Chapter Nineteen

Dani got home before I did, the 101 was beyond frustrating. Everything ground to a halt near the San Mateo bridge exit and traffic had been a crawl. I was really glad I had given her a key. She was sitting on the couch, looking rather rigid, and her eyes snapped up to me as I walked in.

"Welcome home," she said nervously.

"Everything okay?" I asked, setting my laptop bag gently by the door and slipping off my shoes.

"I just... I'm really afraid of messing up your apartment," she looked down as she spoke. "I never realized how messy mine was until I slept here - everything is perfect."

"Hey," I sat down next to her on the couch, "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry about what happened to your apartment, but I'm really glad to have you here. I'm kind of a neat freak, you're not," I shrugged, downplaying just how awful her place had been. "I don't think you're going to mess up my place - and if you do, we'll clean it together." I was not going to clean up after her. I would end the stalled relationship and begin my hunt anew before I ended up with an incurable slob - I had already gone through that once, Kailee liked leaving messes just to get in trouble and I just didn't have the patience to play that game again. Dani was messy - but I was banking on that being a curb-able habit.

"You sound like my mom," Dani laughed. It took everything I had to keep a straight face. "So how was the last day on this contract?"

"I am beyond glad it's over," I groaned, sinking into the couch and propping my bare heels up on the coffee table. Dani looked at me with a shocked expression, seemingly surprised at the action. "I don't mind these jobs, I'm good at figuring out the weak points in a system so the company can shore them up, but it's a very intensive process."

"It's crazy to me," Dani smiled, finally relaxing, "That you're not going to have a job to go to on Monday - you just, what? Wait for someone to call you?"

"Essentially," I shrugged. Dani didn't know the intimate details of what I did, she didn't know I was essentially contracted to decide who should keep their job - not everyone reacted well to that, so I was still holding my cards close. "If it looks like nothing is lining up, I'll start going to conventions or meetups and offer some free advice to keep myself fresh in peoples' minds. When it gets really dire, I start giving talks - but that doesn't happen often any more."

"So what are you going to do?" she asked, closing her laptop and setting it aside, turning her body toward me slightly. She was engaged and interested - that was good.

"Come on - I'll show you," I took her hand gently and stood, pulling her with me as I walked toward the kitchen. This touch was important, normalizing this sort of leading, this gentle contact. She tensed slightly when I slipped my hand into hers, she hadn't been expecting it and I could tell she still had some conflicted feelings. I had to be very careful to make this seem platonic, or she would feel like she was betraying Julian, which would make everything harder. She relaxed as we neared the dining room table and I removed the tablecloth and the center of the tabletop, revealing the velvety puzzle-area beneath. My new puzzle was waiting inside, sealed an unopened.

"Wow," she marveled, "that's cool. Wait... holy crap, that puzzle looks insane!"

"I find them paradoxically relaxing and challenging at once," I sat down in one of the chairs and smiled up at her. "So, this is my plan for Monday. It'll be nice to not have a gig for a bit."

"Don't you worry that you won't be able to get another one?"

"I used to," I confirmed. I could feel the anxiety at the prospect rolling off of her - this was one of the reasons Dani had potential to me in the first place... it was hard being a woman in tech, she had to fight so hard to get where she was, the idea of relaxing instead of continuing that clawing fight was alien to her. "But now I enjoy it. The phone will ring, I'll get another gig, and the cycle continues. For now, the cycle says 'Do a Puzzle'. How was your job today?"

"Ugh," she slumped down into the chair across from me, "Harpreet - the guy I was telling you about - he's totally brilliant and his output quality is amazing, but his interpersonal skills need a lot of work. I understand he's really upset about this problem with his parents, but that does NOT excuse telling a senior scientist he's a dumbass for not understanding a problem."

I shook my head, I was familiar with this situation from an entirely different angle. The really sharp employees tended to have these kinds of problems, but they also tended to be worth the investment. It was easy to find two dozen coders with degrees - it was hard to find one who was truly talented

"Isn't that his direct manager's job to deal with rather than yours?" I asked.

"Sure, in theory - but Joel just isn't equipped to deal with those sorts of problems, he just makes them worse. So I do what I can."

We talked for a while on this problem, I mostly listened - she didn't want or need a problem solver here, she wanted a friendly ear, and I was happy to give it. It also let the sexual tension fade a little as we connected on this friendly level - that's what I wanted, for small dominating touches like leading her by a hand to become commonplace, unconscious. I made us a quick dinner - most of my meal prep was for one, so I had to improvise, but it came out well. Tacos were easy and I just dipped into the meat I had planned for burgers later.

When I served her food - and I prepared it all, I fixed her plate for her, I chose her silverware, I poured her drink - I adjusted the way she was sitting in the chair before pushing it in slightly, just reinforcing this caregiver connection. She was a little unsettled, mostly by the fact that I wasn't allowing her to help which made her feel guilty - it was a problem with most submissives, hopefully she would adapt easily. I wanted to fix her plate, and I could see in her tiny smile when I set it in front of her, she wanted it too.

"So," I said after I took her empty plate - part of me wanted to compliment her, to tell her she was a good girl for eating so nicely, but that would have tipped my hand. She was accepting my care, she wasn't resisting... but too far and the whole thing would be blown. "It's Friday night. I have no plans, what about you?"

"Honestly," she sighed, "I'm exhausted. I called the insurance company but my claim is still being processed - and they won't be getting back to me until Monday. So really, I just think I'll go to bed early. I do have a question though... " she looked uncomfortable, embarrassed. "Why is there a plastic sheet on your guest bed?"

Shit. I had forgotten all about that.

"I'm so sorry," I put on a contrite face, "I just like to plan for all contingencies - that bed almost never gets used. I spilled soda on it once while I was playing a game," I lied. "Don't ask why I was playing from the guest bed - I just felt like it. Sometimes it's good to feel like you're getting utility from everything you're paying for, y'know? We can remove it tonight, it's no big deal."

"If it's not too big a deal," she blushed, looking down. This expression was hard to decipher accurately - my perceptions were skewed by my own emotions, I could feel it. Was she embarrassed because it was a childish thing and she didn't like it? Was she embarrassed because she secretly wanted it but didn't want to admit it? Was she embarrassed on my behalf because she thought I had something to hide? There were too many possibilities and I was compromised.

"Of course," I said - I wasn't going to be able to puzzle this out right now, so it was easier to just eliminate the variable. The last thing I wanted was for her to react negatively to any ageplay paraphernalia and bolt like Lauren did. "I'll take care of it."

"Thanks," she didn't return her gaze to me - she was avoiding eye contact now. I could feel myself start to panic a bit, which was doubly upsetting because I wasn't the panicking sort.

I pushed away from the table and headed to the nursery - the guest room - and removed the plastic sheet from the bed, folding it carefully and quietly before stashing it in my closet.

That had been close - too close - and it could have gone very badly. When I headed back to the kitchen, her back was to me - she was on the couch, on the phone.

"No, I'm just really tired tonight - I don't feel up to going out, I'm sorry. I had a really rough day yesterday and it's going to take me a while to get over it."

Julian? Jenni? The latter seemed less likely, she apparently wasn't talking to Dani. I hesitated in the hall, stepping toward the bathroom quietly, slowly lowering my heel to the floor before shifting my weight forward toward my toes. I was adept at walking quietly, especially while barefoot. The skill was essential in tormenting a blindfolded sub - if they could hear you walk, it ruined some of the tension.

"Thanks, sweetie. Yeah, let's plan on going out tomorrow night - no, no clubs. Just dinner, if that's okay? Yeah, that sounds great. I'll meet you there at six? Yes, I'll totally watch your show tonight. Good luck, have fun."

As she hung up, I stepped into the bathroom and flushed the toilet before running the water for a moment and "returning" to the living room.

"Okay," I smiled nonchalantly, a smile that said 'It is absolutely normal that I removed a plastic sheet from your bed and nothing out of the ordinary is going on'... or at least that was what I was aiming for. "Bed's re-made."

"I'll take care of the dishes from dinner, and then I'm probably going to go to bed, if that's cool?" She stood, turning toward me.

"That would be very nice, thank you." I walked into the kitchen with her and helped gather up the dishes - this was a delicate dance. On the one hand, I wanted her to be helpless for me, to allow me to care for her, but on the other if I didn't let her do any kind of chore, she was less likely to be willing to do them later - and I had no interest in a brat who had to be threatened to help out. No, it was better to let go of that caregiver instinct here and let her do the work.

I sat down on the couch while she washed the plates and forks - I had already put the leftover bits away and cleaned out the items I had used to cook. I found it much easier to pause while cooking to wash a dish when I was done with it than it was to leave a big pile until after the meal. This was the right move - she was anxious about feeling like she was taking advantage of me, she was anxious about "messing up" my place, she was anxious to prove her value to me. She had no idea how little that would take.

"Hey Vanessa," she smiled from the hallway after she had finished up, having grabbed her laptop on the way. I deliberately avoided watching her, wanting her to feel at ease.

"Yes?"

"Thanks again," her smile was thankful, but slightly wistful... there was a touch of sadness to the line of her lips, and I was having trouble deciding what that represented. "Thanks for letting me crash here, thanks for dinner, just... thanks. Thanks for being there for me."

"It's my pleasure, Dani. I've enjoyed growing closer to you and I hope that continues - in whatever capacity makes you feel comfortable and good. Let me know if you can't sleep and you want to play a game?" I had a different game in mind, a game that involved her quivering before me... but I would settle for a video game. Hopefully the other would come soon enough.

"Will do, but to be honest - I'm exhausted. Good night."

"Goodnight," I agreed as she slipped down the hall. I wanted quite badly to follow her to the nursery and tuck her in, to give her that stuffed squirrel to cuddle as I raised the crib bars. To pat her diapered crotch gently, to revel in her vulnerability.

I could only hope those dreams would come true.