Chapter 11: The sky is falling; oh, I wish this all was a lie.

May 10th, 2023, Creston, California - Earth

“You're zoning out there buddy, about ready to get out? Ready for bedtime?”

Oliver reached back and turned off the bath. He nodded, and the giant picked up him and moved him straight to a towel. Coming out of the water like that was a weird experience. Like flying. The man grabbed the pajamas Oliver had brought and offered first the shirt to Oliver who buttoned it. The shirt hung loosely and covered his privates. Benjamin handed him the protection, just a simple adult pull-up, practically normal underwear, and followed with the pants. Oliver dropped the towel and started putting the garments on.

“Benjamin, can I ask you about the voice?” Oliver was not subtle.

A man four feet taller than you should never look at you that way. Just a hard frown and wrinkled forehead. Disappointment, not anger. Like a boss about to fire an employee. Oliver was unsure what was going on in the man's head. Was this the Amazonian equivalent of asking where babies came from?

“That's a daddy secret, how do you know about it?” Benjamin whispered his concern.

“You've used it twice today,” Oliver replied.

“No, I haven't.” That is impossible, he never used the voice. Ever. It was wrong for a man to use the voice on anyone. Worse than using the urinal next to a dude in an empty bathroom. If Benjamin's father knew he had used...

“Does it hurt you when you use it? I'm just curious because you seem to get a weird look, like when you swore.” Oliver lit up, excited to learn more.

Oh shit! Oh shit! He had used it. Twice. Fuck! The thing with the grammar, Oliver would probably be OK with that. Doctors are friends, that is alright, no lasting damage, he can live with that.

Benjamin knelt down and hugged Oliver. His face was starting to tear up, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, that was inappropriate. I wish I hadn't done that.” Ben smelled of sweat and seasoned wood. Oliver had hugged and been hugged as an adult, the experience was not foreign, but this felt more like being in a plane taking a sharp turn. The vessels in his arms and neck were being squeezed. His bones felt like they could snap. His face was buried into Ben's body, which was toned like a mattress, firm but also soft. The pressure was perfect, the giant had hit the spot just before things got uncomfortable or painful. Oliver relaxed every muscle again and enjoyed it. Then he realized what he was doing.

The boy shook his head and tried to stop Benjamin, pushing away, “What? No. I mean, it's fine. I just am curious what it's like for you.”

“We're never supposed to use it. Unless a little is about to play with the stove or run in the street or something dangerous.” Benjamin explained.

Now that was curious. Oliver had seen men abuse the voice!

“It's kind of a neat trick, I bet it helps a ton with students, just put the information directly into their brains.” Benjamin stopped hugging him and stood up. It was the most horrible thing he had ever heard out of a child's mouth. Like hearing the n-word from a two-year-old. It was the punchline of the aristocrats.

* * *

12 Floréal Year CCXXXI, Potat, South Windland, Libertalia - Amazonia

Collins was doing that shaking thing again. He had gone to Professor Young to talk about something that had happened in one of his classes, and now the three of them were sitting in Vice Rector Anouilh's office. The boy looked like a scared dog. Nothing in this office was designed for littles. Not the chairs, not the glass tables, or the porcelain vases. No boosters anywhere. No crayon station. It was a privilege of a man so high up in administration that he could have a room dedicated only for serious business.

“So, Professor Korge locks the door and then starts the lecture, but instead of covering” the Vice Rector held up the textbook that was supposed to be used. This was a new course that was to help littles adapt to the difficulties of graduate school education. Get caught up to speed to the Amazon counterparts, in case their undergrad was more animal house than animal farm. Many universities just saw themselves as expensive preschools preparing young minds for a hard life of coloring and nap times.

The littles are expected to be adults now. Real homework and research that took hours to complete. Writing or reading from sunup to sundown. No more holding hands to get across campus. No more enforced bedtimes at six thirty or daily diaper checks. Having unlimited access to adulting was a bit much for some of them all at once, and many dropped out after a single semester. The university board had voted to make this course a mandatory requirement for everyone under seven feet tall. “He just talks about farm animals?”

“No, he... reads from books, texts he brings to class. Like, one was on a cow who baked pies, and another was on a boy taking a trip to the moon in a rocket. I'm not sure what this has to do with improving our research methods, and it isn't covered in the reading.”

“Does Professor Korge ever,” Benjamin almost said belittle, “talk... down?”

“Yes! All the time. At the start he'll say these offensive things, which I'm used to by now. Things like saying school is too big for us. He won't even let us take a toilet break, and it's a three-hour course! I know some are wearing protection just to get through it.” Collins was shaking vigorously as he went into details.

The Vice Rector and Professor looked at each other without confirming the secret. They knew what was up. Why was Collins not affected?

Benjamin decided to just ask, “Collins, we tried asking another student and none of them can recall anything that happens in the class. As far as they can tell, it's all on the up and up, though it is a course many struggle with. Can you explain why you recall a different experience?” Unfortunately, they had only asked these students as part of exit interviews, the other classmates were being unusually mum. It was still enough to raise suspicions. There had been much higher than normal adoptions this semester.

That was not impossible, sometimes a new TV show or movie will come out and it will catch like wildfire before the littles adapt. Like when “Naomi and Oliver World” came out ten years ago. The 'Netflix and fill' semester had hollowed out half of the littles in undergrad.

Collins knew the answer though, “I shake. It's like he tries to put us to sleep but I always shake out. I've been getting...” Collins was not sure he wanted to admit it to himself, “I've been getting worse. Early onset...”

The rector shook his head, interrupting, “No, this isn't maturosis. That's a made-up disease invented by sick people to turn littles into slaves. I wish we took your condition seriously enough to try to find a cure for it. There's a good chance this new dimension travel stuff will help us find a cure, some other civilization, one less concerned with dollies, would almost certainly have found it by now.”

For the first time in weeks Collins relaxed, just sunk into this over-sized chair and relaxed. For a brief moment he was scared he wouldn't be able to get back out, but then he decided he didn't care. He was not used to an Amazon actually admitting the falseness of the contrivance that permeated all elements of civilization. This was something that defined his life from the moment he entered the world until the moment he would die, and the bigs admitted it was as much of a lie as he thought it was. Like a parent finally confirming Santa was not real.

And the promise of actual hope! He had not thought anything good would come from dimensional travel, and never believed he might be cured someday. In a few minutes when he left the room the 'real world' would go back to assaulting his intelligence and sense of worth, but for a brief moment he was allowed to see behind the curtain and be treated as an equal.

“We need proof.” Benjamin quietly said. “Charles is too big. He knows where the bodies are buried. If... if we could just catch him in the act.”

The rector scoffed, “What like an audit? I don't think he'll be reading about space rockets if a big is in the classroom.”

“I'll do it.” Benjamin's heart sank when Collins said it. Why did Collins need to keep proving himself? And of course, it would be his boy. Collins would volunteer for this. It was extremely dangerous, and he was drawn to unnecessary danger. He had the need to prove himself as just as good as the Amazons. Order from the adult menu even if it is the exact same thing and a dollar more expensive.

Benjamin tried to make his case, “No. No! This is stupid, let's just issue exemptions for the littles and say the class is a mistake and negatively affects their other studies. We'll just wait for a better moment. End of semester, tell him we know and ask him to retire.”

“Ben, if the boy wants to help, he can help. Collins will just go to Korge after one of his classes, and see if he can get some private instruction, and we'll...”

“Oh perfect. I'll be like a spy. Yes, I know exactly what to do.” Collins was excited as a kid being told they were going to an amusement park.

And against Benjamin Young's better judgment they worked on a plan.

Collins had waited in the hallway until the last student had left, before quietly entering the classroom. The little's desks had been rearranged in squares of four. Professor Korge was inattentive, cleaning up some writing he had put on the chalk board.

Important themes:

– Oink Oink!

– Life will go on as it has always gone on.

– Neigh! Neigh!

– We are all equal, but some are more equal.

The teacher had on a sporting blue jacket, a white and blue plaid shirt, and khaki pants. His hair was thinning. He looked old, though that was true for most Amazons. It was hard for Collins to tell. He could be forty or fifty or seventy or a hundred. That was something he learned early, never try to guess an Amazon's age. They were sensitive about it.

Quit shaking, just be cool, “Doctor Korge, can we speak?”

Charles stopped erasing the board and turned to Collins. A perfect little boy. Like a scared dog. He would never want to hurt something this precious. “Collins, you missed class today. Was everything all right?”

“No, it's my early onset. It was extra bad today. I was wondering if we could have some time to go over what you covered in class. Every day I read and read and read the book and it's like nothing from the class connects to what I learned.”

Forty years teaching and it had finally happened. Why now? Why not twenty years ago? Decades of seeing lesser men fall for this. Charles had wanted a girl, maybe that cute Asian in the back of the class, but now that a little was in front of him, he'd take a boy too. A nice little boy who just needed to be hugged and loved and read to each night.

“If it's getting worse you don't have to stay in school.” Charles offered, concerned.

“Early doesn't mean actual onset. I'm still here.” Collins tapped his head. “Up here, at least I'm still here. Just the physical parts sometimes aren't as adult as they used to be.”

Charles let out a long breath. Maybe it's time we do something about what's going on up there then too.

He turned and sat in the teacher's chair; he picked up the reading material that was on the desk. Some silly story about a bird that thought the sky was falling. He motioned Collins closer. There should not be another class until tomorrow, he had plenty of time.

“Here, I know it helps if you're close and can see the text as we read it, why don't you sit on my lap, and I'll go over what you missed.” The giant patted his knee.

Collins lobbed his head and shook back and forth before finding the courage to move slowly towards the big. “Sorry, I'm all wiggly today, is that OK? Bit bouncy. I can't help it when I'm with someone I re... re...spect so much. I want to be just like you when I gr...ow up. Teach history here.”

What a perfect student! Well after today he was never going to grow up again.

Charles began getting his voice ready, “Our story takes place in a nice, cozy little farmyard...” It sounded a little like an old radio announcer from the forties. He got a few pages in and was about to have Collins try to say the duck sounds when the classroom door opened.

Benjamin was half his age, half as well dressed, and half a head more hair. He looked at the two other men. “I thought I heard something inappropriate. Did either of you hear something inappropriate?”

Charles was not upset, but just dropped his smile. Nothing had happened.

Collins shook a bit, and then with the biggest smile said, “What did it sound like? Like students doing something naughty? Maybe touching or kissing?”

Benjamin looked around, “I'm not sure, it sounded like, a little was about to do something very wrong. Like they were going to play with the stove or maybe try to talk to a stranger. Did you see a tiny one run through here and try to stop him? All I see are a couple adults.”

Charles let Collins fall slightly off his lap, the boy's feet hit the floor with a thunk, and with enough force for the shoes to glow red from the impact. Charles closed the book and put it on the desk.

“He's JEALOUS,” Charles thought to himself, “Is this what it is about? Well, you should have made a move when you had a chance, Benjamin. A boy cannot have two daddies.”

The sitting professor's mouth opened, an invective was on his tongue, about to tell the younger man to get out, when the classroom's other door slammed open.

“I was just walking by when I thought I heard something. Was there a small one playing with matches? Or knocking over... oh, it's just adults.”

Benjamin turned to the entering Anouilh, “Why don't we just sit and see if the noise comes back? Charles just go back to helping your student like you were doing. Pretend we aren't here. Maybe the little boy or girl is playing hide and seek, and if you keep reading, he'll decide to come out and listen to the story too.”

Collins tried his best to defend him, “Professor Korge was trying to explain to me von Ranke's ideas of the objectivity of analysis by contrasting it with the personal biases of Henry Penny. The chicken is a metaphor for Hegel, right?”

The three men looked at the tiny person who did an 'ahh shucks' shrug of his shoulders. He looked up at the oldest man, “Whoops, my brain is a bit pickled at times and just full of corn. I'm just a little jitterbug. I meant to say in forty-nine and twos Columbo sailed the oceans blue.”

The old man stood up and turned to the two actual adults, “Look, I don't know what sort of sick nonsense you guys are up to...”

The professor and the vice rector made their way closer to the Charle's desk. Benjamin just went straight to the point. “You're using the voice.”

“There's a small one in this room, I don't think it's appropriate to discuss this in front of him. Perhaps if I take him back to his room and get him tucked in, we'll discuss this like adults.”

Collins started to slowly make his way to the door, his head down. For a second, he got to play with the big kids, take part in the fun game, and now he is back to being a child again. It was all bull...

Ben put his arm out and stopped him, “He's not going. Collins already knows what you did. No, you used the voice, and he deserves to know why you're doing that to him.” The student turned back to the three men.

Charles confessed, “OK, fine, I used it on the class. This whole thing is a joke. Now we're dividing classes on the basis of race and ability, just so they can catch up. You fail to see this as an opportunity. Why should I just get one, when I can get them all?”

“You're going to resign.” Mr. Anouilh was not having any of this.

Charles gave a giant belly laugh. “Or what? You'll explain what I'm doing to 'Madam' Rector? Or the board, with the six ladies? Maybe we'll let Mrs. Anouilh in on this, perhaps she has her own opinion. No, I'm sick of the contradictions. It's time we built something new here.”

The vice rector shook his head confused. This should have worked, but Charles was impenitent. The shame of exposing it should have worked, but now he was going to bring the shame onto everyone else instead. The old man was immune. How had Korge so easily turned this situation on its head? Benjamin was right, coming here was a mistake.

Benjamin continued to push. He didn't care about the board or the rector. He was only looking out for Collins. The boy deserved better. “You're going to resign and you're going to apologize to the boy and all his classmates. You promised to make them better and you're turning them into...”

Charles stopped him, “Or what? You have nothing. I have all the cards. This university is all about equity and inclusion and retributive justice, but at the end of the day you're a bunch of hypocritical shits.”

Collins flinched at that. Like actual pain, it hurt him to hear that word, somewhere at the top of the head, between the ears. He never wanted to hear the word again.

“You talk a big game about inclusion, but last semester we had one speaker from Family Planning, and the littles had a sit in. I was there, she was giving a nice talk on the importance of preparing for the inevitable and how to best adjust for it, and these little brats came in and started shouting her down. And what did you do?” Charles pointed at the Vice Rector. “You let them all off with a warning! You sent out a letter to the STUDENTS apologizing for not thinking about their poor little feelings when the big mean old Amazon gave a talk. Did you think maybe there were people in that room who might have benefited from thinking about what sort of mommy or daddy they wanted to live the rest of their lives with? Or are we just supposed to not prepare them for the real world.”

“Every day. Every fucking day, I come here and there are little boys and girls complaining about some new atrocity by us Amazons. As if having to attend this university is as bad as living in Yamatoa. 'Oh, did you hear the media center had rented an auditorium to play the new NOW Movie?' Like we intended to show them the yoU-Vee side of the tape. It was the biggest movie of the year, and we just pretended it didn't exist. Five littles send in an anonymous complaint and the whole thing was off.”

Collins liked that movie. It had an older Naomi who had to deal with the conflict of wanting children, but she was also in a bad position in her job. She would have to choose between career advancement or getting pregnant and raising the child. And then there was Oliver who was not adulting seriously. He still played with toys and secretly went down the slides at the park and could not hold a job for more than a few months.

Collins cried at the end when Oliver had brought home the diapers as he had finally made the decision to let himself become regressed. Naomi could have her baby without having to worry about pregnancy or the growing needs of a young baby. Only, when Oliver had come home, did he found she had already done it to herself. She had been watching their old 'home movies' and gave up. She was not able to handle a big decision like choosing to become a mommy or building her career. She had left him one last video saying she felt all he needed was an opportunity to be responsible, to actually grow up and grow out of his funk, and she wanted him to be happy and self-actualized in a way she couldn't be.

It was the perfect ending to a show he loved when he was a boy. Started a revival of the series even, but Collins felt the new show’s artwork was stupid. The new cartoon was a bit more hyperactive and random for his tastes.

The rector was not going to let Charles make this a politics thing, the scope had to be brought back to the personal. “When you were hired you agreed to keep it under control. We are paying you to turn these men and women into functioning members of our society, and you're abusing your power over them for some sick fantasy.”

Charles would not have it. Time for the trump card. The secret weapon. “You think I don't know what's going on engineering? That military advisor? Who is that Powell guy who keeps coming around? He's always talking with the students. We even built that new wind tunnel, the one for the tiny,” Charles made quote marks as he continued, “'Model planes'. You don't think that's worse? Sending a boy like Collins off to...”

Mr. Anouilh staggered back, bumping into one of the little desks. How much did Charles actually know? Men had threatened to tell ladies about the voice before, but that? That was going to turn the world upside down if it got out.

He tried to negotiate, “Look, let's just, we'll just start over, we came on a bit strong. You know it's not good for you to use the voice this much, and you were never this bad before, maybe you should just take some time off and work through some things. You can have full pay and next semester we'll just keep you away from the smaller ones until you think you're ready for it again.”

Charles knew he had been getting worse. He also did not care. He was going to adopt a little. The boy in front of him had made him see that. “I want this one. I'll be good after that. You can do that right? Expel him for pissing himself in class, I don't care what the reason is. I'll get a fast pass to adoption. We can still get it done today.” Charles reached over and grabbed Collin's shoulder; he started dragging the boy back towards him.

The rector paused. Technically those forms were in his office, buried deep in a cabinet somewhere. It had never been done before. Not at this level. Grad school was a safe harbor. It had to be. Why would a little ever attend grad school if there was a chance they were just wasting their time? Why put all that money and effort into something irrelevant when you could be having fun as your last years as an adult, go get a real job, make some money, travel the world, or start a family?

“You can't have him. He's...” Benjamin was raising his tone. “You're resigning.” The anger was irradiating in waves. He had never ever needed to be angry with another man like this before, not as an adult and not to the man's face. It felt unnatural, but there was also something deeper to it Benjamin was beginning to trust.

Collins was wiggling. He was trying to get away from Charles, but he could not.

To Collins this was all twelve-dimensional chess with these Amazons. Somehow, they had tricked him into going to the rector just so this elaborate stage play could play out. He would be lucky to wake up dry tomorrow morning.

“Fine, you can have him. I'll just take someone else.” His eyes darted to the seating chart. Ms. Wu maybe? “But you are going to make him your little. I don't want to see him in class ever again, or any class.” He turned his head to the window and saw it, “No wait! That's not fair. What am I saying?”

Was Korge actually struggling with this? Was he really that bad of a guy? The big had made it four decades without falling for this. Maybe Amazons were hurting too. Collins actually felt pity for them.

Korge pointed to the building out the window, “He can switch majors if wants. All the teachers always complain about how hard it is to get into Hilltop, but I'm sure they have an opening for a smart lad like Collins in Child Development. I think you'll like it a lot more than history. Yes, it would be an abuse of power if your old friend, the Vice Rector, ensured you got one of the exclusive spots, but we will all look the other way on that, right?”

Hilltop! Passionate professionals, inclusive community, and academically rich. Plus, they had just built a new slide. Collins was not going to cry.

“Collins is our equal here. As long as he's at this level we're treating him as an equal, and if you can't respect these men and women for who they are and who they can be, you're going to need to stop teaching.” Benjamin tried to reason with him.

“Hmm... equal huh? What's he published?” He picked up a journal on the mess of a desk and dropped it, “You're only as good as your last paper, what's the last thing he wrote on?”

“His career is just starting.” Benjamin replied.

“And it'll be over in two years when he shits himself during his dissertation defense. What a fucking joke. What a pointless waste of time. I can respect the musicians, or the mathematicians, at least the littles in those departments are at the peak of their ability at that age. But history? You need to have lived to understand it. Collins, what profound changes have you seen in your life that make you think you're even remotely capable of doing this job. Name one event in your life that was as significant to you as Unification Day.”

The young man turned. It was why he wanted to study history, to understand why Amazonia was better. “I heard the planes, dozens of them over our farm. I remember the smoke and the fire. I remember being hungry all the time and having to stand in line for hours for crumbs of black bread. I still remember my sister's laugh from before she got the cough. I also remember coming here. I was only five at the time, but I remember it.”

Collins was not from around here.

Not a single one of the adults in the room had ever experienced war, pestilence, famine, or death like the little had. Amazonia was a peaceful planet. This boy had not been a child in a long time.

Benjamin looked at the building on the hilltop again. Could there be worse fates than never growing up? Maybe growing up too soon?

Of course, Charles Korge was an Amazon, and he had already crossed over a line. His brain was like mashed corn. There was no grown-up thing Collins could have said that would have pierced into his skull. It went in one ear and out the other.

“Don't worry that was just a nightmare. Daddy will help you get to sleep tonight and ensure you never have to worry about bad dreams ever again.”

Anouilh had heard of this, read a few papers on it, but had never seen it. How often do you just ignore it in public when a child is throwing a tantrum? It was just a hypothesis, and not a well-supported one. No one wanted to fund research into it. Puerile-osis! Those Freewindian anthropologists were right!

The Amazons were the ones with the disease this whole time!

Charles was sick. Very sick. The whole world! He looked at Collins all wiggling, and he was scared of a tiny person. Are the littles even aware they were doing it to the Amazons? A hijacking of the nurturing response like a cuckoo bird! In some parts of the world sixty percent of Amazons had not reproduced successfully. Collins had overpowered Charles' rational thought processes and turned a brilliant mind to jelly. He was probably doing something to Ben as well. The littles were killing their species, they were targeting the bigs and turning them into... He needed to get off this planet.

Before he could intervene, before he could explain what should be the greatest discovery of the twenty first century to the two professionals who had the intellectual power and scope of background to fully grasp the implications, Benjamin punched Charles in the face.

Benjamin was a bit of a manlet, and had never punched a man before, so it was more surprise than effect. It opened a space for Collins to run to the Vice Rector for safety, but that man would not let the little near him. Anouilh had a frightened look in his eyes.

“Why are the grown-ups fighting? Stop it. It's happening again!” Collins was running towards him. The rector jumped over the desks, he had to get away from the demon.

Benjamin had age and surprise, but Charles had desperation, reach, a bit of training, weight, and some muscle. They started to slam each other. It was like two parents at a youth soccer match on opposite teams. Ben and Charles wrestled, each grabbing the other's arms. Ben's feet slipped on the floor, and he slammed the chalkboard hard, which let Charles grab and throw him into the desks. Collins had barely dodged the six-hundred-pound man when he crashed into the chairs. Ben straggled to his feet, he had hit his head and took a second to get back to the proper stance.

ENOUGH.

“ENOUGH.” The three men stopped and looked at the boy. Collins didn't mean to do that. But he was so angry. His dad had shown it to him when he was five, told him about the birds and the bees and the voice. The last thing he had taught him before sending him off to the portals. Said he might need it one day, but to only use it in an emergency. He had held it in for twenty years.

“You need to stop this fighting at once. You're grown men, and this is beneath you.”

Charlie lowered his head and pointed to Ben, “He started it.”

“I don't give one crap about who started it. You're not supposed to hit people, even if they hit you first.” Collins brought a fierceness taller than both men.

Ben was confused, what the hell was going on, “Hey, um, I think we.”

“Ben, I saw you throw the first punch. You were upset you couldn't solve it with your words, and you punched him. That's not how we do things.” Collins was not in practice, this was hurting him, a lot more than it was hurting them. “Go, stand in the corner and I'll deal with you last.”

Collins pointed at the rector. “Go home. Forget everything that happened here. I don't want to have a conversation with your mother about how you dragged my boys into this. They're grounded from playing with you until you're able to set a better example.”

Charles watched as the V-R left the room in a hurry. Why was Benjamin in the corner? And was the man crying? He had not hit him that hard. Charles brushed his shirt and re-tucked it. He took a moment to straighten his collar. Meanwhile the youngest man in the room made his way around the desk and took a seat in Korge's chair. The toddler sat his head down slightly and rubbed his forehead, scratching beneath his hair. Charles saw the puffs of blond around the edge, but also some light... graying? with the sideburns. The man waved Charles over without looking at him, his fingers pointing to an empty chair that was to the side of the desk. Charles shrugged, walked over, and sat in the chair.

“Charlie, I'm not angry, but I am disappointed in you.”

Wait! That phrase does not mean anything. He had even said it once to his own boy.

“I didn't.” Charlie protested.

“You knew it was wrong, but you did it anyways, and it wasn't even for a good reason.” Collins’ tiny legs pulled the teacher's chair forward and into the desk. He was squeezed between the chair and the keyboard tray. His arms reached over and picked up a twenty-pound book the size of his own chest.

“You could have done anything. You could have put this book into our heads. You know how amazing and wonderful a gift that would be? You have a special power to make us better than you and you use it to instead put this crap into our minds.” Collins picked up the children's book with his other hand and flipped it towards Charlie.

“That's not fair. I didn't start this. I didn't throw the first punch.” Charlie tried to defend himself.

“But you said hurtful things. You said you were going to commit crimes and lock people away and that you were proud to have done bad things to your students. Do you know how that makes others feel when you say mean things like a bully? The others might overreact. You have to remember you're older now. How would you feel if I implied you had used the voice on Mrs. Korge in front of all your friends?”

What? All men use the voice on their wives. That was how this worked, birds and the bees and the voice. But somehow, he couldn't say that. Charles knew how all the big grown-up stuff worked, but Charlie? Well, his dad hadn't yet explained that part back when he was last this age.

Charlie paused and looked down at his shoes before answering, “I'd feel sad. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.”

“Because we respect others, and we wouldn't want this done to us, right?”

He nodded. He was not liking this at all.

“Charlie, you're too old for this. You're too old to be playing with the small kids still. So... I don't want to do this, because you've done so many good things, but I'm going to drop you out of school.”

He worked here, he did not attend classes. This needs to stop. “But I like it here.”

“You do need to be punished. I don't want to hit you. Hitting is never right, and if you hit a child, they learn the lesson that hitting other children smaller than them is fine. I …”

“Plus, if you spanked me, I would hardly feel it” Charles quietly thought to himself. “This is actually cute. Once I have busted out of this mind control ...”

“I'm going to ground you.” Collins said it without enthusiasm or sarcasm, more like a direction.

Oooh gonna send me to my room? Maybe cut my TV? I do not even watch TV. This was amazing. A little pretending to be an adult. A perfect performance.

The little turned back to the huge tome. “This book helped me see something about the importance of objectivity, about bias, and I've been in your class enough to see that you really don't appreciate what that actually means. So, I'm taking this away.” The boy took the book from the desk and put it to the side of his chair. As if the symbolic act of moving it a few feet would deny it to Charles.

Ha-ha, oh my goodness, this was... this whole thing is just some huge joke. This was almost worth getting punched in the face for. The theatricality! The acting! His boy's imagination was incredible...

“Now I don't think you'll notice the full implications of this for a while but trust me when I say it's extremely dangerous. You are going to need to stay home. Do not go to work, and you also can't do it anymore. No more journal articles. No more teaching. In fact, you might not be able to do lots of grown-up things. You're almost certainly going to need a caretaker and will need to be locked up for most of the day.”

Collins did a quick breath and squeezed his temples. “I'm already feeling bad having done it, but then I just remember you had wanted to send me there.” He pointed to the school on the hilltop out the window. “To live out the rest of my life like a nursing home patient.”

Charles mouth was the first part of the real him to break through, “What are you talking about? You're gonna get spanked so hard for this! This is the craziest day of my life.”

Collins reached back down and picked up the book and he waved it front of the man. “Your objectivity. Your ability to weigh different facts! It is all gone. You're a pure phenomenalist now. Everything you hear is on an equal basis. You don't get the ability to have or understand a bias anymore. No bringing in stuff from what you previously knew. You don't get to determine the quality of a source before accepting if it's true. It's all just the same now. All facts are the same, and all stories equal.”

Collins was mature enough to not say, like a newborn baby. You could now tell Charles the moon was made of cheese, and he would ask what kind of wine would make a good pairing.

“What?” The old man shook his head, some more control was coming back.

“You still don't.” He turned to Benjamin in the corner. “Ben, help me out here. What time was the sky supposed to fall tonight?”

“Uh...” Benjamin did not want to be involved in this.

“Charlie forgot what time the sky was supposed to fall. I think it was seven. Or was it seven-thirty?”

OK enough of these games, Charles was shaking his head.

“Yeah, something like that. I am glad I got my preparation done; did you get yours done Collins?” Benjamin tried playing along.

“Oh of course, everyone did. I'd hate to leave something that important for the last minute.”

Charles raised his voice at the two, “You guys need to knock this off. You're being silly.”

Collins leaned closer to Charles as he addressed him, “Am I? What if it was in a textbook? Would you believe me then?”

You cannot take away objectivity! Objectivity was not like losing potty training or your alphabet. You could make a man lose those easily with a TV show or a toy. But people did not just lose their ability to objectively weigh facts. He was a professional, he had done this for fifty years, but … sure enough. Right there on page three of the textbook. The sky was falling. If it is in a schoolbook it has to be true.

“No... no. I haven't.” Do not panic. Did he need a shelter? Would he even be able to breathe if the sky went away? “Help me! I forgot. I forgot this was going to happen today.”

Collins did not want to say it was enjoyable doing this. It was just something his people could do; he was not like the other humans on this planet. He was never in real danger, but it was important that he blend in, and it was cool to him that the bigs trusted him enough that they wanted him to help with their own internal politics. It just kind of went sideways because the bigs are dumb, and now an adult has to clean up the mess.

Seeing Charles like this was just sad. Like a scared puppy. He had just made him think the end of the world was coming. Do not make the old guy panic, he might do something regretful. Collins did not want to be resentful, and he never wanted to define his being by how badly Charles needed to be humiliated. He wanted to take a more noble path.

“Charlie, what kind of cake do you want for your party?”

Charles was delirious, “Don't you think that's a bit of low importance right now? The sky is about to fall and you're talking about parties.”

“Yes, that's the initial interpretation of the text, but have you done a Straussian examination? That's just the exoteric interpretation. What is the secret interpretation? Skies can't actually fall, instead it's just a code. We must be having some sort of surprise party, tonight at seven thirty. Of course, which story you prefer is up to you as a historian, whichever better fits the facts. Either we're all going to die, or I just ruined the surprise.”

My retirement party? Why would that be a secret? You do not hold surprise retirement parties. And I am not retiring. But the alternative seemed so much worse.

“Something with chocolate?” Charles offered, hopefully.

“Good choice. I think we should have ice cream cake. Don't you agree Ben? I know it's a bit expensive, but you owe it to Charlie, don't you? Why don't you go track down the Regent, and the two of you can go over the details and invite all of Charlie's friends. Maybe contact his wife and let her know? He will need someone he can trust with some of his adult thinking moving forward.”

As Professor Young made his way out of the room, Collins turned back to Charles. “I'm sorry it went down that way, I intended this to just be some weird sex thing, and you would get caught and fired. Not that I want you to get fired, but we're about to do some pretty neat stuff here. Science can't wait for your funeral. Plus, you tend to stick your nose places it doesn't belong, and I'm not OK with you looking into this department as closely as you did with engineering.”

Charles looked at the young man. This did not make sense. “I have no idea what's going on now. And I am pretty sure it's not just because of the thing you did with my head.”

“Oh yeah, sorry, that was kind of cruel.” Collins just sort of shrugged his shoulders. Charles noticed he wasn't wiggling as much.

“Anyway. Since you’re kind of having a bad day, I'll let you in on a bit of a secret. You're the only one on the planet who will know this. You Amazons are only just now starting to understand dimensional travel, but it's way more than just the half dozen worlds around you that you guys have been to. Tens of thousands more. There's about a dozen of them at the top, all assholes, and they act like they run the place. My people finally got one good punch off on them a few years ago. We had an unbeatable new weapon. Finally, they'd have to listen to us and let us join the club and let us be part of the greater canon. But they had an even more secret weapon.”

Collins continued his rant, “The council acts like they're all peaceful, 'we work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity' and then they just happen to have in their back pocket an Earth that built even more weapons after World War Two. Much bigger bombs, and cool jets and planes and missiles. Who does that?”

“OK, Sure, my people did, but none of those guys do! This new Earth was so close to one of our timelines, so many shared canon events with us you'd think they were a twin. The Beatles, the invasion of Afghanistan, even a Cuban missile crisis. They even had both a 'good guy' and a 'bad guy' win the war! That doesn't count as a win for the 'good guys', that's an even split! And the council just invited these guys to join without a care and set them loose on us. Hypocritical shits.”

“Well, we'll get them back. We're very patient. Charles, you know the cuckoo bird, right? She lays her eggs in other bird's nests so other moms will raise her children as their own?”

It clicked. The entire world made sense now. Charles tried to verify, “I hadn't thought of littles and Amazons like that. Are you guys some sort of parasitic species?”

That would explain the infertility crisis. Charles felt used, his entire desire for adoption was a hijacking of his real and practical biological needs, and more so, he was being abused by an even more evolved species that was harming him for their benefit. Literally the little had just cost him his job. No wonder choosing to adopt felt like choosing to become a drug addict. These feelings he was having towards tiny people should have been directed at his own family and his children and their children.

“Nah, you guys are just big Neanderthals. No one cares about you. No, we want our babies to go someplace else and take over that other nest. Grow up, get their weapons, win their elections, and earn their spot on the council. We're so close I don't think anyone would even notice the difference. Stinks we had to do all this nonsense to a nice 'breeder world' we had built here, but you know what? Gotta grow up sometime.” Collins was smug with his own joke.

Charles should have been comparing what the boy just said to things he already knew. He should have been trying to determine which parts were more likely to be true and how much was clouded by biases Collins was introducing into his narrative. Instead, he just assumed it was all true. Ten minutes ago, he would have gone on a rant about thinking of history as good guys versus bad guys, and that it was incorrect to think the history that defines a world can be thought of as one part Cuban missile crisis plus one part The Beatles.

It was the most ridiculous story anyone had ever come up with, but it was true. A hundred thousand worlds, big wars, cross dimensional conspiracies, and hypocritical shits at the top. The last part he could definitely believe. It was like being in first grade again, learning about the way of things for the first time. Like learning Columbus discovered America in fourteen ninety-two, it better fits the rhyme if you go along with it, even if there are other facts that contradict it.

Charles still knew his ABC's. He knew his numbers. He could use the toilet. He could drive a car. He could walk and talk and hold a conversation. He had all his memories. And yet despite his autonomy in so many areas, he was now no longer able to do adult things. At least nothing important. He was even left with the intelligence and wit and experience to realize why he could not do adult things anymore.

Imagine an Earth historian with Charles' condition trying to write something on ancient Rome, and then accidentally hearing “I'm not saying the Coliseum was built by aliens, but...” or a historian of World War Two reading “It didn't happen, and also they deserved it.” All that evidence on one side, and nothing on the other, and the brain needing to treat the two sides as equal. How much worse this must be on Amazonia, where textbooks say littles were cannibals in their native environment or that ancient Atlantis was a real place. A historian cannot properly judge the past without developing a resistance to propaganda and fairy tales, and Charles wanted to believe everything now.

Charles knew it would be useless to pretend he was still big when he was less capable of independent thought than every toddler on the planet.

Even the home shopping channel was too dangerous for him. Yes, I do need to buy that! Right now! Charles just hoped his wife was not the type of person who would take advantage of his new disability to turn him into some sort of dolly for her own enjoyment. The coddling instinct was only ever directed to the small ones, right?

“Thank you for letting me in on the secret. I'm starting to realize how scary this is. Since I'm agreeing to be nicer, and agreeing to retire, can I get my objectivity back? I'll do anything for you, if it means I can get it back.” Charles kept his head slightly bent as he asked Collins. As if just asking nicely was all that was required to get something done on this planet.

Collins shook his head. “Objectivity is like a tower, and all your blocks are knocked over now. It was such an easy psychic attack too. You are made vulnerable to it because society makes it easy for you to not think. 'I vote for these politicians, and when my guy does it that's different' and 'my religion says this, and science says that' and 'I have to have different standards when it's a family member'.”

He made a swooping motion with his arm, like a bird coming in for a dive. “It's the exact same attack vector. You've built all these weaknesses into your rationality. You've made no effort to overcome your biases. Just let the bad thoughts through, like unlocking the fence to the chicken coop. This was just a bit more damaging than all those times you voted for a guy because you liked the letter next to his name.”

He nodded his head and scolded the old man, “Charles, you allowed too much of your being to be defined by ressentiment. You had all this anger with the administrators and littles pushing you around, but it was like five assholes. You let them control you and you took it out on your students. What is your foundation of being other than pessimism and cynicism? All it took was just one tiny push by a stronger will and poof your phenomenology is all gone.” With a finish his voice got much higher, “All gone! No more big boy thoughts.”

Collins recognized the look on Charlie's face. He had seen it a hundred times. 'Young Man, you're not allowed to go to bed anymore without protection' or 'young lady, we are through practicing potty training. Diapers forever!' It was the exact same face. The littles try so hard to hold on to being big, fail once, often of no fault of their own, and then told they were never going to be an adult again. As if the humiliation was their choice.

What a shitty thing to do. He had been on the planet too long. The Amazon's bad behavior was influencing him. Just give people some hope, maybe if they're strong enough they'll get over their problems and be better than they were before.

“If you study very hard, and read a lot, I'm sure it'll all come back. It's gonna be like traction though, just gotta put in the exercise each day, and know you're going to fall a lot on the path back.” In a way it's almost a gift. Charles had an opportunity to rebuild the tower correctly from the beginning the second time around, with none of the bad influences of culture, family, or school. Maybe all Charles needed was just to unlearn what he had learned, and he'd be even better.

“Here, let me read you something that'll help set your mind right.” Collins reached back down and picked up the big book, dropping the heavy weight on the desk with a plomp. He opened it to the first chapter, letting it rest on the spine. “Come a little closer, I know you like to look at the text while I read it, to help better grasp the concepts. If you have some questions, I'll be happy to answer them, and we'll go as slow as you need to go. We have plenty of time until the party.”

Charles picked up his chair and scooted it to Collins. This was not quite how he imagined this part would go, but it was close enough.

“Oh, sorry wrong book. Here let me get something more appropriate for your level of development.” He reached over to the Chicken Little book. He carefully held the spine so that Charles was able to see the pictures. “If you sit nicely when we get to the duckies, I'll let you join in the reading. See, I like this book. It's about how misinformation can spread and why we shouldn't believe everything we hear. Important lessons to build a foundation on.”