[15- did I scare you]

The cab driver was the same, but today every single bump and dip in the road made Scarlet’s head swim in throbbing, painful sensations, like the shock of jumping into freezing water, all contained inside her skull. It was not a migraine, or a hangover—she knew how to remedy those, even as she got older and they got worse. No, this was from missing a dose of her medications. She’d been so caught up in her time speaking to Emilia that she’d missed it, and she was paying.

A sip from her coffee helped her head, even as her hand shook. The only cure for it now was more caffeine and praying, frankly. Doubling morning meds wouldn’t help anything, and she’d just have to wait it out.

God I want another burrito.

She fished her phone from her jacket pocket, finally trying to dress for the cooling weather, and gave Velásquez’s five stars and a little blurb about how well their food traveled. The cabby pulled to a stop, he was paid his usual fare and tip and Scarlet was out and headed to the elevator.

Somewhere between déjà vu and a recurring dream, Scarlet lingered on the plaque on the directory. Scarlet did not think of her boss as the proprietor of Kane Arbitration & Mediation Legal Services this morning.

How do you do this sort of thing? Act normal? I’ve fucked coworkers before, but this is a little different than a cute hostess…right?

The poor woman only got more flustered as the events of the weekend came back to her in flashes. She stood there, struck by her own depravity and remembered the culmination of their prolonged date, wetting herself willingly, and then an orgasm inside the wet diaper.

Scarlet bit a knuckle and, finding the elevator only halfway up and herself the sole occupant, allowed herself a small stomping release of blushing frustration. Her appearance was already returned to its proper neat and prim status by time the elevator doors opened.

The door to the office was already unlocked when she arrived six minutes before the start of her shift. Scarlet entered hesitantly, like she was expecting an ambush on the other side, but the room was silent. She could hear movement from Emilia’s office, the sliding of steel cabinets and clicking of heels. Scarlet took a sip of her coffee again, set down her bag, and went to face the awkwardness head-on.

“Em-Miss Kane?” Scarlet corrected herself. Emilia turned from an open file to look at her with a small smile.

“Good morning, Miss Finch. How long until my first appointment?” The words were distant, but the tone was pleasant, more than just office familiarity.

Scarlet already knew, but stumbled over her words anyway, unsure how to act. “Uh, about an hour until your first call, Miss, and you have the follow up appointment with Christopher and Lila this afternoon. Did you need anything from me beforehand?” She stood there, scanning her boss’s face, trying to make sure she hadn’t done anything wrong in the short time since they spoke and now. Her head buzzed, uncomfortable pressure making her feel a little dizzy mixing with fluttering, blooming feelings.

If Emilia noticed, she didn’t say anything. She moved around to the edge of her desk, closer to Scarlet, and sat on it like she had last week. “Then you can drop formalities until then. How are you, dear?” The tone was unchanged, but her smile brightened.

Scarlet couldn’t help but feel a flutter of delight as she watched her boss turn back into her girlfriend. This was the woman she’d kissed in the moonlight. “Good,” she said, dumbly, wishing she could describe how she’d actually felt. “I wasn’t sure how we’d handle things, even with the rules, if I'm being honest.”

Emilia beckoned her closer with one finger, and Scarlet obeyed. The taller woman took the coffee from her shaking hands, setting it down on the desk and then gently resting her palms on Scarlet’s hips.

“I think that’s natural. It’s new territory,” Emilia said, in a low, conversational voice. Probably to assuage her nerves, Scarlet assumed, but it only elicited a different kind of physical response. “Unless stated otherwise, be mindful of what you call me, say, twenty minutes before someone’s supposed to arrive?”

Seemed reasonable. Seemed—rational. Seemed…practiced. Did Emilia think about this a lot since Sunday morning, or—

Scarlet nodded, banishing the thought, and placed her hands on Emilia’s shoulders, at first for balance, then to feel her defined collarbone through her blouse. “I can do that. Are we still on full rules otherwise? Like, calling you a title and all?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Emilia smiled, leaning in, giving Scarlet’s lips a delicate brush of her own. “Two questions, dear. Do you have your lines from your punishment last night?”

Scarlet blushed as she nodded, feeling small. She retrieved the folded sheet from the pocket of her skirt. Scarlet watched Emilia unfold it and examine her handwriting, not realizing she was holding her breath until her boss gave a small smile.

“Good girl,” Emilia purred, making Scarlet give a bashful grin in return. She wasn’t used to such an overt desire for praise. Emilia cleared her throat and continued, “Secondly, is this lipstick the same kind of lipstick you wore on our date?”

Scarlet turned her head in confusion, wanting more of a kiss and to make sense of the question. It took her a moment to respond, trying to remember. “Yeah, the same brand and line. Why?”

“Because it held up very well on our date. I wanted to make sure before I smeared your makeup everywhere.” Emilia leaned back in, kissing her with deep, firm intent. It reminded Scarlet of their first kiss, the tension leading to it, and made her just as happy.

Scarlet let her hands wander to the back of Emilia’s head in a happy clasp of prayer around her lover.

“You’re very smooth when you want to be,” Scarlet couldn't hide the smile in her voice once they separated.

“And you are quite the kisser.” Emilia’s smirk returned and Scarlet could feel her eyes scanning her. “Is everything all right?”

The swimming, buzzing sensation hadn’t entirely left her head, but Scarlet nodded anyway, coming up with another excuse on the spot.

“I just,” she started, finding an actual concern along the way. “I believe you when you say it, but it’s hard to accept. I’m really not in trouble anymore?”

“You’re really not.” Emilia leaned in and left a gentle kiss on Scarlet’s forehead, the instant of contact pressing right on a nerve that lessened her head’s dizzying sensations. “Besides, you enjoyed that first spanking so much, I figured they could mostly be a fun pastime, rather than a punishment. Just don’t lock your knees next time. It makes it harder to breathe.”

Scarlet blushed, hiding her face in Emilia’s shoulder as she realized the truth in her statement. Scarlet had panicked and done the exact wrong thing at every turn for her last spanking, and that had probably only made the situation worse.

Emilia lifted her hands from Scarlet’s hips, one resting on her back and the other to the curls on the back of her head. The taller woman’s arms comforted her as they wrapped, holding her tight. “I’ll have to get started preparing for that call and the rest of my meetings soon. Before that-” Emilia said, a soft-spoken, almost tender voice that Scarlet recognized from when her boss had to plead with her to breathe. “I’m not going to hate you for earning a punishment. Your ex maybe gave you a bit of a complex over little things like that?”

A reflex, a kick from her heart, and Scarlet realized she wanted to defend Barbara. In the before-before, they’d loved each other, and if anyone had done anything to hurt each other intentionally, they would be equally culpable. Besides, her parents were the original designers of many of her complexes.

Another, just as vocal shard covered for her instead, “None that I didn’t say last night.”

It was a shallow deflection, even for her. She wanted to have something more clever to say, or to even be righteously indignant. How dare Emilia play psychoanalyst first thing in the morning! Her brain raced, not with clever subject changes, but with snippy, crude barbs to match the pain inside her skull. She didn’t like that impulse.

Emilia’s hands didn’t allow her the satisfaction of getting angry. She could feel fingers run through her freshly washed curls. Scarlet couldn’t help but allow the tension drain from her shoulders, something she hadn’t realized had happened.

“That’s my princess,” Emilia cooed. Scarlet could hear the smile on her voice as it took on its saccharine, tauntingly sweet tone. “Ready to get to work?”

* * *

Scarlet could hear snippets of her girlfriend’s voice down the hall as the day started to pass in a rhythm that was growing familiar. She noted how even if she couldn’t quite make out the words, Emilia always signed off a call with the same lilting, almost birdsong-like cadence, and it always made her ears perk up.

The work was slow, the content often dull, but Scarlet could always feel her motivation improve with a stray thought of Emilia’s smile, her eyes, her dimples, how muscular her back looked…

Scarlet shook her head to clear her thoughts, and when she opened her eyes again, the ping of a message from Emilia appeared on her monitor. Can you come back and we’ll start planning lunch?

The woman smiled, typing a quick confirmation before gathering her things and heading to Emilia’s office.

When she arrived, Emilia was bent over the bottom drawer of a cabinet, holding files in her arms. “Can you hold these, Miss Finch?”

When Scarlet was done staring at her boss’s ass, she took the growing stack of files, struggling momentarily to balance something tall enough to block her vision. “Rearranging? Or should I shred these?”

“Something like rearranging,” Emilia replied, and Scarlet could hear the nefarious grin in her voice. Scarlet looked at her, puzzled, unsure how someone could manage to lay a trap just by rearranging a filing cabinet.

It only took the time Emilia needed to arrange the files distributed throughout the drawers above before her evil plot was exposed to Scarlet.

Emilia returned to her desk, reaching under it and producing a tote bag full of something that made loud, plastic crinkling as it moved within. Scarlet’s eyes went wide in recognition.

Emilia reached into the bag, and placed baby oil, wipes, powder, a small box of trash bags, and finally the bag of megamax diapers into the bottom drawer. They’d bought multiple of each of the changing supplies, and Scarlet deduced this wasn’t her girlfriend’s entire supply, but that only made her ears start to burn more. Emilia closed the drawer, and sighed contently at a task completed. She looked over at Scarlet, who felt her face get ever so slightly warmer and her pulse accelerating as she looked away.

Those were the ones we bought together, and she’s going to keep them here? Scarlet’s thoughts raced, her pulse turning an ignition key inside her still swimming skull. Another thought came, one that diminished the slight enjoyment she derived from such an embarrassing, patronizing, controlling gesture.

Has she been planning this since then? Or has she done this before?

Has Emilia done this little dance with a new hire before?

Her employer spoke, and she was forced to focus, if only momentarily, “I wanted to be prepared for when I want to play with my favorite toy.”

Scarlet couldn’t help but feel her eyes grow big, giving Emilia a pleading, eyelash batting look as she melted on the spot. She was still torn between her anxieties and enjoying Emilia’s domineering performance, but the latter was definitely winning out.

“Use your words, bunny,” Emilia cooed to her before giving a dark chuckle. “Do you have something to say before I send you out for our lunch?”

The simple, cloyingly sweet words made her hands shoot up to her eyes, eliciting a whine and a shake of her head. She cleared her throat after a moment and answered with a small but noticeable quiver, “N…no... mommy.”

“Good. I’ll have to order more soon and keep a pack here. Care to go to the little bistro down the block today?”

She’d never moved so fast to do a task at work in her life.

* * *

“So be good and finish all of your drink, and I’ll go easy on you. Deal?” Emilia smirked, looking across her desk at Scarlet. They both poked at soups and salads, though Scarlet had turned bright red and was gazing intently at her lunch to avoid her girlfriend’s dominant gaze.

“Something tells me you ‘going easy’ on me is still going to fry my brain.” Scarlet tried to quip back, but regretted confirming how susceptible she was to Emilia.

“Oh? And what makes you think that, Miss Finch?”

“Call it a Woman’s Intuition,” she answered between bites of lunch. “Or basic pattern recognition.”

Scarlet was a bit proud as Emilia had to cover her mouth to laugh. The prim and proper woman wasn’t so disastrously mannered to speak with a mouth half full, even covered (unlike Scarlet), but her retort caught her mid bite.

“Mouthy, always getting the last word, don’t you?” Emilia laughed, finally clearing her throat of her choking hazard. “I wonder how sassy you’d be if you couldn’t talk? I’ve got a gag or two.”

Scarlet swallowed her nerves and the remainder of her lunch. “Like…like a gag where I can’t close my mouth but also can’t speak? The little red ball kind?” She felt her face turn red with a simultaneous shock of fear in her eyes. After Emilia nodded, Scarlet panicked, scrambling for a defense. “Is that really a good idea? Like, I kind of shut down…I couldn’t talk for a bit, right? Does that not seem…like smoking in dry brush?”

“Ah, clever little thing.” Emilia smiled, taking a long sip from her drink. “When doing a scene like that, where someone cannot speak, it’s best practice to use some kind of hand signal or gesture to answer the dominant or use a safeword. We would establish that before I limited your speech or restrained you.”

Scarlet nodded sagely, trying to follow along, or even appear like she understood, even as her swimming head struggled. Scarlet winced as Emilia’s eyes lit up, not even trying to hide that a new, nefarious thought had just crossed her mind.

“Maybe since you’re a little, it should be baby sign!”

“Baby sign?”

“Baby sign language? Simplified ASL for tiny baby hands to talk to their mommies and daddies before they can say a lot of words. Would you like that, baby?”

“Emms….” Scarlet gave a quiet whine, hiding behind the plastic bottle of her drink as the thought set in. She couldn’t think, too flustered from her ears burning and her head swimming, to fully decide if she liked the embarrassing notion.

“Aww, are you getting shy, sweet thing?” Emilia’s cooing turned up a notch, the intensity telling Scarlet she was on the prowl, looking to back her into this wordplay trap. “I think it would be sweet. Kind of like taking a Mommy and Me class, right? And if you do go nonverbal again, it might actually be helpful for asking for things, no?”

Scarlet finally conceded, unable to fight as her body responded to Emilia’s tone, finishing off her tea. She focused, only acknowledged her embarrassment and the small, enjoyable flush of arousal. At least, she told herself that she wouldn’t acknowledge her impulse to avoid asking for her wants like a leper.

“I’ll learn them, I guess.” Scarlet poked at the last bits of vegetation and her bread, trying not to think of a Mommy and Me class with the domineering woman.

“That’s ‘yes, mommy.’” She corrected, finishing the last of her own drink.

“Yes, mommy,” Scarlet obeyed, another small smile growing. “Sorry.”

“No problem, bunny. Mommy is going to excuse herself to the powder room. Enjoy the rest of your break and then make sure you’re back in work mode before the two pm appointment, she’ll be here in person.” Emilia slid her office chair back as she spoke, gathering bits of trash. Before leaving, she produced yet another gift from under her desk; a massive canteen water bottle made of hard, shiny metal. It clanked and thudded as it landed on the desk, making Scarlet’s head sting momentarily. “And I expect you to drink this throughout the day. I want it at least half empty by end-of-day, understood?”

“Yes, mommy,” she repeated, and let a quick thought cover her blushing. “Any other surprises under that desk, Miss Poppins?”

Emilia gave her a raised eyebrow, but Scarlet could tell she was suppressing a grin at the younger woman’s jokes.

“It’s a title! ‘Miss Poppins’ is a title.”

“Not helping your case, little one,” Emilia said, gently scratching Scarlet’s scalp as she passed towards the front door.

Scarlet let a meek smile grow at the praise. “I had a few more lined up.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute. No more, okay? Back to work.”

She looked down, then back up to her girlfriend. Emilia returned her concerned look.

“Can I,” she stopped, looking for the words, “can I say one more?” Emilia raised an eyebrow. Scarlet quickly continued, “If it’s not funny you can count it against me?”

“Are you sure about that? That’s a dangerous precedent.”

“I was gonna call you ‘the Bride of Frankenstein’.”

Scarlet saw Emilia’s eyebrow somehow go higher, and Scarlet giggled. After a moment, Emilia lifted a tentative hand to her head, before wrapping the shock of platinum blonde hair in her fingers.

“I was going for Anna Paquin from X-men…” Emilia couldn’t hide a smile back as Scarlet broke out in laughter, and Emilia turned to leave, speaking over her shoulder, “Precedent set, little girl. Funny or not, I expect you to drink, understand? Be good.”

Now that she was alone, hearing her girlfriend’s departure, she eyed the massive canteen warily. Her face turned red, and her leg bounced, trying to puzzle out the meaning of both Emilia’s order and her quip.

* * *

Scarlet was at her desk two hours later, hearing her girlfriend’s voice match their client’s down the hall, and she eyed the canteen warily. Her face was hinted flush, her leg bounced, and she had deduced the answer to her questions.

She was already close to the halfway mark, as instructed, with a few hours still to go before her deadline. Perhaps that was too fast to drink. Or perhaps it was the androgen she took with her hormone therapy being essentially a diuretic. She merely had to wait until the client left and they had a long break before their final meeting with Chris and Lila. Scarlet had to pee like her life depended on it.

Desperate, she began typing, I need to run to the restroom real quick, will I miss her on her way out for follow -ups if I go right now?

Her leg began bouncing even faster, but she knew she wouldn’t sit here until she pissed herself. If she didn’t need to be there to make an appointment for follow-up, she would’ve already left. Both immediately before and immediately after were the only times she really needed to be at the front desk.

Her computer beeped, and Emilia’s reply made her give a small seethe to herself, so long as she was alone.

Are you asking me as your boss or? The implied ‘mommy’ wasn’t needed. It occurred to her that Emilia probably didn’t want any of their play digitally recorded.

Miss Kane, that’s not funny. Hold her for five minutes. Her message was sent, she stood from her chair, only for her to hear the door to the office open. “fuckme,” she muttered under her breath, sitting back down and getting ready to do her job.

A minute later, she was entering Emilia’s office. “She is scheduled for a week from today at 10:30, Miss Kane.”

Scarlet stood there, her notepad in hand, under the assumption Emilia needed her for her secretarial duties. The smirk on her boss’s face told her otherwise.

“I don’t think you give orders to me, sweet thing, either as my employee or my submissive,” Emilia teased, half sarcasm and half mocking taunt. She didn’t mean it, Scarlet could tell, it was merely a way to demonstrate her power in their dynamic.

Scarlet opened her mouth, only to feel another painful pang in her bladder. Her face turned red, and she hid it behind her notepad. The cramps were still building, the dam near overflowing, and yet somehow…the pressure felt nice?

“Aww, no hiding. Can you use your manners and ask again, bunny?”

Scarlet couldn’t see her girlfriend, but she was certain that Emilia’s teeth had grown pointed like a devil’s as she flashed them in her smirk.

She had no time to be coy and play into the humiliating scenario, even if she wanted to.

“I-” she squirmed in place, both in pain and in embarrassment, interrupting herself. “Miss, I’m sorry, please, I'll be more polite with my words,” she scrambled for her words, moving the notebook down to give her domme a pleading, puppy-eyed look. “Please let me use the bathroom.”

“That was much better, princess! One ‘sorry’ and two ‘please’s, I think you’ve earned it. Quick like a bunny, before you make a puddle.”

Scarlet dashed from the spot, only slowing to toss the notepad onto her desk, open the office door and make sure no one would see her sprinting to the bathroom in obvious desperation. Once she was sure the hallway was clear, the ladies room door flew open and she claimed an open stall for herself.

The relief washed over her, and she had to clench her jaw to hold in a deep sigh in the event someone else had been in the bathroom with her. She’d never felt her body relax as much as it had now, desperate pressure finally lifted from her poor bladder.

Scarlet still allowed herself a deep breath, and got comfortable. She’d be there for a while. It afforded her time to think, but not much else.

Had Emilia been plotting this as well? How long has she been hoping to do this to me? She thought back to how much water she’d been ordered to drink today and recalled a similar scenario over the weekend. I drank like four sippy cups full of fucking water! She’s been trying to make me desperate like this.

What would she have done if I actually did lose control in the office?

She shook her head, unable to help herself but laugh at the thought. She finished her business in the toilet—like a big girl, she grimaced to herself, imagining Emilia’s saccharine sweet taunt— and stood. Her missing medication dose reared its head again, making her dizzy and her brain throb inside its casing.

Scarlet decided she was still miffed about how much Emilia had plotted this out, even if the sensation of relief (and ONLY the relief, she told herself) was nice afterwards. The walk back was filled with the click of her shoes on the floor, scoring her anger. She didn’t stop at her desk, instead heading straight back to Emilia’s office.

“Miss Kane, I need-” she stopped her indignant speech short, getting dizzy again for a moment. When her eyes refocused, she saw Emilia standing next to the filing cabinet.

Scarlet’s eyes went wide as she realized, the one she loaded this morning with the diapering stuff.

“Oh, no need for formal work talk, dear. I think mommy is in and ready to take care of you.” She pulled the drawer open with one hand, not breaking eye contact with Scarlet as she produced one of the diapers.

Scarlet wasn’t sure if she was dizzy now from the headrush of blood as she blushed, the embarrassment in general, her missing medications, or the mere prospect of Emilia diapering her at work.

Her arms full, Emilia returned to her desk, moving the arm mounted monitor out of the way and clearing the few stray items temporarily.

When Scarlet didn’t move, Emilia gave her a look of faux-confusion, as if the implied order was the simplest, easy-to-follow command ever given. “Hop up, Scarlet. I’m going to pamper you to help you manage all that water you’ve still got to drink.”

“Miss…” she stammered, lucky that she had defaulted to something close to a title in her stunned confusion.

“Yes dear? Do you need my help getting onto the desk?” Emilia smirked as the diaper, wipes, powder and oil were set on the desk. The open space was big enough to hold Scarlet, just barely, but it felt ominous as she loomed over it from the opposite side.

“Mommy, this isn’t fair!” she answered, giving a meek little whine. She hated that she felt her skin getting flush at the prospect, her arousal fighting with her anger in her throbbing skull. “I didn’t–”

“Scarlet, baby, this isn’t a punishment,” Emilia said. She was trying to head off what she imagined her concerns to be, but she was missing the point, she wasn’t letting her talk.

“It better not be, because I didn’t do anything!” Scarlet paused, closed her eyes and took a quick breath, trying to force herself not to yell.

Just as much of her had wanted to give in initially. But being talked over, the mention of punishment, the throbbing in her skull, maybe even just the audacity of the act in question? It was too much. Take your pick of which, or maybe all of them combined.

She let her anger speak.

“Is this what you do, plot all weekend on how to domme your employees? How many times have you done that before?”

Both women blinked in recognition at what was actually happening, the words hanging in the air.

“Miss Kane, I’m sorry,” Scarlet scrambled again, the second time in fifteen minutes to avoid catastrophe in Emilia’s office.

“I…can see why you thought that.” Emilia looked at the diaper, pensive. Scarlet couldn’t tell if it had hurt the way she’d wanted to in her anger.

She hoped more than anything before that she was wrong.

“I didn’t mean it. I just–”

“You’re fine to be overwhelmed, dear,” Emilia supplied when Scarlet couldn’t finish her own thought. She didn’t seem hurt, but Scarlet heard words she’d been dreading; “Does this mean you’re done?” Emilia turned back to her, looking more like she’d had an appointment cancel at the last minute, than the end of a relationship.

“No!” she pleaded. It was so frustrating how she couldn’t manage to talk her way out of anything with Emilia. “No, not at all. I…” Scarlet cringed to herself. She’d done it again, stuck her foot in her mouth in anger. It was almost worse that this could be attributed to her medication slip, like she’d relapsed on her deplorable habits in more ways than one. “I take it back. I felt backed into a corner and I tried being hurtful. I’ve been miserable all day from missing one of my prescriptions and-” she sighed in frustration at herself, but was blocked from continuing.

“Easy, easy, no harm no foul, dear-” Emilia cut her off, preempting the onsetting ramble. “We’ll dissect that issue with your medication another time. It takes much more to wound me than that. Are you okay?”

The sudden tenderness in Emilia’s voice confused her, unsure of, yet again, why Emilia had deemed her so easily forgiven again.

“That…that’s what you’re worried about?” She finally landed on, feeling dumb. “Yeah, I'll be okay. I don’t get how I’m more upset about this than you are.”

“Being upset at a little verbal barb wouldn’t have helped,” Emilia said, sitting at her desk. “I think you can make it up to me by getting on the desk unless you’re tapping out.”

Scarlet blinked.

“And the answer is ‘no,’ I’ve never dated a subordinate. Colleagues, but not coworkers, and that was before I was a domme.” The small triumphant smile gave away that she truly hadn’t been hurt. Hell, she probably took it as a compliment, I improvised something so devilish that you assumed I was a practiced hand.

“Oh.” Scarlet was always verbose and collected in these moments.

She felt like she had shrunk in place, her blush returning despite herself. Emilia really didn’t care. She was able to handle Scarlet at her worst, most destructive tendencies.

She can handle me, she shivered, the realization washing over her like the cold fall winds. She could be physically overpowered, outwitted, go blow for blow in quips, and do her absolute worst. Emilia would be on top no matter what. Scarlet felt her skin grow flush again at the notion.

“Now, if that’s all settled, and you’re ready to be my good girl again? Up up!” Emilia sang, pointing at the desk before her. Scarlet took a shaky step to obey, earning a cooing, adoring look from her girlfriend. “That’s my good girl, much better!”

Scarlet was lowering herself onto the desk when Emilia continued, “Just remember, the longer you protest, the better the chance they will hear you.” Her domme pointed to the computer screen, and a small security camera feed showed two people in front of the office. Scarlet’s eyes went wide as she recognized Chris and Lila opening the front door.