Epilogue

We hadn't seen Seth and Jess in what felt like an eternity. The shrink had wanted Vanessa to avoid all contact with people who had enabled her antisocial behavior. She hadn't liked that term - she maintained that she was very social, but that wasn't what it was about.

Vanessa didn't care about rules, not when it came to furthering her goals. She had a hard time empathizing with others in some situations. The doc called it a "not severe" case and cautioned against a formal diagnosis on the grounds that it had the potential to harm her down the line and she was working towards fixing her problems, but it was there.

I was in love with a sociopath. It may have been "not severe", but it was still a hard thing to deal with. It didn't mesh with my mental picture of Vanessa, and it was really hard to separate what had been an act from what had been genuine. I had almost left her three times during those first couple of weeks, but it had been three months since she started treatment and the doctor was pleased with her progress.

It had been hard to give up the ageplay games we had loved so much, that had opened up the pathway between us, that had shown me a deeper love than I had ever known possible - but we had slowly reintroduced them. I had slowly gotten my Mommy back.

Vanessa was still working but it was hard - her illness was part of what made her so good at her job, and creating mental boundaries around when it was okay to set aside her empathy and when it wasn't was very difficult for her. It was difficult for me to watch her struggle - and she did have empathy, she had a lot of it, but she had some serious childhood trauma I had never been aware of.

I was glad I could be there to hold her hand while she worked through it.

Slowly, we had built a new life out of the ashes of that day in Milpitas. My job was going great, I actually ended up easing us through a dry spell that normally would have forced Vanessa to take on non-Analyst jobs, like speaking engagements. We had connected again, first as friends, then as lovers, and when it felt safe, I had gone back to being her Little. It took the three together for our relationship to really feel whole. They bled into each other, and living without a piece of that magical triangle was difficult.

But now the nursery was all back together and I was finally going to have that sleepover with Jess.

We had repaired over the past month, I had really felt betrayed by the fact that she knew about everything that Vanessa had been doing. Putting that aside was hard, but I could see she needed help too. We started going out together, just the two of us. Sometimes we were diapered, sometimes we weren't. We'd go shopping, we'd go clubbing, we'd go hang out at the comic book shop - which was a thing I was really getting into - and she was starting to make entirely new friends as well. We had a few in common, and when the lot of us got together, it was a riot. I worried about Seth, however. He was having a hard time dealing with the fact that Jess wasn't wholly dependent upon him for mental stimulation.

We kicked him out of the apartment twice a month and had a Littles party, just the two of us. I made out like a bandit because Jess was often the one who had to clean up after it.

Next month they were supposed to take me up to this fabled club in the city they had mentioned so many times, which was supposedly opening a room just for Littles to play in. Our lifestyle seemed to be gaining more popularity as people found the joys of being Little.

Even though I had seen both Seth and Jess many times over the past month, tonight was still a little scary. It was the first time all four of us had gotten together with the intention of playing. We had dinners together, but the lifestyle was always off limits as a topic of conversation - we ended up talking about movies, music, games... the things that vanilla friends talked about.

I squeezed Vanessa's hand as she knocked on the door. I had butterflies in my stomach - I was going to be Little all night with my Mommy right there and my best friend to play with - Jess was my Little side's best friend by a mile - as long as she hadn't gotten herself in trouble.

"Well hello," Seth greeted us with a smile. "Go on back to the nursery and get her changed." I was Little, he wasn't going to offer it to me. "Hello Dani-girl," he smiled, patting my head. "Are you going to be a good girl tonight? Cupcake is off to a rough start."

"Mmmph!" the muffled call came from the living room and I peered around the corner to see Jess sitting on the couch, bound tightly in a pink straitjacket.

"Jess!" I whined, "You were supposed to be good so we can play tonight!"

"She failed," Seth shrugged. "Were you a good girl?" he asked her.

She shook her head slowly from side to side.

"I'm really cross with you," I fumed, though I wasn't really mad. Her big pink pacifier was tied in her mouth and her feet were up on the coffee table, her legs spread wide, showing off the thick pink diaper... which was surprisingly dry. I reached into the diaper bag Mommy carried and grabbed my blue paci, popping it in my mouth before climbing onto the couch - but taking it out to talk. "You were supposed to be extra super special good so we could have lots and lots of fun!"

"Mmmph mmm mmmmph!" she protested behind the paci, waggling her head. She wanted me to take it out so she could talk.

Like hell I was getting in trouble for her. Instead, I set into tickling her, my fingers digging into her ribs. And moving toward her armpits. Her eyes widened and Seth laughed behind me. I kept going until she was thrashing like crazy, panting and squealing behind the pacifier... I kept going until she wet herself.

"I'm gonna go get changed like a good girl," I huffed, sticking my tongue out at her. "Into my cute chipmunk PJs!" I walked back over to Vanessa, flinging my arms around her neck. "May I please wear my chipmunk PJs, Mommy?"

She was nervous, anxious. She hadn't been in this environment in a while. Our play at home had been similarly strained at first when we reintroduced it, but I knew she'd find her comfort zone quickly and dive back in.

"Of course, princess," she smiled. "You're such a good girl, unlike some unruly brats that we know."

"I'm trying," Seth shrugged. "But how do you correct a brat who loves her punishment?"

Vanessa led me back to the nursery and stripped my clothes from me, laying me down and removing the diaper that I wore - I was pretty much always diapered on the weekends now, and some weeknights if I knew I didn't have an early meeting to rush off to. I slept mostly in our bed in the master bedroom... except on the weekends, where I was confined to the crib at night. Vanessa balled up my wet diaper and tossed it in Jess' bin before pulling out a thick Little Paws with a booster and taping me in before working my arms and legs into my pajamas, buttoning up the buttons for me and tying my hair into pigtails. She clipped my paci clip to the pajamas and looked at me with concern.

"I'm nervous," she said. She was still sharing all of her negative emotions with me so I could help her stay grounded. They were a lot fiercer after she had dug up so much trauma from her childhood. "What if this triggers all of the things I've been working on?"

"I'm proud of you," I told her, hugging her tightly. "If Seth wants to talk about the things that you've been working on, just tell him that you're not comfortable with that. He's your friend, he loves you. He'll respect your boundaries. If he won't, we'll leave and give him another chance later."

"I love you so much," she said, kissing me softly.

"I love you too, Vanessa."

"I'm ready to be Mommy again," she smiled a warm, genuine smile. Her eyes lit up, though that hint of fear, that touch of sadness was still there. Facing one's demons - especially when you had let them drive for so long - was incredibly hard.

"Well Mommy," I grinned. "Let's go pick on Jess. Where's Buttercup Jolly Hooves?"

"Oh you're going to be a brat tonight then?" she smirked, grabbing Jess' very most favoritiest toy from the crib. "I'm sure she'll let you try out her straitjacket."

"Actually," I laughed softly. "That sounds like a lot of fun. How much trouble do you think I'll have to be in before Seth suggests it?"

"Let's go find out."