Chapter Twenty-Seven:

The dress was Jackie's - I didn't have anything with me that I was comfortable wearing to the pier. It was too long, but it did a great job covering up the diaper underneath. I never thought I would be used to this feeling: walking around in a diaper in public. I took a bite of my cotton candy and looked down at Jackie's hand in mine. It didn't feel childish or silly. I didn't feel like I was holding Betsy's hand in the store. I felt like... like I was on a date. I sighed and smiled. What a nice thought.

"Okay. I've been avoiding this question all day. But I want to ask."

"And what is it you want to ask?"

When she looked up at me, I smiled back in kind and used my thumb to wipe away the crusted remains of cotton candy from the corner of her lip. A simple gesture, a simple moment shared between two adults that just so happened to resemble something more like what a parent would do for her child.

I pouted at the childish gesture. Did she have to do that all the time?

"Okay, um. Well, I know you like this stuff. The baby stuff and diapers and..." I shrugged my shoulders and watched my feet as we walked. "Anyway, what I'm saying is, I don't really mind it. It's part of my job. And if you like it, I want to understand why. I want to... uh... learn what's the right thing to do. To make you... um." Jeeze. "Enjoy it."

How freaking cute! She was squeezing into my hand as we spoke, and I didn't want to disrupt the rhythm of our flow, so I didn't stop us as we were walking. I smiled at her and tried to keep everything casual.

"That's a very good question, Leona." I liked calling her by her name. Luvs was so impersonal. "And it would be easy for me to say 'well just do what you're doing' which would be entirely true. But I bet that's not a very useful answer now, is it?"

"Ah, not really."

I mean, I saw the appeal. My work days were four hours long at most. Sometimes I didn't work more than once or twice a week. I had enough money to pay for rent and food and clothes. And all I had to do was let go of my pride and adulthood. I just had to relax and let everything come naturally. It had a freeing feeling. It was definitely interesting. But sexy? I didn't see it. But Jackie did. And I liked Jackie...

"I mean, if I had a weird fetish or something, I guess I'd want you to understand it. So I'm trying to understand yours."

While she talked and justified, I wondered if this was just... her process. If this was how she was coming to terms with herself, by using me as a proxy. Was the girl who messed her diaper to show-up another little that she was the best at what she did still having trouble putting her own pieces together? Either way, I didn't mind helping.

"I think your purity is sexy. I think you not cursing, and getting chastised if you do... that's sexy. I think you padding around the house in a diaper and a cute little tee and no pants, I think that's sexy. I think when you're coy and ask for something you want, knowing you'll get it if you just act babyish enough, I think that's sexy..." I'd decided to start vague here and not to push into very specific elements all at once.

"I swear."

"Not recently."

I thought about it. A the beginning of the week, as long as I was off-set, I swore all the time. But now that babyhood had become a full time gig and six whole days had passed, my cursing had really diminished. I sulked; I didn't like to think this week was changing me...

"Well, fuck," I said, almost as a protest to the process.

"Leona Addison Whittaker, you will not use words like that! Especially not in public, or you'll be in big trouble."

I didn't know her middle name, so I just made something up on the spot for the audio impact of the scolding - truth was, for as new as she was to this, I was just as new to my side of things. We were both approaching something new from either side and meeting in the middle.

...well, that shut me up. I looked up at her with burning red cheeks and turned my head back to my feet in a huff.

"That's not my middle name," I muttered. But I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. Like when your mom scolds you. Ugh, Jackie's not my mom! I held her hand tighter. "It's Marie."

"You know, my head went to Marie at first, but then I thought 'there's no way someone saying such icky words could have such a cute middle name.’" Yes, I turned that around on her. And she slinked into my hip and squeezed in close in response. "So if you wanna have such a pretty name, you're just going to have to keep your words sweet and soft too. Right, Leona Marie?"

"Sure," I muttered, begrudgingly. It didn't make any sense. Marie was my middle name no matter what she said! But for some reason, I wanted to swear a lot less. I put my head against Jackie's shoulder and smiled. Today was... it was pretty great so far.

"Let's go on the ferris wheel, okay?"

"That sounds wonderful."

The line was short, and we seated into one of the colorful gondolas - ours was baby blue on the roof and didn't squeak even a little bit as we lurched skyward. Just smooth and soft and relaxing.

"I haven't been on a Ferris Wheel in years..." She was clinging to me so tightly though.

"Yeah, I don't remember them being this high up..."

We were both sitting on one side and the gondola tilted awkwardly. I slid away from Jackie onto the other seat to balance out the car. I couldn't cuddle up to her, but at least we weren't tilting anymore. I kept my hand in hers.

"I gotta pee," I muttered. I knew I had to even before we got on the ferris wheel, but I didn't think there was any point saying something. Diapers were so normal now...

"Oh, you do?" I didn't do anything obvious, I didn't make a scene of it, but up here and on the ferris wheel on our own, I coyly reached my foot across and slid up the hem of her dress enough that I could see her diaper when I pushed her knees apart.

"It's a good thing you came prepared, right? It's a good thing that you're ready to show Mommy what a cute little girl you are." I tried not to sound like that cuntly woman, but it was hard not to pick up some influence from Betsy.

Mommy? I looked at Jackie in surprise and pushed her foot away, shoving the dress between my legs with a blush on my cheeks.

"That wasn't an invitation!" But the way Jackie smiled at me - it wasn't like Betsy. It wasn't mean or malicious. It was like... like she was having fun. I shied into my seat and shifted on my padded butt.

"...you uh... want me to?" Ugh, this was so stupid!

"Yes," I told her simply, and then softened the yes even further with some fluff. "If you want to. I enjoy what you do. I enjoy saying and doing things that make you blush, and I love dressing you up pretty. But none of that changes the fact that you get the final say. Any time you listen to me is your choice, and nobody is ever allowed to take that away." I gently nudged her dress again, this time by leaning forward and using my hand.

"It's the same if you want to call me Jackie, or Auntie, or Mommy. That's your choice."

"I really don't see how this is sexy," I sighed. "It's the least sexy thing I've ever done."

But as Jackie touched my bare knee and slid her hand up my thigh, I felt a tingle in my stomach. Her fingers pressed against the soft padding between my legs and her other hand reached around to pull me in by the neck. Our lips touched. Soft. Warm. The ferris wheel stopped when we were at the apex. My tummy was full of butterflies.

I didn't need her to understand why I thought this was sexy, I just wanted for her to understand that this was sexy, objectively. My fingers on her diaper, my lips on her lips, my free hand playing at her hair, and the two of us so alone that each others’ heartbeats were all the backing track we needed.

I could have held it. I totally could have. But with the constant barrage of kisses... with the way her fingers played under my dress... I felt sexy and desirable. I wanted her to feel the same. I wanted to make her warm and full of butterflies. I wanted to make her panties wet. So I did the only thing a little girl could do: I wet my own. The warmth spread around the crotch of my diaper. Expanded. Filled. She could feel the heat through the plastic without a doubt. Pissing myself had become so easy now, I should have been concerned. But in that moment, I couldn't think of anything but Jackie's lips.

It could have lasted forever and that still wouldn't have been enough. The fact that I'd never found the idea of a girl wetting herself to be at all attractive before wasn't even a factor in my brain; I was as warm and wet-in-my-own-adult-way as she was by the time we were finished kissing at the top of the ferris wheel. My fingertips remembered the feel of her diaper pressing back against them, growing warm, growing thick, soft. Magical. My cheeks flushed in a way I always saw on her but never imagined on me - two girls, kissing in a ferris wheel, wet in two very different ways. My heart had been racing, and I didn't know if it would ever stop. "Leona Whittaker, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met."

It was one of the best dates I'd ever had. I had dated girls before. I had dated guys. But I never dated anyone like Jackie. I never dated someone into this diaper scene. And I thought it would be the worst thing in the world, honestly. I never wanted my work life and my private life to overlap. But Jackie... she was special. If it was for her, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.