“You know I appreciate your monthly brooding visits,” Donna Sue looked over her shoulder at Ravel with a knowing glance.

The two were in Donna Sue’s kitchen. Donna Sue was standing over the stove with some tea boiling away in a pot. Donna Sue was wearing her pajamas, a plain top and some sweat pants decorated with a cute cartoon dog. Ravel stood on the other side of the stove, the back of which was up against a small wall that ran through the middle of the kitchen. She was wearing a one-piece light blue dress, with an almost denim look to it. She smiled innocently at the statement by her friend.

“I’m asking for advice, not brooding!” Ravel said defensively. “And I’m not just here for that, I like hanging out with you too.”

“Mmmhmm,” Donna Sue said in a distinct tone. She dumped the tea into a jug and then poured in an obscene amount of sugar with it and began stirring with a wooden spoon.

“Well why don’t we get the advice out of the way and then we can move on to hanging out,” Donna Sue instructed as she stirred. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well, it’s a bit embarrassing,” Ravel admitted.

“Girl how long have we know each other?” Donna Sure answered in a sassy tone. “We’ve both seen each other do enough to not be embarrassed, or I’d hope.”

“You’re right,” Ravel sighed in defeat. “I guess it’s more just how much I built this up.”

“Well, I had a guess what it was but that sealed it,” Donna Sue said stopping her stirring by tapping the wooden spoon twice on the plastic jug. “But I’m not going to rob you of your reveal.”

“What do you mean you guessed?” Ravel said a bit annoyed.

“Well, I know one particular topic that was on your mind last time you were here, and you don’t really wear dresses without a reason. Which is funny to me because what you got on under that dress isn’t ever going to be thick enough to notice even if you were wearing yoga pants.” Ravel blushed and looked at the ground.

“So, you know already.”

“Say it anyway.” Donna Sue sighed. Ravel didn’t say it but lifted the skirt of her dress with a blush, revealing what Donne Sue had already correctly suspected, that Ravel was wearing a pull-up, and that she probably had been wearing pull-ups for a while. “Normally you wait til after a date to flash a girl your panties,” Donna Sue said with a hint of annoyance. “Say it Ravel. Say it so you can get used to saying it and we can actually talk about it.”

“Ugh” Ravel stomped in annoyance. “I’ve been wearing pull-ups,” she said quietly.

“Can’t hear you?” Donna Sue prompted a louder declaration.

“I’ve been wearing pull-ups,” Ravel said in a normal voice but with just as much of a blush.

“Was that really that hard?” Donna Sue set the jug of freshly made sweet tea in her refrigerator to cool.

“Yes,” Ravel’s whine was more playful than genuine. Donna Sue rolled her eyes.

“Well obviously you know I don’t judge, but I don’t think it’s me you’re worried about.” Donna Sue moved to the living room and Ravel followed. “You’re worried about your stream.”

“I kinda made too big a deal about not wearing them,” Ravel admitted. “Even while wearing them most of the time.”

“You like digging holes don’t you,” Donna Sue said pointedly. “You know you don’t have to tell anybody. I’d tell Stuffies so you get them for free, but you don’t have to tell your audience, do you?” She sat down on her couch and Ravel sat down next to her.

“I mean they’d find out when I personally endorse them, on the next ad read.” Ravel said with a wince.

“You don’t have to do that endorsement,” Donna Sue returned a disappointed smirk.

“There’s no reason not to if I’m wearing them and …” Ravel stopped short, blushing again.

“Go ahead,” Donna Sue prompted.

“If I’m wearing them and wetting them,” Ravel said a little quieter. "They'll give me more money if I endorse them myself."

“But that’s not who you want to be,” Donna Sue countered. “Is it worth changing your image for money?”

“It’s a good amount of money.”

“That’s your call to make, but I do worry,” Donna Sue leaned back in her couch. “This is a slippery slope. All of those diaper streamers have a cosmic fans, and they make that kind of content. I don’t want you to be pressured into doing that.”

“I’m not going to be a diaper streamer though.”

“You don’t have to be. You’ll be wearing a diaper, well a pull-up, and that’s enough for people to expect things. You’ll constantly get questions and stuff.”

“I can handle it,” Ravel said with confidence.

“If you’re sure. I just don’t think it’s worth it.”

“It’s not so much that it’s worth it it’s just … wasted money,” Ravel tried to explain.

“Must be a lot of money.”

“It’s more than one sum of money,” Ravel clasped her hands together as she talked. “Stuffies will pay more attention to me. Get me more ad reads more often. So, it’s not just more money from one ad it’s more ads, and a better relationship with Stuffies.”

“Have you gotten any other sponsors?”

“No” Ravel said a little disappointed.

“Maybe you will,” Donna Sue offered. “I know I’d wait for a different one. Just to have some options. Maybe one that lines up with your image.” Ravel looked at the ground unsure. “Look it’s your stream and it’s up to you. I don’t mean to try and dissuade you from anything, I’m just worried about where all this will lead. I don’t want you to put up with that. Unless that’s something you want to do.”

“You think they will be mad at me?” Ravel looked up from the ground and at Donna Sue.

“Some people will,” Donna Sue shrugged. “But it’s the internet. People get mad at everything. I think the people that aren’t deranged will see that it doesn’t matter, and you’ll gain as many deranged people as you lose. Keep in mind the new deranged people will be constantly asking you to show them your pull-ups.”

“That’s not that much worse than what I get now honestly,” Ravel commented. “How do you think I should say it? That I’m wearing pull-ups I mean. I’ve already decided I want to do it before another ad.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Donna Sue said thoughtfully. “You definitely don’t want to surprise people with it. You just need to be firm. Tell people you’re not going to be a diaper girl stream and shut down anyone that suggests otherwise.”

“Harsh,” Ravel said flatly.

“But fair,” Donna Sue countered. “It sounds like you made up your mind already, even with me telling you all the down sides.”

“Yeah sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Donna Sue brushed the concern off. “It’s your decision, and I’ll support you either way. Well from over here. I just don’t get live streams.”

“Boomer,” Ravel snickered.

“Well, if I’m a boomer we can watch a boomer anime,” Donna Sue got up from the couch to try and find such an anime to pass the time for the rest of the night.

*****

Ravel thought about her visit with Donna Sue as she played a mindless top-down shooter game on her stream. It was a short stream, and really it was all to build up to the announcement Ravel had to make. Even with all the thought she had put into it, she still wasn’t looking forward to making it, and the reaction it would bring. It wasn’t going to be good no matter what she did. She had a smirk for a moment. Her first scandal and apology, she really was a streamer.

“Ok guys I think we’re gonna call it for now,” Ravel said a bit nervously. She shut the game down and brought her face came up to take up the whole stream layout. She had been reading chat and they could tell the something was off about her. Ravel couldn’t blame them; she could tell that her nervousness was making her act weird.

She looked down at her pajama pants, and felt the secret beneath them. The wet pull-up. Reminding her constantly of what she had to do here.

“Well, you can probably tell by the length of the stream today that this is a bit of a weird one. I’ve got an announcement I want to make. I just want to say off the bat that this isn’t going to change how the streams are going to work. It’s still going to be the same Bandsy streams, I’m not going to change, and I’m not going to let people change me.” Ravel looked down again and blushed. She had practiced saying these next words over and over so she actually could get them out on stream. Even after saying them more than 100 times to herself in the mirror, it was still hard to say them, she even choked up a bit as she did.

“I’ve been wearing pull-ups for a while now,” Ravel finally got out. She paused for a moment to let the news sink in, shifting around in her chair as she did and letting her chat erupt with surprise. “It started shortly after the first Stuffies sponsorship actually. I didn’t want to admit it to you all because I was concerned at what that might mean for my stream. I don’t have anything against diaper streams, but I don't want to have that kind of stream. I want to stay the same.” Ravel stopped and let the chat scroll on for a few minutes before catching a few messages she expected. Some like: "Can we see them?," "Are you wearing one now?," "Are you wet?"

“See no this is what I’m talking about. I’m not going show my pull-ups to you guys, I’m not going to tell you if it’s wet or not, I’m not even going to tell you I’m wearing one and I’m not going to allow that kind of discussion. This is your last warning about it. You guys start being weird about this and you’re gonna get banned.” Messages of disapproval flew by but Ravel’s expression remained stern and eventually the chat calmed down.

“Look guys I don’t want this to be a big deal. I think CryBabyCereal was right when I was on her podcast. My underwear shouldn’t change the kind of stream I do so it’s not going to. The only that is going to change is that I can give Discretes my own personal recommendation. I just wanted to let you guys know now and not get surprised by it next time I do an ad read.”

There was another pause as Ravel leaned back in her chair and exhaled a bit. She felt a weight leave her shoulders with the exhale. Despite the mixed reaction from the chat Ravel had to admit that she felt a lot better now that she knew she didn’t have to lie about it any more.

“Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. I’m sorry I guess if this bothered you. I hope you guys will stick around and we can keep the hype train going,” Ravel’s usual hyper stream personality managed to peek out at the end of her sentence. “See you guys next time,” with a wave Ravel closed her stream and then fell back into her chair with a weird mix of dread and relief. She was relieved now that she didn’t have to constantly hide and deny that she was wearing pull-ups, but dread at what could happen now that the news was out.

Even with all of her determination to keep it from happening, she was concerned that she would not be able to keep her channel from devolving into what most diaper streams devolved into. She thought of CryBabyCereal stuck in her bouncer in a soggy diaper, and of SmolSally filling her new bee themed diapers on stream. She then saw herself, in an exaggerated image. She was babbling, and drooling, wearing nothing but a short t-shirt and an obviously full diaper and giggling at her stream. Ravel shook her head to dispel the image, one that was obviously a bit extreme and brought on by stress.

Ravel stood up straight and psyched herself up to chase away these thoughts. She kept repeating to herself that she could do this, that she didn’t have to fall into that trap if she didn’t want to. She kept saying it until she finally believed it enough to file the worried thoughts away for the time being.

As she stood up from her chair, gravity got to work and Ravel felt the streams buildup on her bladder hit hard. She had already wet her pull-up once before she had started her stream. She was generally a little wary of wetting her pull-ups more than once, but she also felt like changing into a new one just to wet it again would be wasteful somehow. So, she let go.

The novelty of the sensation of wetting had worn off significantly, though Ravel still enjoyed it. So, Ravel maintained a neutral expression as she wet the pull-up again. She didn’t really think about it until she felt an odd sensation as she finished peeing. She could feel a small puddle of liquid settle toward the back of the pull-up. She froze in shock. After a few moments the pull-up managed to absorb the liquid, soaking into the back of the pull-up. Ravel felt a constant sense of dampness as the saturated padding struggled to hold everything in.

With a blush, Ravel realized that she was dangerously close to leaking. With some care she undressed in her bedroom, removing the used pull-up and tossing it into a nearby trash can carefully. Ravel blushed a bit as she cursed herself. She really should have changed before now, and she was embarrassed that she let the thought slip out of her mind. She chalked it up to the stress of her announcement and dismissed it. With an ironic sense of relief Ravel realized that the worry of almost leaking was enough to shut the last of her doubts from the stream from her mind.