Chapter XXVII

I closed the office door behind me and nervously looked at Mabel, sitting behind my desk with a bright smile on her face. All of Prin's nice words and all of Mr. Gladstone's kindness couldn't reach me here. It felt like I was drowning at the bottom of a well, and that sickly sweet smile on Mabel's face was staring down at me.

"Good morning," I said as confidently as I could, which was not at all.

Mabel eyed her up and down, entirely baffled at the notion of what she'd chosen to wear to work. She took a deep breath - only to purse her lips and blow it out. "Are you ready for another long day together? Maybe if you're good I'll even let you up from under the desk."

My heart started to race and my stomach felt like it had been tied into knots. I bit my lip and looked at my shoes, black leather with little buckles. Just ignore her, Natalie... "I was thinking we could get you another desk from outside and bring it in here. If you'll be staying a while."

"Oh, hmm..." Mabel thought about that for a moment, and then being exactly who she was, she put a little spin on it. "Well, if you don't fuck with me today, and you do everything I tell you to do, maybe you can earn your own desk. I could use an assistant, after all, but you're gonna have to prove yourself to me first."

I opened my mouth to say something, but anxiety closed my throat. She was so confident. So certain of everything she did, everything she said. And whenever I tried to even speak, I said the wrong thing. Cora promised that if I listened to her, I wouldn't make mistakes anymore! But here I was, making one mistake after another. I couldn't wrap my head around it.

"Um..."

"Close your mouth unless you're offering to suck my toes with it, you airhead." Mabel crossed her arms. "God even just being in the room with you gets my tension all up - I think you're going to start today by giving me a shoulder rub. Then if you're good and ask real nice, I'll let you touch my feet. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Suddenly, the well felt deeper. I felt like the water level was rising, but all I could do was sink. Tears filled my eyes and I wiped them away before I started to cry. When did I get like this? At my old job, I would never let someone talk to me this way! But when you lose everything, when everyone hates you, it's easy to be afraid...

"Y-you can't... um..."

"I can't wait for you to stop talking back? Yeah, that's right. If only you'd stop disappointing me and actually took this seriously, then I might be impressed." Her tone got a little coarser, but she stayed on topic and let out an agitated groan. "Maybe I just need to have you beg more? Would that help, do you think? Maybe I'm just giving you too much free choice."

Mabel stood up and I felt my back touch the office door. Without thinking, I had taken a step back, away from her. My breathing was heavy and shallow and it made my lungs ache. She took two more steps toward me and water filled my tear ducts. I started to tremble.

"Please..."

“Please... can you worship me underneath the desk?" Mabel put her hand on Natalie's chin and directed her gaze upwards, forcing her to look her in the eye. "Is that what you're asking me for? Say it as a sentence, or else we're gonna have a real problem."

I was shaking. Tears dripped down my cheeks and onto her hand. I didn't want to! I wanted her to go away! But if I said no, if I argued, she'd tell Mr. Gladstone some horrible lie. But he had been so nice to me today... would he believe her? Or would he fire me on the spot? Would I lose everything? Would I lose... Cora? I couldn't breathe... I needed her. I didn't want to make this decision... I couldn't handle this responsibility.

"...I n-need... t-to make a phone call..."

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"You need to do what I tell you to do, or else I'll go to Mr. Gladstone and tell him." What would she tell him? Well, that didn't matter, because the threat was credible. The problem was... it didn't seem to do any good, because Natalie was just a whimpering mess, and she needed to be brought back on brand. "I don't want to have to, Natalie, please be good."

Listen to her, Natalie. Do everything she says. Then it's not my fault, right? But I was so scared. So miserable. Cora would fix it. I should have told her the truth this morning. I should have-- then, out of the blue, the phone rang on my desk. I looked at it with wet, scared eyes, then up at Mabel. Should I get that...?

"You know, if you'd been good, your phone would have been answered you know? But now you've wasted so much time arguing with me that you just don't have time to answer it. I wonder if it's important? I wonder what they'll think when you don't answer?"

"Please--"

"It could be Mr. Gladstone," she mused, only inches from my face. "His office manager, not answering her phone this time of day... tsk tsk. If I were him, I'd walk in here right now and kick you out of the building. You're clearly not doing your job."

Every word she said sunk me further and further into oblivion. My resistance dripped out of my eyes, down my cheeks, and onto the carpet at my feet. I felt helpless. Hopeless. Why was I trying anymore? Every action I performed sabotaged my happiness.

"But. I could get the phone. I could tell them that you just stepped out, that you'd been working so hard. For that to happen, though... I'd been someone to beg me to rub my feet so I could feel at ease, though. Tick tock. Ring ring."

The phone stopped ringing and I knew I was through. Mabel won. She could have everything. She could have desk. She could have my office. She could have Mr. Gladstone. As long as I could keep my job, I would do anything she wanted...

"May I please rub--"

Then there was a knock on the door, right behind me. I was so startled, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I tried to wipe my eyes, to rid myself of the tears, but the door swung open and Prin peeked her head in.

"Is everything okay? Your phone rang through to my desk." Prin was observant. She saw Mabel standing with all the confidence of a quarterback, and the tears in Natalie's eyes. And she went fully into Mom-Mode. "Oh Natalie, did something happen?" Quickly, she entered the office, she wrapped her arms around her workmate, and she squeezed her firm and tight. "What happened? Bad news? You're not leaving us, right?"

I buried my face in Prin's shoulder and started to cry. To really cry. Because I had lost all control of my life. Every decision felt insurmountable. Every feeling felt overwhelming. I couldn't do it. I couldn't even explain it... but luckily, Prin wasn't an idiot. She turned to Mabel with irritation.

"What happened? Why is she upset?"

"She's having some trouble at home," Mabel lied as though lying was as easy as breathing. "And the stress of stuff that's been happening at work has been getting to her, so she feels like everything is pointless and she can't do anything." Interestingly, despite Mabel's attempts to make her look bad, this was actually not too far from true!

With a sigh, Prin played with my hair and held me tight in her arms.

"Shh, it's okay darling. You're doing wonderful. Is this about the swear word the other day? Everyone is already over that. Shh, don't worry. We all love you..."

And for some reason, I believed her. Maybe because fighting everything people said was just too hard...

“That is all just water under the bridge. You're loved and welcome here, and nothing anybody says can change that."

Mabel listened to Prin, and leaned against the desk. Nothing, huh? She'd see about that.

It was a long while until Prin let me go, and when she did, my face was red from crying. But no more tears. I sniffled and forced a smile, but Mabel was watching intently. I could see the gears turning in her head.

"Can I use your phone?" I muttered to Prin. "I wanna call Cora..."

"You can use your phone to call Cora, silly girl." Prin smiled like she was talking to a child. "I think she might be busy today, though, I think I saw something in her schedule? Mr. Gladstone is here, though. Do you want me to get him for you?"

I looked at Mabel and then at Prin, shaking my head. "I... um. No, it's okay..." I needed her though. I didn't know what to do, and I was... scared. I was legitimately afraid of being left alone with Mabel. Something about her was insurmountable. "Could you just tell her to call me? Um... it's important..."

"Yup, will do." And Prin left on one final note, pointing at Mabel. "She's fragile today, you be nice to her - we're all family here, and if you want to be here forever, you gotta take care of family." And just like that, Prin was gone. And Natalie was alone. With Mabel.

I looked at the phone on my desk with a nervous stare. If Cora was busy, she couldn't help me. But I didn't know what to do without her. Mabel was the next best thing, and I hated that. If I broke the rules, if I made Mr. Gladstone angry, would I be able to blame it on her? Mabel made me do it. She told me to. I rubbed the tears from my eyes and looked at my feet in contemplation.

“You know I know. I know what you are." Mabel was really sick of this, of having to fight her on everything. She never had to work so hard on someone before. "The childish clothes? The innocent little girl facade? If you don't get your act together, Natalie, I'm going to tell Mr. Gladstone what you're wearing under your dress. Do you really think he'll keep you in the 'family' if you're just a helpless baby?"

I looked at Mabel with surprise. Complete astonishment. Because I just... I didn't expect that. Yeah, she had to know by now that I was wearing a diaper. My skirt yesterday was so short. I was on the floor all day. But to use it against me? I stared at her, maybe misunderstanding. Because it didn't add up. The diaper... the outfit... even my dress today. It was all Cora's decision. Did I really think Mr. Gladstone would keep me in the family? I spoke to Mabel with more certainty than I had since the day we met. "Yes."

"Excuse me?" Yeah, her answer caught Mabel off-guard. "This is some fetish thing, some perverted fucked up thing that you're trying to get away with - if you don't get down under the desk right now, Natalie, I'm going to go tell him."

"Go ahead," I told her. For one, Mr. Gladstone knew I was wearing diapers. He had spanked me only twenty minutes ago! But there was more to it than that. "I don't pick out my clothes - I just do what I'm told." I couldn't be held responsible for the dress or the onesie or the diapers. Not only by Mr. Gladstone, but by anyone. If she told Prin, I'd tell Prin the truth. It wasn't my decision. If she told HR, I would tell them the same thing. I couldn't get in trouble for this. I was safe.

"You just... firstly, you don't just fucking do what you're told, because if you did I wouldn't have to make these threats. And secondly..." Mabel was incensed. "You're aware of how pathetic you are, right? Oh look at me, I'm Natalie, I just do what I'm told, I dress like a doll and wear fucking diapers to work because I'm useless."

Finally, I saw Mabel for what she really was. Just an arrogant jerk grasping at straws. She was trying to upset me. Why? So I would be scared, and so I would listen to her? I didn't have to listen to her. She didn't keep me safe. Cora did. "I'm going to tell Mr. Gladstone, and I'll let him decide what to do." I didn't make decisions, after all.

"You're going to tell him what? That you're a little pervert living out your fetishes at work? Yeah, see how that goes." Mabel, for the first time, didn't sound very in control at all. And she didn't follow when the door was closed, either. Did Natalie really think this would turn out in her favor?!

Mr. Gladstone sat in his office with his laptop open on his desk. He watched on the screen as Natalie left her office. After realizing it was Mabel stirring up all this trouble, he only had to make one well-timed phone call. Prin would go in and check on Natalie. Natalie would realize that obedience is not a gift for everyone, but just those to whom she wanted to gift it. One phone call, and everything was back on track. He closed his laptop and turned to the door, waiting for Nattie to enter and find comfort and confidence in surrender.