Chapter 2: Reality crashing down

At some point into the journey my eyes started to glaze over all the scenery that was passing us by. I stopped noticing the passage of time as heavily, and my thoughts continued in a similar fashion, thinking of all the ways my life would feel normal again. I wondered if now I would be able to find where my family went, depending on how well I was treated now, it’s possible I could join them, or maybe arrange for them to be welcomed back into the kingdom under new rule, ensure they were treated correctly. My mind was absorbed with these ideas until I heard Miss Southgard, or Lena I suppose, call out from the drivers cabin in front of my own. “We’re nearly there Christina, I hope you haven’t fallen asleep!” Hearing her voice jolted me from my trance and I started to again take notice of the sights outside. Oddly enough I didn’t recognize anything I saw and come to think of it we had been traveling for far too long to simply be at either my most recent home or my family’s estate. . . clearly there had to be some mistake. “Are you sure? This doesn’t look like familiar to me at all!” I called back out to her, a tinge of worry in my voice. After a moment there was no response from either persons in the drivers cabin, though under the noise and jostling of the wooden wheels on the stone road, I could have sworn I heard some sort of amused chuckle.

Finally, the carriage turned into a long driveway to a large home. Through my small window I could only catch glances of it as we approached, but it was immediately obvious that this was not my home. Surely they weren’t going to set me up with a different estate, that would make no sense! I decided to have a talk with the driver as soon as we stopped to properly inform him of his ridiculous error. Slowly we came to a complete stop a few meters away from the front doors of the house. I sat and waited to be attended to as I heard both the driver and passenger exit their small cabin. A few moments later, the door closest to the house was opened for me and the driver offered me his hand for me to step outside with. I instinctually accepted his hand and pulled myself out into the light of the late afternoon sun and prepared to give the driver a talk to make him realize his error.
“Excuse me but you’ve gone to the completely wrong address. This isn’t my recent home or my family’s estate.” I addressed him in a condescending manner, barely even keeping eye contact. “If you make such a mistake again, I won’t think twice about having you fired.” I threatened absently. It was the type of language I was used to using all my life being of the aristocracy.

I only noticed after voicing my issues that he wasn’t even looking at me as I spoke. Seeing this I got offended and prepared to snap at the driver and ensure he knew his place, but before I could Miss Southgard gave a light chuckle, reached down to take my hand in hers, and started to speak as she walked us both closer to the front doors. “There’s been no mistake Christina. And nobody will be firing Veric, most certainly not you. . . No, this is my home darling, and you’ll be living with us now. Understand?” Everything about the exchange caught me off guard, her taking my hand again, rebuking my threat so casually, and the way she was speaking to me. Before I had thought she was confident because she was going to make things right. But now, was she talking down to me? My mind was reeling, and my eyes darted around trying to make sense of exactly what was happening. Living with them? She couldn’t be serious.

“What? No, I don’t understand! What do you mean I’ll be living with you? What is going on?” As she continued to lead me to the house, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and followed along. She had been the one to resolve my situation hours before, perhaps this was just some misunderstanding. As we arrived at the front doors of the house there was another person waiting for us. She was a young woman, older than I was but seemingly younger than Miss Southgard, standing at around the same height as her, being taller than myself. I could tell she was clearly Silencian from her dress and fashion sense. Her hair was short blond but with one part of her hair shaved close to her head on one side and the other side was combed nicely. She was dressed in what looked to be normal butlers attire, button up shirt but with her sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Also, a grey waistcoat and dress pants, all of which clearly tailored and fitted for females. As we approached she looked at me like she was sizing me up, deciding if I was going to be trouble or not. When locking eyes with her, I tried return that look with my own look of confusion and concern, which in my experience usually caused most servants to start minding their own business, but she simply gave me a smirk and a small nod with a tilt in her head, almost like. . .greeting an adversary? The entire soundless exchange left me unnerved. I looked back to Miss Southgard expecting her to start some sort of further explanation, but she refused to even meet my gaze, instead looking at this new woman at the front door. I could also feel her grip on my hand remain steady.
The well-dressed woman at the door spoke first addressing Miss Southgard “Afternoon Lena, I’m glad to see you made it back safe at a reasonable time. Everything you requested has been prepared for, and Rowan is waiting for you both in the parlor.” As she spoke she opened up the front doors allowing us entrance.
“Thank you so much Cynthia, please join us. I have a feeling you will be needed.” This woman, Cynthia, nodded in agreement, looking like she had expected this. Miss Southgard then continued to use my hand to lead me into her home, though this time I planted my feet and refused to move with her. “No, I demand an explanation! What are you playing at here?” I let my voice raise a small amount to make it clear I was not playing. I demanded respect I had been shown my entire life up till now.

But instead of the outcome I expected, Miss Southgard simply turned around and looked right at me. The grip on my hand got much tighter very quickly and her demeanor was suddenly very serious. “Christina. Behave.” She spoke with such emphasis. “Come with me and we’ll sit you down and tell you everything, okay?” Her tone of voice was once again talking down to me, and her look was telling me she fully expected me to listen. My mouth was forced open by the shock of the exchange. Did she seriously just tell me to behave? Who did she think she was! I was too shocked to do much else as my brain needed a second to rewire itself, and while that happened Miss Southgard simply continued to walk forward, no longer guiding me by her side but pulling me along behind her. Not sure what else to do I simply followed along. There had better be a good explanation I hoped!

As we entered into the house, I could hear Cynthia walk in behind us and close the door, and as well I got a very good view of the inside of the house. It was extremely well kept and very fancy. Polished tiled floor, ornate decorations, large staircase in the front room to the upstairs, multiple different rooms branching out, very clearly a proper home. Not quite on the same level as my family’s estate but very clearly for those in the upper class. But there was no time to stop and admire the finer details of Miss Southgards home, as she continued to take me to another room in the house. This new room I was led into was filled with multiple chairs, a small eating table, and two couches that sat across from one another. There were also smaller things scattered around, a drinks cart, a small bookshelf, and a chess set, and then packed in the corner there was a small piano that didn’t even have a place for someone to sit and play. Though the other most pressing thing was there was a man sitting on one of the couches. He looked extremely formal, wearing a 3-piece suit with his jacket off on a coat hanger next to the couch. I could see a chain of a pocket watch coming off of one of his vest pockets, and he was wearing square frame glasses. His hair was brown and slicked back with crème, and he had a very finely kept amount of facial hair styled into a very precise goatee. He looked to be possibly the same age as Miss Southgard, if not a tiny bit younger. I also realized on his wrist was a small bracelet with a crystal embedded in it. I realized I had seen one before and looked over to the hand of Miss Southgard that was still gripping my own; she had one too. I looked back up and accidentally locked eyes with the man on the sofa, he looked at me with a smile but said nothing.

Upon entering the room, I was gently brought back into step beside Miss Southgard. She released my hand but then placed both her hands upon my shoulders yet again, continuing to lead me further into the parlor. She spoke to me as I was brought in. “Now Christina, this is my husband Rowan, and this is my assistant and dear friend Cynthia, please take a seat while we answer any questions you have.” She led me to the couch across from her husband, leaving me to stand in front of it as she immediately went to sit across from me next to him. I looked over to see Cynthia standing just beside the I couch I was near looking down at me expectantly. I looked back to the couple sitting before me; they were also looking at me expectantly. I was still trying to make sense of everything, but I slowly sat down. They said they would answer my questions, I so might as well start asking them.
I took a deep breath to collect myself and started my sentence. “Miss Southgard-.” I hadn’t even finished my first thought when I was interrupted immediately and spoken over.

“Oh, please dear, you’ll call me Lena.” While her tone was very casual, her exact use of words told me that she wasn’t asking. I paused for a second to process. In just such a short time I had never been taken aback by so many small details before but each one would derail my line of thought so efficiently. What was going on?

“Okay. . .” I continued, not quite comfortable enough to use her name. I Rolled my shoulders back and sat up straight to assert myself once more. “I don’t understand what we are doing here. After you helped sort out that ridiculous situation, I assumed you would take me home. And what do you mean I’ll be living with you? I would much prefer to go back to my family’s estate thank you very much!” I tried to make sure my composure stayed proper the entire time, using my lifetime experience talking with other high-class citizens as a model.

It was the husband, Rowan, who responded, looking a little puzzled himself. For a second I wondered if he was as confused as I was and was going to help me figure this situation out? But then he started to speak. “Christina. . .” he said, but then turned his head to his wife next to him. “Did she not read the arrangement, or listen to what- oh what was that lad’s name?” He interrupted himself and looked off in an attempt to recall, but it was Miss Southgard, or I suppose Lena, who responded to help him. “Stephen was his name, dear.” Rowan snapped his fingers at being given the answer. It confused me why he would put so much effort into trying to remember the name of a nobody. “Yes! Stephen that was it. Well yes, did she not listen to what he had to tell her?” Lena was already shaking her head before he had finished his sentence, and she had an amused look on her face. “No darling, she was quite in the rush to sign it to escape incarceration, and silenced poor Stephen before he could say much at all.” Rowan nodded along to his wife’s explanation, seeming completely unsurprised by it, but as they spoke my heart began to pound. What had I actually signed? I thought it was just some legal nonsense giving me my freedom and status back. What if there was something else there? My vision started to swim.

“Oh, I understand, then I guess we’ll have to do this ourselves.” Rowan turned to me and leaned forward in his seat, resting his forearms on his legs. He looked at me dead in the eyes, and I suddenly found each breath more difficult than the last. “Christina, you had committed some serious financial crimes, and you were going to be sent to prison. The kingdom is under new rule now, so you couldn’t just get out of it like you may have been able to in the past. Your name or formal titles don’t mean anything and can’t save you anymore.” Upon hearing this recount of my situation blood rushed to my ears and I started to get dizzy. I forced words out of my mouth in attempt to assert some control. “But Miss Southgard fixed that! She knew I didn’t belong in prison! I’m still important!” I all but yelled, putting disgusting emphasis on the word prison, barely being able to even think of myself spending time there. Rowan looked at me patiently from across the space between us. “Her name is Lena, dear,” he made a point of stating before continuing. Clearly they were both serious about me referring to her by name. “But your situation was far too serious for you to simply be let off, and we most certainly wouldn’t reinstate you into some sort of nobility. Yes, Lena and I were able to come up with an alternative solution, as we’re here to help organize Silencia’s new rule over Crevicil, and we were able to set this up. But it was not freedom.” His words and demeanor were very calm, but it did very little to ease my own distress. What did they mean I wasn’t free? What did alternative solution even mean, what else was there between freedom and prison? My vision was slightly swimming and the room started to seem larger than it really was, leaving me feeling very small. “What . . . what is it then?” I asked completely bewildered. Rowan sat up a little, straightened his suit collar, clearly getting ready to speak, and all I could do was sit and wait. Everything was going to be fine right? Anything was better than prison.

“As I’m sure Stephen tried to tell you, instead of going to prison you agreed to be placed as a ward of the kingdom, more specifically to be under mine and my wife’s direct supervision. You may not have heard of this term before, but it is very common in Silencia. Instead of going to a prison where the Warden is in control of you, this mean we are in control of you.” He said, putting his arm around his wife to emphasize the point. “You are our responsibility. Your finances, your well-being, your rehabilitation, and essentially all your decisions default to us.” The way he spoke so casually about it, this was common in Silencia? To give one person the full control of another? No this wasn’t right; this couldn’t be right.

Despite my horror I was once again rendered mute by my own emotions, words completely lost in forest of my mind. After all what could I say to something that was so ridiculous? After a few seconds of my own silence Rowan continued. “Please, don’t be afraid Christina. We are going to take care of you, make sure you’re well looked after. And as long as you behave under our control you’ll do fine.” Most of his words actually did move to comfort me. He said I would be comfortable, maybe this would be just like living in with another family, they were diplomats so if I did my status would most likely stay the same. But as the last part of the sentence hit my ears, my reaction and temper flared up, and I was able to force the words out. “What do you mean, behave?”

Rowan gave me a small smile of comfort and sighed under his breath. I could see in his eyes that the smile was only to make me feel better for what he was about to say, he knew I wasn’t going to like it. “You still committed a very serious crime, and very clearly need help acclimating to this new rule and your new status. So, it is our job to rehabilitate . . .” He paused on his own words, before going back to choose another “Or rather to help teach you and ensure that you learn how to be a proper contributing member of society.” He took in another deeper sigh before continuing. He was suddenly very apprehensive “This means understanding things like proper manners, how to treat people correctly, learning generosity and how to care about others, to all peoples around you, including those you saw as…beneath you before.”

Upon hearing this I stood up in my seat. I could feel the heat in my face rise as shock and outrage built up inside me. Suddenly instead of fear or apprehension, my emotions shifted gears into disgust. “Excuse me? How dare you! Who do you think you are, you want to put me down with the likes of those below me? Turn me into a walking charity case serving the filth on the street? No! Absolutely not! I will not-”

Cynthia took a single large step forward, entering my immediate vision and standing between the two couches to my right. While giving me a terrifying look, she pinched together 2 fingers and her thumb, and pulled her hand across in a horizontal line in front of her face and held it there. The message of the motion was clear, ‘Enough’. With just that she suddenly became the most imposing being I had ever encountered. Just standing there looking into her eyes made me freeze on the spot, not out of terror but out of obligation. I became still and obedient, knowing that now above all else, it was time to listen and not speak. Right away I felt she was capable of administering any will over me that she chose. “Christina, sit down.” Her words commanded me to sit, and I did. Without another word, or a single look of rebellion I took my seat and waited patiently. Cynthia continued to address me with the same dominating quality in her voice. “If you have such an outburst again, there will be consequences.” Her words rang in my head, and after she met my gaze for a moment more she released her hand from its position and took a step back. Suddenly she didn’t seem quite as imposing anymore, without a second thought it was all gone. What had come over me? Was this just the power of her position over me? Was this what it felt like to servants when I addressed down to them with disapproval? The entire experience was so foreign.

Both Rowan and Lena looked slightly amused at the entire thing, and Lena was doing a poor job hiding her smile behind the hand covering her mouth. “Thank you Cynthia, I knew having you here was important beyond the general importance you have to our family.” Cynthia smiled and gave Lena a nod of appreciation, in which after receiving, Lena turned her attention to me. “Now Christina, this is happening whether you approve of it or not. You failed to learn all these lessons with your previous family, so now you will learn it from this family.” Lena paused to let what she had said sink in, before continuing with a softer more maternal tone. “We only want to help, Christina. And this will help you.”

I stayed sitting trying to absorb everything that was being explained to me. This was nothing like I had ever experienced before, I had never been yelled at by my parents, threatened with punishment, been told I needed to do better, all of it was completely new. My natural instinct was to stand back up and force my will upon them that I would most certainly not be accepting any of what they just said. But I looked to Cynthia, who was still leering down at me. I had no idea what the idea of consequences even meant for me, and I remembered how imposing she had been moments earlier and how much control she forced over me. I looked away from them all, staring at the empty space in front of the floor. I was still trying to find the proper reaction, the proper words, the proper anything to escape all of this. I could feel myself getting dizzy, I began to hear a soft ringing in my ears, and my sense of touch started to feel skewed as the fabric of the sofa on my skin felt slightly distant. Complex thoughts became so hard, but it was supposed to be simple wasn’t it? ‘This wasn’t right’. That idea rang in my mind echoing over and over. ‘It’s not right. None of this is right. This can’t be happening. It’s not fair!’. But there was nothing I could do.

As my thoughts rattled around in my mind, my breathing became heavy and slowly tears started to form in my eyes, but very quickly they piled up to the point of streaming down my face. I felt so powerless, so unable to find any escape, all I could do was cry. At first I tried to fight it, hold back the swell of emotion so hard. I strained against my facial muscles and blinked hard to hold everything back. But as the first tear rolled off my face and gently splashed onto my leg, and my tears became undeniable, I put my hands up to my face to hide myself, hoping that it would help relieve me of the overwhelming situation, but to no avail, and seconds later I broke down and started to weep.

The first of my audible sobs rang out. I felt so powerless, I continued to try to hide myself as I broke down, it was the only form of control I could establish. But even as I did that, I could hear Lena get up and come to my side as I continued to bury my face in my hands. “Oh, darling it’s okay, we’re here to help” she said as she approached and knelt down beside me. She gently took my hands in her own and rested them down away from my face. She then took her soft cloth handkerchief to dab gently at the tears pouring down from my cheek. As she offered this small kindness I looked at her and saw a sense of deep caring in her. Upon locking eyes and seeing such a genuine look, I rejected it completely. My hands shot back over my face, and I turned my entire body away from all three of them as I continued to try to hide myself. Lena didn’t try to move any part of me this time, she instead gentle placed her hand on my leg to attempt to show support. I barely noticed it.

************

Seeing Christina like this broke Lena’s heart, it truly did. She had never intended to make the young girl cry with her words or the situation. But despite her feelings for her new charge, the resolve she felt for the entire situation was unwavering. They were going to help her in the end, make her a better person, and give her a proper family. Her Husband started to get up to come console the girl as well, his heart was also kind and he felt terribly that they had made her cry, but Lena raised her hand silently to stop him, her message to the others in the room was clear. Give her time. As she sat next to the crying girl she knew there was more to explain to her, the rules of the house, how she would be expected to act, what would happen if she didn’t, and many other things. But she didn’t want to rush the girl and overwhelm her anymore; she was already breaking down. Lena was glad that Cynthia had stepped in with her magic to halt Christina when she started to have a tantrum, but also wondered if having her will dominated like that even briefly was part of the reason the girl was in tears right now. Lena decided they would have to rethink their approach to handling the girl with their magic from now on. Lena also took this time to ponder if Christina had even realized it was magic that affected her. Christina of course had no inkling, seeing as magic was foreign and nonexistent in her previous world. The kingdom of Crevicil hadn’t had magic for more than 100 years due to its poor leadership. Lena suspected this could be the case, and if it was, it would make it easier for them in the future. Mental magic was much easier to pull off when the subject was unaware that magic was being used on them in the first place. Lena and the others waited very patiently, they needed to let the child, or at least a child in her eyes, calm down some. And while Lena very much wanted to insert herself as the crutch Christina used to feel better, she would have to wait for that time to come naturally. After she had noticed that Christina’s tears and sobs became less frequent, and she began to sniffle and wipe her nose with the back of her hand, Lena knew that it was time to take the young girl to some place where she could feel safe.

*************

I was finally starting to get hold of my emotions. My entire breakdown was filled with nothing but silence, and the only thing that led my tears to stop was simply the process of getting over myself. Crying wasn’t going to help my situation, the longer I cried, the more I realized that nobody was going to come along and make it all better. I sniffled back my emotions and wiped my dripping nose to help compose myself. I was better than this.

Just as I started to compose myself, Lena stood up in front of me, she looked down with the gentlest of smiles and spoke softly “Why don’t we take you to your room, okay?” As she suggested it, she reached her hand down to grab my own once more as she had done before, but this time I wasn’t allowing it. As soon as her hand grazed mine, I recoiled away from her. “No, I’m not going anywhere with you!” I said with some bite. Though as soon as I did my eyes involuntarily shot over to Cynthia, who tilted her head down to me as if to say, ‘excuse me?’. I realized I was treading on dangerous waters.

Lena took a step back and pulled her arms back to rest in front of her. She was very clearly trying to be patient with me. “I think you need some alone time to process dear, please just let us take you,” she said, motioning to herself and her husband who was still sitting. I saw his face and was slightly surprised to see his was also filled with nothing but honest concern. “It’s a big house, we don’t want you to get lost.” As she was talking, I was trying my hardest to focus. I wasn’t going to let her just take control. I thought again; I was better than this.

I sniffed back my tears again, my resolve growing in an attempt to make up for my breakdown. “You can tell me where it is and I’ll go find it on my own, I’m used to large houses, and I’m not following either of you anywhere.” I said making sure to keep my tone consistent all the way through. Though despite my attempts to present mature, I could feel a residual tear fall from my eyelashes and roll down my cheek, betraying my composure.

Lena opened her mouth to start to speak but as she did her husband stood up next to her and placed his hand on her shoulder gently. She looked back at him, and he gave a simple nod to her, as if reassuring her. He then turned to me and knelt down on one knee in front of me. The gesture was supposed to be that he was on my level, but it only made me feel more insecure in how they were treating me. “Okay, you can go alone Christina. Just listen carefully, okay?” I gave him a quick nod, and he started to describe where my room was in the house, and they were right, it was a complicated set of instructions. This house was larger than I initially thought, but I kept track of what he said until he had finished. “Understand? Can you repeat that back to me?” He asked with a kind tone that still didn’t take away from the patronizing message.

“I-, no. I understood all of that and I think I would just like to get going now.” I said while rising from my seat, the slightest hint of frustration creeping into my voice. Rowan stood up with me, and I realized I was shorter than him as well. Why was everyone in this house so damned tall? The only person close to my height had been the driver. But also, as I stood up I realized how weak my legs felt, my entire body even felt weak. I could feel certain parts of me slightly shivering, and I was unable to stop it.

“Okay, that’s fine,” he said, stepping back with his wife to offer me some space. “But Cynthia is going to follow you to make sure you don’t get lost.” He said that and Cynthia nodded in sync. There was a notable lack inflection at the end of his sentence that told me it wasn’t an ask, but I hated the idea regardless. “What? No, I-” His demand frustrated me so much, they couldn’t even let me have this small thing. But as I tried again to find the way out of it, I realized that there was none. “Ugggggh!” My cry of frustration was the only thing I could muster before I started to walk to where Lena had initially brought me in. I was nearly worried that Cynthia would take issue with outburst of emotion, but I had to let it out regardless. As I was about to exit the parlor, Cynthia started to step behind me without saying a word, apparently letting my expression of dissatisfaction go. I stopped right in front of the large doorway leading to the main hall, and in a split second I decided on something else before leaving, a small attempt to wrestle back any form of control. I turned back toward the three of them, all in eyesight. I took a deep breath to calm myself, I stood up straight and I addressed them all one last time with as much confidence as I could “And my name, is Lady Revallia.” After which I immediately turned and walked out in search of my room.