“Do I have to tell you how ridiculous I think this is?” Micheal said sending Ravel a judgmental look. Ravel shrunk a bit at the look because she really didn’t have any excuse for her friend.

The two were sitting in the food court of their local mall. Unfortunately for them, being in such a remote part of the country meant the “local” mall was almost an hour and a half drive away from where they lived. The reason for that hour and a half drive, and the coming hour and a half drive back, was sitting underneath Ravel’s cheap plastic seat.

Inside a chic looking plastic bag with the logo for a store known for niche, casually kinky or scene clothing, was that reason. Inside was a pack of Stuffies discrete pull-ups. Several packages of them. So many that the bag struggled to hold them all which, left Ravel feeling extremely self-conscious, even if no one at the mall paid her any mind. Ravel had though to get as much as she could carry this time around to avoid this drive, and bothering her friend, for a while.

Ravel hated it. She had to pick out the pull-ups in the store, take them to the register to buy them, and then carry them around the mall until she left. Way too much public exposure for something she was desperately trying to keep private. Not to mention she was clearly annoying her friend. Not that she could blame him. Driving an hour and a half one way to get pull-ups that she could be getting for free was more than annoying. This was one of the many times Ravel wished she could afford a car.

“I’m sorry Mike, really,” Ravel said sadly. “If I had my own car …”

“It’d still be stupid,” Micheal cut Ravel off. “I mean you can get them for free. Less than free, you’d be paid for it.”

“That’s just not something I want for my streams,” Ravel said conflicted. “I don’t want to be a diaper streamer; I want to be … well … I don’t really know. I just know I don't want to be that.”

“I mean you're the one paying for the pull-ups, and the gas, and my lunch,” Micheal stated. "It's your loss."

“I’m paying for your lunch?” Ravel protested. Micheal shot her a look and Ravel relented.

“You do like them, don’t you?” Micheal asked plainly, though Ravel still blushed. He asked more to make a statement than to actually ask it as a question. The contents of Ravel’s bags spilling out onto the food court floor was the answer to that question.

“I mean yeah?” Ravel didn’t see a point in denying that now.

“Then what’s the big deal?” Micheal now asked a question genuinely. “Why not be a diaper streamer? You can stop hiding that you’re wearing them and get bank from Stuffies ad revenue. Your streams would basically stay the same only with more …” Micheal nodded his head all around.

“With more cosmic fans content,” Ravel answered brutally. “More degrading myself for views. I just don’t want that.” Micheal leaned back in his chair.

“I mean I get it,” Micheal said in understanding.

“You get it?” Ravel questioned hostilely. “You get the pressure to sell stuff on cosmic fans? You really wanna push that angle?”

“No!” Micheal was defensive. “Well not that specifically. I mean like not being what you thought you would be.”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean, just as an example,” Micheal began. “I kinda thought being a lawyer would be all about defending the innocent, or going after the guilty trying to slink away, but it’s just as much defending big companies, and taking money from people that can’t afford it.”

“I mean yeah, there’s a reason people don’t like lawyers.”

“Point I’m trying to make is that I’ve also struggled with being something different then I thought I would be when I started. I think everyone hits that at some point. It's just a part of growing up. The reality of life catches up with your fantasy, and you have to sacrifice that idea a bit.”

“This is a long-winded way of telling me to take the more serious sponsorship,” Ravel said deliberately dismissing the bulk of what Micheal was saying.

“You’re lucky I think,” Micheal continued. “You’re sacrificing your image, but it’s for something you actually like doing. Most people hate what their job turns them into.”

“I don’t know that I really like that I like it you know,” Ravel admitted.

“Well, there's nothing wrong with it,” Micheal shrugged.

“Tell that to my chat.”

“I mean they’ll make fun of you for anything.”

“You join in a lot of the time,” Ravel said accusingly.

“It’s just part of the fun of being a lovable returning guest,” Micheal shrugged. Ravel didn’t seem amused. “You may have to take the bigger sponsorship like it or not,” Micheal said getting back to the topic. “I don’t think you can keep affording this, and next time I’m getting the steak sandwich.”

“Yeah, you kinda have a point,” Ravel said in resignation. This trip was becoming expensive. Eating through the money she had gotten from the ad she did and then some. Hiding her pull-up wearing definitely wasn’t the affordable option.

“What did CryBabyCereal want by the way?” Micheal asked. “I know you got a recommendation from her, but I didn’t know you two talked.”

“We don’t. It's the first time I’ve talked to her,” Ravel shrugged “She wants me to come on her podcast or stream segment or whatever it is.”

“About diapers I’m guessing? Why did she ask you?”

“I mean I haven’t responded yet,” Ravel said unsure. Micheal leaned back in his chair to signal he was waiting for more. “She said she wanted to talk about being more accepting, from both sides.”

“Sounds kinda heavy for a diaper podcast,” Micheal said in surprise.

“That’s why I don’t really know. I kinda thought the whole vibe was sunshine and rainbows,” Ravel exclaimed. “I still don’t know if I’m gonna do it or not. I don’t know what I’m walking into, I don’t really fit her usual archetype, and I’m trying not to be seen as a diaper streamer.”

“Sounds like you really wanna go,” Micheal expertly saw through Ravel’s facade. She was making excuses to not do what she wanted to do. He had a suspicion that she was doing the same thing about these pull-ups and the Stuffie’s sponsorship, but that topic was being more well-guarded so he couldn’t make the statement as confidently as he did about this topic. Ravel’s quick darting look confirmed Micheal was right.

“Yeah,” Ravel said quietly.

“Go for it I say,” Micheal nodded.

“That’s all you’ve been saying today,” Ravel complained.

“Yeah, cuz it’s all the advice you need,” Micheal said seriously. “You’re getting to in your head about all of this. Thinking about it too much. The answers are simple.”

“Maybe you aren’t thinking about it enough?” Ravel challenged.

“You don’t see me dragging you out of your house on a Saturday to buy some shit I could be getting for free,” Micheal countered. Ravel pouted not able to come up with a comeback to that one. “Come on pack on your pull-ups I wanna get home,” Micheal said packing up the disposable packaging from his meal.

“Not so loud Mike,” Ravel whined struggling to do the same.

“Oh, come on, if one of your viewers recognizes you here, I’ll buy you these pull-ups for a month.”

“God I kinda want it to happen just to piss you off now,” Ravel had thrown her food packaging away and was trying to get the bunch of pull-ups she had squared away in their bag.

They made their way out of the mall and to Micheal’s car. Ravel finally felt some relief from the social anxiety when the bag full of pull-ups was safely tucked away in Micheal’s trunk. As Ravel secured the trunk and got in the car she heard a pop and fizzing sound as Micheal cracked open an energy drink to keep him going for the drive back. Ravel got into an uncomfortable looking, but surprisingly cozy position in the passenger seat.

She was looking at her phone, pondering the message CryBabyCeral had sent her.

Ceral: Hey Bandsy. It’s me your silent recommendation XD. I know we haven’t talked officially yet, but I’d like it if you could come on my baby bouncer hour. I wanted to talk about being more accepting. Both people in and out of the abdl community. I think being someone who’s not really in the community, you’d be great to have on for the discussion. No pressure if you don’t want to though, let me know one way of the other.

Ravel still felt a little odd reading it. She barely knew cereal, and now she got invited on her show, to talk about something rather serious sounding. She wondered if she would be being dishonest by accepting. With several boxes of pull-ups in the trunk Ravel was at least some part of the abdl community now, even if it was only dipping her toe in.

Ravel looked over to Micheal, who didn’t even notice the look. Ravel had to admit that he had a point earlier, probably more than he knew. She was overthinking things. With this message from CryBabyCereal, and other things as well. She wasn’t ready to really think about those other things, but she was ready to think about this Cereal thing. She was ready to get over her anxiety about it and move on.

Bandsy: I’m not really sure what I’m in for but I can come on.

Bandsy set her phone down expecting a moment of quiet for contemplation, but Cereal’s replay was surprisingly instant.

Cereal: Great ^^. It’s this Saturday at 9 eastern. I don’t know what that is for you.

Bandsy: I can figure it out.

Cereal: Oki. Can I call you sometime before then just to get camera stuff all sorted out?

Bandsy: Yeah, sure that’s fine.

Cereal: Great. If you have any questions before then let me know. I can’t wait to have you on.

As the conversation went to a natural conclusion Ravel finally got her quiet moment to reflect. She found herself at least a little less anxious, and smiled to herself.

“Guess I’m going on CryBabyCeral’s stream,” she announced in the car.

“Oh nice,” Micheal aid not takin his eyes off the road. “Bandsy’s getting crossover’s now, or is collab the better word.”

“Collab is more of a vtuber thing,” Ravel laughed.

“I mean diaper streamers are basically vtubers,” Micheal said as if that was the most obvious statement in the world. Ravel’s face said that it wasn’t even true much less obvious.

“Ok you’re not gonna just get away with that one,” Ravel said shaking her head. “What the hell are you talking about?”