Chapter Nine

I stretched as I stood, waiting, in Seth's living room. I had decided to go with a simple style tonight, my hair was down - a few locks braided near my temple to hold some beads, otherwise flowing free. I had chosen a pair of deliciously tight black jeans and sneakers sporting a flaming heart, along with a small t-shirt - Sir Sly, white on black and very form-fitting.

I wondered idly what he would have Jess wear - if she would be padded - but I didn't have to wonder long.

Jess stepped out into the living room timidly, her arms wrapped tightly around one of Seth's as he guided her. She wore a simple one-piece dress, a blue skirt and black top with a few bands around the waist, the short sleeves hanging down over her upper arms elegantly. It was a very mature look, but I could hear the crinkle as she moved. She was still well-diapered under there. No one else would know, it wasn't a thing most people even thought to listen for, but I knew that sound very well. Her hair fell in blonde waves around her face, her makeup was simple but there - more than she usually wore - and she had lovely hoop earrings that went well with her ensemble.

"Is this Jess' older sister?" I teased, crouching down a bit so our eyes were level, "Hello there, you look quite mature - your sister is cute as a button, but she's terrible at potty training. How about you?"

"Nessaaaaa," she whined buring her face in Seth's arm.

"This one's no better," Seth joined in, turning Jess around and lifting her skirt. "Not potty trained at all. She has to be kept in the thickest of diapers, look at these."

"Oh they are cute," I continued as Jess pushed her skirt down, blushing fiercely. The small woman was adorable - Seth was tall and Jess only stood to his shoulder, she came to my nose at least. It wasn't a terribly big surprise that she was a Little.

"I thought I was supposed to be adult tonight," she complained, pouting and defeating her own point. "I thought that was the whole idea?"

"It is," I confirmed. "But you can't blame us for teasing you just a little. Your blush is darling."

Seth laughed and kissed Jess sweetly, pulling her to him and bending down slightly - though she still stood on her toes so he didn't have to bend quite so far. I wondered what it would feel like to have a lover so much smaller than I was - Kailee was as close as I'd come, she was four inches shorter than me. Dani was only two inches or so shorter. Seth seemed to like it, and I wagered that Jess did too given that Littles preferred to feel small, in general.

"You're going to be an adult," I confirmed. "The padding is just a precaution, given that you've been 24/7 for quite a while now. No one will ever know, I won't do anything to embarrass you."

Jess nodded and Seth gave her a small nudge with a hand to the small of her back.

"I love you, Cupcake," he smiled and blew her a kiss.

"I love you too, Daddy," she grinned as we slipped through the door, making a heart-shaped gesture at him with her hands.

* * *

I let Jess pick the restaurant - Seth liked keeping her in the dark whenever they went out. She wouldn't know where they were eating until they got there, it was just part of their dynamic. Honestly, I wondered what she really thought of that... the fact that she had an answer instantly said quite a bit. She wanted Korean - I wasn't a huge fan of the cuisine and I knew for a fact that Seth didn't like it at all, some vendetta against fermented vegetables.

"Thanks for letting me pick," she whispered as she sat down across from me. "I never get to have Korean anymore, it used to be my favorite."

"Of course," I smiled warmly to her, not a condescending smile, but a friendly smile. "When was the last time you went out this way?"

"Gosh," she shrugged as she lay her napkin across her lap, "I don't know - six months?"

"You haven't stepped outside of your dynamic at all in six months?" I asked, genuinely surprised. That wasn't healthy.

"No, that's not true," her smile was easy and comfortable - she wasn't feeling threatened by the question, that was good. "Seth and I have adult time, and sometimes we go hang out with some other people from the club, but I almost never go out without him. I get a break from littlespace pretty regularly."

I decided not to press the issue any further, no sense in potentially ruining our night before it had even begun. She ordered a mild bibimbap, I ordered a spicy one - it was my favorite dish as far as Korean went - the way you could mix the flavors in your own time, paints on the palette of your bowl, it was culinarily entertaining.

"So," she began, unable to take more than a few moments of silence after the waiter took our order. "Will you tell me about your new girlfriend? Her name is Dani, right?"

"Yeah. She's a year or two younger than me. Taller than you - but that's not terribly hard," Jess stuck her tongue out at me for that one, but I continued anyway, "Young professional type, very serious career-woman. She prefers a bohemian style, lots of chunky jewelry and earthy tones, it's nice."

"What makes you think she's a Little? That's why you're trying to catch her eye, right?"

"She's got some subtle tells," I explained, "But what tipped me off initially was her purse - it's shaped like a squirrel."

"Oh em gee," she actually said the letters - I always found that mannerism of hers to be ridiculous, "Yeah, that's a pretty big tell - like, that's her everyday purse that she carries around normally?"

"She was carrying it at a nightclub," I smiled. "So yeah, pretty big. It's adorable... she's adorable." The smile I wore now was an easy one, it came naturally - a rare, true reflection of how I genuinely felt: content and hopeful.

"Is she already in the scene?" Jess asked, lowering her voice as if anyone cared.

"I've never seen her at the club - not that I go very often any more... no, I think she's a vanilla waiting to find her spice and she just doesn't know it. Truth be told, that's what I'm hoping for."

"I hope she is, Nessa. I think doing double dates with you and your Little would be awesome... and playdates. We've gone out to dinner with a couple of the other clubgoers, and I get along great with the other Littles, but you know Daddy. He's so standoffish. He finds something wrong with everyone we hang out with - that guy is too religious, it's creepy. That girl chews with her mouth open - which he hates. That couple can't stop laughing at awkward moments. Et cetera, you know how he is."

"I do at that," I agreed, "Seth likes things the way he likes things."

"I'm glad you're his friend, Nessa. I like you a lot. In a way, you two are really similar. You've both got this calm, in control attitude. And you're both really scary when you're mad... but it's like this quiet mad. Daddy would be less scary if he yelled, I think."

"I'm glad he's my friend, too." I chose not to comment on Seth's temper.

Watching Jess eat was mildly hilarious - her chopsticks technique left a lot to be desired, but her overjoyed expression as she ate her favorite meal showed no self-consciousness. Jess - especially this Jess who sat before me now, who had been with Seth for over two years as his live-in Little - had a childlike glee that most adults didn't have. Seth had seen it in her early on, when she was a burned out restaurant manager... when she was Jessica. Seth had seen that spark in her, that inner child, right away. I had been there when they met, it was a rare client dinner where both of us had the same customer. Imagining that sharp, pinched woman sitting here with me now was impossible - Seth had unlocked her Little self and while I think Jess could have rejoined the workforce if she wanted to, she was much happier this way. She sold some homemade jewelry online, but for the most part her life was strikingly similar to a three year-old's.

When she was done, she politely sat her chopsticks on the edge of the bowl and relaxed in her chair with a look of pure contentment on her face.

"Oh," she groaned happily, "That hit the spot. Thanks Nessa."

"Are you going to be too full to go dancing? When was the last time you even had a drink?"

"I drink," she said defensively, "Daddy says I'm giggly when I drink, so I drink at home sometimes... like once a month."

"Really? That's surprising, considering Seth never drinks."

"He doesn't drink with me... but he'll put something nice in a sip- " she cut off as the waiter came back to collect her bowl, blushing that she almost admitted to drinking from a sippy cup at home.

"Is this on one check or two?" he asked, that eternal question that I had to deal with no matter how affectionate I was being to whatever woman was with me. Despite being in the Bay Area, it seemed unfathomable that a pair of ladies could be, well.. a pair.

"One check," I smiled my polite-professional smile, there was no point in showing that the all-too-common attitude bothered me. The few times a date and I had been correctly identified, I had left a 200% tip.

"Thanks, Nessa," Jess grinned sheepishly. "Anyway, yes - I can still go dancing tonight, no worries."

* * *

"Wow," Jess whispered to me, my arm gently around her waist as I guided her into the club. "There aren't many guys here at all."

"Not on a Tuesday," I smiled - it was, in fact, Ladies' Night at this particular club and I had observed quite some time ago that despite being a prime invitation, guys just didn't seem too common at these. Not that I was complaining, mind you. "Are you hoping to hit on a guy?" I teased.

"No!" she half-gasped, half-grinned. "Just sometimes... it's nice if they try. I haven't done this in a long time."

"Want to know if you've still got it?"

"Not really," she shrugged as we sat down at the bar together, "I honestly can't imagine life the way I lived before. Is that pathetic? I really like just being... Little."

"Is it pathetic to enjoy yourself? No, I don't think so."

"No, that's not what I mean," she pursed her lips as I ordered our drinks - a hard cider for her, one of my favorites that I thought she'd like: a raspberry, and a Jack and Coke for me. "I mean, do you think it's a little pathetic... you know, the way I live? I'm not exactly the postergirl for female empowerment."

"Hey," I said gently, setting my hand on hers. "Feminism is about the freedom from the traditional roles - but it doesn't mean that the sub role is inherently bad. If that role brings you joy, if you're not being oppressed against your will, then who cares if you're not Ms. Career Woman. You lived that life, and it almost ate your soul."

"Yeah," she grimaced her agreement as she sipped the cider. "Oh, this is good."

"I thought you'd like it."

"I just... sometimes I feel guilty, like I should be doing more with my life. I'm giving up a lot, I basically walked away from my career. It's hard to get that back once you throw it away, what if... "

"Are you going to throw away," I interrupted her, squeezing her hand gently, "something that makes you happy right now on the possibility that things might be hard later? It's good to plan ahead, it's good to prepare for potential hard times, but should you deny yourself something that feels right and makes both you and Seth happy so you can fulfill some sort of modern female ideal? I think you're doing the right thing, just where you are. And I say that as Ms. Career Woman. It's okay that you enjoy your relationship and the feelings it gives you."

"You're so damned smart," Jess smirked. "Thanks, Nessa. You're a good friend."

"You are too - now let's have a dance or two before I have to get you home. I won't even tell Seth about the naughty word you just said."

After her blush faded, Jess really opened up when we hit the floor - I wasn't especially big on dancing myself, but she knew how her body moved and she enjoyed it. She was fluid, sensual. She had a sex appeal to her that I couldn't imagine Dani possessing - I certainly didn't have it either. She did end up getting hit on but let him down gently - I wondered what his reaction would be if he knew what was hiding under that skirt. I actually had to move to block someone from grabbing her butt at one point, so she wouldn't be discovered. I gave the guy a fiery, possessive look and he backed off before Jess noticed. She was walking on clouds after the all the attention that night, I didn't want some misguided shame ruining that. She loved that people were flirting with her, she loved that she was wanted.

Everyone wants to feel wanted, after all.