Chapter XLVIII

Hand in hand, Cora led Natalie up to the impressive stairs that approached the door, and she gently banged the ornate angel-shaped knocker. Bang. Bang. Bang. There were sounds from the other side, giggling children, running footsteps, and indiscernible voices. And then the big door was pulled open and a trio of women - although with how they were attired, girl seemed more accurate than woman - peered around from behind the door like sneaking spies.

Etta, Immy, and Frannie. Familiar faces to Cora, but she wondered if Natalie would remember them? Etta had a binkie between her lips, Immy and Frannie didn't, but Frannie did have one hanging from the peter pan collar of her dress.

"Oooh, I wonder who opened the door?" Cora played into it, pretending not to notice the peering faces that were now obviously trying to hide. "Did you see that, darling? The door opened, but whoever could have done that?" There was giggling from the three of them.

I looked at the door with confusion, at the three girls who ducked behind it. They seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite place where... but most importantly, one had a pacifier between her lips. I looked up at Mommy with confusion. Why... what? Huh?

"Boo!" Immy jumped out from behind the door, and giggled, and Frannie tumbled from behind her, waving her hands.

"It was us, Aunnie Cora!"

Etta didn't make such a grand entrance, but she waved, too, and pulled up at the edges of her dress like a nervous child, which only served to show off her diaper.

"Oh, my gosh, I was so scared! You got me!" Cora laughed, and Immy bounced a little.

"Did you bring us presents, Artie Corwa?"

Little Voice? On point. Cora grinned. "Now now, Immy, I know your Mommy told you not to ask rude questions... but yes I did." Eyes had fallen to Natalie, though, as the three of them started to notice her. Her attire. Her binkie. Her shyness.

I stared with wide eyes at the three girls. Three girls... like me. And then I recognized them. The girls from the restaurant, the day I had my accident. I couldn't talk to them then. It was a rule. No talking. But now they were as talkative as ever. And... and children. Like me? I... I... I turned to Mommy for answers. What the hell was going on?!

"Girls, this is Nattie, do you think you could take her to the playroom? She's got gifts for you, see? She's very shy, but she's got the prettiest laugh and smile you've ever known, too." The girls nodded in agreement, and Etta was the one who took a step forward and held out her hand so she could take Natalie by hers. There was something innocent, magical, and sweet.

"Go on, darling," Cora encouraged. "Mommy will be in before long, I just need to let the other parents know that I'm here. Make sure you wait 'til you get to the playroom to give the girls their gifts, though, okay? Do you have them all?"

I looked down at the three bags in my hands and then up at Cora. Parents? So these girls were like me. Normal adults, that had given up their decisions. Right? That had to be it. But how did Cora know them? Then, suddenly, I was pulled away from Cora's side and dragged through the gorgeous house. Through the foyer, down a hallway, and into a massive room with high windows. And the whole room was decorated... strangely. Strange, and at the same time, totally normal.

It was one part acid trip, one part Alice in Wonderland - or maybe two parts of one or the other, if there was even a difference - the furniture was bigger than it ought to be, and all of it was, which made the girls seem scaled to the size of actual children by comparison. The floor had pastel colored foam tiles in places, carpet with town layouts and roads in others, there was a big tub of legos with various projects around it, and other kinds of crafting things. But there was also a playpen, a high chair, a changing table, and most domineeringly... a crib. An adult sized crib.

I stood dumbfounded in the doorway, looking over each of the pieces of furniture and constantly reminded of the carseat in Mommy's sedan. But the three girls got in the way, blocking my vision.

"Can we have our presents now?" one asked, with bright eyes. I looked confused, then shook the confusion away. Right... presents. I handed each of them bags, which they began to exchange so the tags matched the correct girl.

Etta had three pieces of clothing that were too small for any human, brandished with a Build a Bear Workshop logo on the hangers.

Immy got a pair of shoes with velcro straps that light up with each step.

And Frannie got a lego set with a dragon inside. The three of them were so giggly and gossipy that for a second they forgot Natalie was there. And then. Then they remembered, and once they did, Immy took her by one hand and Frannie by the other and the guided tour of the playroom began.

"An' then that's the Lego place, where--"

"Look I built a robot but that's--"

"Nuh uh, see this one. Did you--"

"Uh huh, Mommy bought that when we--"

"Nooo but if you want to, the rocking horse--"

"Where's your plushie? Do you gots--"

It was five entire minutes of listening to them talk. To... to pridefully boast about their giant baby room. And I hadn't said a word. I couldn't even get my bearings. Until Frannie finally stepped in and put out her finger.

"Shush everyone!"

The way she spoke... it sounded different. More... grown up, almost? Then she looked at me.

"You okay, Nattie?"

"....um..... yes....."

"If you need us to be quiet, you can make this hand shape," Frannie held her hands crossed over each other. And then, following. "If you wan' us to stop playing an' be big, you can do this one.” She held up both her hands palm outward. "An' you can say yellow or red for the same things, okay? Want you to have fun, and this can be pretty overwhelming." Frannie didn't sound quite like an adult when she talked about this, but it was clear enough that it was adult topic matter.

"...oh..."

Stop playing? Be big? If I needed them to be quiet? I looked at the other two girls, who waited patiently and quietly. Had Frannie used a hand signal or something? I tried to say something else, but the pacifier between my lips was very unwieldily. I reached up and took it out of my mouth. "I... I guess I'm just confused. I didn't expect..." All this...

"Uhhuh, Mommy told me you were new," Frannie nodded. "This is my house, an' this is my playroom. This is Etta," she pointed, "and Immy," the pointed again, "they're my friends and they're here to play today just like you are, but we've been doing this lots more longer.” Even being serious, Frannie still sounded a bit juvenile. “Um... maybe we could play together, until you feel more um..."

"Balanced." Etta offered, quietly, taking out her binkie and smiling bright enough to melt hearts. "Do you like legos?"

"I... um. I haven't played with them in like... fifteen years?" The girls looked from one another with an ounce of worry. "What...?"

"You're not in Little Space, are you?"

"...I'm sorry, I don't think I understand." Some of this rang a bell. Some of the stuff I googled online after this whole "baby" thing with Mommy started. But I'd never heard the term in the real-world before.

The three of them were quiet for just a moment, an extended moment, and then Frannie asked a question. "What do you usually play with at home? What do you do to feel little?" They'd been told she was new, but she seemed really really new. Maybe this was a "call Mommy in here" moment?

"I... I usually just watch TV? Um... Strawberry Shortcake is my favorite." The girls nodded at each other and Frannie took point again.

"And that makes you feel... um. Warm and tingly? Or like everything is bright and special?"

Bright and special? I thought about it for a minute and nodded my head. "I get butterflies in my tummy... like that?"

"Okay good!" They were getting somewhere, although Etta had quietly went somewhere on her own following this revelation - to one side of the playroom, it seemed, digging around quietly in a toy box. Frannie continued and thought for a second.

"That's what we call um... Little Space, it's when you just have no worries at all and nothing is scary, and your tummy is fluttery and warm and happy, and you can just... switch everything else off and play."

"Oh." Explained like that, it made perfect sense. "Um... well no, I don't feel that way right now, because this is all very new and I'm sort of... uh... processing?"

"That's okay. It takes time. We didn't mean to startle you, we just get carried away."

Talking to the girls like this was actually really relieving. For some reason, I thought they just had the minds of toddlers.

"Some people are jus' real good at other peoples energy so when around giggly littles, they feel little. But like... Etta, she processes things a bit slower 'cuz she only gets to be little a few times a month and stuff." Speaking of the devil, Etta came back over and held out a plush little doll... of Strawberry Shortcake. She smiled behind her binkie and bounced on her heels in anticipation.

"Oh! Uh... thank you..." Etta gave me the doll and I held it in my hands. And... well, it was actually really cute. And then I thought of something else. Something I had been thinking about for a while. "Um. Do you all have a plushie?"

"Uhhuh," Immy answered, and Etta was back in a snap with a rainbow colored bunny dressed in one of the new outfits that she'd gotten today as a gift - a pair of easter themed shortalls - but for the other girls, it was a more verbal answer.

"I have bunches,” Frannie answered, because of course she did - this was her playroom.

"I have a teddy named Wolfie but she couldn't come today 'cuz she's sick," Immy contributed, and Etta said something behind her binkie that somewhat sounded like the words 'Mister Bowbows'. Maybe.

I looked down at the Strawberry Shortcake and puffed out my cheeks a little bit. "So unfair... I don't have even one. Everyone online says they have one, but Momm-- er... I mean, Cora..."

"No, it's okay! You can call her Mommy."

"Uh huh, and you were sounding pretty Little there, so you can just keep chasing those feelings if you wanna."

I looked at the girls with a bit of bewilderment. But I nodded my head and continued my train of thought. "Mommy hasn't gotten me any at all..."

"Your Mommy might want it to be a big moment, something you can remember,” Frannie suggested helpfully.

Immy added, “Even if you have one or a hundred, you always remember your first, so she might have some big plans. Auntie Cora is a big dreamer with a big imagination so I bet she has some big ideas, too."

"Or maybe," Etta suggested, mumbling behind her paci, "she wants you to ask."

"...you think?" All three girls nodded and I bit my lip. I guess I could ask... "Okay. Thank you! It's nice to finally have people that I can talk to about this stuff. I kinda thought I was the only one..." Though in retrospect, that was kind of silly. After all, there's a whole store for people like me, right here in the city! And tons of online communities too.

"Feeling isa'ated is common uhhuh," Immy concurred, and Etta nodded as well. Frannie had a different take on things, but she knew the general narrative was to feel that way.

"Thank you for the gifts and coming to play, too, uhhuh," Frannie shifted the topic.

"Thank you for having me," I said, a little too formally, and the girls started to giggle.

"Come on," Frannie said with a smile. "Come watch us play and when you feel like joining us, you can."

I nodded my head and followed her to the Legos.