Chapter XLIII

I didn't feel well. I sat on the sofa in the front room and put on one of the TV shows I found on that Little list online. But I was struggling to concentrate. Every few minutes, I felt queasy. And the wet diaper wasn't helping: it had grown so thick from only one wetting that I couldn't close my legs all the way. I sent another text to Cora, wondering when she would be home, but I was met with an auto-message. She was driving. I whined and kicked my feet.

Sam would be around, and she could change me. But I hadn’t seen her around. In fact, the only contact I had at all was one of the kitchen staff bringing a plate of fruit and a sippy cup of juice out to the sofa.

Wetting a diaper? Weird. Wearing a wet diaper for an hour? Way weirder. I sent another text to Cora and was hit again with her auto-message. So I went to find Sam. I couldn't sit around in this stupid thing all day!

Sam, as it turned out, was washing Natalie's laundry. Not just what she'd worn, but some new items too: stuff that had come in the mail today, new purchases that needed to be customarily washed before using. And she didn't even notice her best friend sneaking up behind her.

I tugged on Sam's sleeve with a look of mild annoyance. It took me fifteen minutes to find her in this huge house, and I wasn't super happy about it. No matter how many texts I sent to Cora, she didn't reply. She must be stuck in traffic or something.

"Can you help me get changed, please?"

"Help you get changed?" Sam asked, hiding a grin. “Like, you want me to pick you out a new outfit? Sure, I can do that, I'll be up in your room in like a half hour, okay?"

A blush filled my cheeks and I balled my hands at my sides. "Sam you know what I'm talking about! Now come on... I'm not waiting any longer!" Ugh, I wish Cora was home! Cora was so much easier to handle than Sam...

“What do you mean?" Feigned ignorance. Nice! "Oh, your diaper needs changing, it's wet? Or... did you, y'know...? Is that a thing now?" Honestly, the idea turned Sam's stomach, but she was absolutely teasing.

"...what? What are you talking about?" Sam rolled her eyes and walked over to the stairs. I hurried behind her with a distinct waddle. Three sets of stairs - basement to the third floor - was a lot harder in a wet diaper, I had come to realize. And by the time we got to the top, I had to stop to catch my breath. Maybe I could keep some diapers downstairs and get changed in the bathroom...

"Alright, are you home for the night?" This was an important question, too, because Sam had learned there were much thicker diapers for night time. And Cora would have Nattie using stuffers at night too.

"Uh, I think so? It's not like I have anywhere else to go." I thought back to the invitation from Prin. I should have gone out drinking. That's what old Natalie would have done. But without Cora there, and without alcohol, it seemed a little pointless. Plus, I needed someone to change me...

"Alright, up on the bed you get." Sam knew about the new piece of furniture that Cora was planning, but she wasn't going to spill the beans. She gathered the supplies she'd need for the change and hummed to herself. Her best friend was a voluntary baby. How weird.

Sam had changed my diaper only once before, but the novelty had already worn off. It was almost routine now, but for the extra blushing and hiding my face. Soon, she had taped me in a fresh diaper and helped me to my feet. Then she went to the closet to get me some pajamas, though it was only seven in the evening. I shifted from foot to foot awkwardly.

"These feel weird..." But the pattern on the front of the diaper was rainbows - I'd worn this kind before.

"Oh, well, those are your night time ones; Lady Gladstone said, because she said you're a heavy bedwetter." That was a statement she couldn't believe she was saying, but hey, she made good money here and if her best friend wanted to dive into this kinkfest, more power to her.

I blushed and balled my hands at my sides. "I am not! She's lying! And I've worn these ones before, and they didn't feel like this!" I was noticeably upset, but when Sam came back over with a yellow nightgown, I raised my arms without argument. It was long enough to cover my diaper and had a round collar around the neck.

The nightie faded to almost transparency near the bottom, and the faint rainbow of the diaper was clearly very visible thru it, but Sam said nothing. She adjusted it into place and almost coughed from how much scented powder she'd used. "I bet you feel better, huh? You wet that other one a bunch."

I looked away from Sam and crossed my arms over my chest. Then she ruffled my pink hair with a smile. Again, that warm feeling in my stomach started up again. Butterflies... I bit my lip and watched her leave to finish my laundry.

* * * * *

It wasn't even ten minutes later when Cora returned home. She hung up a set of keys by the door and I met her in the foyer, with bright eyes and a gorgeous nightgown. "Welcome home!"

"Oh hello there, darling, don't you look absolutely precious, oh did you pick this nightgown out all on your own? It's one of my favorites of yours." Cora didn't just talk the talk, either, she walked the walk too. She actually picked Natalie up and twirled her around for a brief moment before giving her a big hug.

The hug, being swung around, and then dropped unceremoniously to my feet. It was... so much. A combination of joy, nostalgia, and magic. That warm happiness inside me flared up like a bonfire and I giggled to myself. Then, like she had done it a thousand times, she lifted up the back of my nightgown and pulled out the waistband of my diaper.

"All clean!" she said proudly and kissed me on the forehead. I stood there, frozen in place, lost in the action. Did she... what did... what? After a long ten seconds, I rushed to catch up with her.

"Wh-what was that? Why did you do that?"

"I was checking your diaper, silly girl."

My cheeks went crimson. "I know what you were doing! But I would have asked to be changed if I needed it!"

"Oh come now, it's a mother's treat to be allowed to check her little girl for things like that. You wouldn't take that away from your Mommy now, would you? To be truthful, I was hoping to get to change your diaper when I got home, a little bit of bonding between the two of us, tending to your needs, taking away your icky feelings, but I suppose it can't be helped now, can it darling?" A kiss now, on the forehead.

...the forehead kisses were always so gentle. Serene. Indescribable, truly. And the way she explained it... well, it seemed to make sense. I pouted a little and bit my lip. I didn't want to admit it, but... "I had Sam change me... I was waiting for you, though."

"Oh, I suppose I can't fault you now, can I darling? Maybe if we're lucky, you’ll stop being so fussy and you won't even notice you need to be changed one day, won't that be nice?" And Cora knew those words would sink hard, because the tapes would make sure of it. Not knowing she needed to be changed -> having accidents -> being a good girl -> how can I prove I'm a good girl? -> have accidents -> take things further.

I pouted and blushed a little. I wasn't going to become un-potty trained just by wearing diapers. Right? Maybe I should look into that... but I was ripped out of my thoughts by a tight pain in my stomach. All the sickness and nausea came back tenfold and I suddenly realized why. I really had to use the bathroom!

The little groan, the discomfort, Cora noticed these things - though she pretended she didn't. A distraction was in order, a chance to be a good girl. "Let's watch one of your shows together, darling, I'd love to spend the time with you - just Mommy and Daughter."

"I... r-right... I just..." Another cramp hit and I whimpered uncomfortably. I'd never had to use the toilet like this before. It came on so suddenly, so aggressively. I was already out of breath and the adrenaline was starting to set in. I didn't have time to be coy with Cora. "I gotta use the toilet, just for this one thing, and I promise I'll be in a diaper again right after." Before she could answer, I headed toward the bathroom.

Cora didn't pursue. Truthfully, Cora had a moment of dread and anxiety over this. The bathroom door was locked - one of the maids was cleaning it - and the other bathroom was at the top of the stairs. This was make or break. Cora felt sick, but waited in the foyer. In a moment, Natalie would rush back from the hall and try to make it upstairs.

I pounded and kicked at the bathroom door and another hard cramp overwhelmed me. I saw stars at the edge of my vision and hurried to the stairs. But before I could rush up them, Cora caught me in her arms and held my by the shoulders.

"Shhh, it's okay, shh.."

"No, no.. move! I just... I... I gotta..." I was too embarrassed to say it. I never talked about this kind of thing with anybody! I didn't even like talking about it with my doctor! But Cora didn't move.

Play it cool, Cora, you cannot blow this. Trust in the work you've done, believe in the changes you've wrought, and the benefits you've brought to this girl. Be honest with her? No. Maybe. Who knows? Appeal to her? Yes. Maybe.

"Mommy is here, baby girl, and she's not going to force you to do anything, but..." But? "You know I love you, no matter what, darling. And you trust me, don't you?"

I looked at Cora blankly. Like she was crazy. Like she was talking gibberish. And then I realized why. She knew. She knew what I had to do. My cheeks went red with embarrassment and I looked away from her. "I need to go... move..."

Cora paused, considered, thought; she'd let Sophie have the agency to go, and she'd gone. She'd left. It was too much for her. So... she was gentle, but not dismissive. "You're my little girl, darling, and this is what little girls do. I've always put my trust in you, and you've always put yours in me. So... I'm going to make this decision for you, like I do with every other decision. And it's going to take you down a path to happiness, and you just need to trust me now. Do you trust me?"

...no. No, she couldn't possibly... I looked at her with bewilderment and then shook my head in a panic. She couldn't mean... "No, no, no... please please... please Cora, please Mommy... please lemme use the bathroom, please, please..." I couldn't do this in my diaper. I couldn't. Tears started to drip down my cheeks.

"You have to want this, darling. You can't just have it be an accident. You need to trust me and you need to want this, or everything we've done so far might be in danger. I'm your Mommy, and I love you so very much, and we've been through so much and I've always kept you safe. This decision, you have to surrender it to me, and I want for you to do this. Be my baby girl. My little princess. Mommy's Girl."

Another cramp rang through me like the echoes of a bell. From my stomach, through my spine, to my feet. My knees nearly buckled as I fell into Cora, but she held me upright. She always kept me safe... she would make the right decision. So I looked at her blurry form through my teary eyes and nodded my head. She wouldn't make me... she wouldn't... "Please," I muttered, a final plea. "Please......."

"You'll be mine, darling, mine forever and safe, safe from anyone who'd ever hurt you, safe from ever losing me, us, your family. Cut your ties with every mistake you've ever made, and give this up to me. Volunteer it. And let go, use your diaper, baby, the first time of many, until one day you don't even realize. You're mine, Nattie, my little girl. My pride and joy. Show me you need me." Cora would have cried, if right now didn't demand she be so focused and on point.

She said no. In more words, but the sentiment was the same. Mommy said no, and Mommy knows best. I looked at her with fear in my eyes, but she kissed me on the forehead and held me tight against her body. When the next cramp came, I didn't fight it. I bent over in Mommy's arms and pushed. My stomach tightened and strained, pushing more and more of the mess into the seat of my diaper. The weight of the diaper felt heavier and heavier on my hips as it filled, and my bladder gave way to a flood of warmth. And as the cramps subsided, as the last of my mess squished against my bare bottom, a strong smell of shame filled the air. I clung tight to Mommy's top and sobbed loudly into it.

Cora wasn't a strong woman, not much bigger than Nattie herself, but the pride she felt in that moment gave her the strength she needed to pick Natalie up and cradle her in her arms, her hands underneath her freshly soiled diaper as she guided the girls head to her shoulders. She hadn't ran. She hadn't refused. Acceptance? Maybe too early to tell, but this was a brave new frontier for her and Ando, as new as it was for Natalie even, and she had only a few choice words. "There's no going back now, darling. You're my good girl, now and forever."