3.) At What Cost

I looked at my wet bed with a blush on my cheeks. I couldn't believe this was happening! A vampire? Seriously? And I was her thrall. Even now, I felt eager. I missed her. But what did that have to do with wetting the bed? Why did I wet my pants for her? Ugh, none of this made any sense! And I had school today. I couldn't focus on this right now. But before my second class, I'd go to the library to check out some books.

"Where are you going?" Meg pouted, looking up from the sofa with expectation, catching her best friend completely off guard while she was trying to sneak out. "We have like four episodes of Lesbian Prison Drama with Werewolves to catch up on and you're totally ghosting me!"

"I have class," I said coldly. "You also have class!"

"You came home late last night."

"Don't change the subject, Meg. Get dressed and stop being late to everything." I slipped my shoes on and grabbed a jacket from the coat rack. It was mid-September - my blue jeans and t-shirts wouldn't cut it anymore. Time to move to warmer clothes.

"Well, we can go together," And the moment that her best friend opened her mouth to argue, Meg reminded her: "We're going to the same damn class, so don't think you can escape telling me who you're off sleeping with!"

"I'm not sleeping with anyone," I shouted as Meg went into her room to get ready. I sighed and leaned against the wall and whispered to myself. "I wish I was..."

Class was boring, more boring than usual. I sat quietly and watched the professor talk, but all his words were bouncing off my brain. Meg and I came in late, so we had a place in the back. She passed me a note. I scribbled something vague and pushed it back to her. I sure as shit couldn't tell her I was a vampire's thrall, now could I?

The note came back with a response written on it: “Is it that woman? That creepy old cougar from the bar? Oh, you're not a cougar’s cub now are you? You can do so much better."

"I have no idea what that means," I wrote back. "And she's not that old." Actually, if she was a vampire, she was probably very old. But there was no way she looked older than 30. That got me thinking about her red hair. Her white skin. Her cold hands. Her hot breath. My mind swirled with ideas of her. I touched my neck, where she had bitten. I put on a ton of makeup but it barely covered the bruising.

"oh my GOD is that a hickey?! how did I not even notice that?!" Note. And then another note, quickly scrawled. "Okay who is he? Tell me who he is, I wanna know!"

I crumpled her paper into a ball and left it on the desk between us: a clear indication that this conversation was over. I motioned with my pencil to the front of the room so maybe my annoying friend might actually pay attention to the lecture. But I sure didn't. I sat quietly and thought about Bailey. My Bailey. Her fingers on my chin. Her eyes staring into mine. Her lips on my neck... on my lips... I exhaled softly as my panties grew warm and damp.

"You know I'm not going to let this go, right?" Meg had waited until after class to start back up, in words this time. "You've been daydreaming about this fella all class, and I'm eventually going to meet him so you might as well like... I don't know, at least describe him. Come on, I know you want to, look at your blush, the look in your eyes, I know you just are dying to tell someone. So make it me."

“Fine." Ugh, this was so stupid... "It's that woman from the club. Are you happy now? I'm a cub or whatever you called it." I packed up my bag and started heading out the door, but Meg grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back. "What?"

"Uh, your... pants..."

"What about them?" But it wasn't long before I realized what she was talking about. A wet patch had formed on the front of my jeans and a much bigger one along my ass. My cheeks turned crimson. No...

"Holy shit, did you?" Meg was crass, but she was a good friend at least - she slipped out of her hoodie and quickly wrapped it around her best friends waist, tying it off and leading her up the stairs. "Come on, move move, its the janitor’s problem now. We gotta get you home." Why had she pissed herself?

I didn't know what to say... I didn't understand. I mean, I wet the bed. Sure. Some stupid vampire crap. But I was awake! I was in class, in the middle of the day, and... and... I followed Meg home in disbelief. My chest was aching. What was I supposed to do? What could I say? I sat in something? No, I didn't. It didn't even look like that! Then I was on my period. But Meg wasn't that dumb. We were barely past the courtyard when tears started to fill my eyes. I wanted Bailey... I missed Bailey...

"Hey don't cry, it's alright, you're alright, no big deal. Accidents happen, right? Do you need to go to the clinic? Did you pick up something from that woman, an STI or something maybe?" Meg was doing her best. "Hey don't cry, hey hey... uh. Tell me about your girlfriend?" A distraction.

"Bailey," I muttered, rubbing the water from my eyes. What was going on with me? Why was I crying? First wetting myself and now this? Ugh, this was so humiliating... "Bailey, she's... she's really sweet and kinda forward and very..." I tried to think of the word. "Aggressive." An STI. Ha. Vampirism might be a little beyond what the clinic could help with...

"Well, that sounds nice, I guess? She dressed really nice, I bet she's loaded, right? Maybe you can be her sugar baby? You know, get a credit card from her, buy some nice things. I mean you're WAY out of her league, so she should definitely be evening the score." What baffled Meg though, was the fact her best friend didn't cry like this, ever...

I laughed a little and shook my head. "No way, she's way prettier than me... she's like, the most beautiful woman ever. Maybe in the whole world..." Thinking about her again brought a smile to my face. Warm thoughts to my heart. And like that, I was already feeling better. I bet if I told Bailey I wet myself at school, she would think it was cute!

"She's really infected you, huh?" Meg laughed, not even noticing the panic in her best friend’s eyes at the word. "I mean, you're so fricking smitten. I've never seen you actually fall for someone, or care about them even. And you didn't tell me you were gay you big nerd! I'm your best friend."

Gay? Oh... yeah, Bailey's a woman. Wow, I didn't even think about that. This thrall thing really didn't care about sexuality, did it? "Yeah, well. I didn't really... I mean, I never thought I'd really... uhh..." I played with my hair shyly as we walked into our building. I really loved Bailey... but that was just her stupid vampire magic, wasn't it? It wasn't real...

"Hey, whatever works for you, you know I had a crush on you in high school right? But all you'd ever talk about was The Guy of Your Dreams and being a wife and planning this big wedding and having three kids. But hey, I'm glad you're discovering things about yourself! Maybe you could invite her over for dinner? I could make that fettuccini pasta with garlic bread, and we could all get to know each other?"

"...I don't think she likes garlic bread."

"Who doesn't like garlic bread?" Meg asked, rolling her eyes.

"Vampires?" I guessed with a little laugh. Oh gosh, my girlfriend was a vampire. I was the protagonist in a vampire romance novel. Ugh, kill me! The second we got inside I went straight to the bathroom to shower. I touched the bite marks on my neck, shivering with thoughts of Bailey. Gosh I missed her...

* * * * *

Meg didn't mention the accident again; she was such a good friend. She went to class and I went to the library to look up stuff on vampires. Because apparently that's what I did with my free time now. I sighed and fished around in the mythology section until I found a few historical recounts. Hehe. Recounts. Count. Like Dracula.

"Have you found anything interesting, my little Pippy?" If she'd had any hope of hearing my approach, she might not have been so startled. But the moment her eyes locked with mine I could see the calm washing over her, waves of relaxation, of bliss, of happiness just from my presence. She was looking at a book split open on the table and I was sitting on top of the bookshelf above her, elegant as could be.

I didn't believe it. I actually didn't believe it! I had to rub my eyes to make sure she was there, but sure enough, she was. Bailey, sitting on top of a bookcase. In the public university library! In BROAD DAYLIGHT! I fumbled off my chair and hurried over to where she was sitting, shouting at her in a loud whisper. "Get down from there! Are you crazy?!"

I swung my feet in amusement, flashing the fainted hint of a smile, and disappeared into thin air, only to appear again behind her - although she didn't seem to notice it yet. I pawed over her book, being careful not to touch it, and then made her jump from her skin when she turned around. "What are you reading, my little blood doll?"

She disappeared. How did she do that?! Then she was where I had been seated, leaning over my book with her hands behind her back. I huffed and stormed up to her. "It's none of your business!" I slammed the book shut and a few heads looked up at me. Sheepishly, I grabbed my stuff and hurried into a row of bookshelves. But of course, Bailey followed me. When we were finally alone, I turned to her and spoke in a hushed voice. "What are you doing here? It's the middle of the day! Shouldn't you die or sparkle or something?"

"Oh Pippy, you're not thinking about me dying now, are you? Being alone... being without me? Think of the aching, the needing, the feeling you'll never ever know again~" My voice trailed off as I traced a finger across my own neck and caused her kiss from me to pulse and throb with heat. Humans had such interesting ideas about us.

"...I didn't say that," I muttered, looking away from her. I held the book tight to my chest, but it hadn't given me any useful information. But now Bailey was here. "I have questions. I want you to answer them. Come on, let's find somewhere to talk."

"Such a forceful little thrall you are, I wonder if you'll become more or less assertive over time. It's such an attractive trait, after all; I do so hope you keep it." I let her lead the way - it didn't matter where we went, because nobody else could see me at this point of the day. She only saw and heard me because she was somewhat attuned to my spectrum of light.

The far corner of the library was empty as far as I could tell. Alone with Bailey... I shook my head and tried to ignore what she'd said. Attractive trait. Gosh… one compliment went so far with me. "Okay. First thing: why am I having accidents, like yesterday? I've never heard anything about vampires making you wet the bed."

"You've never heard anything truly accurate about vampires, to be fair. We don't tend to advertise, and we don't publish literature." Sure, a lot of what humans wrote in their fiction was close to true, perhaps. But never accurate, never truly. "A thrall is given great pleasure, great fulfillment, great purpose." My words hung thick, even in my weaker daytime state. I grinned and made sure she could see my fangs. "A thrall never feels anything quite so intense and passionate as a kiss from her Master or Mistress. And in return, it's only fair she give something back, Pippy. It's only fair she give something up."

"...so I'm giving up... my... potty training?"

"You're giving up your maturity."

"Maturity? What does that even mean?" Then I remembered two hours ago, crying in front of Meg. Wetting myself in class. My cheeks turned crimson. "Wait that's not fair! Why does it have to be that?! Take something else!"

I smiled at her little outburst, at her slipping sense of maturity, her verging on the edge of a tantrum. Oh she was so delicious; I wished I could taste her in that moment. "Some of us take your physical age. We drain you of your life, one day to the next and you're a wrinkled, withered husk of a person, your short little lifespan over in a heartbeat. Some of us take your free will. Some take your sanity. I only ask for your maturity. That's not such a big price to pay to feel the way I make you feel, now is it? It's a small price to pay to feel... owned. Possessed. Taken. Mine." I said each word slowly, let them crash over her like waves.

I hesitated, an argument on the tip of my tongue. But dying early... losing my sanity... surrendering free will... ultimately, maturity was the best to give up. I just... didn't understand. "Can't I give you something else? My favorite pillow? Or my rock collection? Why does it have to be this? What if I say no? I should get a say! I'm the one that has to change my sheets every morning!" The last part was a little too loud. I covered my mouth and looked around embarrassed, but no one was nearby.

I smiled brightly. "You're a clever girl, Pippy, a clever little girl who is longing to have me come visit tonight, I bet. Perhaps under cover of darkness, you'll share with me some of the solutions you've come up with to handle your sheets. And a pragmatic little thrall earns herself a kiss; I'm sure you're looking to made me proud, aren't you?" She should get a say? Oh thralls could be just so cute at this age.

I looked shyly at my feet and held the stupid useless book tight against me. That brought up another question... "Do you have other thralls? Other than me...?" And she could hear it in my voice, plain as day: I was jealous. I wanted Bailey all to myself.

"You're so attractive when you're possessive, Pippy." I wouldn't give her the answer she wanted, though, not right away - instead, I gave her purpose. “If I can have everything I need from a single thrall, I wouldn't need anybody else. But that one thrall would have to impress me, she would have to go above and beyond and push herself every day to be the best thrall I could ever ask for."

The best thrall? I looked up at Bailey with determination in my eyes and then another thought crept up on me. One I'd been thinking about since that morning. "But... what I feel right now, with you, it's not real. I don't actually love you, right? You're just making me love you because that's what thralls do." In other words, Pippy didn't love Bailey. Bailey's thrall loved Bailey. I shouldn't love her at all...

"Love is a chemical response, Pippy, a trick your brain plays on you to coerce you into reproduction with your own kind. What you feel for me is much different, more intense, more unique. Just as voluntary.” Love was no different than an addiction. "I haven't made you do or feel anything, apart from an overwhelming happiness and contentment that comes from being owned."

"I don't want to be owned! I'm my own person!"

"And yet you feel such bliss when you surrender to me."

"Because of your weird vampire magic."

"I don't have magic."

"Then because of some chemical whatever-you-call-it from when you bite me! You're... you're like a drug, you're not a real feeling!" Says someone who had never taken drugs harder than alcohol.

"Say 'I'm my own person' again." She looked at me with indignation, but obeyed. "Now say, 'I'm an owned person'." This time there was no hesitation - she said it immediately, and I watched the physical response, the shortness of her breath, the pinkness in her cheeks, the way she bit her lip and smiled a little bit. "Now say it again." I'd make her repeat it, over and over. I’m an owned person. I'm an owned person. Eventually, I prompted her to shorten her words and her truth to simply 'I'm owned'. And when I was satisfied, I smiled. "How do you feel?"

I looked up at Bailey with foggy eyes and short heavy breaths. My cheeks were on fire and my tummy was fluttering with butterflies. And I hadn't noticed, not yet, but my jeans had formed a wet patch between my legs. I struggled to speak. 'I'm owned' repeated in my head. "...it's just... your stupid vampire chemicals..."

"If it were, wouldn't the feeling be getting weaker the longer you went between my kisses?" That wasn't how thralls worked, though - their feelings built and intensified between encounters, their dependency grew and they needed more, so much more. This was all new to her, but true and serene to me. "Impress me tonight, impress me with a solution for your wet sheets and your wet jeans. A childish solution, an immature one, you know what I like by now, Pippy. Make your Mistress proud. Make your owner happy. Please your Mommy."

"Pippy?"

The voice made her head turn: one of Pippy’s classmates who had wanted to borrow some notes. And when Pippy turned back around, I was gone.