Chapter Ten:

Everyone looked at me. Abe smiled brightly. Jackie's mouth hung open. And my cheeks turned crimson. No, I was not! This was too much! I shoved Betsy out of the way and went over to Abe with burning anger. This was NOT our deal! And I was NOT doing something like that! I'd just pissed myself for the first time yesterday! Absolutely not! But even when I tugged at the pacifier, it wouldn't leave my lips.

"Think of the money, Baby Luvs, think of all the money in the world." Abe rubbed his hands together, and before much response could be made, Betsy collected her wayward charge and carried her back into the middle of the set.

"As you can see, Baby Luvs is quite shy about this - she's worried that maybe her fans will think less of her if they knew what a complete, total, and absolute baby she truly is.”

The way that Betsy emphasized those last few words... well... it made my heart race.

I shoved Betsy off me again, but this time she was prepared. She held my wrists and pushed them tight against my sides. I looked up at her nervously and shook my head over and over. She couldn't do this! I wasn't doing it! I wasn't a baby! It was just acting! Didn't she understand that?!

As though the struggle meant nothing to her, Betsy continued to monologue like a super-villain, undistracted, firmly resolved, and elegantly sexy in everything she said.

"This won't be the first time she's done this, of course, Baby Luvs has always been a proper little baby girl, and proper little baby girls do this often without even thinking about it." With a firm grip still, Betsy positioned the struggling wriggler onto her lap and gently started to bounce her on her knee.

"Before she did it the first time, Baby Luvs thought she might have been any other grown up, but once she pushed her first stinky mess into her pretty padding, well... nobody who's done that will ever be an adult again." The story was fictional, but the words were well-picked, designed to rile up the watchers into putting hand to pants, and to drop Leona further into her blossoming childish self.

The cameras panned over to me, zooming in, and I couldn't even look up at them. My cheeks were on fire. Everything she said... I kicked and squirmed, but she held me in place on her lap. I felt full... I felt sick and queasy. I tried to plead with Nurse Betsy behind the pacifier, but my words came out a jumbled mess. There was no way I was playing into this stupid fantasy... absolutely no way.

I couldn't figure out why she hadn't spat out the pacifier, the only explanation I could come up with was that she wanted this, and the squirming was just an act. Uneasy all the same, I made sure to get some excellent photos - the kind of nuance and detail that something like video didn't have a hope of capturing the way I could; and besides, I was an artist, not some third rate video jockey. I had to admit, watching her there was... really attractive. And while I was kind of disgusted by the idea of what she was going to be doing, I knew it was all just for the cameras. Had to admit; girl had gumption.

Betsy held me in place on her lap and started to read me one of my baby books, books I had read a million times. I shifted uncomfortably and whimpered through the pacifier every time a cramp washed over me. In the past, I’d had to stop shoots in the middle to run to the bathroom. It was always an issue I'd dealt with. But I never thought it would be used against me in a moment like this...

I wondered to myself if she'd actually do it, and if she did, would she be the snarky, sort of bitchy girl who I took photos of on my first few days here? Or would she be the bratty little lovely tot from out in the park? Which one was real and which was an act? She looked so unhappy, but her wriggling to try and slip out of Betsy's arms seemed to have waned to some degree; maybe keeping that act up was just too exhausting? It was weird how fascinated I was with this, right? Seeing how much of a baby she'd truly become? That was weird, wasn't it?

Two books later, Betsy stood me up on my feet and I winced from the shock. I just needed to use the bathroom... I had every right to use the bathroom! I was twenty years old, not two! It was just make believe! Didn't they understand that?! But every time I tried to fight Betsy, I felt smaller. More helpless. Incapable. I tugged on her shirt and looked up at her with pleading eyes. She was in control. She could help me escape this...

"Oh, what is it, poppet?" Of course, with the pacifier glued to her lips, it wasn't like Betsy expected too much in the way of a reply. "Oh, I think she's saying she's ready to show all her fans what a true and genuine baby she is, she's ready to show everybody what it means to cross the point of no return."

Nurse Betsy had some ideas for posing - making Baby Luvs pose on her hands and knees so the camera could see, or holding her over her lap with her tush pointing up, maybe. Either way, the whole idea had been hers and hers alone, and completely off-script, so she’d wing it.

I shook my head in a fury. My cheeks were so red they had begun to hurt. I didn't know what else to do! I looked at Abe for help, but he wasn't on my side. I looked to Jackie, but her eyes were almost glazed beyond the camera lens. Obviously Melissa would step in - she'd tell Abe he had gone too far! But she was suspiciously absent today. I pushed my knees together and tried to run off set once more, only to be pulled over Betsy's lap with my diaper propped high in the air. Please... please... someone save me...

The camera crew had moved into position, focused as though they were trying to capture a birth or something else so monumental. To me, the beauty was on the other side; I snapped pictures of her face, of her glassy eyes about to cry, of the complex range of emotions and desperation on her face. She was putting so much of herself into this, it was so... so... arousing, oh my god.

Betsy played with my hair in her fingers, shushing me and cooing. She told me words I could hardly remember, things about being a good baby girl, about what an inspiration I was to those who truly wanted to be helpless children. But I was an adult! Right...? Right...? I melted under Betsy's touch, under her words, and I didn't feel the next cramp coming. It hit like a train to a paper wall, and I felt the mess push out of my bottom and into the seat of my diaper. Helplessly, childishly, I started to cry.

I didn't know what to expect, I think out of everybody in the studio, only Betsy had any inkling. There was no dignity to the noises that came from her diaper, nothing adult and elegant about what she was doing; she crossed a line into something no adult would ever do, and Betsy reminded her with a sparkle in her eyes about how she could never come back from this, that no adult ever crossed this line and came back from it. Or something like that; I wasn't really listening - I was so fixated on taking photos of her face; the way she cried, the way she sobbed, and the looks of humiliation on her soft features when Betsy cupped the mush in her diaper and squished it up against her, telling her how much she'd done, how big a baby she must be.

Once it started, I couldn't stop. My body pushed on instinct, and I filled the seat of the diaper with my stinky mess. Betsy pushed her hand against my bottom, squishing it all over, only to cement my humiliation. When she stood me up, the diaper weighed so much between my thighs. I'd never felt a diaper like this one, full and thick and mushy. I could hardly stand on my wobbling legs, crying quietly on camera.

"Our little Baby Luvs is so happy to have shared that with you all, aren't you, Baby?" The way Betsy spoke, leading and in control, it wasn't like anybody could have said no to her, much less a sobbing, humiliated, mostly regressed little girl. "Now why don't you dip into a cute curtsey for the camera, and then turn around and make sure everybody can see what being a true baby is all about." Leona looked so... broken.

Humbled wasn't a strong enough word. I was devastated. This wasn't something I thought I would ever do, not in my entire life. It wasn't something I wanted to do! And I did it. I sucked hard on the pacifier for comfort and dipped into a curtsy, showing off the brown seat of my diaper to the camera. The scene was over, but I couldn't hold it together anymore. I needed to change. I didn't care how humiliating it was or how helpless I looked. I tugged on Mommy's sleeve and smooshed my face into her shirt. I couldn't talk. I couldn't get a true word out behind the pacifier. So I did what any stinky baby would do: I cried for my Mommy.

Betsy didn't let the camera film the changing - I didn't know why, but I was pleased for my new friend’s dignity that they weren't allowed to. Even without the lenses on her, though, Leona was well and truly diminished, reduced to sobs and blushing cheeks, sucking so intently on her pacifier that I was amazed she hadn't swallowed the damn thing! I pondered going in and taking some pictures of the changing, but figured if the cameras weren't filming it, I probably shouldn't be, either.

Abe had just lit a new cigar and looked as proud as a newly made father when I approached on him.

"Jenny, would you look at that.”

"It's Jackie."

"Of course it is, Jackie, but look at that, that's good value, Jackie, the best value, the best. You work with the best, you get the best, Jackie, that Nurse Betsy? She cost me a pretty penny, she cost me more than I wanted to pay, Jackie, but it's paying off, oh yes it is."

"...what?" I didn't have time for his rambling.

"That whole scene, Jackie? Improvised, off-the-cuff, not even in the script. That was all Nurse Betsy, Jackie, all her handiwork."

Abe was pleased as punch. But me? I was furious.