Chapter 29 - Salt of the Earth underpaid to serve and teach your children.

23 Floréal Year CCXXXI, Potat, South Windland, Libertalia - Amazonia

Root Hall towered over the surrounding grass and pavements. Its long shadow providing shade in the warming spring morning, to Ben and Oliver as they approached from the west. The building was made of thick red-brown bricks, five inches tall, and from their size reminded Oliver of the Washington Monument, rather than the late industrial aesthetic of the ubiquitous building material. The school dwarfed over the two men with a roof over a hundred feet above them, every floor and every face having a large black window dispersed evenly between red brick. A series of rose bushes lined the entrance, their large flowers inviting the occasional bumble bee, which easily startled Oliver into a shutter. The Earthling was not used to seeing insects the size of his face that buzzed like a helicopter drone.

Benjamin held open the mammoth door for Oliver, who skipped into the cooler interior, and instinctively scooted his shoes a bit on the university mascot rug in the atrium. Another set of glass doors past the opening awaited the two men. Oliver pushed himself ahead towards the left one and turned to ask his father a question, just as the taller man reached for the door handle.

“It’s kind of weird, being six again, and not actually being physically six,” Oliver started.

“We can do something about that, if you would like,” Benjamin tried, almost a half joke. There were all sorts of miracles coming these days from the physiology department.

Oliver answered quickly, before continuing to his question, “Let’s come back around to that another time. Personally, I would not choose to be six again if I had a choice, but here we are, so Ben, if you had to go back again, how old would you want to be?”

Benjamin was uncertain. On the one hand he was not happy being called Ben in public and would need to explain to Oliver all the rules. On the other, he did have an answer, so his hand hovered over the door. This just felt like an awkward place to be having this conversation. Regardless, he did not have a choice when it came to giving awkward answers, “Uh… ten years younger. I kind of miss the…” he thought precisely of why, “I had a lot more energy and enthusiasm then. Just hadn’t been ground down by the system yet. So much potential. Not that I’ve wasted any, just would be nice to be there again. Attitudinally even, maybe with my experience of the system to not make the same mistakes.”

Oliver smiled at that, “Great choice. Yeah, me too, maybe we can work towards that as a goal for me.”

Ben did not like that, “Lets … revisit that.”

The conversation forced him to look at his young son, “I had not tried to think of what’s happened to you like that. You have lost your adult privileges, but you also get to be a child again. This whole planet is the right size for pretending you’re a kid.” He directed Oliver to an elevator that was nestled to the side of the open hallway. The building had the quiet that comes between semesters, when there were no students and few staff. Bright fluorescent ceiling lights filled every corner of the floor. White painted limestone bricks lined the silent walls like a grand pyramid and drove the delicate ceiling lights to the polished smooth travertine floors. Their conversation was interrupted by the DING of an elevator and the opening door’s invitation to bring them up.

Oliver smiled up at Benjamin, “I want to push the button.” The giant reached down and brought Oliver level with the panel.

“We have to go to four, and my office is on five.” Benjamin watched as his son beamed with brightness and fascination at pushing in the white circle with the black four. It was perfect, the two working together. The small helping the big, and the big helping the small. No matter what happened with the coming visit, as long as he and Oliver had each other everything would work out.

As the doors slowly creaked closed, Oliver let out a howl, “Race ya’!” His small body quickly jumped up and slammed numbers two and three on the panel and just as quickly squeezed out the door, jumping easily over the sensor. Ben was alone in the compartment with his anger and fear.

The elevator was old and slow, though Oliver had some difficulty hopping up twelve-inch steps and had to hustle to beat the machine. Despite his handicap, Oliver reached the fourth floor with plenty of time, and when Benjamin exited the doors, he found no one waiting. Instead, he heard a muffled conversation coming from Dean Samuelson’s office.

Paula Samuelson was a witch of a woman, her tall hair added three inches to her height, and she had taken to dying it sharp black in her advanced age. It came down just below her shoulders. Her summer outfit was a modestly tight aqua-green dress with an exotic strap of gold and purple sash from left hip to over her right shoulder. Her gold earrings consisted of interlocking circles and looked like they weighed ten pounds while they dangled from the lobes past her chin.

The dean was known for her uncomic attitude. She rarely cracked a smile. Of all the teachers in the building, only Charles had the gall to stand up to her, and only because he was tenured in an untouchable position as the chairman of the history department. A year ago, Benjamin had knocked on her door, eager to make the case for attending a conference in Atlantica. Before he had sat down, she told him no, and further, he walked away agreeing to pick up a winter break course he did not want to teach.

The dean commanded every room she entered, and right now, her attention was on the small man before her.

Oliver turned to the man entering, “Paula, have you met my new,” Oliver held up fingers to make air quotes, “’best friend’ Benjamin?” He leaned closer to the taller woman and whispered, “We’re still working on the ‘Dee’ words, he’s not comfortable yet.”

She gave a long chuckle from that, turning to the taller man. Benjamin was off guard, he had prepared to give the talking of a century to Oliver, and instead, casually, and quietly said, “Oliver, when we get done, I don’t want to buy a leash, but we need to have a long conversation about running away in public.”

Oliver stood a second and stared the man down, like he had the first time they met, “You forgot didn’t you.”

Benjamin looked around, “Excuse me?”

Oliver’s hand lifted and pointed to the Mars symbol across from the office, “We’re in a new place you must ask. I shouldn’t have to remind you. Every time we’re in a new place and there’s an opportunity you should ask.”

Benjamin looked at the sign, then Oliver, and the sign again, he tried to go along with the impromptu sketch, “Uh… do you need to go potty? Are you telling me, you need to go?”

Oliver’s mood got brighter, and he answered definitively, “Nope!” He then came towards Ben’s legs and signaled with his hand for the man to get closer. Ben kneeled, unsure what the game was.

“It’s best you be seen and not heard,” Oliver whispered into Ben’s ear.

The command was back. Ben stood at attention like a soldier waiting for instruction, and Oliver went back to Paula. “I bet you would love to hear how Ben and I met.”

“That would be wonderful,” Paula’s mood was unusually happy. Ben was concerned, he knew that look. She probably wanted to fire someone; Paula took satisfaction in the suffering of others. Despite his concerns, his face and body were locked out and he could not do anything.

Oliver began, “There I am after work, and it is the worst day of my entire life. I had just gotten a promotion, four Oh one Kay, and an extra week of vacation, and lots of new responsibilities. I am going on thirty-seven, and my life is over. No one is going to want to adopt a thirty-seven-year-old with a retirement plan. I’m sitting there just waiting outside my work, thinking, this is it, what other options do I have. I might as well just go to the titty bar. Find myself a tweener and say, ‘Yep, I don’t care if it’s just a weekend tutor session. Just pretend to be my babysitter, or we can pretend I’m student still in high school, because this is the best I will ever do.’”

Oliver’s shoulders shrugged, “I know what you’re thinking, ‘just go sign up for a big’, lady, I’ve been in the adoption program for fifteen years. It’s not like in grand pappy’s days where you could just find any old tall person off the street and say ‘welp you’re my mommy now’. You guys have all these rights and protections. There’s a whole process. Of course, I’m licensed, I’ve attended all the classes. In fifteen years, I only got one test question wrong. And I don’t think that one counts. They said I ate all my vegetables.”

Oliver pointed at Paula, “Is a tomato a vegetable? No! It’s not! It was a trick question. Plus, there was cheese, everyone knows it doesn’t count as a vegetable if there’s cheese.”

Oliver ended his aside and continued his story, “Back to my worst day ever, I’m just beside myself, I can’t even drive home. I’m thinking I’m never going to get adopted, I’m never going to have a new mommy or daddy in my life, I’m just going to have to be a responsible adult. Maybe even get married and be a daddy of my own.”

His arms went up, as though pondering the world, “And then… just in my lowest moment. Out of the air, just zooomph. This man appears. Now, he’s confused, and he comes to me asking for help, and I stare in shock at this fellow. He has cargo shorts on. He was wearing sandals and even had these long white socks on. I was in love. Ben even brought a hammer,” Oliver pantomimes lifting his hand, like Thor himself would strike, “and says, ‘Can you help me, I was working on my deck and seem to have gotten lost.’”

“Can you believe it, it’s like a Disney movie. It’s perfect. I know I have to get him off the street, or someone is going to abduct this guy. You do not dress like that unless you want to get picked up by roving littles. It’s for his own good. I offer to take him back to my place while we sort things out and get him back to his home planet. He agrees. We’re sitting there in the kitchen, having a nice conversation, and he wants to cook. Cook! Can you believe it? Not, ‘Oliver, let’s go to the bar and get some wings’ or ‘Oliver, let’s order a pizza’, and I, ok I’m a bit sentimental, and yes, it’s a cliché. I have the mac and cheese stocked in the pantry… just in case. And he says, let’s do mac and cheese. And it’s perfect. The best mac and cheese I’ve ever eaten.”

“And then, I go, ‘oh I’m tired, see you tomorrow,’ but no he has to give me a bath and read me a bedtime story. This is the real test. There are no age-appropriate books in my house, but he just goes right on my reading device and finds ‘Cat in the Hat’. That’s when I knew I had to have him. You do not share such an intimate moment in bed, unless you’re ready to be a dad! The next day, right to the courthouse – the judge ordered his adoption. Said he had all the signs; Benjamin needs a small one in his life. Mom and dad were so proud, I finally got myself my own real parent, and I had achieved my dream of becoming a real boy.”

Oliver walked a bit towards Ben and then back to Paula, “You should have seen him when the judge gave the order. He was crying, ‘no, I can’t be a dad, I have so much to do. I want to buy a motorcycle; I want to take up painting.’ But, no, you don’t get a choice whether you want to be a dad or not. He’s my new ‘Best Friend’. I agreed to come here, since he works here. It wouldn’t be appropriate to force him to up and move for me.”

Oliver winked at Paula, “Is it like that here? I bet when your little found you it was just as magical.”

Paula chuckled and then grabbed a picture from her desk and turned it down towards Oliver for him to see. A man in his early twenties was dressed in a soft blue onesie pajama and had his right thumb in his mouth. His hair had been cut down to a thin brown buzz, and his cheeks were puffed out, “This is Simon, I was actually the one who found him, but it was just as magical.”

“Oh, he’s perfect. How old,” Oliver paused and shook his head and shoulders back and forth, tossing the concept around, then pointing at his temple, “I mean up here, obviously.”

“Oh, about fourteen months? He’s still crawling.”

Oliver’s face went back, his eyes in shock, “Fourteen? You can go that low here? Can… can you even go newborn, like if the mommy or daddy is prepared for that responsibility?”

She nodded and confirmed his odd question. Oliver turned on his heel and moved right up to Ben, he snapped his fingers to drag the man out of his stupor, “You didn’t say you could go to fourteen months Ben. You! You!” His face puffed up, his hand grew into a fist shaking it, “No. You insisted you wanted a kid with some autonomy. A ‘bigger’ kid you can throw a ball at, do some chores, and maybe save a little on diapers. Well, you wanted a six-year-old, you’re getting one.”

Benjamin had followed the conversation in words, but not in thought. He was taken aback by Oliver’s strange demeanor and was uncertain why his boss was letting him converse with her as an equal.

“Not one word. Not one. Fourteen months, and here I am having to pretend I have potty…” Oliver stood tall, and scolded the larger man, “That’s it. From now on, no more ‘best friends’, no more ‘Ben’. From now on I’m calling you daddy.” Oliver let out a huff and took a long breath, Ben’s mouth dropped slightly as if to answer, but Oliver cut him off, “Now, when we leave, if you remember,” he pointed at the sign, “And, I don’t have to remind you, I’ll use the ‘eFF’ word instead of daddy. Maybe.”

Oliver sat down on the ground and crossed his legs; he then stuck his hands and arms straight in the air.

Benjamin looked down at the small one, “What are you doing?”

Oliver tilted his head and shook his arms, as if it was obvious. He angrily returned, “I’m waiting. Don’t make me count to three.”

Benjamin shook his head, finally figuring out Oliver’s game, “I’m not picking you up, you can walk.”

Oliver’s tone was loud but sure, “One.”

A snorkel of a laugh came from Ben, then he looked again, “Oh you’re, serious? You’re throwing a tantrum, now?”

“Two,” Oliver was not having it.

“You’re too big!” Ben tried.

“Two and a half.” Oliver’s patience was reaching a limit.

Ben whined, “My arms are tired,”

“Two point nine nine nine nine nine.”

Ben’s face scrunched, and he, just short of anger, put out a quick “Fine!” His arms reached down and brought his son straight up again. Oliver’s small hands reached behind Ben’s neck and grasped tightly, his face leaning into his chest, he whispered.

“Thank you, daddy, she’s ready, go ask for your sabbatical.”

Paula had sat there, staring at the whole display. Of course, Ben had a reason to not be at work last week. He had been on Oliver’s world, and family was more important than his job. She gently touched her son’s portrait, putting it back on the desk, then motioned for Ben to approach as he shifted Oliver up and down slightly.

“Um… Doctor Samuelson, I wanted to apologize for missing last week.”

“Ben, these things happen, you’re not the first professor to go awol during finals. We handled it. Looks like you came out of the exchange better for it. We all know how important Collins was to you, and this is good for you. Congratulations on becoming a new dad. Honestly, I always thought something was wrong with you, but it sounds like Oliver would not take no for an answer, and it has worked out for the best.”

Ben blinked but said nothing; this conversation had gone differently than he imagined it. Amazons were bad at imagining things. He decided to push his luck.

“There was one small favor. If it’s not too much trouble. I wanted a research sabbatical. I wanted to finish Collin’s paper and try to get it published.” Ben smiled, looking into her fierce eyes for a moment. When he lost himself, he looked back down at Oliver to regain his confidence.

Paula’s face scrunched; her eyes seemed to focus on Ben then lose focus. Ben flinched, expecting her to yell at him, but instead she looked at Oliver’s resting head and smiled, “Take all the time you need. Collins had it in him to be one of the best, and we would be honored to bring his scholarly achievement to the world. He deserves it. I’ll figure out the teaching coverage, and make sure you get your normal salary while you work on something so important.”

Benjamin dropped his mouth slightly, and then stood up nodding and thanking the dean. He started hurrying towards the door, unsure if he wanted to stay and potentially lose this. As he reached the corridor, Paula stopped him. Benjamin shook his head, he knew this was too good, he turned to the woman, his face downward cast in disappointment.

“Benjamin, there was, maybe just one favor you could do. Normally we would not ask you to teach on a sabbatical, but I’m kind of in a bind on one little thing.”

He knew it, his lips curled up, and then replied, “Social Studies?”

“Oh, no. Ever since Doctor Korge left, well, the board has been so happy with the results of his new class, they wanted to maybe try it again, but we couldn’t figure out who to trust with this. Someone who had the same presence he carried, that the littles will listen and respect. Someone who could carry the whole department, and all of history if you will, on his shoulders. If you took his chair … then you could fill that role. Please, Ben, I’ve got no one else I can imagine better, and you’re so good with the small ones. I can see that with your new son.”

Inside Benjamin was leaping with joy, but he put on a face “I suppose, if it’s one class. I’m going to teach it my own way, I can try it. Thank you.” He nodded in acknowledgement.

Benjamin shifted Oliver to his other side, and the two parted for the elevator. Benjamin did not say anything until they were inside, and the doors were closed. His hug grew deeper, squishing Oliver, and he spoke to his son, “You called me daddy.”

“You at all curious to what happened there?” Oliver chided, he pointed down to the floor to indicate he wanted down, but Benjamin ignored his command. He was not letting him run away again.

“You’re my lucky charm. Everyone loves you; you just have this aura of perfect little boy, and they respect me more because I’m your dad.” Benjamin suggested.

“What? No, I put some heavy hypnotic commands in that e-mail I sent out and activated it before you came out the elevator. Flipped all her blocks around. She must go out of her way to listen to people she would have despised before. In fact, the worse her opinion of someone, the more she wants to listen and suck up to them.”

Benjamin’s mood dropped, “Oliver, she was all over me, she even went out of her way to give me a promotion, are…” he stumbled, “You’re saying she doesn’t like me or respect me?” He thought he had earned his place here on the back of years of hard work. His son had just cheated and got Benjamin what he deserved. He was not sure how to feel about that. Nepotism was never something he had ever considered as a possibility for himself, least of all from the actions of a little. Littles were truly capable of so much more than choking on blocks and filling diapers.

“She’ll be like that for a while, long enough to come around to appreciate the real you. Plus, it’ll be funny tonight when she gets home to her son. Those two will be playing their own version of ‘Simon Says’.”

Oliver chuckled at his joke, then reached out and pushed the five button; the two men started their ascent.