Chapter Nineteen

The week that followed was an…interesting one, to be sure.

By Sunday, the vague sense of trepidation I had over openly wearing my little clothes and padding or using my pacifiers and sippy cups in the common areas of the apartment was gone without a trace. I spent the entirety of my Saturday dressed in a onesie and a diaper and sitting on my couch binge-watching a show I had been wanting to check out for months but had been too busy for. I drank exclusively from my sippy cup, and my pacifier was always clipped to the collar of my onesie. Granted, I also spent the day with the low but constant hum of my anxiety telling me Elyse would burst through the front door at any moment, thus discovering my shame and forcing me to run away and start a new life elsewhere. But it never happened, and the hum quickly faded. I even napped on the couch on Sunday afternoon, my diaper on full display, without a second thought.

By Monday, Vivian was texting me pictures of the house we’d be staying in. It was an absolutely gorgeous Victorian-style house with a wrap-around porch right on the edge of a huge lake that glistened in all the photos. The house had a covered patio in the back that led right up to the edge of the water with a portion of the patio jutting out into the lake to serve as a private little dock. I spent no small amount of time that week simply fantasizing about lounging on that dock with Vivian. A little bit of sunshine and water and relaxation was exactly what I needed to recuperate from the busy semester I had just finished, and getting to see Vivian in what I imagined would be a sexy but sophisticated swimsuit was the icing on the cake.

By Tuesday, I’d order a new swimsuit for myself. It was a simple, black two-piece with a skirted bottom. Perhaps more importantly, I’d also ordered more diapers: another pack of the all black diapers to bring on vacation and another pack of very babyish pastel diapers adorned with bunnies for at home. I’d winced more than a little at the cost of shipping to make sure I received them before I left for vacation with Vivian but had ultimately decided it was worth it. Or maybe I was just eager and rationalizing my decision. I also stocked up on pull-ups to make sure I’d have plenty for the trip—I was assuming there would be plenty of drinks, and I’d set myself enough of a precedent of having accidents while drinking that Vivian would probably be expecting me to wear pull-ups. Besides, the last thing I wanted to do was ruin the carpet in a rental house, right? Right.

By Wednesday, it had been five days since I’d worn panties. I’d spent the vast majority of that time in diapers—though I was quickly running out—but some of it in pull-ups. Perhaps it was the novel excitement of diapers, perhaps it was the elation of having the privacy to wear whenever I wanted, and perhaps it was a little of both. Or, perhaps it was because in the back of my mind I was still wondering if I was truly ready and willing to take this farce to the point where I was wearing some kind of padding, whether that be diapers or pull-ups, full time. Gods knew I fantasized about it often enough, and Wednesday marked not only five days in padding but also five days of dwelling on that exact fantasy. But I knew the reality of wearing padding at all times was different than the fantasy, but every day I went without panties I was that much closer to not only feeling like it was something I could do but also like it was something I very much wanted to do. That said, it was one thing to wear them around my apartment for so many consecutive days, and quite another to have to wear them outside my apartment.

By Thursday, I was determined to take my little experiment further. That afternoon, I changed out of a completely soaked diaper and into a pull-up. I did my make-up—nothing too fancy, just a little eyeshadow, some tame eyeliner, and red lipstick—and got dressed in clothes appropriate for being out in public—another first for that week. To say I was nervous would be an understatement, and I spent a long time in front of my full-length mirror making sure the pull-up wasn’t visible under my clothes. Once I was sure it was undetectable, I proceeded to hem and haw and find ways to procrastinate for another hour. Finally, though, I ran out of ways to delay, braced myself, and left my apartment. It was the first time I had ever ventured outside of my apartment while wearing padding—not counting Vivian’s house, of course—and I was equal parts terrified and thrilled. I got some lunch and did some grocery shopping, feeling increasingly more comfortable as my outing proceeded without incident. Of course, I knew one outing was only a small taste of what it would be like to wearing pull-ups all the time, but it was nonetheless encouraging. Needless to say, by the time I got home I was ready for some one-on-one time with my vibrator.

By Thursday evening, I was packed and ready for a weeklong vacation with Vivian. Nestled in my suitcase was a full pack of my black diapers for nighttime and a pack and a half of pull-ups for daytime. I wasn’t planning on wearing the entire vacation, but I was certainly entertaining fantasies of doing so.

And then it was Friday. My excitement over getting to spend a whole week with Vivian had kept me up most of the night before, like a child too excited to sleep on Christmas Eve, and I was up and getting ready for the day bright and early. Of course, I was already packed, and it was too early to get dressed and do my make-up to see Vivian, so I spent most of Friday morning double and triple checking my suitcases to make sure I had packed everything.

I watched the clock impatiently as the day slowly ticked by and morning slid into afternoon.

When my phone started to ring in the early afternoon and I saw Vivian’s name appear on the screen, I scrambled to answer as quickly as I could.

“Hey sweetheart,” I said into the phone, trying not to let my eagerness into my voice, “what’s up?”

“I was just calling to make sure you’re ready for our trip,” Vivian replied. It was so good to hear her voice. “All packed and such?”

“All packed!” I repeated back. “I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I; I’ve been looking forward to this all week. I only just finished my grading yesterday, and I am ready to relax.”

“You deserve it!”

“We both deserve some rest,” Vivian replied, “but, if I’m being honest, I’m much more excited to see you.”

I blushed hard, “yeah?”

“Of course, darling,” Vivian’s voice was more than a little sultry, “I simply can’t wait to have you all to myself for a whole week. If I’m being honest, the thought has kept me more than a little…distracted over the past week.”

“I know what you mean,” I admitted with a small laugh, “I’ve been thinking a lot about it too.”

Probably not about the same exact things as Vivian, though.

That was probably true.

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Vivian replied—and by her tone of voice, I could easily imagine the mischievous grin that was on her face as she did.

“Listen,” Vivian said after a short pause, her voice suddenly much more serious, “there was something I wanted to talk to you about before tonight.”

“Oh?” My anxiety suddenly spiked at her variation of ‘we need to talk’ and my monosyllabic response was about all I could muster.

“It’s nothing bad,” Vivian added quickly, clearly picking up on the nerves in my voice, “it’s just…well…Lavender, I really don’t want to embarrass you, but…”

My mind was racing trying to figure out where this was going, but there was one thing I knew for certain: it was definitely about my accidents.

“I’ve been thinking over the past week, and I think it might be best if you bring some of your, ah…diapers for nighttime, just considering the bed at the lake house probably might not have a mattress protector.”

My heart skipped several beats.

She told you to bring diapers.

My cheeks were burning, but I also had butterflies in my stomach.

She wants you to wear diapers to bed.

I had to stop myself from replying with a soft ‘yes, Miss Vivian.’

“I’m sorry, Lavender,” Vivian said when I didn’t reply for a long moment, “the last thing I want to do is embarrass you, I just thought it might be for the best, but ultimately it is your decision.”

“No, I…it’s okay,” I replied at last, “you’re…probably right, after all. I’ll make sure to bring them.”

“Thank you for understanding, Lavender,” there was more than a hint of relief in her voice, but I wasn’t sure if it was relief that I agreed or relief that I wasn’t upset by the request. “And, ah, I also think that…well, in consideration of the fact that I’m sure we’ll be having quite a few drinks over the course of our vacation…”

She wants you to bring pull-ups too.

My heart was thumping in my throat. Was this really happening?

“…perhaps you should bring some of your pull-ups, too?” Vivian finished hesitantly.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Looks like it’s a good thing you bought more.

“Yes,” I replied, trying to keep my voice level and not give away how excited or how nervous I was, “I think that’s a good idea.”