Chapter Four:

I'd never been so bored in my entire life. I kicked my feet and smiled for the camera and stacked blocks, but it had been hours and not even the camera crew was all that enthusiastic anymore. My diaper had grown cold and uncomfortable and I kept tugging at it and pouting up at the glass lenses beaming down at me. Betsy was talking a lot with Abe and coming on set to check my diaper every now and then. I was wet! Why wasn't she changing me?! Then lunchtime rolled around and I watched half the crew members unwrap sandwiches. Oh, jeeze, I was hungry...

"How're you liking it so far, L...uvs?" I almost called her Leona, which Abe had made quite clear would be "the last time I said an L word that wasn't 'lost my job'," whatever that was supposed to mean... I swear that man had only the most basic and rudimentary grasp of the English language. Anyway, I'd even waited until the cameras were off her! Luvs was such a silly name - might as well have named her Huggies, or Pampers. Maybe that was the point.

"I'm bored," I said honestly, still in character, with my babyish lisp and a pout on my cheeks. "I dun wan' pway blocks no more. I wan' get changed..." That almost seemed like a pipe dream at this point. Three hours ago, I pissed myself on that woman's lap. She knew I was wet! She was doing this on purpose - I just didn't know why.

"Well, that's for your Mommy to decide on, isn't it?" At first, I found it awkward when she spoke like that. Then something clicked, and I just started talking to her the way I'd speak to my young niece on the days she'd come to visit for the holidays. "How about you try out the legos, instead? I bet you could make something cool, like..." Shit, think Jackie, think... "How about a camera? Then you can be like Auntie Jackie?" Auntie Jackie. Great.

Auntie Jackie... I looked up at her in awe and then down at my frilly pink socks. This time, when the blush washed over my cheeks, it wasn't make-believe. I couldn't help it.

"Um... otay..." I crawled on the floor away from the blocks, away from Jackie, and went over to the Legos. But these Legos were meant for babies, not grown ups, and they were way too big to make a camera. So I tried making a house instead. When was I getting changed? When was I getting lunch? Being a baby sure was a pain in the ass.

"Are you just going to leave her like that? She's going to get a rash you know." I didn't like to talk out of turn, but Betsy and Abe were both eating lunch and it was like they were completely oblivious to everything.

"Now you listen here, Jackie, you listen to me, when I was a baby I'd go hours before getting my ass changed, and I was just fine with that, Jackie, just fine." Says the man waving around his sandwich like it was a learning tool.

"Hunnybear, don't you worry. You let me be the Mommy, and you be the little picture fairy, alright? Does that sound good?"

"Don't patronize me, I'm just worried."

“The tale we tell is in the picture we paint, and a baby wouldn't always be changed so soon now, would she? By weeks end, I imagine she won't even realize she's wet at all."

"Uh..." Was she high? I took a sandwich off the catering plate and left that mess to handle itself. Where did Abe even find her?

I hadn't left the set yet, but I knew it was an inevitability. The cameras didn't care about boundaries this week: they'd film wherever I went. So when I got up and toddled over to the lunch table against the back wall, a camera followed me. Just because I was a baby didn't mean I had to be a good one, did it? I grabbed the whole tray of sandwiches off the table and plopped down on my wet behind, shoving bite after messy bite into my mouth like any toddler would. Crumbs rained down on my sparkly t-shirt and I got mustard and cream cheese all over my face.

"Baby Luvs!"

Betsy scolded, but she didn't shout - her words just seemed potent enough as they stood, like she had some kind of magic to them. Honestly, they shook me, at times.

"Bad girl." Betsy picked her up, literally picked her up, and sat her down on the edge of the table, out of reach of the platter she'd taken. And then it began. "Oh look at you, poppet, look at the mess you've made, I suppose girls your age can't help it can they?" Every word was like a weapon, every physical gesture a shot fired. She turned cleaning the girl’s face with a washcloth into something diminishing, and what she did next was even more deadly to any lingering adulthood. "How's your diaper, Baby Luvs? Oh, I shouldn't even ask, should I, you wouldn't know." The woman’s finger ran up the smaller girl’s thigh, slipping into the leg hole of her diaper with the camera watching all the while. "Oh darling me, you're soaked. I suppose potty training is never going to be on the horizon for Baby Luvs, is it now?"

Sure, I wore diapers. Sure, I pretended I was a baby girl for some website. But nobody talked to me like that. Never. Even on set, even when I was dressed up, even when I was babbling like a child. People had respect! And she... she... I balled my hands into fists and looked up her with frustration. Character, Leona... stay in character...

"I wan' be changed. Now."

"She has trouble sometimes, you see?" Betsy addressed the camera, smiling, her tone soft and soothing, but her words cutting like a knife. "She knows please and thank you, she knows her magic words, but sometimes she forgets them, don't you Baby Luvs? It's not surprising, really, she is just a baby, after all." And there would be consequences for that. The taller woman kept her composure, took the model by the hand, and led her back over to the chair where hours ago she'd been made to wet herself. This time, it wasn't about cuddles. Oh no, this time, Baby Luvs was about to be spanked, on camera, until she cried, in front of all her fans, in a sodden wet diaper.

She held onto my wrist and dragged me behind her all the way back to the set. I struggled to try to pull out of her grip, but she wouldn't let go. Why was she being so rude to me?! She didn't have any right! I knew it was all for this stupid movie, but it wasn't any less embarrassing! Stay in character, I reminded myself.

"Lemme go! Lemme go!"

"Oh, little one, you know by now this hurts Mommy more than it hurts you, don't you?"

I watched in rapt fascination, and abject terror, as an adult girl in a wet diaper that I may or may not have been having perverse thoughts about, was pulled in one smooth motion over Betsy's lap. I snapped picture after picture, not even for Abe, for me, of the expressions on Leona's face, too: fight or flight, anger, fear, and then, realization.

"After all, this isn't the first time Mommy has had to spank you, is it, Baby Luvs?"

I'd never been there for an adult being spanked. Or one in a diaper. Or a wet diaper. It couldn't have hurt, not with how thick the padding was, but the look on her face was... something else.

"No, wait!" My voice. Leona's voice. Not Baby Luvs. Not childish or helpless. An adult. She made me break character. But before anyone would even notice the difference, her hand came down hard on my diapered backside. I winced and shook my head, burying my face into her leg. This wasn't part of the deal... I didn't say anybody could spank me! But if I stopped now, if I ruined this moment on the camera... I'd already screwed up. I couldn't do it again. So I let Baby Luvs take over again. A scared little girl. And I was pretty damn scared...

"Mommy, no, please! Mommy..."

"I know you didn't mean it, Baby Luvs, but this is for your own good; I can't have my little princess having temper tantrums for her fans now, can I?"

Smack. Smack. Smack. The sound was unique, it made me squirm every time, and the look on her face, the righteous indignation, the diminishing feelings of adulthood, her flailing... would she cry? God, why did I want her to cry? I just did. I wanted her to cry like a baby, I wanted to see her wailing. I was so messed up.

"We never usually give her more than ten, because she can't count any higher than that, so let's go to ten."

A fifth smack made it five. Her eyes started to look far off. My thighs tightened. She was so attractive...

The spankings didn't hurt, not at all. But each smack brought with it the feeling of cold, wet padding and a loud slapping sound ringing through the air. I couldn't forget the circumstances: my wet ass in the air, being spanked like a little girl. And my eyes started to water. Ten. I didn't count, but Betsy pulled me to my feet and brushed my hair out of my face. Tears dripped down my cheeks. I felt so... small...

"Kiss Mommy's hand better, darling."

Nurse Betsy held up her hand for the girl in tears, how arrogant, how presumptuous, how humiliating! Leona was going to chew her apart for that, I knew she would... only she didn't. She just did what she was told. Meekly. And in reward, Betsy wrapped her up in her arms as tight as could be.

"Baby Luvs, you're a little girl, you're a baby, you're never going to grow up and that's okay, but you must be good for Mommy. You have to be a good influence for all your fans." She'd turned her around to face the camera, so everybody could see her teary eyes. "Fans out there might want to be babies themselves, like you, and you have to be an example for them. Apologize for throwing a tantrum, alright? Show everybody what a good girl you are, and don't forget to curtsey. You're just a little girl, after all, doesn't that sound like the truth?"

I nodded my head quietly and rubbed the water from my eyes with the back of my hand. "Sowwy fo' bein' bad girl... I'll be good now..." I curtsied - which I did quite poorly, before looking down at my socks. Tears still dripped down my cheeks, no matter how many times I wiped them away. And there was only one thing I could think about...

"Mommy... pwease I get changed...? Wan' be dry..."

"I think you're ready for a change, ma jolie pêche~"

It would, after all, be a momentous occasion, and Abe had wanted to wait to get a second camera ready for the filming of it. This was new territory and all, because nobody had ever seen Baby Luvs in such a compromising position, and though it was going to happen many times this week, the portly man was going to use footage from today as a promo reel to go up on the site tonight. He was grinning, rubbing his hands together almost as eagerly as I was rubbing my thighs together. Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with me...