Chapter Thirty-One

“Lavender,” Vivian said with quiet surprise as I walked into the parlor, where I found her sitting with a book in her hands. “What…what are you doing here?”

“What the fuck, Vivian?” I was trying not to shout, “Why did you tell Dr. Abernathy about us? Why did you tell her you coerced me into things by using my grades as leverage? Why did you fucking do it, Vivian?”

Vivian gave me a level look throughout my little tirade, “I had to.”

“Bullshit, you did.”

“Elyse was going to tell.”

“She wasn’t! She promised me she wouldn’t!”

“Then it would have been someone else eventually! It was just a matter of time, Lavender, someone was going to find out. I just…wanted to protect you from it the best I could.”

“I didn’t want to be protected,” I shot back, “I wanted you by my side!”

Vivian lowered her gaze, “Lavender…”

“You didn’t even talk to me before you did it, Vivian,” I was pacing angrily back and forth, “you didn’t talk to me, you didn’t warn me, you ignored me all morning, you…you…fuck!”

“Lavender, I was…I was trying to protect us, please understand.”

“We didn’t need to be protected! We could have dealt with this when and if it ever became a problem, but no, you just had to run off and out us! Do you…do you even want to be with me anymore?”

Vivian’s head snapped up, panic in her eyes, “Lavender, yes, yes, of course I do, please don’t think for a second that I don’t want that, that’s why I did this, so we could be together!”

“You have a funny way of showing it, Vivian,” I said sourly.

“Lavender,” Vivian got up off the couch and swiftly closed the distance between us, taking my hands in hers, “Lavender, please, listen. I got scared, okay? Elyse catching us like that…I just got scared. And maybe she wasn’t going to tell, but it was inevitable that someone was going to find out. And what then? What if Elyse had walked in on something more incriminating than us eating Chinese together? What if Elyse had walked it while I was changing your diaper on the floor, huh? What would happen if someone else turned us in and there was an investigation into our relationship? What would they find? It could ruin my reputation, so much more than this will, and, more importantly, it could ruin yours before you really have a chance to establish one. Please, Lavender, I’m sorry I did this without consulting you, but I just wanted to protect you, so I lied, I made sure the blame was going to fall squarely on me. Please, tell me you understand.”

I looked at Vivian, her words had melted my anger away and left me feeling…hollow, uncertain. “You should have talked to me first,” I said weakly.

“Yes,” she agreed with a nod of her head, “I should have, I’m sorry I didn’t, please forgive me?”

My shoulders slumped, and I nodded; how could I not forgive her? “Forgive me for bursting in here?”

Vivian smiled and cupped my cheek, “of course, darling, of course.”

I hugged Vivian, resting my head on her shoulder. “Thank you,” I said softly, “for protecting me.” I hadn’t asked her to protect me, and I hated that she had needed to, but I couldn’t deny that I was thankful.

“Of course, darling, I wouldn’t very well deserve to be called Miss Vivian if I couldn’t protect my little girl, right?”

I smiled, I still wasn’t happy with what Vivian had done, but I understood why she had done it, and it did mean we were now free to be together. “I love you, Miss Vivian.”

“And I love you, my little Lavender.”

The next day, I told Elyse I was moving out for good.