Gwen
Her shove pushed me back several steps but I kept my feet. Barely, but I did. She couldn't pretend anymore. Not after she leaned in to kiss me after I had parted from her. I could feel how badly she needed me from how desperately she clung to me.
But then that little voice that was telling her to reject what she wanted apparently spoke up.
"Tori." I spoke to her gently, taking my place over her again. Looking down on her, control and comfort. "You can't pretend anymore. You let it slip. Why push away something you want? How does that do anything but make you sad? I want you to feel good."
"No... I want to lay down. Leave me alone." She snarled, showing teeth and raising her hands to ward me off, fingers curled like claws.
"You don't have claws, Tori." I stood near her, calmly, unthreatening but dominant. I wanted so badly to touch her, to comfort her and hold her. I was so close. She was so close to opening up to me fully, I could almost taste it. "Open up to me, Tori. I was open with you. Why are you so ashamed of what you want?"
"You're not my mate!" Her eyes were wild, half-crazed like a cornered animal as she made eye contact. She was in fight-or-flight. Backed into a corner. She was dangerous like this. "You're not. You kidnapped me. And if you don't let me go, my Alpha is going to tear you to pieces!"
"I'm not particularly afraid of your alpha." She had let it slip earlier, when she had mentioned leftovers and errands. I had already worked through my surprise. I wasn't sure what I was up against yet, but with enough preparation I was sure I'd be fine. "Your alpha left you in the dark and vulnerable. How trustworthy are they?"
She was so naive, her Packleader had taught her next to nothing and had made me so angry when I figured it out. She deserved so much better.
Tori looked down, her arms lowering and her body trembling. She was trying to hide it, but she was crying. "Just let me go. You say you don't want to fight wolves, just let me go and my pack will move on."
"Hopefully we don't have to fight. It'll probably be a few days before they find this place anyway. It's not like you left them a trail. Three feet of snow fell after you got here and high winds have disrupted your scent." I knelt down in front of and tried to tip her head up again so she'd look at me. "And let's say they do come. Why not enjoy yourself while you can? If they come and save you, when are you ever going to get to have these things available to you again? Why not just let yourself have fun while you can?"
She shook her head and there was such a deep pain in her eyes. My heart ached for her. "No, my alpha would be so ashamed of me... " She blushed, but still she leaned into my hand, nuzzling me again. I was hoping that meant I was a comforting presence to her now, one she was seeking out. "I shouldn't have gotten captured. I shouldn't have ended up in this situation... I'm going to be in so much trouble."
I gently stroked her cheek with my thumb as I thought about what to say.
"Tori." I grasped for the words that might make it through to her. "There was nothing you could have done. You were not prepared for something like me. I'm not trying to insult you or make you feel bad. I knew what you were. Had you tried to attack me I had other ways to take you down. I had a silver dagger in the front seat of my truck. I could have easily grabbed it at any point had you tried to attack me. I'm sorry hun, but she should be ashamed about how unprepared he left you. You did the best you could have hoped to do. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of."
"You might know a pack but you don't know what it's like to be in a pack. I'm the runt. I should have run away and gotten help." She was fighting tears with everything she had. And she didn’t have much left.
She leaned forward, inviting me, and I accepted. With as much warmth as I could muster, I wrapped my arms around her and held her the way I had been longing to since I had first seen her.
"You're right, Tori. I don't know what it's like to be in a pack."
"She forbade me from doing anything but getting her snacks and beer and going back to the den. She's going to be furious at me. Please... Gwen, please. Let me go. Let me go back to my pack. I'll... I'll ask Alpha to come talk to you."
Her Packleader was female. Not much of a surprise, most Packleaders were female. Hell, most werewolves were female.
"I know you tried to make the correct decisions and weren't given the tools to navigate the situation. Had you ran I'd have found your den . I want to stress that I wouldn't have hurt them, but I'd have been watching your pack the rest of your time here or until your alpha figured it out."
There were no good answers here. If her Packleader was the insecure jerk I expected, she'd retaliate against Tori if I let her go. There was a chance the entire group might leave. There was a greater chance that her ‘alpha’ would come here regardless of whether I let Tori go. So why let her go when it seemed inevitable?
I sighed. "I think I need to try and contact River."
"No. No other packs, no other alphas." She shook her head quickly, a different kind of fear in her eyes. A fear I found suspicious. "Just... let me go. I'll explain that it was my fault, that this is another pack's turf, and we'll move on."
"I don't think that's feasible, Tori." I forced a small smile. I was hoping I could get through to her again. Now there was fear and anxiety in the way, rather than the anger and pride I had been facing so far. "There's a high chance she'll at least hurt or kill me, even if you give her the nicest possible report. You haven't painted a particular sympathetic picture of her and I'm afraid she'll hurt you as well. River can act as a balance between the two of us, potentially keeping things civil."
One moment, I was cradling her, searching for the cracks in her panic the same way I had found the cracks in her rage. The next moment, my throat was in her hand. The world went up, then down, my back hitting the ground harder than I would have liked.
"Listen to me." There was a dead calm in her voice. She was begging me, she was pleading in her own way. She had me, she could have torn my throat out right then. "No other wolves. Let me go. Set your traps, but Alpha- my alpha won't come for you. Please."
There was no malice in her. She was afraid for me. Tori was lashing out because she was afraid I’d get hurt. That knowledge gave me the power I needed to stay calm.
"Tori." I reached up the best I could and stroked her cheek. "Do you really think what you'll say will determine what your alpha will do? I have a hard time believing she'll stand for this kind of perceived insult. If you try to defend me it'll just be further proof I need to be dealt with."
Her grip relaxed as I caressed her. "Dammit Gwen." When she released me, she didn’t retreat back to her perch, she laid down with me on the floor, curling into me with tears in her voice. "Listen to me. I've been traveling with this pack for four years. I know how she'll react better than you." Weariness was wilting her. "Just... no other wolves. Alpha doesn't like it when others tell her how to run her pack."
"Alright. So tell me then." I stroked her hair, trying to ignore the pain in my back. "How is she going to react when she learns what happened? That I don't like how she's doing things? I feel that hearing it from a human is more insulting than another werewolf."
"It's going to be a lot worse if she comes here and she finds me in a fucking cage." She sounded sullen, guilty as she continued. "She's coming here. She knows where I am. I told her tonight, when I howled."
That was bad.
I sighed, her head moving up and down with my breath. "Alright. That's definitely a problem. I'd ask where your den is, but I have a feeling you won't tell me."
I stared up at the ceiling while I took a moment to think. This was something I should have realized immediately, once I figured out that she had a pack. It wasn't a question about if they could find this place. It was a question of when.
"If you're by the lake we have a bit of time before they'd find this place. The town is between here and the lake so they'll probably check there and get stuck for a while. If you're not... well for all I know they could be outside right now." I caught her eyes as she looked up at me. There was a sweetness to her being worried for me. "I suppose running wouldn't do much good, even if I wanted to. You can't really say with a straight face that letting you tell her what happened will do any good for either of us."
"I'll... say I escaped." I could almost hear the weight of her thoughts. "That you're friends with another pack, she'll want to move on. I won't... say anything about... what you did to me... "
I laughed. I couldn't help it. "You escaped from the person who wounded your leg? I know you're trying, Tori, but I really don't think that particular choice will make things better. I think that's the kind of story that'll get me hunted."
I took a moment to just look at her. To really take her in. She had mostly been calm today in her wolf form, but this was really the first time we'd been this close without her heavily on that potion or on the edge of attacking me. I liked her more than I thought I would. I really didn't think this was where we'd be right now.
“Yeah… “
"Speaking of things I've done to you, tell me, why won't you accept that you like certain things?" I started to stroke her hair again as I spoke, hoping to keep her calm. "There's nothing wrong with liking these kinds of things."
"I don't." It was more a whine than a biting retort. "I don't want to be collared, I don't want to be in a cage." She sighed, not realizing that it was pretty obvious she was trying to convince herself and not me. "I don't know why I'm even talking to you right now, I don't know why I'm trusting you at all. It doesn't make any sense - I should be choking you to death right now... I feel... calm and I don't get it. Maybe... maybe you're right and... "
"Shhh...." I continued to stroke her hair, it seemed to be helping to keep her calm. "It's okay. You don't need to figure it out right now. Sometimes the things people like are hard for them to accept. They feel confusing for some people. You are, however, talking to someone who sold a collar to someone last week with an engraving that said 'Bitch.' And I don't think that was for his dog."
Her face turned into my breast as her cheeks lit up again. Her blush was so captivating. Innocence from a predator. She had missed out on so much in life, she was a hardened killer in some respects, in others she was a child. But in matters of romance, she seemed stuck in her teenage years, wanting love so badly but fearing it just as deeply.
Another sigh from her. "Maybe... but I can't stay with you. I'm a creature of the wild. You can't keep me until spring. You can't - I have to go back to my pack."
"How is going with them any different than staying here?" I asked, feeling something I wasn't expecting. I was sad that she wanted to leave while things were suddenly going better. I wasn’t ready for her to go. I was beginning to realize I needed her as much as she needed me. "Werewolves find or make a den somewhere and hang out in an area for a while. The farm is in the countryside surrounded by the forest. It is in the wilds."
"They're my pack. They're my family." Every word was a tiny heartbreak. "Alpha found me, taught me what I am, and saved me from the hell that my life was... I'm loyal." She stammered, rushing to add to that. "I'm loyal to my pack. I'm not loyal like a dog."
"I don't know what she saved you from exactly, but just because she helped you doesn't mean you have to spend your life paying it back. That's one reason I never planned on keeping you here forever." I sighed and looked back at the ceiling. So close, yet so far away. Her walls were coming down only so she could leave me. "You have to let things you love go eventually. Let them make their own decisions. I wanted you to have better tools when you had the option to leave. Your alpha seems to have left you in the dark about a lot of things and I think you deserve to have a better teacher."
I had been caught up in my own sadness, she got the drop on me again. My guard was slipping around her. She pulled herself up, wrapping her hands around my throat. She wasn’t hurting me, she wasn’t cutting off my blood flow, but she was glaring down at me.
"Let. Me. Go. We're done discussing."
I did my best not to react again. I should have been afraid, but I wasn't convinced she'd do it. I just did what I did before and stroked her cheek.
"And what's your plan if I tell you no?" I asked, tilting my head as far as I could with her hands around my throat. "Going to chew through the metal door?"
It was the wrong move.
Her hands tightened into a blood choke. Even in her human form, she was stronger than me. No wolf was ever supposed to get this close to me.
My right hand fought her while my left went to my pocket.
"Let go... Tori." I managed to choke out. She'd have a very rough time if she didn't.
I shouldn’t have been giving her another chance, I was gambling with my life on this one… but I didn’t want to hurt her.
It wasn’t mutual, it seemed. She lifted me by the throat, slamming me into the ground. As the stars took over my vision, I pushed the button. My “oh shit” button. All the whistles went off at once, louder than they had before. My heart broke as consciousness left her, a line of blood trickling from one ear. We were very close to one of the speakers.
I was devastated that I had to do it. I had been so close, we had been so close. Walls were coming down between us, but I couldn’t simply let her go. It was too dangerous for both of us. As quickly as I could, I held the button to the silently screaming whistles, sitting up and pulling her into my lap.
“I’m so sorry, Tori. My tears fell on her face as I wiped away the blood. It wasn’t supposed to do that. “I’m going to figure this out.” I could only hope that the damage from the whistles healed. Sound wasn’t silver, even if she was sensitive to it, there was nothing supernatural about it. Hopefully it would heal faster than her leg.
After that I couldn't just let her stay outside of the cage. I had things that needed doing. I carried her to the cage, gave her a kiss on the forehead, gently slid her in, and locked it.
I just stood there looking at her for minutes, watching the rise and fall of her chest, wiping away more tears. Laying down next to her had felt so nice. It was sad this was where we were again. But I had some problems I needed to fix.
I looked back at her one last time before heading upstairs.