Chapter Seventeen:

There was a chime that echoed through the room, like somebody had their phone volume turned up, and then the sound of something winding down - like a generator turning off, or something dramatic like that. In reality, it was just the sound of silence; the speakers that had been playing a soft, barely audible lullaby theme the entire time came to a quiet. And then there was something else new: Sparkles talking in an entirely different register, an adult voice, like she was possessed by some ancient Pharaoh of adulthood or something. "Oh my gosh, I thought break time would never come." She climbed up to her feet and arched her back, stretching left and right.

I looked up at Sprinkles as she stood up on her feet, stretching as high up as she could. I just sat there, looking dumbfounded, dressed in glitter and fairy wings and my pink babydoll dress Betsy had put me in that morning.

"Break time?" Then I noticed my camera guy had taken his leave. The room was weirdly quiet and lonely.

"Break time," Sprinkles repeated herself, then went to one of the toy chests against the wall. This one didn't seem to be an actual toy chest, though. She pulled a can of soda out of a concealed refrigerator and a little log of cookie dough.

"Help yourself, sweetiehunny, you're super cute." She plopped her crinkly butt down on one of the adjacent padded chests and took a bite from the cookie dough. It seemed, despite her dropping her little girl voice, she was still pretty damn childish.

"...oh. Okay." I don't know why I was surprised. Maybe because, for the past three days, the only "breaks" I got were when I could sneak away from the cameras. I had to steal breaks. And she just... got them. I took a soda out of the fridge and popped the top. A drink not in a baby bottle. Weird...

"Your Mommy won't be back until this afternoon, but um, I think your other camera person is coming by soon? That’s what my Mommy said." She sipped her soda and kicked her feet against the dark pine of the chest she was sitting on. "D'you like my nursery? I'd love to come and see yours some day."

"Oh. Yeah. I mean, my studio isn't really this... uh... thematic." The best word I had for "babyish" without being offensive. Then again, with the crib, the changing table, and now the rocking chair, I sure was getting there.

"I guess your... uh... Mommy knows Betsy, then? Do they work for the same agency?"

"Agency?" She tilted her head to the side curiously, then shook it, taking a bite of the cookie dough to eat while she thought further on that question. Chew chew chew. "Um, nuhuh. Mommy is my wife, ackshually, and Betsy is one of her friends from college." Even in her adult range, Sprinkles still spoke with an uneven and childish gait to her inflections, spiking up and down at odd times and seemingly at random, though there was nothing about her left to chance.

...her... wife? I stared, mouth open, bewildered, and I was anything but subtle. Wife... married? She was married to that lady? She threatened to spank her if she didn't come say hello to me! You can't marry someone who says that to you! She watched me with her curious eyes and smiled.

"You're not little, are ya?"

"I'm... um... twenty?"

"Riiight buuuuut." Sprinkles used her teeth to pull the plastic down to reveal a little more of the absolutely unhealthy snack. "You’re not a little, are ya?" Her feet kicked against the wooden chest and she looked up at a clock that was positioned on the wall beneath the camera out of view, checking for the time - she only got breaks fifteen minutes at a time, after all.

I... I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to answer her question. This whole documentary was supposed to be about showing the world what a true adult baby Luvs was. But I wasn't one, right? What was I supposed to tell this girl? But before I had a chance, Jackie walked into the room with her camera poised in her hands and stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes went wide, looking over the playroom. Saved by the camera girl...

"Holy shit." It was like walking into another world, like I'd stumbled down the rabbit hole and straight into Wonderland without even the mercy of a hallucinogenic drink to help me along the way.

"You're not supposed to swear!" Sprinkles put one finger up to her lips dramatically and turned to Leona, puffing out her cheeks. "You gotta tell your wifey not to swear okay?"

Wifey? What? I. What. Who. "Oh we're not..." Jesus, was I blushing?"

"She's just the camera lady," I said with an ounce of frustration. Jackie - a little crestfallen - introduced herself to Sprinkles.

"I'm Jessie," the giant babygirl said back to her. "I go by Sprinkles online though."

They shook hands, like this was a business meeting or something... I swear.

"Yeah, wow. Abe told me you were shooting off base today, but he didn't mention any of this." He didn't mention the life sized dollhouse interior, or that there'd be someone else here, or that she'd be so stinking cute! "It's nice to meet you, Jessie, I love your hair - you must work your butt off to get it to stay so vibrant?" She grinned, beamed like sunlight, and shook her head side to side.

"Mommy just says it’s because I have a bright personality."

I bit my lip and ran my fingers through the tips of my hair. Blonde, short, layered... pretty boring next to Jessie's long pastel pink curls. I pouted.

I looked around - changing table, toys, puzzle tile floor, dolls and plushies everywhere and... cameras? Oh shoot... "Are those cameras on?" That was going to complicate things, the cameras looked like they could see everything. "Where am I supposed to take pictures from..."

Jessie shrugged at Jackie's question and took another bite of cookie dough. "You can be on the cameras if you wanna. You're pretty so I bet Mommy will let you. An' I'm wet so if you wanna change me--"

"She's not doing that!" I cut her off, frustrated with Jessie's forward attitude. "She just takes pictures."

Was that... possessiveness in her voice? I looked at Leona with a hint of a smile on my lips and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, Jessie, I'm not really the camera type. I take pictures, I don't really do... this." I waved my hands to either side.

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Oh, because it's not really my thing sweetie." I couldn't help but talk to her like a child. "The whole... thing, you know? People might see the footage."

"So?"

"Well I wouldn't want people to see..."

"Why?"

Wow, she was frustrating. Leona looked in rapt attention though, like my answer mattered to her, too. "Because I'm not into this."

She puffed out her cheeks and waved her cookie dough around, looking at Leona. "Why'd you get married to a girl who doesn’t think yer adorable?"

"Excuse me, hey, wait, listen, I do think she's adorable!"

"But this isn’t your thing?"

"Right!"

"Cause you think its icky."

What? "What? No, no I didn't say that." I was getting so flustered.

"We aren't married," I said sourly, because clearly Jessie had trouble hearing or something. "We met like, a week ago."

"Ohhhh, were you dressed like a little girl?"

Uh... I had to think back to it. "The first time we met, yeah..."

"An' you thought she's adorable?"

"Of course," Jackie said simply.

"Well, sounds like you're into it," Jessie told Jackie very simply. "And you're not."

She pointed her cookie dough stick at me and I stared dumbfounded. I... what?

"Mhm mhm, is just dress-ups for you, 'cause you dun’ act like a little at all. But Jackie likes it bunches, that’s what I think." There was a chime from the clock on the wall, and Sprinkles pouted and flared her cheeks. "Break time’s almost over." She sighed like a deflating balloon.

"Hey listen, Jessie, you've got it backwards. I'm just a photographer, it's just the same as taking pictures of chairs, really. But Leona is really into this, it's her life, and she's a great little girl. I took her out for pizza, and she was in her diaper, and it was really cute, she's super adorable."

"So you took her on a date?"

Jackie and I both blushed and looked away from each other. Jessie rolled her eyes and put the cookie dough back in the fridge, then hollered for her Mommy. Seconds later, Kate poked her head in to check up on us.

When Kate came in, I thought it was the best time to leave. Jessie had me all flustered, and I had to talk to ask Betsy about my job. I looked back at the two adults, dressed like little girls, and hoped I would have the chance to take some beautiful photos today.

"Mommy listen!" Kate had come in with a rack of lovely crafted outfits, frills and lace, ruffles and rompers; like a victorian infant's wardrobe had been scaled up to adult sizes. "Jackie is really pretty an' she should be on cam wif' Baby Luvs too."

"And how does Jackie feel about this?"

"She says she dun' wanna."

"Well honey, that's not our business to decide for her, is it?"

"But Mommyyyyyy, she’s," she looked left and right and leaned in to whisper loudly, as though Leona wasn't right there, "she's in love with Baby Luvs."

My cheeks went crimson. "She is not!"

Kate sighed and shook her head, looking back at the rack. "Any preferences for an outfit, little Baby Luvs? We're live again in a few minutes." Not "would you like to dress up", just "what would you prefer to wear?"

I looked at my bare feet and shook my head. I didn't want to dress up! I didn't want to be in this weird studio with these weird people! Why didn't I get a say in this, anyway? But with the way Abe talked down to me last time... I bit my lip shyly. Every day, I felt like people were treating me more and more like a real baby...

"I was hoping to get to do two changes on camera when we go live, you know," Kate was pulling Leona's hair into bunches as she talked. "I was going to lay you both down next to each other on the floor, but you're dry still Baby Luvs."

"That’s cause she’s not a baby, Mommy."

"Don't be sassy to your new friend, Sprinkles darling."

"Is the tru—"

Her words were muddled by her Mommy reaching back and popping a binky between her lips. "If Baby Luvs wants to be less of a baby than you are, honey, that's up to her."

It baffled me that those two were married. How do you treat your wife like a baby? How do you let your wife treat you like a baby? It was crazy... What did they know, anyway? So what if I wasn't a... a little or a baby or whatever she said? I belonged on camera. I was good at it! Better than her! I'd prove it.