Chapter XXXVI

Sam and I were in rocky waters. The "being commanding" thing was as weird for me as it was for her. If I didn't trust Cora so much, I might not have done it. But when Sam reached to get me a sundress from my closet I spoke sternly. "No. The one with the flowers." My co-workers responded well to that one, even if it was a little more childish. After yesterday, with Maple fired, I wanted to make the best impression possible.

"This one?" Sam asked with equal parts annoyance and resignation, holding up a different dress. "It's pretty cute, I think it'll look good on you." To her credit, despite the fact that Natalie had worn this before, that Sam had dressed her in it before, at least Sam seemed to be trying. Even if her words were sour.

"Mmhmm. That one." Sam came over to me and reached for the hem of my nightgown. I held it down in irritation. "I can do it," I said strongly.

"Mrs. Gladstone says its part of my job," Sam countered.

That's when I faltered. Cora's words overruled mine. I bit my lip and looked away. "Fine..." She'd seen the diapers already...

Sam sighed hard enough to empty her entire lungs in one go. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. "I guess this is normal now, huh?" Sam poked the diaper, her tone nothing even close to content or okay with this. But at the same time, she had a sense of... resignation, too. Like she'd accepted that she didn't get a say here.

"Cora says it's good for me," I said shyly, looking at the far wall. I couldn't meet Sam's gaze when I was dressed like this... "Work has been so stressful, and you know about my accidents... sure, it's not ideal. But it means I don't wind up in wet clothes." She had to understand that much, right?

"If you say it's true, it's true." Sam responded, actually sounding a little bit empathetic if anything! Maybe Cora was onto something with this dynamic shift. "Are you gonna get into shit for being late to work today? You slept in a while." Casual conversation.

"Oh." I blinked in surprise and realized the time. Then I remembered what Cora said to me. "No, Cora let me sleep in. If she makes a decision, I can't get in trouble for it." I smiled happily, but Sam looked a little skeptical. "The benefit of being friends with your boss's wife?" I tried.

"Mhm." Sam mumbled. "Does she know you have a crush on her yet? Foot." Sam had finished getting her into the dress and had sat her best friend back down. She was now working on her frilly socks to go with the buckled shoes she'd picked out.

I puffed out my cheeks. "I don't have a crush on her! But..." This conversation was going to end poorly, I just knew it. "But we did talk about... about how I feel. About how she feels. And... uh. Maybe you were right. Maybe I sort of see her like a mom...?"

"Oh yeah, you do, huh? She's gonna be Mom and Mr. Gladstone is going to be Dad?" Sam had said it jokingly, but as she looked up at her best friend with a smile, she didn't see Natalie smirking - she noticed her blushing.

"Is that really so bad? I mean, my mom and I barely talk anymore. After Adam, she just..." I shook my head and kicked my feet. "I've never felt like this, Sam. I've never felt so..." I stole a word from this morning, from Cora. "Important..."

"Yeah? Is that why you've gotten so pushy all of a sudden?" Sam stuck out her tongue. "I don't care, it's whatever, just something to get used to. If you're happy, I guess that means I ought to be happy, too."

"I know it's weird. Like, I feel so weird all the time! Dressing like this? Wearing... these? But it's also like... the happiest I've felt in months. Maybe years? No sneaking around. No hiding in locked offices. I am honest with Cora. I'm honest with myself. And Cora listens, and she fixes it, and... and I... I didn't know anyone could fix it. I thought I was broken..." Tears filled my eyes. I'd never been so emotional with Sam before. I'd never been so honest with her. Cora was rubbing off on me, in a good way.

Sam, for her part, didn't know what to say because it had been a very long time since she'd seen her best friend so vulnerable, so open; it was almost the antithesis of who Natalie was. And here she was.... dressed like, diapered like, and crying as simply and readily as... a baby. "I'll get you some tissues.”

Sam finished dressing me and helped me downstairs, putting a lunchbox in my hand. It had Strawberry Shortcake on the front and I looked at it curiously.

"Another gift from Cora," she told me.

"Oh... alright." It would save me money if I started bringing my lunch to work, actually. Though I would only be working for a few hours today. The car pulled around out front and I waved goodbye to Sam, waddling down the steps and into the back seat.

* * * * *

"Hey Nat!" That chipper voice could only be Prin, and she called out from over the lip of her desk counter. “I love your hair!”

I looked up at her with curiosity, and then I remembered. Cora had dyed it cotton-candy pink the night before. With everything that had happened, that tidbit hardly seemed important. “Thanks,” I said with a smile.

“Mr. Gladstone would like to see you just as soon as you come in, for your 'Morning Briefing', alright?" Morning briefing was an excellently bland name for 'come sit on his lap and get spanked to show you he loves you', really.

Briefing? I felt a chill run up my spine and I looked nervously at Mr. Gladstone's door. Yesterday, he said we would be done with the spankings. He said I'd had enough. But now he wanted to see me again? I felt my eyes fill up with tears as I took shaky steps toward his office. Was this because I was late? Was this because I was taking the afternoon off? Cora said... she said...

"Good morning, Natalie." Mr. Gladstone, as usual, didn't look up from computer. "Are you feeling rested? Your Mommy," thankfully the office door was closed, "let me know that you had a long and stressful night. How are you feeling?"

"F-fine," I said quietly, under my breath. Mr. Gladstone looked up at me and I felt a cold rush across my skin. He was going to lift my dress and spank me again. With a diaper on, it didn't really hurt. But I didn't want him to. I didn't want this... then his voice softened.

"Not to worry, Nattie. You aren't in any trouble."

The warm smile reassured me that he was telling the truth. Then... if I wasn't going to spanked, what was this all about...?

"I wanted to touch base and let you know what I'd expect done today, and to remind you of my offer; if you ever feel as though you've done something to deserve it, I'm willing to help with your discipline. Now, take a seat and let's begin your briefing for the day." All that nervousness, all that fear, all that insecurity... and it was just a literal morning briefing.

I sat in the chair across from Mr. Gladstone's desk and he went into detail about some of the shipping orders that need correcting. Then a few papers that needed filing. The more he spoke, the more it overwhelmed me. I was already two hours late today, and I knew Cora would be picking me up for lunch at one in the afternoon. I swallowed sharply and worked up the courage to interrupt him. "I... uh. W-well, Cora said I was only working half a day today..." Though two hours was more like a quarter-of-a-day. "If you want me to stay, I can!" I offered. "I don't mind. I just... she told me..."

"You'll get everything done that you feel you can handle, and anything left to do will be passed on to Prin. I know you're having some stressful circumstances right now, and your Mommy has kept me abreast of those. But at the very least, you won't need to waste time on bathroom breaks. So I suggest you have Prin make you a coffee and get to work, my dear."

He kept calling Cora Mommy, and every time he did, I slid further down in my chair. But I didn't want to argue. I was already late to work, and I wanted to stay on his good side. Even if I couldn't get in trouble, my relationship with Mr. Gladstone was important to me. "Y-yes sir," I muttered, and hurried out of his office, crinkling with every step. Prin glanced up from the reception desk as I closed the door behind me, letting out a deep sigh.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah... just need some coffee. Would you mind?"

"Not at all, Mrs. Gladstone actually got you a special cup for your coffee, too." Now, Natalie wouldn't know it, not until Prin came in a few minutes later, but the cup was... well. It was an insulated coffee cup for traveling, the sort with a lip spout to prevent spills, not too unusual. But this one was adorned with Strawberry Shortcake in pastel pinks, and had two plastic handles extending one to each side, like a child's sippie cup. It sure was cute, though. "Here you go."

I looked up from my desk at the cup and felt a blush on my cheeks. This childish motif was going a little far, especially at work. But Prin didn't seem to mind. Actually, no one seemed to mind at all. If anything everyone was kinder to me. Sweet. Loving. "Thank you," I said softly, sipped the coffee cup. Then, before Prin could walk out, I stopped her. "Wait. Uh... could I talk to you about something?"

"Sure thing, Nattie, what's up?" Prin was the sweetest girl in the office, really. In-fact except for the time that Natalie had been caught swearing, she'd never even had a bad thing to say to her. She closed the door and came back to Nat's desk.

"...I have a bit of a reputation in the city," I admitted, though I knew Prin was aware of it. Everyone was. "And I have my meetings with Mr. Gladstone. And I dress kind of weird, and I was late today, and..." I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. I was afraid to ask her the question I wanted to ask. But in the end, it was important. For me. I had to know. "...what do you think of me?"

"I think I've never seen someone so eager to change what other people think of her for the better,” Prin answered, without skipping a beat. A moment of pause later, she added onto that. "You're my favorite person here, Nat, and I don't think you dress weird at all. You dress like you, you're proud of your idiosyncrasies. And that's kinda badass."

"It is?" I asked, blinking in surprise.

"Sure! I mean, the cup? So you. And your dresses? And..." Prin blushed a little and looked away. "I mean, you wore a onesie to work this week, Nat. I could never be that confident in myself..."

She noticed that? I was hoping the skirt hid it...

"And then those awful things Mabel was saying to you..."

"Huh...?"

"Well, she was screaming, and I'm just outside your door, so..."

The diapers. Diapers. Oh god, oh fuck. Prin must have noticed the panic on my face.

"Hey, look, I'm not that surprised, and it's not a big deal at all. Like," Prin leaned in close with her voice lowered. "I wear my boyfriend’s boxers to work, " she tugged out the waistband of her skirt to show it, and then continued, "and Janey in Accounts Payable has to own like thirty thongs and that's all she wears. If you wanna wear... y'know, for underwear? That's... it's actually kinda funny, because it's obviously what's gonna go best with your sense of fashion.” Prin laughed, but not meanly, not maliciously, but rather... kindly. Bright and chipper.

I blushed furiously and sunk into my chair. It's not like that! But how was I supposed to explain it to Prin? I couldn't even explain it to myself... and I'd be wearing them for a while, wouldn't I? Prin would notice sooner or later.

"It's an... experiment," I muttered. "Something new I'm trying."

"And is it going well?" she asked. I looked at Prin for a moment, then thought about this morning. No spanking. A half day at work. Dinner with Cora. Laying in bed with her last night. A kiss on the forehead before I fell asleep. Slowly, I nodded my head.

"I think it is..."

"Awesome. That's awesome, Nattie, I'm real proud of you. Did you need anything else? I bet you have a lot to do today, huh? I should let you get to it." Prin thought about her words for a second, and then tilted her head. "Is there a cute nickname you like? Like, in-line with your new self you're putting together? If you think of something, tell me, okay? I'll call you by it."

"A nickname...?" Prin walked out and I sat at my desk, thinking to myself. A nickname... Cora called me darling, sometimes. And Mr. Gladstone would call me sweetheart. But they would both call me Nattie. Actually, even Prin had called me Nattie in the past. I was never big on nicknames, but maybe a nickname would help everything run smoother. Like I was a new person. I'd have to ask Cora...