Chapter Fifteen

Tori

The silverware gleamed. The pristine white tablecloth gently hugged the gold-leafed plates, carefully laid out at the table for four. Teacups to match, waiting on tiny saucers, more gold leaf on each. A glimmering chandelier of dancing crystal hung above, casting tiny rainbows on everything.

The room around felt as big as the world. I was used to being able to sense how close things were, how big a space was without looking. Off to the sides, away from the light of the chandelier, there was nothing. The room just faded to blackness out of the circle of illumination, nothing but a void beyond.

The smell of a pot roast, steaming with potatoes and carrots and the scent of fresh bread came suddenly, and when I looked, my plate was full. All four of them were. Full and beautiful in a way that made my heart ache unexpectedly.

“It smells good, doesn’t it?”

My eyes went to the voice, to the breathtaking woman with the dark red hair and the ruby red lips smiling with appreciation and love. Shining, smiling golden yellow eyes watched me, drank in my reaction with glee, pleased that I was excited about the food.

Alpha? That was the word I tried to form, but from my lips came another. “Mom?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” Alpha answered me softly, eagerly. An idle finger wrapped about the string of pearls draped around her neck.

A male voice joined the conversation. Unfamiliar. “What is it?” Looking over, to Alpha’s right was a tall, broad-shouldered man with shoulder-length hair, a square jaw sporting a dusting of stubble, enough to make him look rugged and powerful without being scraggly. And yellow eyes. “Everything okay? Usually you can’t wait to dig into pot roast.”

I looked to the final chair and saw… me. Tori Tanner. With a smile on her face that looked like she’d never had a hard day in her life. She ate, bite after bite of the perfect dinner.

“We love you sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re in my life. I’m so thankful for you.” Alpha reached out and stroked the cheek of the other me, who lit up.

I felt a touch as well, the man’s hand. Big and broad and warm, gently running a hand over my hair. “Couldn’t have said it better. No one could ask for a better daughter. I’m proud of you, kiddo.”

He looked at me, he smiled at me, and my heart wanted to burst.

“Thanks Dad.” It was the other Tori answering. He was touching her, not me. I wasn’t at the table at all. I was standing outside, watching.

Filthy.

The rain cascaded over me, running brown from my grimy body, splashing onto my furred feet.

Inside Tori was happy, her mother reached over and scritched behind white wolf ears that poked out from her perfect hair.

◐

I woke with tears in my eyes, tears I didn’t understand. I felt terrible, weary and drained and empty, with no idea why - until I opened my eyes and saw the bars. Until I remembered where I was.

Stretching, my front paws forward and my back paws straight, I yawned with my tongue lolling from my mouth before I reversed, standing on my front legs and letting the back dangle while I pulled myself forward.

I wondered if they had even started looking for me yet.

They had to have, right? They had to be out searching. The snow would slow them down, but Alpha would look for me. She’d have Fang and Spike searching. She found me once, in much more difficult circumstances, she’d find me again.

She’d saved me from worse. Maybe not quite as humiliating as this situation, but certainly more dangerous ones. I forced my shape, through the dire, through the brute, and back to me. It hurt, each step of the way it hurt differently. My chest, my hanging ribs. The ankles were agony in the shift from the dire to the brute, they always were. So was the face.

But it was momentary, and it passed.

The bracelets didn’t, however. They were still there after the shift, wrapping around my wrists in a mocking way. I decided against trying to remove them - I could probably slip them, they stretched and bent, but I didn't know what they were going to do.

They had given Gwen confidence though, and that was enough to give me pause.

The oversize t-shirt still waited for me in the middle of the cage. Pulling it on, I found that it hung well over my thighs. Enough to cover me somewhat, but I still needed some damned pants. Backing up, I pressed my back into the corner of the cage, crossing my arms and waiting, watching the stairs.

I hated waiting.

By the time Gwen came downstairs, I was fuming. I had gone back to wolf form so I could pace - I would have paced in my human form if I could stand up, but the wolf was the only one with room to walk and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to just sit still and slowly go insane.

While she finally came down the stairs, I shifted back, pulling the t-shirt on again.

“Morning Victoria.” She called as she walked down the stairs. “Time for breakfast.”

My growl couldn’t have been more plain if I had been the wolf. "About fucking time. I've been awake for hours with nothing to do." I hadn't realized how much I enjoyed the freedom I had with the pack in the mornings until then. How I could go out for a run as the sun rose, I could go hunt something small for myself, or I could find someplace sunny to relax. Just waiting around was awful.

The smell of bacon, eggs, and toast was almost enough to cool my temper. Almost.

"I did ask last night if you wanted a TV to watch." She placed the plate down in the usual spot, dropping her duffel bag next to the folding chair, the straps well out of reach. "I didn't get a 'no' to that question but you certainly didn't say yes. If you’re good today, maybe I’ll ask again before it’s time for bed."

I sneered at her in response, waiting for her to step away before I pulled the plate into the cage. I stuffed a handful of scrambled eggs into my mouth before complaining. "Your basement reeks of metal and humans, stale air and chemicals." Bacon followed. The food was good at least, but again she hadn't provided me any utensils. I was used to eating without them but I still preferred a fork. "There's no air, there's no sunlight."

I hated that she had phrased it as being good. I wasn't her fucking dog. If she wanted to play alpha, fine - but part of being alpha was being constantly challenged.

"I'm used to roaming the wilds. You can't imagine how awful it is being trapped in one place, barely able to move for someone who's used to running through the woods at dawn."

"I suppose not. At least not with the instincts werewolves apparently have." She talked, but I mostly ignored her, shoveling food into my mouth. "I grew up in the city. Didn't care for it much. Got this place when Granddad died. I stay in place mostly out of necessity. Like I said, a pack has territory here and I act as the buffer between the two worlds. Leaves winters quiet at least. Until now anyway."

"Yeah, again, fuck me for trying to buy some snacks." I stuffed the last of the bacon in my mouth and wiped my hand on my shirt. "So fine, what lesson do you want me to learn before you let me go? I won't attack humans and I'll keep an eye out for hunters." I held up my palm, showing the crescent moon burn from her front door. "And I'll be careful about silver. Honestly, if I never go into another town, I'm fine with it."

"Well, like I said, you need to learn to behave."

I glared at her, pushing the plate back out of the cage. She couldn’t leave me be. She had to keep pushing.

"If you can't even take someone calling you runt," she leaned on the word, aiming a handful of salt at the open wound, "then you're too dangerous to leave."

My chest tightened, my glare never dropped, but I didn't react. "There. No snapping, no yelling. I'm cured. Call me a runt all you want, whatever. I just want out of here." A chill swept through me, raising goosebumps on my arms, turning my stomach ever so slightly. It felt like the AC in the room kicked on or something, my skin started feeling cold, like the temperature just dropped ten degrees.

I couldn't remember the last time I felt cold inside a building - if anything, it was always too warm. Breakfast wasn't sitting quite right, I felt a little queasy.

"Really? You want to prove you can listen and behave." Staring me down, a smile curled her lips slowly and she pointed at the ground. "Lay down."

My jaw ached from the previous day, but it was either grit my teeth or scream. She was trying to humiliate me. "Look, I get it. I got mad when you challenged me." I crossed my arms over my chest, keeping that solid eye contact. "I'm not going to get mad. I'll control my temper when I'm around fragile fucking humans."

"I didn't ask if you were going to get mad." Her inflection, her body language, her eyes - everything said she was intentionally challenging me. "What I said was 'lay down'".

I couldn't tell if she actively expected me to obey or if she was just testing me, but it was pissing me off. "I don't see what me obeying you proves. I'm not a dog. You're challenging me, you're staring me right in the eyes and saying things you know will piss me off. I'm. Not. Mad."

"I heard ya." The smile shifted, hardened, but it was still there. "But you'll probably leave here eventually. You're not gonna be a lone wolf forever. When the Packleader says jump, you jump. When they say you're going hunting, you hunt. I'm the alpha here and I said to lay down. You don't need to understand. You need to listen, runt."

I was seething, she was being deliberately cruel. But what was I going to do? Jump at the bars? She had me.

I broke eye contact with her, fuming, and laid down in the cage silently.

You're real fuckin' big, human. I'm going to make you pay for this.

“Good girl.” The words burned, the anger warmed the chill inside me for the briefest moment, but it didn’t last. “We agreed last night that you’d wear this during the day.”

I looked up, eye to steel with the collar she was holding through the bars. She stacked humiliation upon humiliation. I sat up, keeping my jaw clenched tight as I took the collar from her.

Raising it to my neck, I snapped it closed. My lips were so tight they hurt and my breath heaved in my chest. I wanted to tear her limb from fucking limb. I wanted to eat her intestines while she watched and I didn't even like organ meat.

In my mind, I was killing her over and over and over. But I said nothing.

“Good girl.” The duffel bag dropped on the workbench. She talked to me over her shoulder, not even looking at me. Humiliation coiled inside me. I wasn’t a threat to her this way, and she was showing me how little worry she had. "Need to use the bathroom? I guess you can take a quick shower if you like. After that I have to go get some work done."

"Yes." My teeth stayed clenched for my one word answer. I bowed my head as I waited for her to open the door. I had spent a lot of time staring at that room, inventorying every item nearby that could be used as a weapon since I had nothing else to do. One heavy object hurled at her head from five feet away would be enough.

I could tear a chunk of the stair railing and stab her with it, I just needed to stun her first. And there was that stray cinder block waiting near the door to the storeroom - she had likely been using it as a doorstop.

This was it.

She didn’t have a weapon, no spear, no gun, not even the cane as she unlocked the cage and opened it. Her step backward was quick enough however.

“Alright. Let’s head over then.”

I crawled out of the cage carefully, trembling with anger. She wasn't stepping back. I was within her five foot bubble, but I knew she could turn it off temporarily.

I walked toward the storeroom calmly, my heart pounding, my skin cold and clammy. Just like the previous night, she let me go first, staying behind me. When I was close enough, I dashed, moving quickly to scoop up the cinder block... and I couldn't lift it with one hand.

What the fuck? It was too heavy.

"Something wrong?" Gwen tilted her head like she was confused, a horrifying twinkle of amusement in her eyes. "Door will stay open on its own. I don't think you need that."

I felt sick. And afraid.

My strength was gone. Adrenaline was rushing through me, so I reached for the brute, for the wolf. Fear made the change easier than rage at times... but it wasn't there.

I couldn't shift.

And Gwen knew something. I could hear the smirk in her voice.

It wasn't the collar, it wasn't the bracelets, there was no shock at all. I stood there panicking, frozen there in front of the door.

"What did you do to me."

“Oh just a little witchcraft. Not magic, not really.” She shrugged like I had asked if it was cold today.

“...witchcraft?” Even I could hear the tremor in my voice. “You said you’re not a witch… “

“Nope. Never even met a witch - witchcraft is more of a… general art. Nothing to worry about. You weren’t planning on challenging me, right?”

I shook my head, my eyes going to the ground. "No... I'm not challenging you... "

With a sinking feeling, I walked into the bathroom, waiting to see what she would do. Was she going to leave me alone while she showered? Even with my wolf gone, I could use her spear against her, it was in the other room...

But what had she done? Was it permanent? Was I human? Did I even want to be?

“Good girl.” She kept saying that, but this time there was no rage, just a cold, sinking feeling. She leaned against the wall casually, with all the confidence in the world. “Then we’ll figure out what we should do today.”

My jaw ached from clenching constantly all morning, now that I had relaxed those muscles the ache was so much clearer. I moved in a daze, barely perceiving my surroundings as my mind spun wildly, trying to figure it out.

If the wolf was gone… could I live among humans? Would they still hate me instinctively? Could it be a chance at a normal life? And did I want that? The ache in my chest at these thoughts, thoughts and feelings I’d never dealt with before, matched the ache in my jaw.

Mechanically, my body stepped into the shower, turning on the cold water and letting it flow through my hair, down my body as I stared into the tiled wall as if it held the answers. The cold water was cold, in a way that wasn’t refreshing.

But my mind was elsewhere. I buried my fingers in my hair, staggered at what this meant. Would I have to leave the pack? Unexpected tears burned the backs of my eyes, spilling over, washed away by the frigid shower.

I loved Alpha. I loved Fang. Spike could go die in a fire, but the other two? They were hard on me, they hurt me, they humiliated me… but they loved me in a way that no human ever had. On cold nights in the wild, the four of us would huddle together, our bodies in one big pile of fur and warmth. Would I never get to feel that closeness again?

My heart was breaking at the thought. Of trying to make a life in the human world, in some soulless, filthy city surrounded by humans that didn’t care that they had fucked everything up so bad the very seasons were changing. Hunting grounds were moving as a result of their evil. Could I live around that?

Could I live with myself?

I felt cold inside, deep, deep inside to my very core. The world was spinning around me, shifting and moving, and the nausea grew worse.

I managed one last thought before I passed out.

Oh. I’m vomiting.