“I’ll just have to… ride a horse, or something,” Hadrian moaned, sitting off to the side of the bridge while the caravan walked past. “We can afford a horse, right?”

“You’re being ridiculous. It’s not that bad,” Sandra rolled her eyes, leaning against what had once been a toll house.

The wizard threw up his hands, looking down at the black-and-pink heels that were encased around his feet, the stiletto almost six inches long. “Not that bad? I can’t walk!”

Standing up straight, Sandra said, “Here, I’ll show you. I’ve worn them once, it’s not that bad.” Crouching, she took off her boots and touched a finger to both her feet, summoning umbral energy to create a pair of shadowy black stiletto heels. “It’s like- Woah!”

When she tried to stand, she stumbled and nearly fell, pinwheeling her arms for balance.

“Not that bad, huh?” Hadrian snorted, watching her from a sitting position.

“... the ones I wore weren’t nearly so tall,” Sandra admitted, straightening. “But here, look. I can walk in them, just fine.” She took a few tentative steps, ankles wobbling a little, moving in a slow circle. It went alright, until the heel caught a crack between two of the stones that made up the bridge and she tumbled, falling forward and kicking up dirt.

Tarja, watching with Quinn, shook her head. “Do you need some help?”

“Have you worn heels like this?” Sandra asked, getting to her feet.

“More than you. Let me try.” Walking over, she slipped out of her soft leather shoes, lifting her feet so Sandra could summon another umbral pair for her. “Alright, Hadrian. Watch, it’s simple. You just walk in them.”

Her form was, indeed, better than Sandra’s. A little wobbly on the cobblestone, maybe, but not bad given the footing.

“I can’t do that,” Hadrian moaned. “I’m not some graceful lady with all sorts of poise and care. You expect me to walk around like that?”

“You’ll get used to it!” Tarja assured him. “Give it time.”

“I can’t do it.” Hadrian shook his head. “You two are the most graceful people I know, and you’re both struggling.”

“Whinging!” Quinn said, loudly.

“Excuse me?” Hadrian looked over his shoulder, glaring at the half orc. “I took the hit for the rest of the party, and-”

“We got out of this alive, you’re not hurt, and you’re just complaining about something easy.” Quinn shot.

“Easy?” Hadrian spluttered. “And besides - I have to wear this outfit, constantly, it’s humiliating!”

“Oh? Tell me about it,” Quinn said, looking down at his own dress.

“It’s not the same,” Hadrian said. “Not in the slightest. You try walking around in these things.”

Quinn shook his head, lumbering over and tugging off his heavy combat boots, the only part of his armor that hadn’t been changed to look like a delicate dress. “Sandra.”

“Er…” Sandra said, raising an eyebrow up at him. “Are you sure? It’s-”

“Just give me the damned shoes,” Quinn confirmed, nodding stiffly.

Sandra summoned the heels one at a time, and Quinn straightened. Just to be safe, Sandra stepped back - she didn’t want him to fall on her when he stumbled.

“Okay, like this.” Quinn walked in a smooth circle, quickly, his ankles not so much as wobbling. “Heel to toe, not toe to heel; You’re not wearing snow shoes, so don’t stomp around like you are. Take small steps, and keep your posture straight - you’ve got more balance to worry about than normal.”

As he walked, almost at a jogging speed, moving circles around Sandra and Tarja, he kept up his advice. “Visualize that you’re walking in a straight line, and keep your footing steady. Watch where you’re going, at first, until you’ve developed an instinct for where to step. Your heels should fit perfectly, so there’s no concern about that, but you’ll still be sore until you develop the right tone - Half the learning curve is just getting used to using muscles differently. Now, get up, stop whinging, and get used to walking in them before I strut on over there and kick you in the ass.”

Hadrian spluttered, shut his mouth, and then got shakily to his feet. He stumbled, but Quinn grabbed his arm and helped him straighten up.

“There, see? You’ll get the hang of it.” He glanced over at Sandra and Tarja, who were both staring, agape.

“How in damnation-” Sandra started.

“Where did you-” Tarja said, at the same time.

Quinn shrugged, then winked. “A man’s got to have a few secrets.”