Coda: A tourist in the world beneath.

12 Floréal Year CCXXXI, Potat, South Windland, Libertalia - Amazonia

Collins made his way into Engineering; he had received an invitation from a one Commander Powell regarding an important opportunity for bright students with potential. After hours of course. It was late. The surprise retirement party had gone on a bit past everyone's bedtimes, and Collins had had a bit too much cake and ice cream. He was tired and getting cranky. The lights on the building were still running despite the fact that no one should be here. He opened the unlocked doors and made his way towards the new wind-tunnel addition to the East side of the building.

Collins had been meaning to check out what exactly was going on here for a few weeks, but he had been distracted with his doctorate. He had spent twenty years moving slowly and now everything was about to go too fast. He took a second to collect himself before the final set of doors. He forced his tick back.

“Let's see what this stupid thing is all about.” Collins moved slowly into the room. Electricity hummed through the walls and the distant ceiling lights; it felt off. The room was a bit too bright, and as he blinked away, he saw a little across the room. Then his eyes went wide.

“You're not from around here.” It was a stereo response from both men.

“Jinx” Oliver Swift said quickly.

Crap. Wait, why do I care I just lost that? Collins had learned never to do something that childish on this planet about twenty years ago.

“Collins?” The other man asked.

That's weird.

“I'm Oliver Swift. I'm from Earth. As in Earth-Terra, and I think you're one of the ones I've been looking for.”

Don't panic. Just go with it, you will figure out a plan. You are smarter, faster, better... hmm he has some defenses, or maybe I am just drained.

“Um... this is kind of weird, but we're looking for the caretakers? Like the actual ones who built this world, not the big people. We're hoping they might be Nietzkies or can help us get in contact with them. I'm here in an official capacity as a diplomat of Earth.” Oliver offered.

“This isn't a good place to talk.” The two looked around, the room was empty, just a desk, a few chairs, and a wall of glass separating the wind tunnel from the rest of the room. “I have a safe place not far from here.”

“Sure, whatever.” Oliver was not in a gaming mood, but he knew he had all the cards. The two made their way out of the building and then slowly walked down the campus to a major street intersection. Oliver spent the journey trying to keep things as cool as he could. As they walked, he explained he was from Earth, that Earthlings had no ill will towards the Nietzkies, and that this was a genuine attempt to reach out. They crossed the street and then snaked their way into a McLittles.

The door handle was a bit high for them, but Collins hit the side button and the lobby was accessible. “Pretty neat there's a thirty-two hours McLittles just near the campus,” Collins proffered.

“Yeah, uh... sure I could use a McMuffin I guess. Do you guys have breakfast all day here or is that just the good dimensions?” Oliver teased.

Collins whispered back, “Don't eat the food here. It goes straight to the bowels.” He pointed to the playpen, and the two raced over to it. The staff of betweeners were distracted and bored, and not paying attention to the new entrants. This late they were barely watching the registers at the counter.

The ball pit was huge. Oliver was legitimately scared he would drown, but the bottom of the ball pit had a bit of a bounce to it and he was able to keep up with Collins. They made their way to the over twenty-foot slide, and once reached, Collins showed him a small building in the corner. It was filled with man sized statues of giant purple monsters, and robbers and clowns. Behind the wall, under the slide, there was a TV. It was off. It looked like it never saw use.

Collins began pushing the “buttons” below the TV at random. They did not even look like buttons, just colored wall decorations – circles and squares, there was no indicator that when he pushed them anything was happening. Once his combination was complete, the TV blinked on with a short text message on a black background.

“Portal destination locked in” It was followed by an address. There was hardly any sound as a rift opened behind the two boys.

“Um, Collins, that's only a seven-digit address. That's a sub-dimension.” Oliver explained.

“Yep. Scared? Don't be a baby. You want to talk, you have to do it in my secret club house,” Collins returned.

Sub-dimensions were nearly identical to the parent ones but often had just one or two minor differences. They were extremely dangerous to travel to because they were not stable and could easily pop a false vacuum collapse or suffered from Hubble constants near infinity. While the natives would not usually notice reality crumbling around them, the universes would become actively hostile to foreign invaders.

Bad luck, Deja-vu, overabundance of coincidences, bad dreams and nightmares, and Mandela effects. As the world got more and more unstable, reality would go to any length to smooth you into the dimension. Change your appearance, even change your memories.

Collins did not care about the risks. Ben had told him no at the party. All he wanted to do was see.

Collins stepped through the rift. Oliver was not going to be a baby. He stepped in too.

The other world was identical to the one just left. They were still in a McLittles, if not for minor differences in staff and lighting, Oliver may have been convinced they had not gone anywhere.

Collins directed him up the ladder to the top of the slide. He told Oliver what the stakes were. “Time is extremely unstable here. I think we're now a few weeks in the future.”

“Is this where you guys hide? In the sub-dimensions?” Oliver whispered his first question.

“Sometimes we get lucky, and they will pop up into a stable world, like Amazonia did, but yeah there's a trillion quadrillion Earths down here below the surface, and plenty of places to hide. The deeper you go the weirder they get. It's unsafe down here, but it's better than living up there.” Collins pointed towards the ceiling, as if that was the direction to another world.

They reached the top of the slide and looked out into the restaurant. It was now dinner time. The restaurant was not that busy, there were a handful of old couples. A mother with her daughter or little. A man came in with a wide double stroller with two boys. Everyone looked small from up here.

Collins sighed and then turned to Oliver. “You're one of them. A council world. I shouldn't even have showed you this.”

“We're also one of you, and they lied to us. We want to make amends, try to fix things. I realize things seem broken right now, but we want to be friends.” Oliver explained again.

“You're the ones that stopped us.” Collins objected.

“Terra's family. Our big brother. I know that makes things weird, but ...”

“No, we probably understand that better than anyone. If we had known, we probably wouldn't have gone there. Pangaea or Verdant maybe, but Terra was the juiciest. Twice the speed of anyone else.”

“We need a way to contact you guys. We have some big ideas and think you'd like some of them.” Oliver requested.

Collins got to the point, turning, “What do you guys want?”

“We want to play with the big kid toys.” AI, Genetic Engineering, Nanotech, Computer human interfaces, time manipulation, energy sources that were a bit more dangerous to play with than solar power and wind. And psionics. “They let us on the council, and they won't let us do anything. They're a bunch of hypocritical...”

“Careful, we're in a family place. Look, I appreciate it, I really do, but ...” Collins shrugged.

The Mandela wave rolled over the boys. Oliver watched as Collin's white t-shirt and jeans transformed into a green shirt, and light blue overalls. Collin's shoes turned green and white, and his laces turned to Velcro. Shock entered his face as his underwear expanded.

Oliver commented, “Uh... we should probably go...” a ripple like a heat wave flew in over the ball pit. Oliver watched it roar up the slide and then smack him dead on. His hair shortened into a boy cut, he lost whatever stubble he had on his face, his clothing turned into a match of Collins, only he had a red shirt to Collin's green. He looked down and saw an embroidered small red bomber plane on his left breast. He looked across at Collins. Oliver was dressed like his smaller younger friend, who had a similar embroider on his coveralls.

“See down there, that man and the two boys.” Collins pointed to them sitting at a table. Two kids emptying out their happy meals, two bouncy boys eagerly taking out their toys first and comparing them before eating. One happy father with a giant hamburger with a sesame seed bun.

“That's us.” Collins made the point flatly.

“I'm familiar with convergences.” Two sets of twins in one room? They should do a gum commercial.

“You don't understand. It's us - us. This universe is squeezing itself, and time flows wrong here. A few hours ago, I went to the Vice Regent. He, Professor Young, and I went to Professor Korge and asked him to resign. In my world, Young punched the older man. But here, Benjamin kept his cool and the three of them had a very important conversation. I tried my best to stop them, but they stuck together it was too hard to take on three at once. They eventually broke me and learned the truth. Then they went to engineering and found you. Ben adopted us and the university is trying to figure out what the next step is. I don't know what the future of littles will be on this world, but I suspect curing the coddling instinct is going to be a top priority. The small ones are not going to like what comes after diapers.”

“But we're not from around here, a dimension shouldn't have split like that.” Oliver looked at himself struggling to dip a chicken nugget into a sauce. The road not traveled. The boy was distracted and kept looking up at the play pen. Oliver wondered if his counterpart could see himself.

“Kind of funny how that works sometimes, right?” Collins asked, as if expecting an answer.

“Is this why you brought me here, as a warning to not get involved?” Oliver was concerned.

“What? No! It's because body swapping works best when you're going into an identical body.”

It's like going down the slide. One moment you're up and the next you are down, and there is lots of confusion in between. Oliver's entire perspective went through a tunnel, and then he was looking up at Benjamin. His mouth was full of chicken. He remembered to chew his food so he could take a breath. He was wearing the same outfit he had on at the top of the slide. Up there he could see a tiny Collins and himself. He looked to his left and saw Collins getting all wiggly and bouncy with his toy. It was a Naomi toy; the restaurant was out of the boy ones.

Oliver tried to point to the playpen. He tried to say stop, but his mouth was full of food. “Sluuide”

“Yes, yes, we can go down the slide once you finish your food. I think there will be time. Focus on eating.” Two babies were a bit much for Benjamin, but he loved them both so much. He had been taking them to McLittles because it seemed like the only thing to keep them in check. Tomorrow was going to be a big day. The world was about to be turned upside down.

Oliver swallowed the food. One big gulp. “Collins, help. We're up there. You're up there.” Collins looked at Oliver, he had a bit of lucidity, like he knew what might have happened. He smiled and then reached into a hug. It was a grandiose over the top gesture to maximize cuteness to anyone watching.

“It's OK, Ollie. It'll be OK. I know it's all new to you, but I know what's up. I lived here for a long time and knew what would come eventually, but you're not from around here.” While Oliver was in a hug, Collin's left arm reached and stole his brother's fries. Oliver was betrayed by the closest thing to a friend in this dimension.

“I wish I had my phone out to capture that moment. Ollie. My perfect little Ollie, I know it's hard, but your brother is right, you'll get used to this soon enough. That's why I brought you here, I know you've got all these big feelings in you, and you've been holding it in all day, but McLittles can help you with...” He just made a gesture with his hands and mouthed the word constipation.

Benjamin's face got down low, and he set down his burger. This close to Oliver, it was the only thing he could see. Face to face. “It would mean a lot to me if you just let it all out. Here, now, before your big day tomorrow, they might go easier on you if they think you're just a baby.”

Oliver's whole body trembled. He could feel the sweat building up in his diaper and crotch, and under his armpits. He closed his eyes, and the colon rumbled. His teeth did a clatter, and he opened his eyes again just to see Benjamin's face, close and concerned. His eyes wandered past Ben and looked at the menu board. The numbers next to the words were just squiggles.

“Ben, I'm sorry, I need to get up the slide. It's very important to me right now.”

“Poopies first baby Ollie.” Benjamin commanded.

“Yeah, baby Ollie, so baby he can't even poop like a baby” Collins chided him. “I'm all done. I wanna slide.” He started to push his brother out of the shared booth.

“Wait for your brother to finish Collie.” Collie? Like a dog? Collie and Ollie. Benjamin that's so unimaginative.

The greasy nuggets were going straight through him. Oliver was about to protest one more time. Goosebumps formed along his arms and back of neck. His eyes began to bulge. His vision split inward and then outward. A nose scrunched up and he made a small moan. He wanted to cry. The release was quick and small. His butt was now warm and wet.

Everyone who watched knew that look. “There. There, good boy. Good boy.” Ben picked up Oliver and held him up. He brought the small man's butt to his nose, and soft pat at the butt slightly to verify what had happened. The smell of victory, or defeat.

“Attention everyone!” Benjamin's voice was loud for the five other people in the lobby. The tweeners behind the counter stopped chatting and stood tall. The older couple and mother and daughter turned their heads to the standing Amazon and his boy. Oliver's face was red, and tears were coming down his face. “Little Ollie here isn't from around here and has not been with my new family very long. I want everyone to know he has just taken a big step with us today. He just made poopies in his diapers for the first time in over three decades.”

The whole restaurant was at applause, a cheer came from the older man, “Good job Ollie!”.

The tweeners knew what to do. They started clapping in unison, doing a bit of a jitterbug dance. There was even a song. Oliver couldn't hear the words, but the vibes were enough. Benjamin brought him up to the front counter. One tweener took out a small hat from a box near the ice cream machine. The colorful paper contraption went on Oliver's head like a crown and would fall off with the slightest breeze. A tweener asked him if he wanted to have cookies or a pie. Oliver did not know what he said, but a long green container was placed in his hands. The desert felt as warm as his butt.

Benjamin spoke to him, “You need to share the pie with your brother”

Why? He did not do anything. It's his fault I'm here!

Still, Oliver gave half of the pie to Collins. When he took his bite, it was like something you would serve at a wedding combined with something from the State fair. It was decadent, gooey, fluffy, with a light bit of cinnamon for spice. Eating this almost made up for what had just happened. He looked up at the slide and Ollie waved down at him.

The bubbled square contraption reminded him a bit of an old war plane. He closed his eyes, and he was flying again.

It was just a psychic illusion to allow the two minds to communicate. Oliver and Ollie, flying into the sunset in the seats below the cockpit. Collins was there too but his attention was focused on flying the plane. The two men were identical except for the fullness diapers. Oliver was not even sure if he should be upset as he looked at himself the seat over.

“Hey, we're twins.” Ollie tried to tell a lame joke and lighten the mood. Oliver refused to comment. Sometimes you're the Terra side of the coin, and sometimes you're the Earth. This was one of the dangers of living in a multiverse.

“I talked to Collins; he said you can have your body back.” Ollie told him.

“Really?” Oliver wasn't sure he'd have done the same thing. If it had been him, he would probably just get out of the diaper dimension as fast as possible and never look back. That probably was Collin's original plan, a way to kill him without killing him, the survivor knowing for all the rest of the days he had betrayed himself. Instead, his twin had taken a different route.

“I kind of like being here. I mean, I don't like all of it, but Benjamin has been fantastic, and I love Collins, but I … I just wasn't ready for that part. It means a lot to me you did it for my first time.” Ollie smiled.

Oliver reminded him, “They're going to expect you to do that on your own.”

“Time moves differently here, tomorrow could be a million years away for all I know. I can see the ripples; the dimension is decompressing fast. Guessing we have three days until it's all gone. We aren't gonna make it to summer.”

Oliver was grateful, “All I ever wanted in my life was to meet my twin, and I'm glad I finally did.”

“Oliver, you're gonna be finding a lot of yourself out here. Promise me something else.” The two smiled.

“Anything”

“Find her.” The two twins came in close and hugged.

“You know Oliver, it's tradition when convergences meet that we give each other a gift.” There were not many twins meeting each other from Terra or Earth these days, but that was what they used to do. Something only the person who knows you best in the whole universe would appreciate.

“I'm not sure I understand.” Their minds were completely open to each other.

“I learned this in child development today. You need it more than me, OK? Just take it.” Ollie offered.

It was a memory of a day at daycare. An extra-long grueling session at Hilltop. Today they covered 'How to make a best friend'. It was an intense workshop, about ten hours long with the only breaks for recess and lunch. There was acting and round table discussions. Even a few guest lectures on the latest research. Ollie had been assigned reading for afterwards, and he had completed the homework before Professor Young rewarded the two boys with a trip to McLittles. Collins' homework was easier. It was on the importance of hugs. Oliver was jealous of how much easier the liberal arts majors were.

Oliver hugged Ollie harder. “Just tell me what you want. Continence, numbers, hand-eye coordination, our real dad's face, just take it. You can have anything.”

“Well, there is something...” Ollie smiled. Oliver felt a slight twitch in his sides. “I don't like it when they tickle me, and I tell them to stop but they keep going. So, you can have my tickles.” Ollie reached in and smothered his twin's sides. Oliver howled, it was torture and joy.

A person should not be able to tickle themselves. Oliver would probably piss himself with laughter if Ollie kept it up. At least he was dressed for it.

“Thanks... thank you.” Did this count as giving Ollie something? Some might say it's like Oliver received two gifts. Together they reached over to the bomb release button. Their hands pushed it at the same time and each mind was returned to their respective body.

Oliver was staring down into the McLittles, Collin's hands were on his temples. Ollie was staring up at himself with a mouth full of hot pie and a butt just as hot. He waved goodbye. To everyone else it looked like a silly child waving at a slide.

Oliver and Collins were silent, just thinking what had happened. Had the mental trip actually happened? Yes, because Ollie had just given him something, and he had told Collins some important things too when he was up here.

Might as well see if the lessons work. The leading edge of science.

“Thank you for showing me that Collins. You're my new best friend. You understand you can't do something like that to me and not be my best friend right?” Oliver as gracious in a way Collins did not deserve.

Collins frowned. That was not just something you can declare to be true. Especially since this whole thing was kind of...

“That also means I'm your new best friend too. We're best friends now.” Oliver stated, just like they taught him to say in Child Development.

Collins hadn't had a best friend before. Friends sure, but a best friend? Unheard of! Impossible! Why would one friend need to be preferred above all others? And to achieve mastery over all of Collin’s other friends this easily? He tried to get out of it, “I'm not sure this is going to work. You only want to be friends with me because I have all the fun toys.”

“That's not why. It's because it's important to us that all stories get represented. That everyone gets to be included.” Oliver started his speech with earnest justification.

Oliver continued, “Those guys have had the run of the show for too long, they're a group of bullies and they lied to us and tricked us and made us hurt you. They can’t stand the idea there might be a different way to do things.”

“We don't like that they tried to sweep their mistakes under the rug. They worked hard to keep the truth hidden, just tell the side of their stories that make them look good. But we know the truth now.”

“Before they became the council, they were the Union of Gaian Socialist Republics, the Empire of Pangaea, and the National Socialists of Verdant. Maybe we should have paid a bit more attention to those other histories before signing up, but history was never something our planet took seriously. We just looked at a few of the dates and matched the names, rather than try to determine what was happening in the stories.”

Collins made more a comment than a question, “You didn't realize they were the kind of people who liked it when the bad guys won.”

“The bad guys usually win.” Oliver sadly answered.

Sure, fine, Oliver. We're best friends now.

Collins brought the topic to the serious matter, “So, what's the trade then. Can Earth even offer us something if we helped you out or are you just gonna try to stand around us cool kids and hope we'll accept you even though the whole class knows you're still a teacher's pet.”

Oliver was excited, “We think we found a way to force canon events to fire for worlds that haven't had them yet.”

“And that's relevant because?” But even as he said it Collin's mind was spinning of the possibilities.

Oliver let slip Earth’s secret plan, “Ten percent of Earth-likes haven't hit World War Two yet. Ten thousand worlds just like Terra. Gives us an opportunity to start some naughty fun. Maybe us good guys get a few more points on the score board and in a few years, we have lots of new friends.”

Collins had had a darker vision, of the twelve worlds on the council, only Earth had had a Cuban Missile Crisis. This was going to change everything.

Collins put his arms around Oliver and led him to the slide. Together they went down, with Collins hugging Oliver's sides, with his legs stretching around Oliver's. Their diapers compressed butt to crotch through their padded coveralls. When they landed the two friends held hands and waded through the waste-high ball pit to the portal rift.

Collins finally answered Oliver, “I'll go find the Khanates, and I'll let them know. It'll take a while to sort that out, months or years, so don't expect to hear from us for a while. Patience is our biggest virtue. Also, I'm going to need someone to fill in here while I'm gone. The project is important. I trust my new … best friend is up to the task?” Collins gave a questioning smirk as he formed the last question, raising his thumb up in anticipation.

Collins opened up a cabinet below the TV. There Oliver stared at the stack of DVDs organized in the hidden chamber. He grabbed one case and handed it to Oliver. Oliver took it and looked it over.

“Project details are kept on the bonus material.” Firefly, the complete second season. “This is more like guidelines, you can take whatever approach you think is best, but we're gonna want to see some progress by the time we get back.”

“What's on the other two discs?” Oliver had to know.

“Only the greatest show in the whole wide verse.”

Before entering the portal back to the original dimension, they gave one last look as Ollie and Collie hopped in excitement to get to the restroom so their diapers could be changed. Soon the two smaller ones would be replacing themselves in this ball pit. Once the rift closed and the dimension stopped stealing time from Amazonia the two brothers would spend the next billion years going up and down the slide together.