Scene: Crimes of Terror

"I wanna be a Dependent," I said with a pout. "I got the bunny, I got the diapers, I got the pretty clothes!"

Why were they making this difficult on me? Why were they making me have to work for this? I had done everything right, and by that I mean wrong!

"This isn't a vacation!" the man in uniform said. "Do you know what they do to you? They ruin you. They break your brain. They turn you into a pile of mush, and then they condition you to make piles of mush in your diapers!"

The man paced around the room with remarkable agitation. It had been the sixth time I had come to see him. Finally he slammed his hands down on the table.

"This program is for criminals. Threats to our country. You aren't a threat to anyone."

"I am so too a threat!" I shouted back. "I got a C minus in my History class, and I have like thirty dollars in late fees at Blockbuster! I wanna be a Dependent, so you're supposed to make me one."

I pulled my purse up and took a piece of candy out of it and unwrapped it, just so I could drop the wrapper on the floor.

"Lookie, I'm a litterbug too!"

The man smacked his own face in annoyance.

"This isn't a game. If you go through this, you can't ever come back? You'll be a little diaper girl for the rest of your life. Is that really what you want?"

"Uh, duh!"

"I can't believe I'm doing this," the man muttered. "But you've wasted so much of my time this month that it might as well be a federal offense..."

The man took his badge and set it down on the table.

"Take that and go to the third floor, room 312. You'll be charged for crimes of terror, and then there's no going back."

After that, the man left.

I hesitated, my hand hovering over the badge. I thought about the humiliation of crawling around the floor of some middle-class living room, wearing a frilly pink dress with my hair up in pigtails. I thought about the shame of filling my diapers as Mommy and Daddy watched, unable to control myself. I thought about the condescending sounds of cooing in my ear as I was bounced on the laps of all Mommy and Daddy’s friends, drooling and helpless and oblivious to the wrongness of it all.

So of course I took the badge.