Chapter 12

“Why?”

He shot up in bed, startled to hear her voice. He blinked the sleep from his eyes, but there was something wrong. This wasn’t his bedroom.

“Why?”

He heard her voice again, and tried to focus on where it came from. He stood up, and the minute he was off of his bed, it disappeared, leaving him standing in a stark white room. He blinked and the white room was gone, replaced by his childhood living room, complete with bay window. In that window sat a young girl. She turned to him, and he saw himself.

“Why?” she asked again, her eyes boring a hole straight through him.

He just stared, trying to comprehend what his mind was presenting him with. He didn’t know how to answer.

“Why did you bring me back?” she asked. “You said you didn’t want me around anymore.” She said through gritted teeth.

“I made a terrible mistake…I was scared…I didn’t realize how much I needed you.” he admitted shamefully.

She looked at him, eyes filled with tears. She looked longingly around the room, then back at him. “We used to play here…every day. I thought those days would never end…but…well, we all grow up don’t we?”. She began to sob. “You grew up and you were so sad. You were miserable and I just wanted to help, to bring you joy like I used to…”

“I…I think I understand now” he began. “You’re the part of me that found wonder and joy in everything I did aren’t you? You helped me see countless worlds and took me on amazing adventures. I thought you were just childish, that I had to grow up, but you were always there. You just adapted. My sense of humor, the fascination when I would start a new game, how I can imagine everything described in a book, the warmth I feel when finding a new food, that…that’s all you…isn’t it?”

She nodded slowly. “Y…yeah, that’s me…People think that when they grow up, they can’t do childish things anymore, that they can’t have that wonder, but that’s just not true. You were so sad, and we used to have so much fun playing, I thought that we could do that again. I thought that I could take you back, remind you how good this world can be. I wasn’t trying to hurt you…”

“So, those things Maturity was saying…were they true?”

She looked down at her feet before answering. “…Yes, that was the plan, but you have to understand, I was never going to put you in a position of danger. No one was going to know, it was just something you could do in private to help feel better, calmer, I swear. I was going to try and convince you, but if you ever gave me a reason to believe that doing so would hurt you in any way, I would never have forced it…” she said, her voice pleading, scared.

“I believe you, and I am sorry I reacted how I did, but you can understand how that must’ve sounded to me, right?”

She nodded meekly.

“I want you to come back, and I will hear you out, but we have to go slowly, and you have to promise not to push me, ok? I need to do this at my own speed, and that means if we stop at Rufus, then we stop at Rufus.”

She nodded and began to cry softly. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry I hid things from you. I won’t hide anything from now on, pinky promise.”

“And I’m sorry I sent you away. I should never have done that, and you have my word that I’m never going to send you away again…pinky promise.”

He extended his hand, pinky outstretched and nodded for her to do the same. She intertwined her pinky with his and they shook, sealing the deal. He pulled her in to an embrace and said “I love and accept you as a part of me, now and forever.”. As those words passed his lips, the scene exploded in a blinding light and he awoke in his bed, Rufus clutched in his arms, tears streaming down his cheeks. As he sat himself up he remembered what she had said to him before their trip to Build-A-Bear. The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step. He smiled and laughed to himself. “That was one hell of a first step.”.

End