't here, he had to work so you're stuck with Aunt Vanessa."

"I ha- " her tantrum stopped cold before she could say the word "hate". That was a button for me, and one she had pushed last time, and she hadn't enjoyed the aftermath. The death glare that was surely on my face declared that continuing that particular bit of brattiness would be a terrible idea. She deflated quickly. "Sorry Nessa."

"I forgive you," I said softly, sitting on the closed toilet and pulling out my phone. "Just don't say that to me, okay cupcake?" She preened as I used his nickname for her, and began soaping up the washcloth. "You're still going to get your baby day and if you're good I'll spoil like your Daddy does... but if you're rotten to me, I'll put you back in that crib with your mittens and that will be that."

"Sowwy Auntie Nessa," she whimpered, slipping into that lisp that set my teeth on edge.

"Don't, Jess - don't go sugar sweet on me. I'm not your Daddy. Let's get you bathed, get you diapered, and go relax on the couch and watch one of your cooking shows."

"Yay!" she literally bounced in the water, splashing a bit out of the tub. "I wanna watch the Great British Baking Show!" I couldn't help but laugh. Seth hated reality TV, loathed it with every fiber of his being and likely had it blocked on his Netflix account - but I could connect to his systems just as well as he could and it wasn't blocked on mine. Jess was actually a reasonably talented cook and she often made dinner for the pair of them... as long as she was done before he walked in the door, when she collapsed to the floor like an infant. Theirs was a strange dynamic, but it worked for them and they were both happy.

"How about," I began, teasing, "we get you dried off and in a nice, blue diaper - one of the Space ones, and we go watch... I dunno, a nature documentary instead?"

"No!" her attitude changed instantly, horror on her face. "Pink diapers! Nessa please! Pink diapers and cooking shows, you said you said!"

I had to admit, her obsession with pink was adorable. The Space diapers were there as her "naughty" diapers - she would be put in those when Seth was cross with her, when she didn't deserve pink ones. I was surprised they didn't get used more with the amount she bratted, but hey - I wasn't her mommy. I didn't think I'd be putting a collar around my Little's neck either... I enjoyed BDSM games, but I liked them separate from my ageplay games.

"Okay, okay," I laughed, "But not because you're throwing a tantrum. Because I already offered, and I need to be consistent with tiny tots like you. Remember, tantrums don't get you anywhere with me like they do your Daddy. Now, finish up your washing, wash your hair, and we'll get you dressed and ready to watch some TV. Do a good job but don't take too long - your Daddy could come home any minute, and then your TV time will be done."

She nodded and proceeded to bathe like the adult she was - I actually envied her a little bit, she didn't have to shave her legs... Seth had all of the hair on her legs and arms removed with electrolysis, her skin was always smooth and soft. She groomed her pubic hair often, so it was quick and before long, I was escorting her betoweled form to her nursery and laying her down on her changing table. This particular piece of furniture was missing from my own collection... but Seth's apartment was bigger than mine. I had her dried and powerded and taped up in a DC Amor with a booster in no time. I pulled her to a sitting position and patted her leg, taking a moment to fasten her collar back around her neck before I walked over to her closet to choose an outfit.

"I want... "

"You did NOT just begin a sentence with 'I want', did you?" I cut her off. I Want was another pet peeve of mine. Littles should always begin with May I Please when they wanted something.

"Sorry, Auntie Nessa," the way she shrunk in on herself was delightful, her whole body language changed from confident to cowering in the blink of an eye. I shot her a smile that said, 'Good girl' over my shoulder as I selected her outfit... a pink shirt with pink shortalls. Almost everything in her closet was pink... except for her punishment clothing, which was all in blue.

She clapped her hands as I carried the outfit over, slipping the shirt over her head and pulling the shortalls up her legs. I loved these shortalls - I had a pair in the nursery closet in my apartment as well... the sides were high rise to hide a diaper and snug around the waist... but the beauty of the garment was the buckles. They required a key to open. We had bought from the same vendor at the same time, my key worked on Jess' outfit just as well as the pair that was waiting for my own princess. A shiver went through Jess' body as the heavy click came from the lock as I snapped them closed.

"Oh, I love that sound," she purred, her cutesy voice dropped for just a moment and the sultry tone she usually saved for Seth bleeding through. "It's just so... final, so inescapable. Can we... can we talk for a bit, Nessa?" Her face scrunched up as she used her usual nickname for me, juxtaposed against her request for a more adult conversation.

"Yes, we can talk," I smiled, taking her by the hand and leading her out to Seth's living room. I sat on the couch, pulling her gently down next to me. "When you're ready to be Little again, move to the floor. Until then, you can call me Vanessa." The relief on her face was immense, and her entire posture relaxed. I began to wonder if everything was all right between her and Seth - a lifestyle couple still needed to connect outside of the dynamic, the game couldn't be everything... it wasn't healthy. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I'm just curious," she began timidly, winding her fingers together, "does Daddy... does Seth think I'm a burden?"

Of all the questions I expected to come out of her mouth, that had not been one of them. I was good at reading people - really good, it's what made me great at my job, and yet here I was again, for the second time in a week, floored by an unexpected reaction. Seth and Jess were the perfect pair, the poster couple for DD/lg - he was dominating, commanding, loving, and she was cute, cuddly, and bratty but mostly obedient... and they loved each other deeply.

"Jessica," I smiled a soft smile, a smile that said 'Everything will be all right', and laid a hand on her knee, turning my body to face her. I put on a familiar mask, one that I used to comfort distraught employees - I couldn't meddle in Seth's relationship, but I felt confident in how to deal with this particular Little-crisis. "I can't say for certain how Seth feels about you at any given moment, but I can say this: what you are feeling is really common for kept submissives. You're wondering if you're worth the trouble, if you contribute enough, if he's just playing along to keep you happy and he's secretly miserable."

There it was. That was the fear. Tears sprung to her eyes immediately and she nodded her head quickly, her lips pursed as she tried to keep herself from crying. Jess didn't have the firmest rein on her emotions - it came with pretending to be a toddler the vast majority of the day. I wasn't even sure how much contact she had with people outside of the community, she had thrown herself so thoroughly into her role.

"It's not your responsibility to second guess him," I assured her. "If he's miserable, it's his responsibility to talk about it. You can ASK him about it, but whatever he tells you, you should take at face value. Here's where the real problem lies, I think - you can't understand why he would be happy taking care of all your needs. Pampering you literally and figuratively. You can't understand why he would want to spend his time, effort, and money keeping you in this lifestyle that makes you so deliriously happy. You can't see what he's getting out of it, and it makes you feel guilty."

"Yes!" she gasped, nodding vigorously. "That's it exactly! When we first got together, I used to do so much for him, before... y'know," she gestured down at her diapered crotch, "I would buy him things and we would go places. I mean, I still make him dinner and I clean up around the apartment, but is that enough to repay him for everything he does for me? I don't want to lose him!" Her tears were flowing freely then, she was overwhelmed by fear and doubt. I simply followed my instincts and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her into my lap.

"Hey," I said softly wiping her tears away, "You're not going to lose him by doing what he wants, you silly Little. You're his cupcake and he loves you. You can't understand what he gets out of it because if you doted on him the way he dotes on you, giving every ounce of his attention, doing every little thing for you, you'd feel resentful and upset." She nodded again, confirming my thoughts. "But you're not wired the same way, Jess. You're not a dominant. You think I secretly want someone to swoop into my life and keep me in diapers?"

"No," she laughed a little, sniffling. "I can't even imagine you in diapers, you're so strong."

"And I don't want that. Do you want to be in diapers?" I tugged slightly at the strap to her shortalls. "You're helpless, Jess. You can't go to the potty if you wanted to, you're stuck and you're going to have to pee on yourself like a toddler. Is that what you want?"

She squirmed in my lap and nodded, blushing, hiding her face in her hands. Her body language was delightful, the smell of the powder on her, the faint remnants of strawberry-scented shampoo in her hair. She was adorable, and Seth was beyond lucky.

"Well?" I prompted her. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes, Auntie Nessa," she squeaked from behind her hands, her Little-voice returning. She couldn't help it, I was pushing her buttons, the ones that made her brain melt a little.

"Tell me that you like being trapped in your shortalls," I teased her, patting her diapered crotch.

"I like it," she whispered, "I like being trapped, I like having no choice."

"And Seth likes you being that way. A dominant doesn't want the squirmy feelings you're having right now, we don't feel them. We want to feel power, to feel your vulnerability. We want to feel needed and in control. We want to be trusted, deeply. I promise you, the feeling that you're having right now - Seth gets the dominant version of that feeling when he picks on you."

I tapped a few buttons on my phone, springing her British Baking program to life on the television.

"Thanks, Nessa," she sighed happily, sliding off my lap and onto the floor where Seth preferred her - I couldn't blame him, his leather couch was nice and she was prone to leaks, after all. "It's just so hard to believe that he would want that."

"You want to wear the diapers, he wants to put you in them, it's that simple. You're fulfilled by being controlled, he's fulfilled by being controlling. It takes all kinds. Now I have to go clean your bedding, Miss Puddle Pants."

"Sowwy," she lisped, laying her head on the coffee table. "Nessa?"

"Yes?" I paused on my way to her nursery, turning around again to face her.

"I hope you find your Little soon," she said softly.

"Me too, Jess. Me too."