Tori
Alpha had left me alone, which was fine by me. I just wanted to lay by the fire. I relaxed but was careful not to fall asleep despite my exhaustion - evening was on, but I wanted the cover of night before I went to Gwen.
If I got enough of a head start, we could be gone in her truck before they figured it out.
I didn't know if she was my mate - I'd never really thought about taking a mate. I hadn't spent much time around wolves and I'd never had a girlfriend before. Hell, before Gwen I hadn't really given girls much thought. There had been some passing attractions when I was younger, but it wasn't like a human was going to date me.
All they could sense was the predator in me.
But that didn’t matter with Gwen.
If this plan was to work, however, I'd need to rest in a place that was less conspicuous. After a while of being left alone, I made my way to the stairs - I'd go to the bedroom I had claimed and slip out the window from there.
And I waited. I listened. Everything was quiet. Alpha had gone to bed. Fang and Spike had likely done the same. But still I waited, fighting sleep. I had to be sure.
Getting down was going to be much harder with the wound in my leg than it had been when I had done this same thing an eternity ago. I felt like an entirely different person.
I was leaving.
I was turning my back on my family, on my pack, on the people who had saved my life, and I couldn’t even say goodbye. It ached, but I forced myself further, clinging to the feelings I had found in Gwen’s arms.
My mate?
Quietly as I could, I made my way to the ground. Quietly as I could, I crept along the path.
Stopping dead when a log slammed into the ground in front of me, flying from a spot in the trees off the path.
Where yellow eyes flashed in the shadows.
"Where do you think you're going, Runt?" She hopped down, striding over to me. "Back to the house of that Turned?"
I looked up, shocked by both the flying log and the appearance of Alpha - in her full human form. I had forgotten how gorgeous she was, the way her hair cascaded over her shoulders, the way the moon glinted on her perfectly muscled, naked form. Like something from a dream. Her multitude of scars didn’t mar her, they were a spiderweb of honor and strength, except for the nasty black one from that night…
I shifted to human as well, leaning on a tree. I had only managed to get this far because three legs was easier than one.
"Yes. I am. She needs me, Alpha - you don't." Limping, I stepped back from her, my hands never leaving the trees and my eyes never leaving the ground. "I'm weak, I slow the pack down."
"She needs to learn her place, just like you do." Alpha’s voice was firm. Icy. "I'm not losing a Trueblood to something like that human. They're the ones making this world worse. They're the reason everything is happening. She stepped into a world she shouldn't have stepped into and she'll suffer the consequences on her own. She does not need her giftgiver. You will come back with me."
"She's not human anymore. She's newly turned and alone." I shook my head. "I'm not going with you. Just... let me go. Why am I so fucking important to you all of a sudden? You wanted me to learn I'm weak and I did. I'm weak."
"Good. Step one accomplished. Apparently it hasn't gotten through your skull yet that you need a pack." She growled, keeping pace with me so casually. "The fact you'd choose a human, your kidnapper, over your pack shows you've been poisoned. Someone who created weapons to harm and kill us. Her not dying in the snow was the branch I was willing to extend to you. The fact you're going back to her is you deciding to insult me and snap that branch in my face."
She was getting angrier, I could hear it building in her voice, bubbling under the surface.
"For all I know she's gathering any weapons she's capable of handling to come hunt us down right now. If she's so irresistible to you that makes her a threat to my pack." Even in her human form, she stood taller than I did. She took my chin, forcing my eyes up toward her. "I'll give you two options, runt. You can come back to the den willingly, come with us when we leave. Or you can go with this second option. I decided not to kill her out of kindness. I wasn't going to kill a wolf that wasn't a threat. But if she's tempting you away from the pack then she is a threat. Do I need to take care of a threat, runt?"
The musical cadence of her voice didn’t match the cruelty of the words she draped across me, laying the weight of Gwen’s life across me. My breath caught in my chest as she held my chin. Gwen had done the same, but it could not have been more different. My heart ached desperately at her absence.
The only way I could protect Gwen was to leave her.
And it was killing me. Fighting angry tears and failing, my frustration ran down my face.
I lashed out. "River thinks your crusade is bullshit, Snow. We're chasing nothing. I'll go with you, but you're a shit packleader."
The fingers on my chin shifted, squeezing with enough force that I worried she’d break my jaw.
"Where the River Crashes Upon the Rocks and the other packs are stupid. They refuse to see what's in front of them. I've seen what's happening to the world and they refuse to believe it. When the veil is lifted from their eyes it'll be too late for them. That Turned thinks I keep you in the dark, but everyone but the Packleaders are in the dark about the truth of this world. I'm preparing you for what's next. So get over it."
She let me go, turning and walking away, back toward the den. I didn’t look, I just stared, gripping the tree and trying to find my breath.
"I'm the Packleader you got. You'll thank me when you live through what's coming. Most will not."
I looked back, over the snowy hills to where Gwen's house was... not that I could see it from here.
But my head fell. I wasn't going to be able to go to her. What if she was my mate? I'd never really even cared to defy Alpha before, to learn what I could from other wolves in other packs. She kept us separate from them and... I just didn't care before.
And now I regretted that. I regretted my ignorance. I regretted letting Snow have such complete control over me... but she had saved me. She had pulled me from the human world and made me part of her pack.
With a heart so heavy I thought it might fall from my chest, I shifted again, back to the wolf and limped after Snow.
All I could do was hope that our paths crossed again later. She'd go to River. I had to find out where she was.
...I had to find out if she was my mate. I knew that my heart wanted her, and I knew that the brief moments we spent together as equals were some of the happiest of my life.
Be careful, Gwen. I'll find you.
Gwen
Packing was always hard to do, harder now that it had been over a decade. I remembered how hard it had been to decide what to bring to Granddad's each summer. Only so much I could bring with me. It had felt like such a daunting task when all I had was things from my teenage bedroom. Now I had a house full of memories, the memories of multiple people I had to leave behind and it was devastating.
A few changes of clothes went into the duffel bag that had been full of things for Tori so recently. Werewolves tended not to bother with clothes. Their… our bodies ran hot and everything fell off when shifting. River's pack was no different, though I knew they wore clothes when Lily was with them. I was thankful for that small blessing, I wasn’t ready to be a nudist. I was used to it from them, but for me…?
I looked around my room for other things to go in the bag. Things that weren’t silver, anyway.
I didn't have much of value. Snow’s damned lackies had stolen my wallet, so I didn't have a credit card anymore. License was gone too. Hopefully I wouldn't need them. I knew I had a hidden roll of twenties, hopefully they missed them. The box had silver trimmings - a fact I had forgotten as I burned myself opening it.
I wasn't sure how far away River's pack was exactly, but hopefully it would cover gas for a cross-country trip.
The last thing I grabbed was Granddad's book. It was the one thing I didn't feel like I could bear parting with. I had fallen deeper into this side of the world than I had ever intended to. That book felt like one of the few anchors remaining. It was all I had left of Grandad's guidance.
By the time the truck was loaded, most of my injuries had closed. Unfortunately, that didn't mean my body hurt any less. I still felt like I got run over by all eighteen wheels of a semi.
I had to keep going though, there was no way of knowing how much time I might have - Snow could change her mind, come back and finish the job once Tori was confined, or one of her goons might come back without her and I was in no shape to fight again.
I needed one last trip inside to look around for anything that I might want.
The pain of stuffing scraps of my life into the truck was immense. I stared at the steel security door to the basement for a long minute. It was far enough away from the front that it wouldn’t be seen by someone poking their head in, but if someone visited and saw it…
Would they try to get in?
As much as my body screamed at me to just leave it be, I grabbed a bookcase from the living room and dragged it slowly in front of the door. Someone might find it strange for there to be a bookcase there, but at least it was hidden. It was the best I had.
I walked back to the living room, picking up books that fell off from its entirely undignified trip. An entirely random assortment of books - I tried to read as much as I could, but the idea of sorting my bookshelves had always seemed agonizing. Most of what had fallen were books from trying my business going online. Marketing, promotion, websites..
The last book left on the ground made me realize what was missing from my duffel.
Basics of Jewelry Design.
What I hadn’t had the time, the guts, or the heart to give her.
I dashed to the bedroom, my legs announcing their protest.
It had to still be here. Surely they wouldn’t have taken it. It was obviously silver, surely they wouldn’t have touched it?
When I looked at the medicine cabinet in my bathroom, the pendant was gone. The silver content was low enough that they might find it offputting, but it wouldn’t hurt them. It wasn’t supposed to, after all.
They had taken it. It was for her and those two shitbags had taken it for themselves.
Would she know I had made it for her? Would she even get to see it?
Bubbles burst, sails lost their wind. My will was shattered.
I needed to lay down for a moment. Limping over to my bed, I collapsed and let it comfort me. This was the last time I’d probably lay down here, in this bed, for a very long time. I would have given anything to close my eyes, go to sleep, and wake to find this was all a dream. I’d open my eyes and Tori would be waiting downstairs for me.
Maybe we’d go on a walk outside again.
As badly as I wanted to get lost in that fantasy, I knew I needed to keep going.
There were some loose ends I needed to tie up before I could leave. I called Mabel's store. She was a gossip, news would spread from her. I told her I needed to cancel my usual order for the foreseeable future, there was an emergency and I was heading out of town for a while.
With my social life taken care of in all of one phone call, it was time for my professional life.
My laptop was gone, but at least I had my cellphone. I sent out a round of emails, canceling all remaining orders. I just told them there was a family crisis, I’d be unable to work while away from the forge.
Next came the passwords on my accounts. If Snow was anything like River she wasn't particularly tech savvy. River never wanted to deal with technology if she didn't have to, but Lily kept a cellphone so she could reach her parents. That little fact had been a lifesaver for me. I wasn't sure how knowledgeable Tori might be, let alone the two assholes. It was probably better safe than sorry though.
A thought occurred to me, maybe a faint glimmer of hope.
They had my laptop. There was a chance they might just smash it. If any of them knew how to use it, they might go through it. First, I deleted every email I had ever received or sent. It hurt a lot to delete messages from people I loved, but I managed. Maybe I was desensitized after scrambling to sift through my house.
With a clean account, I changed the name to "For Mine" to grab her attention. I needed to change the password to something simple she'd think of, something obvious.
I sighed, knowing there was one obvious choice that would likely piss her off when she figured it out.
runt
I dismissed the warnings about password security, I was long past that point now. Staring at the screen, I struggled with what to say.
What I wanted her to hear.
Tori,
Our time together was short, but meeting you was what I needed in my life. A connection that I had lacked my whole life. Despite what happened, you did a lot for me. I'm sorry I wasn't able to stand up for you and save you from what happened. I wish I had more time with you. I wish I had shown you that you're wanted, that you were loved even if I made mistakes every step of the way. I can only hope you're reading this and you're okay. I hope that somehow, someway, we meet again.
I love you and I wish you were here with me.
Gwen Sorenson
I sighed as I saved it as a draft. It was now the only thing in my email. If she got in, there was no way she wouldn't see it. I knew there was a slim chance she'd be allowed onto the laptop though.
But I needed the hope. I needed some hope.
A glance at the time kicked my anxiety up a notch. I wanted to be far out of town by the time everyone woke up. I had to go to Smoke. It was hard to talk to him, but I had gotten better over the years. Hopefully he'd understand and want to help.
Before I could do that I had to pull down the tree in my front yard to create a plausible excuse about why the door was busted in. Nothing else came to mind on how I could cover up that the door had been broken down. There wasn’t enough time to repair it, I needed to be gone tonight.
A heavy length of chain and the tow hitch should do the trick.
It had to. I had no other ideas. The old truck roared to life. Slowly, I lowered my foot on the gas. Had to build up to it gradually.
Pulling this tree down was a small heartbreak in a long series that I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from. That tree had always been a beautiful sight during the summer, even moreso in the fall when its leaves were reds and yellows. It was shade when I was reading. It was a place Granddad had hung a tire swing from even though I had complained the entire time about how I was far too old for such things. That had been more fun than I had ever admitted to him.
This tree was a spot to do some climbing, so I could see everything on the property. It was something that seemed like it was always going to be there.
I was pulled from my thoughts as the truck suddenly lurched forward. Looking in the rearview, expecting to see the tree in its final moments, instead I saw a giant blocking my window.
Rolling down the window would take too long - opening the door was quicker and I leaned out, shouting at the big man.
"Smoke! Move! Don't want the tree to hit you!"
My words were unfortunately lost on him. He kept pushing, so the best thing I could do was help and hope we both got out of the way in the process. I hit the gas hard, hearing a crack echo through the property. The side mirror showed the tree slowly falling to the ground, almost where I wanted it. Smoke was safe, but I stared at my fallen friend for a few moments, feeling a surprising emptiness before opening my car door.
As bad as I felt, Smoke probably felt worse. I knew he didn't like hurting things. Didn't hunt for his own food if he didn't have to, didn't have the heart to end another life. I gave him more than a little meat in the winters, my own kills from hunting - otherwise store-bought was fine.
He slipped back to his human form, going from a hulking giant to merely a very tall, thick man. Wolves tended to be all lean muscle, but Smoke was the exception.
He was an exception in so many small ways. As I walked to him, I was tongue tied, searching for what to say. Whether to comfort him for helping with the tree, wondering if I should just get to the point that I needed his help.
What I wasn’t ready for was the bruises on his face. My heart froze as the pieces fell into place.
I was an idiot.
Of course they'd find him. How could I be so stupid? If they went to town they'd find his scent and go after him. Snow's pack must have attacked him before coming for me. I felt an anger surge through me. A kind of anger I wasn't used to feeling.
The same feeling that had surged through me when Snow had first tried to take Tori away from me. When I had declared her mine. It felt as physical as it did emotional.
Someone had come into my territory and hurt my friend. I could practically feel my bones wanting to change into a shape that would help me take revenge.
But that feeling was quenched by a deeper sadness I couldn't ignore.
This was my fault. Another person hurt because I fucked up. I hadn't even thought about Smoke. I should have gone to him right after I learned there was another pack. Smoke was hurt because I had neglected my duties. Granddad always said he wanted to be a buffer between worlds, to try and keep the peace.
Some buffer I was, couldn't even protect the one werewolf that lived here.
He looked so sad as we stepped closer, snow crunching under my boots - and his flipflops.
His deep baritone rang out first. "Gwen Silver. There is danger. Bad wolves here, bad pack."
"I know, Smoke. I'm so sorry." I wanted to reach out and embrace him and comfort him, but I knew he could be a bit jumpy. I didn't want to stress him out any more. "I can't seem to do anything right the last few days. Are you okay? Is your den okay? I should have come to you."
That den was incredibly important to the big wolf, despite the fact that he squatted in an abandoned house with no power and no running water. It was his space and it felt like it. He loved every square inch of that little hovel and there was no way to miss that.
One meaty hand reached out, touching my face with practiced, measured gentleness. Our black eyes didn’t quite match, but they weren’t too far off either.
"Gwen Silver is hurt." There was so much pain in those words. A crushing sadness as he looked around, taking everything in. Including the fallen tree. Without warning, the big man lunged at me, huge arms wrapping around me and squeezing, nearly lifting me off the ground in his hug. "All of everything is hurt."
How anyone could hurt this man was far, far beyond my understanding. He had already endured so much and it was obvious in his every word, his every movement. It felt a bit selfish, Smoke was hurting as much as I was, but I let him comfort me for a few moments before I returned the hug.
River and her pack had often given me kind words, but rarely did I receive comfort like this. Rarely was anyone around to provide it. I was about to leave everything behind and it was nice to have someone there.
As much as I wanted to stay in this embrace, I knew we needed to get moving. I pushed against Smoke, letting him know I needed the hug to end, and I took a few steps away when he released me. It would be easiest to explain this to Smoke without words. Something he'd immediately understand.
I didn't know how the transformation worked exactly. It had happened on instinct during the fight with Snow. I read about it in some of Granddad's books, and I had heard River instructing Lily on her transformation - it was always explained as being a balancing act between pushing your body to the next form yet grabbing onto something that you could use to pull you.
It was hard to explain. Most things in this world were.
I grabbed onto the only thing I had - the anger I had felt. The way my bones and muscles wanted me to take revenge. I tried to visualize becoming the brute. Bigger. Stronger. When I reached for it, it almost felt like something reached back. My bones cracked as my body restructured itself. It hurt, yet that pain made me feel alive. It was invigorating after my body was stable, the brute. That anger was still there, but I was doing my best to squash it down.
I looked up at Smoke, still taller than me but I had closed the gap a little. There didn’t seem to be any way he wouldn’t understand what had happened.
Smoke brightened as if he had been lit from inside. A wide, joyous smile spread across his face and he reached for me again, wrapping me in another tight embrace. One that was now much easier to endure.
"Gwen Silver is wolf! We tell Packleader. Gwen Silver can join pack! Family!"
The joy didn’t last. He released me, his face falling. Smoke’s emotions were always as big as he was, and I didn’t think I had ever seen him hide them.
He was crying.
I reached forward to comfort him when I felt my bones starting to crack again. I was running on empty and couldn't maintain the form. My vision went white for a moment and when it cleared I was laying on the ground and staring up at Smoke.
"It's okay, Smoke." I tried to comfort him as I pulled myself up into a sitting position against the tires. He looked worried, but I needed to explain. I needed his help. "I talked to River. She said to come to her. River told me to ask you to guide me to her. Will you? I'm sure Lily would be happy to see you."
His eyes always clouded up when his daughter was mentioned in the winter, when he was without the pack to help him. The back of a big hand wiped tears away from his face. He stood there, gathering his thoughts and his words before he looked down at me with his answer.
"It will be a long, long run, Gwen Silver. Long long, many days."
I couldn't help but laugh a little. In relief mostly. Despite everything that happened, my friends were still here for me. River was going to take me in. Smoke would lead me to her. I wasn't sure if I'd officially be part of her pack or not, I didn't know the ins and outs of a Turned joining a pack.
But there was somewhere safe for me to go.
Unlike Tori.
My heart dropped a bit at the thought, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I'd see her again. I knew I would. I'd find her, I wouldn’t let Snow keep her. But I needed to learn first.
"Can't wolf yet." I shook my head as I pulled myself back to my feet, giving the truck a loving pat after. It only had one last journey it needed to make. "This will get us there. Or, part of the way at least. It'll keep us warm and safe for the journey. Ever ridden in a truck before?"
Smoke put his hand next to mine on the truck, nodding with a seriousness I wasn’t used to seeing on him. "Long run for truck, longer for wolf."
The moment was tense. I couldn’t remember right then if it was closed-in spaces or wide-open spaces that made him jittery. Was he going to be okay in the passenger seat for hours on end? What was I going to do if he freaked out on the road? I’d seen the aftermath before, he’d been damn near catatonic. Could he navigate for us? And, of course, a pang of guilt for needing him despite his struggles. Growing up the way poor Smoke had was unfathomable. Anyone would be damaged by that.
If he had an episode, we’d wait. I’d call Lily and we’d wait it out. Time was really all I had right then.
Without warning, Smoke stepped back, vaulting into the bed of the truck. That broke the tension.
"Alright big guy,” I laughed. “If you want to ride back there for a bit that's fine."
I shook my head and got back into the truck. It would probably be a bit before we hit a major road or saw a cop. He could ride in the back for a bit before I got him up front.
The sun was coming up. We needed to go. I had to pause for one last look though. I never left this place for long. Usually, I only left to go into the city for supplies that couldn't be bought at the Windy Market. This was the first time in over a decade where I wouldn't be coming home to sleep in my bed the next day.
Even when I did, it wouldn't be the same.
The tree was in the open doorway, giving a plausible explanation about why it was busted in. Animals might come in and run rampant, looking for a warmer place to be. Wouldn't be warm for too long though and who knew what the winter would do to it. After generations in my family, this could be the end for the old house.
"Goodbye, Granddad." I whispered to myself as I finally put the truck in drive and made my way down the driveway. I pulled open the rear window so I could talk to Smoke. "Point the way, Smoke. Away from Riverford and to Where the River Crashes Upon the Rocks."