Quiet filled the room, strangely empty. Aside from the sound of the door as it gently clicked closed, there was little to cut through the mood but movement and breath. She took a deep breath. Her hands were clasped together, pressed to her lips. I could tell she’d been praying. We were alone now, just her and I. The others were gone. No police. No family. Just an idiot child trying to save face as she sat down next to apparently the only person in the world who would have her. I didn’t have anywhere left to go; if she wouldn’t have me, no one would.

“If my mama caught me trying to pull what you just did, I’d be getting smacked upside the head and chased out of the house right now.”

It took most of me not to look up at her for support. Next to her was a very intimate spot to be sitting in. The futon wasn’t very big, but it was comfortable. Definitely more comfortable than anything I’d slept in up to that point. Which over the last few days had been nowhere. If I had anywhere else to stay, I wouldn’t be here.

She was lucky to have a mom at all, because I certainly didn’t. Hearing others talk about their family always made me jealous. I had memories of my family, but none of them were memories I’d ever said out loud. My real mother wouldn’t have me, not like she would. Not like my foster mom would. “You’re not my mom.”

“Tough shit, I’m as good as you’ve got.” Colleen was mad, and she wasn’t even trying to hide it. “You’re lucky our neighbor can’t make bail, or else he’d have your ass for stealing his wife’s car. I have half a mind to whoop your ass for that myself, and you’d better be glad I’m not.”

Did her threats scare me? Yes, even though I knew they were empty. “You wouldn’t.”

“Damn right, I wouldn’t. I’m not about to get you kids taken away from another home, and we can barely afford shoes as it is.” She paused for a moment, remembering to breathe. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

I never could quite figure out whether she expected me to answer that, or if it even really mattered to her like it did to me. I asked myself that all the time. What’s wrong with me? I hoped there was something wrong with me, but I was scared that there wasn’t. There was clearly something there, I just couldn’t see it. There had to be. Because if there wasn’t- why did it have to be me? If there was nothing wrong with me, why would my life be so unfair?

Her words were clearly coming from a place of deep concern and fear, not anger. It was something you could only feel in her voice. She wouldn’t be so vocal about it if she really didn’t care.

“You have had me worried sick for days, Sophia. I have never been so scared in my life, I was even starting to think you were dead. Do you know how many hours I have spent sitting here, waiting for you to come back?”

That tiny heart inside of me twitched, aching. It shouldn’t have ached as bad as it was. This was what I’d hoped for when I ran away. I’d probably spent as much time hoping that she would miss me while I was gone as she had spent missing me, all while telling myself that she wouldn’t. Yet for some reason I only felt worse for knowing that she did.

“I don’t care.” I lied, wiping the tears from my eyes with my sleeve. It was shocking to think that I even had tears left to cry after everything I’d just been through. But I didn’t cry then, and I wasn’t about to cry now. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know you don’t, but you have to. We need to talk about this. Now. Please talk to me.” She begged, attitude fading away as her own insecurities clawed their way back to the surface. “Can you please just tell me what I’ve done wrong?”

Breath caught itself in my throat, choking back the pathetic sounds I could just feel coming. I’d spent so much time asking myself what was wrong with me, but I’d never considered that she might have been asking the same about herself.

“First you start skipping classes, then you start getting into fights, and now this. Where did I go wrong, Sophia? Where did I go wrong that you’d rather be out there all on your own than here with me?” She blamed herself. Of course she blamed herself. I probably would have done the same. “I’ve never hit you. I’ve never locked you in your room. I’ve never let you leave a scrap of food on your plate. I’ve never once let you be late for school. If there’s something I’m doing wrong, please tell me. I want to make sure you’re healthy, and happy, and safe. What am I doing wrong?”

My hands curled into fists, trying to fight back these feelings. It wasn’t her fault. It was my fault. I knew that. I was the one who made her feel this way. I was the one that no one would have. “Nobody wants me.”

“I want you. I wouldn’t have you if I didn’t want you. You know that, right?”

“You’re only saying that because you have to. I’m only here because I can’t get adopted, and you have to take care of me. Nobody wants me. All of the other kids my age got adopted, but not me. What’s wrong with me?” I was a tough girl, or so I liked to think. But this hurt. “Nobody loves me.”

What a miserable child I must have been. It made me want to run away all over again, if just so that I couldn’t hurt her any more than I already had.

“I love you.” She rested a hand on my shoulder. “I made something for you while you were gone. I wanted to be able to show you that you were welcome when you came back. If you ever came back. I want you to know how much I love you.”

Colleen gave me a few moments, letting me accept her handiwork at my own pace. She’d made me a stuffed dog, big enough to hold tight for comfort. It wasn’t much. It wasn’t something that I’d ever thought I would want. But it was the best thing anyone had ever done for me.

I never cried. I’d ran away from home. I’d stolen a car. I’d driven halfway across the city all alone. And I’d been picked up by the police and dragged back home. Not a single tear. I didn’t care.

But it was this. This moment of seeing all of the hurt I’d caused her while I was gone. This was what got me. This was what finally broke me down into tears. Realizing just how much I must have meant to my foster mother for her to do anything like this for me, that was what sent me curling up into a bawling mess in her arms.

Tears poured out of my eyes for the first time that I could remember, ever. My voice cracked, my body shook, my heart trembled. “I’m sorry…”

“Where have you been, honey? What happened out there?” She wrapped her arms around me, rocking me back and forth. “Why did you leave?"

“I wanted to see my mom and dad again.” I quietly admitted between sobs, knowing that I couldn’t very well keep it hidden from her. “I just want to have a family like the other kids.”

The disappointment in her voice cut deep, gasping. “You didn’t.”

“They weren’t even there anymore.” I choked. “The neighbors called the cops on me.”

The sound of it broke my foster mother’s heart. “Those people aren’t your parents, honey.”

“Yes, they are-”

“No, they’re not.” She tugged me from her chest, cradling my face in her hands as she looked at me. “Nobody who abandons their daughter is good enough to be called her parents, Sophia. It doesn’t matter where you come from, those people aren’t your family.”

Teary eyes shut, biting down on my lip. “I don’t have a family.”

“Yes you do, honey. I’m your family.” She reached towards me, gently wiping the tears from my eyes so that she could see me. “I wouldn’t be so worried about you if I didn’t love you.”

I held my new stuffed dog as tight as I could. “You’re just saying that cuz you know I’m never gonna get adopted.”

“I’m sorry, honey. But I’m gonna be honest with you. You’re fourteen years old. If you haven’t been adopted yet, I don’t think it’s gonna happen. I’m sorry.” The woman who I would eventually come to accept as my mom forcibly uncurled my fingers from fists. “Sure you’ve been here longer than any of the other kids, but that just means you’ve been here with me longer than you were with anyone else. And I’ve been with you longer than I’ve been with any of the other kids.”

I sniffled at her. “So?”

“You’re a big girl. You’ve been here for eight years, four more are going to fly by before you know it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I don’t want you holding out hope that it’s gonna happen. I’ve never had a teenager here before. People don’t come to adopt teenagers. I want you to feel secure.” She placed her hands on both of my shoulders, filling me with that sense of security I needed. “I’m only doing this because I wanna do what’s right for you, Sophia. If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. But I know you want someone to adopt you, and do you know what else?”

“What?”

“I want to adopt you.”

It was hard for me, especially as a kid, and I’m sure it would be even harder now. Her words broke me into sobs right there in her arms, falling apart with one word. “Okay.”

My foster mother smiled warmly, trying to hide that she was crying too. “Okay?”

That was all I had to say. “Okay…”

“Okay.” She held me close, refusing to let go of me. “And I can see about getting your last name changed if you’d like?”

“To your last name, you mean?”

“Honey, if you weren’t a white girl with a white name, you’d be in jail right now. You’re not gonna get by like that with a name like Caballero. Trust me.”

“Whatever.” I scoffed, more than a little bit hurt by that. “You’re never going to be my mom anyways.”

“I don’t care what you call me. But as long as you’re in my house, you’re my kid.”

My heart sank, thinking about the other kids in the house. “They’re your kids too?”

“Not if they’re adopted soon, they’re not.” She sighed, trying to keep me from spiraling again. “But until you’re miraculously adopted, you’re my kid, and you’re big enough to start helping out around here.”

“Help out?” The thought made me groan. “Why should I have to help out?”

“Because if you’re gonna be a mom someday- you’re gonna wanna know how to cook, clean, sew, take care of kids- and most importantly- take care of yourself. I promised myself I’d teach my daughters all the things I didn’t let my mom teach me.” She took the stuffed border collie from my arms and set it into her lap, snapping at me to grab her sewing supplies from her purse. “And since I’m never giving birth, you’re the closest I’ve got. I never let my mom teach me any of that, and I’m not gonna let you make the same mistake.”

“I don’t want to work with kids. That sounds lame.” I crossed my arms at my chest, wishing she hadn’t suddenly taken the dog from me. “You want me to learn how to be a mom, but you won’t teach me how to swim?”

“I don’t know how to swim.” She paused, only putting that fact together. “But I know how to take care of myself. I can’t teach you how to swim, but I can teach you that.”

It took me a few moments, but I knew from the onset that I wasn’t going to say no. “Can we learn to swim together?”

“You can learn to swim when you go to college.” She whipped her head around, glaring at me. “And you are going to college.”

“What?! But I don’t want-”

“It’s part of your parole. You go to college, or you can learn to swim in a cell. I won’t be catching a child of mine going to juvy, so it’s the books or it’s big girl jail. Your choice, chica.”

A frustrated blush made its way onto my cheeks. “Fine.”

“Good.” She grinned proudly, stringing her thread through the needle eye as she prepared to sew. “Now watch close cuz I ain’t doing this more than once.”

She quickly went to work sewing my name into the ear of the stuffed doll. And I watched as closely as I could, if only because I was just happy to be back. As much as I hated to admit it, I did love her.

“There.” She admired her work, showing it off to me. “How does she look?”

“Perfect.” I whined reluctantly, taking the plush dog back into my arms. Fourteen years old, an avid tomboy, I didn’t really want to be made fun of for squeezing a stuffed animal. But I’d never actually had one before, and I was happy that this was the first. “Miss Colleen?”

“You don’t have to call me mom if you don’t want to. I won’t mind.”

And I knew she did mind, but I still didn’t do it, and I really wish I had.

Instead, I simply let it go unspoken. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie.” Colleen leaned in, worsening my blush with a kiss to the forehead before she got up to her feet. “But don’t think you’re getting off the hook that easily, because you’re in a hell of a lot of trouble. This room better be clean from head to toe before you go to bed, and since you like to spend so much time on that computer of yours, you ought to figure out some way to finish school from this house. Your ass is grounded.”

My head lowered slightly in shame, nodding in agreement. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“Good girl.” She smiled, humming happily to herself as she turned to leave. “I’m always going to be here for you, okay?”

“Okay…” Placing the stuffed dog in my lap and trying not to look up at her, I mumbled. “I’m sorry for running away.”

“You can apologize if you want, just don’t do it again.” She did her best to assure me that she wasn’t upset, when she was. “If you ever need my attention, all you have to do is ask. Remind me in the morning and I’ll get you a phone. I want you to call more often.”

My eyes locked with the tiny black dots the little dog had, nodding to her. “I’ll do my best.”

She must have noticed how much I liked the present she’d made me. “Think you’ll name her?”

“Poppy.” The name slipped out of me without a thought, naming the stuffed dog in my arms. “Her name is Poppy.”

I think hearing me say that did a lot to ease her fears, just like her words eased mine. “A lot of heart went into making that. I don’t want you to ever be alone again. I hope you like her.”

A pink flush of emotion quickly colored my cheeks as I held my new toy. “I love her.”

Colleen sighed happily, her aching heart finally at ease. “I love you, little cavalier.”

My lips parted, and then slowly came back together. I wanted to say the words back, but all I could do was smile- hopefully she could tell that I was thinking them instead.

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Once I opened that door, my world was suddenly changed forever.

And with it came a sense of uneasiness. Despite my joy at finally seeing what was inside, I could feel a knot of dread in my stomach. My heart skipped a beat as I excitedly stepped inside, hands clasped over my mouth in abject shock and elation.

It hit me less like an oncoming car and more like the force of feeling myself plunged into a great big ocean. The familiarity of it all, I wanted to dive headfirst into it.

My bedroom. It was my bedroom. It was literally my bedroom, not just the image I had in my brain of one Candace put together for me, which only made the empty feeling of my cell spread throughout the sparse barely decorated walls and floors I’d imagined. It was an honest to Goddess bedroom. My bedroom.

Candace recreated my bedroom in her own home.

“Feel free to tell me what you think was more of an instruction, honey.” She stood in the doorway with crossed arms, watching my expression. “Putting this all together wasn’t exactly an inconsequential task, a lot of work went into making this right for you.”

It wasn’t what I was expecting, I’m not sure if it was what I wanted, but it was what I got. I’d ached for home for the longest time, but now that a piece of it was coming back to me, I didn’t know if it was still something I wanted. I didn’t know what I wanted.

“I’m not gonna say anything bad, I promise.” I wanted her to know that, so when she saw the anguish in my face she wouldn’t jump to thinking that was all there was, because it wasn’t. There were some bitter nasty things building up in me just then, certainly. But those pieces were gonna be there regardless of what I got.

Candace wanted me to like it. I could see it all in her face. Candace wanted me to like it, and for once, I wanted to like it too. So when it hit me all at once just how good and just how bad it felt to be seeing this after all this time, I didn’t want to let the snarls in my brain keep me from liking it. I liked it.

“I like it.” I could have put it a different way. I could have gotten on my knees and kissed her feet, and we both would have gotten a kick out of it, but it would have been for show. I could have told her how amazing it was, but I would be exaggerating. I could have told her just how grateful I was, and I was, but I wasn’t so grateful that I needed to say it aloud. I could have said more, but it would have felt wrong. I wanted to be honest. Not just with her, but with the both of us. “I like it. I like it a lot.”

“Good.” Candace was relieved to hear it. “Need a moment to yourself?”

“No.” I didn’t need, nor did I want, a moment to myself. Being alone was the last thing I wanted right now. “It’s hard.”

Candace was the one to usher me into her arms to be held, holding me close to her. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” Her gentle hands kept me there, trembling against her body as she tried to comfort me. “We can take this as slow as you want.”

“I think I’ll be fine, it’s just a lot at once.”

“I didn’t want to overwhelm you, but I wanted you to know that I’m not going halfway for you.”

Then came the tears in my eyes. “Thank you.”

“You’ve earned it.” Candace tried to assure me, but the only thing I could think to respond with was the contrary.

“I don’t feel like I’ve earned it.” My breath contracted inside of me, letting the sobs out to play. “I don’t know what game I’m playing anymore…”

Falling. I knew what this feeling was, it was falling. Sinking.

“I already told you, you’re not playing a game. This is real life.”

“But what did I do to deserve this?” I choked, begging for some sort of explanation. “I ran away. I shouldn’t be rewarded when I get home.”

“That’s not what your mom would think, is it?” Candace ran her fingers through my hair, holding me tighter as I fell further. “She welcomed you back, didn’t she?”

The thought made me twitch. “You're not my mom.”

“But I would like to be somebody’s mom one day.” Candace finally admitted, just a bit embarrassed of herself. “And I would like to do it with you.”

Her acceptance of that only served to drive me further downward, continuing to cry into her chest. I was lucky that she let me, because six months ago it was something I never would have dreamed of. But it couldn’t last forever, and I knew that. This thing we had going for us, it was fragile. She’d put together a perfect replica of my bedroom, right down to my favorite PC. There was only one way out of this now.

“Please.” I begged, prying myself from her chest so that I could look her in the eyes. “One last match.”

Her eyes went wide at the thought of me even asking that. “Excuse you?”

“If you really love me like you say you love me, you’ll give me one last chance, please?” Tears dripped down my cheeks, curling my fists into the front of her blouse. “I’m begging you. Let me have the chance to earn my freedom. Give me one last chance to win back my humanity.”

Candace, my archrival once more, lost all color in her cheeks as she processed what I was asking. “You want to win your freedom back. In a rematch?”

“Yes.” My eyes fluttered closed, lowering myself to the bed below as I groveled for it. “All I’m asking for is the chance. Please?”

“Why?!” She screamed, heart filled with poison. “Why would I take that chance?!”

“Because you love me.” My tears quickly formed a small puddle beneath me. “And you know how much it’ll mean to me.”

“If you win, you get to go free. What do I get if I win?” Candace couldn’t quite fathom the risk I was asking her to take. “I win and everything stays the same. Why would I take that risk for nothing?”

“You wouldn’t. Not for nothing.” My eyes pleaded with hers, once again on her level. “I’m the greatest player of all time. If I can’t win my freedom back here, then there’s nothing I can do that’ll ever change that. If I lose, it’s over. I’m yours. But I can’t move on until it’s over.”

Candace bit back her anger, soul searing the color back into her cheeks. “How do you know I’ll keep my word even if I say yes?”

“Because you won’t go back on your word, not if you want me to be with you forever.” It was admittedly a long shot, but I was going to miss every shot I didn’t take. “If you don’t plan on being honest with me, then don’t play.”

“You do understand the sheer insanity of what you’re asking me to do, right? I have nothing to gain, but everything to lose. We’ve already made this mistake, Chloe. Last time I lost to you, I lost you. After everything I’ve done to get you back, you want me to risk losing you all over again?”

“You can’t lose something you don’t have, Candace. Just because I’m here with you doesn’t mean I’m yours. If you want me, you have to win me back.”

Candace stammered, falling. She could end this now. Shut me up, shut me down, shut me away. But that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted me. All of me.

“After everything you’ve done for me-” Gesturing right and left, I really did appreciate that she’d put this space together. “I’m willing to try again. I don’t want to, but I’m willing to. If you want me to give myself over, you need to earn it first. Give me the chance to earn my freedom, and I’ll give you the chance to earn my submission.”

“But this isn’t a fucking game, Chloe.” She decried, trying to pull me back in. “How does beating you in a game of Stolen Cosmos do anything to help win you back?”

“It doesn’t.” I admitted to her. “But putting my needs over yours, just this once, that would.”

“You would never know unless you won. If you lost, you could never be sure I was going to go through with it. You would be here with me, nothing would change, and I’d make that risk without you knowing. How do I win you back if you still lose in the end?”

“Because you know you can’t beat me.” Her fears were all made true by one revelation, because she knew she couldn’t win me back through skill alone. “Not unless you really are that special.”

The ultimate puzzle box. That was the game. Find a way to open it, and claim what’s inside. Until you do, all you have is a headache.

And the thought of that filled Candace with fear. “But what if I can’t win?”

“Then you let me go, and we both move on. Hopefully together.” I held my hand towards her, knowing very well that she was going to take it. “Rematch?”

And she did, shaking my hand in agreement. “Rematch.”

This was going to be the most important game of my entire life. Everything needed to go perfectly. But I was ready to take on the challenge of defeating my rival one last time.

“I set the challenge, but I’ll let you set the rules.” My voice was already cracking with anticipation. “Please be fair.”

“Alright.” Candace frowned, slowly rising to her feet. “You can play on your machine. I can play on mine. Instead of another single match, I want this to be a best of seven, just like the championship.”

A knot worked its way into my chest, but I could live with these terms. “Anything else?”

“Whoever’s name shows up on the winner’s screen wins. If you quit the game, you lose.”

“No switching, then?”

“No.” She shook her head. “No switching.”

“Is that all?”

“All that I can think of.” She nodded. “Fair enough for you?”

The fluttering in my heart was already nervously making its way to the surface as I looked up at her, seeing tears in her eyes. “This is real, right? You’re not lying to me again. If I win, you’ll let me go?”

That look on her face, though clearly one of dismay on her part, did fill me with just a bit of hope. “You’re not going to win, because I’m not going to lose. Not again. Not after last time.”

“Thank you.” I settled into my desk, slipping on my headphones. “Good luck.”

“Good luck.” She spat back, refusing to look at me. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

“You never told me what you changed my password to, did you?”

“It’s the word zero four times.” Candace was more than a little bit proud of herself for that. “I told you, I changed it to something cuter.”

My heart skipped a beat. “I can’t argue with that, I guess.”

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This was happening. This was actually happening. At least I hoped it was.

There was no way to really tell if Candace was bluffing, but I wanted to think that she wasn’t. The last time Candace had been a sore loser, she did a lot of things she was ashamed of, and if she’d changed at all she wouldn’t make the same mistake.

Could I have just gotten online and contacted the authorities? Probably. But I didn’t want to take that risk. I wanted to be honest with myself, and I wanted to be honest with her.

So I went straight into the game.

CStC vs. SoCavalier. One last match.

Zephyria. I picked Zephyria- because, well- I always picked Zephyria. We both played Zephyria exclusively, so I had no doubt in my mind that Candace would pick… Common Ground?

“What the fuck?”

My eyes glued to the screen in shock, unsure if I was seeing things right. What drugs was this woman on?

“…Is there a problem, Miss goat?” The intercom kicked on, carrying her voice with it and scaring the shit out of me.

“You don’t play Common Ground.” I shouted back, confused and suspicious. “What gives?”

“Correction. I didn’t play Common Ground.” She responded with a giggle. “I do now.”

I ground my teeth together. “You’d better be taking this seriously.”

“I’m not trying to play tricks on you, sweetie.” It cut off halfway through her sigh. “I can’t beat you at your own game, I know that. You know that. Now ready up- or step down.”

My cursor hovered over the button to start the game. She was right. I was best at playing against other Zephyria players, and I was months out of practice at even just that. But this was it, this was my last chance.

“Ready.” I took a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. “Start.”

Humans. She had to play humans. It was an interesting change of pace. But that was all it was, a change of pace. No part of me was mentally prepared for Candace to switch factions, to the humans of all things, but it wasn’t like it lost me the first game. Consider who she’s up against. She played well, but playing well just wasn’t good enough. There was no way for Candace to win.

Yet for some reason, I felt like I was losing my mind. After just the first game, which I won, I was suddenly struck with a strange feeling in my stomach.

“It’s alright…” I mumbled to myself, trying to keep calm. “It’s a best of seven. You’re doing fine.”

I won that game. 1 - 0. I was leading. But something was off. It still felt like somehow I hadn’t quite earned that win.

Of course Candace was going to trail behind out the gate, just asking her to do this must have put a considerable amount of stress on her. I imagine she probably wasn’t too happy about this right about now, even if she knew I was the better player, Candace was the one in control here. I didn’t want her to win, but I also didn’t want her to get frustrated and cancel the match. If she did that, it was over.

“Hey Candace?” I asked into the air, hoping she could hear me. “Can we take breaks between rounds?”

And sure enough, she did. But her tone was not exactly pleased. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Okay…” I sighed, prying away from my chair and heading back out there. It didn’t even occur to me until I got there that she might have just been tricking me into going AFK so that she could win the next round. But thankfully for me, she wasn’t.

This was going to be an all day thing.

Candace had her face hidden behind her hands by the time I got to her, having correctly assumed she’d still be in the entertainment room. If the look in her eyes was anything to go by, she was taking this as seriously as I was.

“Are you doing alright, Ma’am?” I asked, slowly opening the door.

She looked me dead in the eyes and snarled. “Do I look alright?”

I shook my head. “No, Ma’am.”

A little piece of her was regretting even making this bet, and seeing the hurt it was causing her, a piece of me was regretting it too. But that was still the very same piece of me I was keeping locked away in the back of my brain.

“You played well, though.” I smiled, doing my best to try and cheer her up without belittling her. “I wasn’t expecting humans.”

“It didn’t make a difference.” She snapped, clearly frustrated to the point of vitriol. “Nothing I can do is going to make a difference. I can’t beat you.”

“You know that’s not true. I’m a whole year out of practice compared to you, and you’ve literally spent the last weekend watching the rest of the world’s best and taking notes. I-” I sputtered to a stop, coughing. She couldn’t cancel this match, I needed her to keep going. “I’m not giving up on my hopes of going free, despite my chances, why should you?”

Her gaze glazed over, charmed by the floor beneath my feet. “I don’t know what game we’re playing anymore either.”

My whole body twitched. “Oh my god. Nut the fuck up already.”

Candace’s eyes shot up. That clearly got her attention. “Come again?”

“I’m not going to fall for your pansy wansy oh woe is me sweetpea act. I’m here to win my freedom, not hurt your feelings. Grow a pair of balls and play like a girl, please. I’m not trying to trounce all over you, you’re the one who’s letting me.” When all else fails, be a brat. “You really think this sad bitter monster husk is someone I’d ever willingly call Master? No, because you’re better than that.”

And that was what it was all about, wasn’t it?

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go test the shower if that’s alright with you.” I teased, hoping she’d take me up on my next offer. “If you finish with whatever this is, I wouldn’t mind if you joined me.”

Candace had caught me by the wrist before I’d even gotten the chance to walk off, filled with hunger. “That shower isn’t very big, you know?”

My cheeks glow just a little. “I know.”

Just like that, her doubts seemed to wash away as she took me by the hand and led the way herself. We both knew where we were going, but I let her lead the way regardless. She liked to lead the way, and I liked to be led. It was funny to realize that about myself- I liked to be led.

I was leading in the game, but she was the one at the helm here.

“I don’t care who you are, free or not, you do not talk to me like that.” Candace dragged me back to my room by the wrist, and I quickly found myself willingly shoved forth into the bathroom for the first time. “If you’re going to be like this, you can kiss your chances of getting out of here goodbye, you got that?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” I heard sprung from my lips, flying by without a second of thought or hesitation.

Candace locked the door behind us, unsure of what sort of resistance she might expect as she cranked the shower faucet on high. “I’m not about to give up after one fucking game. You’re not a free woman unless you win.”

Now this was exactly the kind of reaction I was looking for.

“Careful, it’s hot.” Candace teased me as I was sent fleeing from the warm water. “Now get your ass in the shower before I have to throw you in myself.”

She didn’t even wait to give me the opportunity to listen. I felt her hand on my lower back, practically tossing me into the mostly unused shower. She’d left me nude all morning, so it didn’t take much preparation for me. Candace still had to undress, and I could bet my ass she was coming in after all of that.

She couldn’t see me, but I sank to my knees on the shower floor. Nice and hot, apparently just how Candace liked it. But she apparently liked seeing me on my knees even more.

“Careful.” I teased back. “I’m hot.”

“Don’t make me shove it up your mouth, slut. We’ll see how well you’ll play after you’ve been skullfucked into submission.”

“Just like you said, I’m your slave until I win.” My cheeks were red like cherries now, and it definitely wasn’t the temperature. “That’s fair game.”

That little piece of me I was keeping locked away couldn’t help but lean forward ever so slightly as Candace reached down to grab me by the hair. Her house. Her shower. Her slave. I kept my hands firmly planted on the ground for a little bit of control, it was slippery in here after all, but I let her lead the way from there.

She was ready for me by the time my mouth reached her. If it would appease that part of me, I would part my lips and let her slip her way in. Hopefully it was going to help to get these urges out now while I can, before I slip any further off the rails. Candace wasn’t too easy on me, however. That woman was determined to knock me off my game. Rough, hard, and painful- just like Candace liked it.

“Chloe.” She hissed, keeping me still as I turned to spit her semen down the drain. “Swallow.”

God, this girl was good.

One step at a time. I held my tongue, locked eyes with hers, and swallowed, making sure to let my mouth hang open to prove it.

“Good girl.” Her voice sounded like a purr. Hopefully meaning she’d recovered from her last loss. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Once we were finished, I settled back into my seat, still naked.

“I played the last round without clothes on, you can play this one before you get dressed.” I pouted, pretending like wearing or not wearing clothes did anything to sway the outcome of a game.

“I thought we just firmly established how not to fuck things up by trying to tell me what to do. If you want to wear something you can throw on some lingerie, before I kick your ass.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” I let slip again, a little too eager for my own good. “Feeling better at all?”

“Yeah.” She admitted, pretty honestly. “I think I’m starting to get what game we’re playing.”

A smile made its way onto my lips. “Glad I could help.”

“Good. It’s what you’re here for.”

Tied. One game each.

That little stunt of mine might have gotten Candace’s head back in the game, but it did kind of cost me the next round. Which was fine, it wasn’t like I played any worse than I ever had, it just stung a little.

Okay, it stung a lot. Rationally, I knew that the contest being competitive was better for the sake of the match, but I still wanted to win. After doing all that to reinvigorate my opponent, losing was like a kick in the face.

And the hole in my chest slowly grew wider.

“Hey.” Candace smiled from the doorway, opting not to tease or make fun of me for losing my first round. “How ya feeling?”

“I’m fine.” I lied, trying not to make eye contact with her as I stretched. “I let you have that round.”

“I’m sure you did.” She played along, shaking her head. “But until you win, you’re still my slave. Go make breakfast.”

“Don’t say that like you know I’m gonna win.” I mumbled, shambling my way over to her. It felt more prevalent now than ever, because I might not win after all. “What’s for breakfast, Ma’am?”

She helped me to the kitchen, leading the way again. “There’s pancakes, but you’ll have to make the batter yourself. Know how to do that?”

“Yeah.” I nodded, setting the ingredients out in front of me as I fumbled through the fridge and through the cabinets. “Mom taught me.”

“Mom?”

“My foster mom, Colleen.” A shiver ran down my spine as I said her name, remembering a strange detail from last night. “…Candace?”

“Yes?”

“Where’d you get that stuffed animal?”

“Is that really something you want to get yourself worried about in the middle of a match?”

“I’m already worried about it… Please?”

Candace relented. “Justin brought your mom with him. She apparently made me a stuffed cat, that’s all.”

“Oh.” I sighed, nodding my head. “Nothing happened to her, right?”

“Your mother is perfectly fine, Chloe. Don’t worry so much. It’s just a stuffed cat. She doesn’t know anything. She’s not in any sort of danger. If you want to worry about her, you can worry about her later.”

“Right.” I whispered, shriveling up slightly. “I’m sorry.”

“Listen, Chloe. If this is the last day I have you, I want it to be nice for the both of us. Hurry up and finish breakfast before I lose my appetite, please?”

“You don’t have to say please with me, you know. I’d prefer it if you didn’t give me an illusion of freedom if I don’t get to have the real thing.” Pancakes weren’t too hard after the first few times, and before long I was already finished with mixing and started with baking. “If this is the last day I’m going to get to serve you, I’m going to serve you well.”

That put a smile on her face. “You make it sound like you enjoy it.”

“Sometimes I do.” I could feel myself blushing. “Sometimes.”

Her smile didn’t last long, however. “But you’d prefer to go free?”

That was the answer my brain was coming to, yes. But I did have to stop and think about it. What did it even mean to be free? What was I going to do if I went free? The whole world thought I was dead, how was I even going to board a plane back home? Even if I was free, I’d have to rely on Candace to take me home- or even worse- I’d have to live in Florida.

And that was a thought that made me shudder. “Would you punish me if I said yes?”

“Only if you count the humiliation of losing this match a punishment.”

“Then yes.” I admitted. “I think I would prefer to go free.”

“And what would you do if I called it all off here and now?”

I paused, already knowing what I’d say to that. “I’d be heartbroken.”

There was one little part of me that hoped she would. One tiny sliver of my head and my heart that wished she would just stand up, tell me no, and put me to bed with a spanking and a mouth soaping. But that was the part of me I liked to keep locked in a cage in the back of my mind at all times. That part of me liked being locked in a cage.

Candace’s mind was locked in a cage of its own. I had clearly put her in a difficult position. She wanted to. She really wanted to. Candace wanted to call the whole thing off and whip me senseless, to quit while she was ahead. But she wouldn’t. She didn’t want to see me heartbroken.

“If I do win, will you really accept the results?” She frowned, trying not to look up at me. “You did try to stab me to death once upon a time. Will you really be satisfied with giving up, or am I taking this risk for nothing?”

That’s when it occurred to me that while I was worrying about whether she’d go through with releasing me, Candace was worrying about whether I’d finally accept my place.

“I guess we just have to trust each other.” The pancakes were finished, and I was turning off the stove to get ready to serve them. “One of us is going to lose, but at least we’re being friendly about it, right?”

Candace smiled, not bothering to answer that knowing what the look on her face was going to tell me. She simply slid her chair slightly, patting her knee for me. “Sit in my lap while we eat.”

We ate breakfast together. Together together. I handed over the reins and left the rest to her, keeping my hands in my lap as she fed me. It was nice, and if I never got to do it again, I’d miss it. But there were things I’ve been missing for a long time now.

And now I knew what was on the line. Colleen. My mother.

It was hard to tell if Candace played as well as she did in the last game, but one thing was for certain, I was going to have to fight for this if I wanted to go free. If I ever wanted to see my mother again, I needed to win this match. I needed to win this game- and I did.

I was in the lead again. 2 - 1. But the hole in my chest still grew wider.

My knees tucked tight to my chest, curling up atop my chair. I felt strangely empty inside for some reason. It was like there was a bottomless pit welling up within me, and that everything I was had started falling inside of it.

I want my mom. I thought- and for the first time ever I actually called Collen like she was as I thought it. My mother. I’d seen Candace, Claudia, and even Zenna all fail to see their mothers for what they were, and I didn’t want to make the same mistake. Something about Candace’s offer- to make me a part of her family- still spoke to me. But this family was not the one I wanted to be a part of.

Deep down I was relieved Candace had taken precautions in setting up my bedroom, because if my computer hadn’t quickly cut me off from trying to look for my family online, I’m sure the hole in my chest would have only deepened. No. I didn’t need to look at her from afar, I needed to talk to her directly. The only way this was getting fixed was if I could hear their voices again- the only two people I’d ever considered family- Colleen and Justin.

Justin… My heart swelled. He and I did not end on the right foot, I feared. What about Justin?

This was the old life I was fighting for. Her and him. She was the one I was scared the most for, but he was more in the way of danger, wasn’t he?

Knock knock. I paused, waiting for Candace to answer the door- or at the very least to signal that I was about to come inside. Swinging it open and stepping inside, I froze in the doorway. “Candace?”

The large monitor quickly flipped back to the game, but not before I got a chance to see what she had just been looking at on that elephant sized television screen.

“Were you watching me on the cameras?” I asked, irritated, annoyed. That was a feed of the bedroom, I could recognize the familiar sight in a flash. I hadn’t expected it to be free of cameras, but I didn’t think she was spying on me the whole time. “You’re cheating?”

Her ugly mismatched eyes fluttered to mine, blinking confusedly. Candace did not seem so fussed about losing that round like she had the first time, now she just seemed caught off guard. “What?”

“You’re cheating.” I pointed at the monitor in accusation. “You were watching me on the cameras, don’t try to hide it.”

“Okay. I will admit, I was watching you on the cameras.” Candace quietly confessed, pulling the live feed back up onto the screen. “But I wasn’t cheating.”

“Oh yeah?” My arms crossed at my chest in disbelief. “Then what were you doing?”

“I was just checking up on you, Chloe. You seemed a bit shaken up earlier. I was trying to make sure you were okay, that’s all.”

Now I felt a bit like a paranoid freak. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” She noted. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m winning.” I quickly let slip, once again without thought. “That’s all that matters.”

“I didn’t say you could leave.” Candace scolded me as I turned to walk away. “Get back here.”

She dragged me back in, the door closed behind me. I wasn’t sure when the last time I’d sat on the sofa had been- if ever- but that’s where she sat me down. Right in front of the monitor, looking down to avoid seeing what she was seeing.

“What’s the matter with you?” She hissed at me.

I ask myself that all the time. What’s the matter with me? But the better question now was whether or not it even mattered.

“I don’t have to do this for you, you know. If you’re gonna be a sore winner, I don’t see any reason for you to complain about me being a sore loser.” Candace was irked enough to pick up one foot and use it to shove my knee down when I tried to tuck it into my chest. “This was your fucking idea, not mine.”

The words came out limp and cracked. “Don’t yell at me.”

“Don’t yell at you?!” Candace yelled, completely ignoring my plea. “Do you have any idea what’s going to happen to you out there if you win?! You’re nothing without me, Chloe. You’re going to be shot out, potentially kidnapped again, and even killed. And you’re worried about being yelled at?!”

Her cries fell on deaf ears, unfortunately, because I wasn’t listening. I heard her words, but I didn’t listen to them. The only words I listened to were the ones whispering to me from the back of my own head, putting tears in the corners of my eyes.

“All I want is to keep you safe, Chloe. I’m only watching you because I’m worried.” Candace began to stammer at me. “I’m starting to think that you’re in more danger from yourself than anything.”

My heart sunk into the void, pulsing with pain. “I’m not a danger to myself.”

Candace crossed her arms. “Your manager didn’t seem to think so, did he?”

Blood curdled in my veins. “My manager?”

Justin. She’s talking about Justin.

“What about him?”

“I’m not even the first person to worry about your mental health, am I?”

“What did he say to you?”

Candace opened her mouth to speak, before quickly backing up. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Suddenly my heart was pounding, blood rushing through me like a river. I didn’t even need to ask what she meant before she was on her phone, scrolling through her contacts and dialing. Seemingly without care, she tossed it into my lap to see what I would do: Hold it up to my ear and listen as it called out.

Candace stood in front of and over me, not being so reckless as to leave me unsupervised, but the sound of a phone dialing out in my ear for the first time left me nervous and unsure of myself.

“…Candace?”

“If you don’t want to talk to him, you can hang up and hand me the phone.” She held her hand out, flat and open. “Or you can hold my hand if you’d like.”

I bit down on my lip as I took her hand, unsure of what was about to happen. And she squeezed my hand back as I did.

“Hello?” I heard asked from the other end. That sounded like him alright.

This was happening. This was actually happening. Candace just sprung it on me like an oncoming car, but it was actually happening. “Hey.”

The other voice went cold at the sound of my voice, letting a long silence speak for itself between us. “Sophia?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” I was talking to him alright. “Hey Justin.”

I wasn’t sure he was sure what to say, but he had to say something. “Haven’t heard from you in a while… How’ve you been?”

“Not great.”

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” I answered, about as honestly as I could while still holding Candace’s hand. “What about you? How’ve you been?”

“Not great.” He repeated back to me, and the two of us just went on echoing ourselves.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

There was a pause just then, as neither of us knew what to do. But I was getting the implication here, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

“It’s nice hearing from you again.” He mumbled, trying to break through a glacier’s worth of ice. “I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to.”

“Me neither.”

Justin was clearly breathing heavily as he spoke. “Are you safe?”

“Am I safe?” My eyes drifted up to Candace’s first and foremost, locking with her as we squeezed hands. She didn’t say anything, but she did clasp her other hand over mine, as if to comfort me. “Yeah. I think so.”

“That’s good.” He admitted. “I was worried.”

“What about?”

“You.”

I slowly lowered my gaze, almost ashamed of myself. “Hey, Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we be friends again?”

“Of course.” He answered without hesitation, which did wonders to help reassure me. “I’m sorry about everything-”

“No. I… I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry.” My hand squeezed reflexively at my next thought. “I’m in the middle of a match.”

“Oh.” He mustn’t have liked that idea either. “Should I let you go?”

“Yeah.” I paused for a moment. “Please don’t tell anyone about this.”

“I won’t.” He agreed. “I promise.”

“Thank you.”

“And hey-” He interrupted before handing up. “Please be safe.”

“I’ll do my best.”

The phone slotted back into Candace’s hand in place of mine, knowing better than to think I could get away with anything else. That was an experience for sure, one that I was still iffy on.

“Yeah.” My head nodded slightly, avoiding the sight of Candace as she sat down next to me. “That makes sense.”

Her fingers curled into my hair, tugging my head to her chest and my body into her lap. “I didn’t know-”

“Like hell you didn’t know.” My eyes shuttered closed with tears. “He was in on it the whole time.”

“And if I had known he was in on it, don’t you think I would have used it to torment you?” Candace asked, her lips pressed to my forehead. “He begged to keep it secret from me because he was worried I would.”

That opened my eyes just a little bit, willing to listen. “You really didn’t know?”

“I really didn’t know. Not until we talked this weekend.” She promised, still holding my naked body close to her. “You can ask him yourself once you’re free.”

The thought only widened the hole in my heart. “Okay…”

Things were going exactly like they had a year ago yesterday- Sophia, Candace, Sophia, Candace- except this time it was Chloe, Candace, Chloe, Candace. With the world falling apart around me, no, I did not win the next round.

And with the growing void inside of me came the very tangible realization that I might not be getting out of this after all. Something which sent things spilling out of me like a faucet.

“Ghhhck-” Unable to quite gag everything back, I quickly hunched over the trash been as I spewed chunks from my gut. “Pfffth.”

My hands spun back, nervously trying to clutch back my hair as it just kept going. A part of me hoped I’d spit my heart out, and the rest of me wanted to pull my orange locks out in chunks. Before I could, however, I quickly felt them being relieved by hers. Candace held my hair back for me as I hurled, waiting until I could talk before saying much anything to me.

We were four matches in. Someone could have won by now if one of us had the skill for an outright sweep, which I thought I did. But instead we were at least two matches away from a conclusion, and if we were really unlucky- three.

“Stay.” She commanded, as if I was a dog. But it was clearly for good reason. I took my hair from her and continued to hold it out of the way, watching as she delivered that little yellow dog bowl with my name on it, now full of water. Candace then grabbed me by my hair. “Drink.”

With a little bit of help from her I leaned down, calmed my body, and drank. She had an iron grip on the back of my head, one that I wasn’t about to fight her for.

“What happened to getting dressed?” She made it sound like it was relevant. “Weren’t you going to put something on?”

“What’s the point?” I spat, literally pouring out a mouthful of water into the bin to clean myself out. “I’m just a toy for you to fuck with, and you’re only doing this to torment me, aren’t you?”

“What makes you think that?” She hummed, not taking it too seriously.

“Because you’re not going to let me go.” I wiped my lips clean, my head still hung. “Isn’t that right?”

“This isn’t about letting you walk out of those doors, Chloe. This is about keeping you as my slave.” Candace finally released my hair, gesturing to the rest of my bedroom. “This is where you’re going to live because this is where you’re safest. If this is just some overblown witness protection, so be it.”

I shivered nervously, tilting my head up at her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean what I said. I’m not letting you go anywhere, Chloe. Win or lose, you stay here. But-” And she paused right there, not wanting it to be true, but she knew she didn’t have the heart to go back on it. “But if you win, you can have the collar off. You can be your own person, and if you really want to walk away from here, I’ll have no choice but to let you. Just like I’ll have no choice but to make you my enemy again. But if you stay here, even as my prisoner, I can still protect you.”

That sinking feeling in my chest only got worse from there. “That’s not good enough.”

“But it’s as good as I can give you.” And she hated that it was. “It’s not just about you and me, Chloe. It’s about everything. I have to choose between you or my family, and if I choose you, I give up my chances of ever being my father’s heiress.”

A twinge in my stomach sent me spiraling over the edge amidst the subsequent silence, again trying not to cover myself in puke as I stress vomited into the trash bin. She again was kind enough to protect my hair from just that for me, as well as getting me some more water to wash my mouth with.

“Are you going through with this?” I demanded. “Or aren’t you?”

“If I win, I get to keep you, but I give up the chance to take my father’s place. Maybe that’s for the best. Maybe the world would be better off with someone else at the helm. You might not go free, but the world would be free from me.” Candace thought it all over, and I could see where her hesitation would lie. “If I lose, I give you up, but I get to be one of the most powerful people in the world. You get to reunite with your mother. I get to free mine from her debt. It’s not like it’s a total loss, but it would hurt. And I guess that’s something that you have to decide. If you stay, maybe there’s a chance to make me a better person. But if you go, I don’t know what an underworld with me at the helm would look like. The only thing that’s certain is that you won’t be at my side to hold me back.”

“Then why don’t we just leave it up to the game?” I asked.

“That’s what I’m thinking.” Candace agreed. “Let’s leave it up to the game.”

My heart skipped upwards, putting tears in my eyes. “You mean that?”

“Yes. I mean that.” And she hated that she did. “We should probably stop for dinner first, at least while we’re still tied. Go and find something to make, I don’t care what, but make enough for us both. Alright?”

“And then?”

“And then we’ll keep playing.”

Dinner was pasta. It was always pasta with her. We ate together, as together as we could, not saying a word if we could avoid it. More than breakfast, this didn’t feel like the time to be playing around with one another. It felt like hell.

Candace clipped a leash to my collar once we were finished eating, not bothering to tell me what was going on as she led me outside, naked and shivering. The both of us needed a moment to clear our heads.

I took her arm in mine, keeping close as she led us just around the yard. It felt nice to be led, admittedly. That hadn’t changed.

She let me sit next to her in the sand as we landed on the beach, still together. It was a beautiful sight to behold, just not one that could last forever. The one thing I knew for certain was how much I wanted to dive into that deep blue ocean, and nothing was going to stop me from making that happen.

If we kept trading wins like this- like we had at the championship- I was going to win. There was no doubt in my mind that if all we did was play our best, I was going to win. Where the doubt clawed its way back into my mind was whether I actually wanted that to happen. Candace never got a seventh round with me at the championship. I won 4 - 2.

Our score currently sat at 3 - 2. And just like it had been during the championship, this last game was brutal. My win then was in large part thanks to leaving her in a dwindling mental state after five grueling rounds. Today was no different.

If I won the next round, it was over.

Last chance, Saint Clair. I whispered in my own head. It’s all up to you.

It didn’t matter the outcome, every single game left me weak and drained. Even after a win, I felt as revolting and volatile as I had ever been. It felt like I was falling.

Pull yourself back together. I urged my aching heart, biting back loud uncomfortable sobs. You’re almost there, don’t back away now. You can do this. Don’t let her take you down without a fight. Don’t let her off so easily. You’re better than her.

But I wasn’t, was I?

Who am I kidding? My heart fell further, letting the ache spread. All I ever do is destroy things. My own family. My foster mother’s heart. Justin’s sanity. Candace’s dreams. This entire family. Nobody’s going to want me after this. Not even her. Not if I break Candace like I break everything else.

That’s when the tears began to roll, as the cruel irony of my life slowly set in. They all thought I was dead, and things were better off that way. The world was better off without me in it. The only person in the world who could ever benefit from me being in it was me, and how cruel of me it was not to simply let myself vanish into thin air.

“Why are you like this?” I asked with a mouthful of tears and desperation. “Why can’t you see that you’re better off without me? Why do you love me when no one else does?”

My mind drifted to that sunset, and the ocean hidden beyond. If I ever heard her voice again, would Colleen even forgive me. All she has left of me is a memory of the last time she saw my face, an embittered ball of hatred who couldn’t even forgive herself for the ways she lived, who even after five years could only ever fight with the one person who would have her. A face that would be dead the next morning. She blames herself for my death. I know she does. If she ever saw this face again, all I could possibly see in her eyes was the deep rage of a woman who I let believe she’d killed me. I could never look her in the eyes again.

Even Justin, my only friend, saw that. He knew the world was better off without me. That’s why he did it. Because all I can do is destroy things. Hopes, hearts, minds, dreams. I destroyed everything I touched. Including the one good friendship I’d ever had.

There was nothing left for me out there.

“Chloe.” Her beautiful voice beamed through on the intercom, not daring to step foot anywhere near me. “Are you okay?”

No. No I wasn’t. But there was nothing that could fix that. Who cared if I was hunted to death once I was free, the world would be better off when the dust settled.

“I’ll be fine.” The sobs said, lying to us both. “Just start the next match.”

“You won that game.” Her voice was angry, or maybe it wasn’t, but what else could it be if not full of rage? All I could hear was fury, because that’s all I deserved. “Why are you crying?”

“Are you not fucking listening to me?!”

Thump. My fists slammed hard onto the top of my desk, causing everything it held to clatter slightly.

“I said I’ll be fine-” My lungs seethed, draining my whole body of breath. “Just start the fucking game and we can end this already!!”

I waited for a few moments, but there was no response.

Fuck. What did I do wrong? What do I do now? What’s going to happen? Is she really upset at me?

My plan wasn’t to make Candace upset, I was already upset with myself, I didn’t need any more than that. If she was upset, she was going to call off the match. And if she was going to call off the match, I was never getting out of here. Which means that Candace hates me all over again, and we were going to be right back to day one. Everything I touch crumbles to dust, and now I’m destroying the world around me, all because I’m worth less than nothing.

“Chloe.” Her voice beamed through again, saying my name. “Meet me in the parlor.”

This is it. I swallowed nervously, anticipating the absolute worst. She’s going to throw me back in my cell.

Every step brought with it a new, more desperate emotion. The hole in my chest only grew bigger and bigger, until I was face to face with her, sitting atop her throne.

“There’s a hairbrush on my bathroom sink, go get it.” She said through the silence, handing me a direct order to follow in the hopes that I could get a hold of myself. “Now.”

This wasn’t what I was expecting. This wasn’t what I wanted. But for some reason, I already had the hairbrush in hand before I could even question following her words.

“If you can’t help but curl up into a ball sobbing to yourself, something is clearly amiss with you. You should know not to punish yourself for your own behavior, that pleasure still belongs to me.”

Not liking where this was going, I pleaded. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no more room for sorry, Sophia Cavalier.” Her outstretched hand demanded the hairbrush, and my twitching fingers begged me to give it to her. “Now come here and put yourself over my knee.”

She wasn’t violent, but she was commanding. The hairbrush ripped free from my hand the same moment my ear fell into her grasp, pulling me into her without a moment of hesitation. By the time I was over her lap, my face was already hidden behind my hands, trying not to cry before it even started. And she wouldn’t even let me have that.

Candace didn’t feel the need to say anything, but the feeling of her fingers lightly pinching my earlobe was enough to loosen me up, my hands torn away to let her see my face as she allowed the backside of the brush to hover over my bare ass. We locked eyes for just a moment, until I was stable enough to lower my gaze. My head lowered with it, shoved down by her hand as she continued to pinch my ear. My thoughts were shattered in my head before I could even finish thinking them, before she could even have the chance to swat me, I knew better than to raise my head- letting my body raise ever so slightly to meet the brush instead.

Candace spanked me. It wasn’t the first time she’d spanked me, but it very well could have been the last. At least that’s what the scared little piece of me locked away in that cage was terrified of. That I’d never feel anything like this again.

I felt her gently petting my hair as she held my head down, she wasn't trying to suffocate me by burying my face in the blankets, she was just trying to exert her dominance over me, and I let her. I wanted that, Candace was my world, and even though it was painful, being over her knee like I was brought me great joy. It brought me closer to her.

It made me happy. If only for tonight, it made me happy.

She knew who I was. She wasn’t shocked by my sobs, and she wasn’t about to let them stop her. All she needed to provide me was that light pressure against my lobe telling me that everything was okay.

And suddenly everything was okay.

“I’m not going to cancel the match.” She asserted, staring me straight on as I knelt in her lap. “If you want to go free, keep fighting and win. But if you don’t, don’t.”

The tears wiped free from my face, already red with shame by the time it was all over. “I can’t give up. Not now. Not while I’m so close.”

“Then fight.” I was commanded, her eyes determined to do what was right. “I won’t be deprived of my chance to earn your submission. Not after the tournament.”

My heart stopped, petrified by the thought of losing after coming all this way. The skin of my ass stung as I sat down, wincing to the touch. It was a strange warmth that I hadn’t felt in quite some time, accompanied by an odd sense of security inside as I turned to keep playing.

Everything inside of me screamed for me to win, but I didn’t want it to happen like this. Not like it had during the tournament. Humiliating her again felt wrong. Candace deserved a seventh match, and she was going to be getting one.

But this game was different. Sitting at the screen and staring at the tied score, something felt different. I wasn’t so torn up about losing that match because I knew deep down, hidden in my subconscious, something had betrayed me. I lost it at that. That some part of myself wasn’t working anymore. That some part of myself was letting it slip into the void.

The only way I could lose this match now was if I threw it all away, and the thought of that broke me.

My eyes locked down, watching my mouse tremble in my hands. These parts of me don’t shake. These parts of me were my only hope, they couldn’t stop working now. My mind wanted one thing, but my heart- still burying deep inside of that hole- wanted another. These parts of me- these hands of mine- were betraying me.

“This can’t be happening.” My mouth mumbled, scared of nothing, least of not Candace hearing what I had to say. “I can’t be on equal grounds with you. I’m better than you. I’m better than this. I can’t lose. Not to you. Not to anyone. I can’t lose…”

Those fingers gripped tight around that mouse, about to shatter it in my hands. It made me so impossibly angry to think that now that it was down to the wire, the only piece of me that I knew I could always count on had finally begun to shake. That anger sprung me to my fight, rising higher, until the only way left for me to go was down.

Before I could make that last mistake, to plunge into that darkness, I caught myself. My mouse was fortunate enough not to shatter into pieces as it thudded to the floor, which almost certainly would have spelled doom.

No. My body thumped to the floor, on my knees, trying to make sure it was okay. And it was. It was okay, but it almost wasn’t.

“And yet here we are.” Candace’s voice came from behind, towering over me as I sat in a panic on the floor, having tunneled her presence out of my vision. “What happened to finishing this?”

“It’s not over…” I mumbled, clutching the mouse to my chest as I plugged it back into the USB port. “I can still win this.”

“Then why didn’t you win it last game?” She asked, voice almost seething with anger. “Why’d you throw that round?”

“I didn’t.” My voice hissed, and I swiveled around to face her, ready to take on her bitter selfish rage with my own-

But there was no real rage to speak of in those soft caring eyes once I saw them, frowning down at me to my face. Candace had a pair of stuffed animals in her arms, clutched to her chest like I held my mouse, a cat and a dog. One said Candace. The other said Sophia.

When it really should have said Chloe.

“I thought you might need a friend.” She smiled, holding Poppy towards me to take. “Pansy certainly helps me.”

“Pansy?” My eyes drifted to the stuffed cat’s, anger slowly beginning to subside. “That’s such a pretty name.”

“I only pick the prettiest of names, Chloe.” Candace sat herself on the futon next to me, letting me settle in at her side. “And I only pick the prettiest of flowers.”

Hearing those words in her voice had my cheeks flushing pink. She meant me when she said that. I was the prettiest of flowers.

“You know I can’t win this, Chloe. But until this match is over, we’re still master and slave.” Candace spoke like she was already congratulating me. “I’m going to give you one last order, and you’re going to have to choose whether to follow it.”

Butterflies fluttered in my chest, dazzled at the thought of this being the last order Candace may ever give me. One last command, that deep down, I knew I wanted to let lead me to the end of the world. An instruction that my heart was begging me to follow.

“Forfeit.”

As soon as it reached me, it felt obvious. Of course Candace would tell me to forfeit. Because she knew from the very beginning that the only way for her to win was for me to give up.

“If you want a reason to live, I can give you one.” She promised, and I took that idea to heart. “Do as I say, and let that be your purpose.”

Light flickered in her eyes as I sought deep into them, watching her rise to her feet without another word. She made it my choice. Winning this match meant disobeying her final order.

She meant it. After all of that, she meant it. The door didn’t click closed behind her, because she didn’t close it. An open door, my chance at freedom. Candace was handing it to me now.

And hung from the handle of that open door, one half of a heart I’d made her, one half of a collar we shared.

One final rematch. After everything we’d been through, it was up to me whether winning now was worth this last act of defiance.

And I think she knew which one I was going to pick.

Clicking my mouse one more time, the last it ever would. The game began.

My half of the locket, red like the prettiest of roses, cut sharply through the cord of my mouse like it was nothing. Less than nothing. After all, I was nothing without her. At the end of the day, even if it meant my freedom, no part of me was going to cheat my way out of this. Not if I had to disobey her.

Severed from any seat of power, all I could do now was watch myself lose to her. Forfeiting my victory in favor of seeing her name on the screen. Letting the game tell me what was to happen.

CStC 4 - 3 SoCavalier

Winner

CStC

And at long last, it was finally over.

“Forfeit.” My mouse hung from my hand, holding it by a cut cord as I showed it to her. “I forfeit.”

Candace wore a smile on her face as she closed my door behind her, cutting off my only chance at leaving. “Good girl.”

Helplessly, I crawled onto the futon, fleeing from my PC as she approached. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. But from the very beginning, a part of me knew it was going to happen.

“You made the right choice, Chloe.” She assured me, climbing in next to me on the now outstretched bed. “I promise not to take this submission for granted ever again. You chose to stay. I’m going to make sure it was the right choice.”

My cheeks were red with humiliation, trying not to show itself too fiercely as I looked into her eyes with a hungry desperation for her support. “You were never worried I was going to win, were you?”

“No.” She admitted with a shake of the head, denying it outright. “You weren’t going to let yourself win. You didn’t want to.”

Candace was right. Why else would my hands betray me if not in the hopes that she’d win?

“The moment you threw a match, there was no doubt. You were waiting for me to take control.” Candace gently began clasping my half of our locket around my neck. “That was the game we were playing.”

“I’m glad you could tell.” I felt slip from my tongue. “Because I couldn’t.”

“It’s alright. You belong to me, now and forever. I’m here to help lead you.” Candace sighed, brushing my hair out of the way so that she could admire me. “And since you’re still here, you have plenty of orders to follow until we reach your last.”

The sound of that did help sweeten my disappointment. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“But as much as it pains me to make this my next order, that was your last match.”

My heart sank once more. “But why?”

“Because you can’t handle it anymore.” She asserted. “It’s the game that’s the problem. At least in part, I think it’s traumatic for you.” Candace didn’t want to admit it, but she was only trying to make the right decision when she said this. “Game after game, every round only hurts more. It makes it harder for you. It’s like it’s own kind of self harm.”

“Or sabotage…” I added, relenting to her authority on this. “But it’s all that I have.”

“Not anymore it’s not.” Candace denied me. “It’s already served its purpose by bringing you to me. You have a new purpose now.”

Biting down on my lip, I nodded my head. “Which is?”

“Help me.” Candace smiled, gently pinching one of my ears. “In any way that you can, I want you to help me be a better person, for your sake and mine.”

My belly fluttered. “You really think I can do that?”

“You’re the only one who can do that.” She assured me. “I’m not giving you a choice.”

For once, I didn’t mind bowing my submission to that. “I promise I’ll do my best.”

Candace climbed into my new bed next to me, letting me curl up into her arms and sob. It wasn’t the outcome I probably deserved, but it was the one I needed. I needed this, to be with her. I needed Candace to keep me, because she was the one person who needed me the most.

“I’m going to sit down and develop a set of rules for you to follow from here on out. Once I’m finished, you’re going to consent to those rules, and you’re going to sign a contract forfeiting yourself to me.” Candace held me in those strong arms of hers, speaking softly as she tried to explain how things were going to work from now on. “I think your gamer brain will be better off with rules you know to follow.”

Already too tired to verbalize my agreement, I simply tucked my head to her chest and closed my eyes. The act of losing my freedom once and for all was simply that draining.

“I hope you like your new room, Chloe.” Candace leaned in, kissing me on the forehead. “Would you like me to let you be?”

I thought for a moment, then shook my head. Candace must have taken that to mean that I wanted her to help ease me to bed. If I wasn’t so mentally and emotionally exhausted, I might have objected, but the biggest part of my brain loved having her here with me.

And soon enough I had fallen asleep in her arms.

✶ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✶ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✶

It was dark by the time I did wake back up, and Candace had in fact fled to her own room after I was out. That, or she was playing video games. But either way, for the first time ever I was left alone with access to the mansion. And it did sting a little bit to be without her.

She was in the entertainment room as I snuck out into the rest of the house. I at first found it odd to hear the game still playing, but I quickly noticed they were there for good reason. Candace was streaming again.

“It has been a while since I’ve streamed, I know.”

Candace always had a bright eager smile for the camera. But her faux happy attitude was especially pronounced when she was live streaming. The still famous esports starlet that her fans grew to love had taken a year off from competition- and for good reason. Nearly every shady thing that the heiress had gotten up to in the last eighteen months could be tied to her newest obsession. Me. Bright smiles were Candace’s way of hiding her hidden nature; that of an affluent, self-absorbed, classist predator with an unhealthy habit of abusing others for her own gratification.

Obviously I could never say any of that to her face. I was after all, one said person she liked to abuse for personal pleasure. Sophia Cavalier- Candace Saint Clair’s current obsession. There would be no camera time for me. You can’t edit out your crimes live on the internet…

…At least not without considerable difficulties.

“How am I feeling after hosting the championship?” Candace was reading questions from her chat live on stream. “I’m feeling great, honestly. I know last year was scary for everyone- and I don’t mean to sound like a drama queen when I say this- but I don’t think people realize that Sophia’s disappearance hit me especially hard.”

Something you begin to notice when you really get to know Candace is just how good she is at playing a character. Now I’m not saying she should have become an actress, but even when the things she’s saying are outright lies she always presents them in a way that- if nothing else- makes it seem like she believes the words coming out of her mouth. It doesn’t stop there either. Candace does it with the face and the voice of a pretty little sweetheart whom you can’t help but feel bad for when the honestly more than warranted finger of blame gets pointed at her. With a presence like hers, Candace could get away with human trafficking if she wanted to. (And she has.) But you’d never be able to convict her in a court of law thanks to that charisma of hers.

And even if that fails her, she always has Daddy’s money to fall back on.

“It’s too early to say if I’m actually going to compete this year. Obviously I didn’t give up playing the game entirely, I’m sure some of you saw me at some of the smaller tournaments last season. But it’s been over a year since I competed at anything that spanned longer than a day or so. And we all know how that went.”

Another thing I’ve noticed is that Candace likes to stray away from saying outright lies. When she talks about how hard my disappearance hit her, she’s carefully selected her words. It’s better for her brand if the public thinks of her former rival in terms of a missing person rather than a mysterious death yet to be solved.

The less reporters and authorities investigating her, the better.

So Candace goes on, getting back in front of the camera like nothing happened at all. And as long as she convinces her fans that she’s just as much a victim as anyone else, she gets away with it.

“Why did I take last year off?”

Candace was well aware of how curious the fans could get, especially the ones wanting a glimpse into her personal life. I knew as well as she did back when I stopped streaming. They couldn’t just be happy watching her kick ass at the game, they felt the need to actually interact with their idols.

She was just better at it. “I’m not going to say that’s a dumb question, because I love you guys. But come on. Sophia’s been missing since May.” Candace didn’t even need to look up from the game to answer. “It’s not a coincidence that it coincided with me suddenly dropping out of the professional season. I just think the most passionate of fans misconstrue that sometimes.”

Online Stolen Cosmos. Not really a game you can pause consistently.

“Like this guy here- Don’t you think it’s weird that she disappeared right before you stopped streaming? ” Candace had to scroll back through the chat to find the comment she was referring to after the match was over. “No. I don’t think it’s weird. I’m sorry for keeping you guys in the dark about why I stopped streaming so suddenly. It just happened really abruptly, and I couldn’t find the words to say anything about it. I wasn’t planning on taking the rest of the season off, I was planning on coming back within a couple weeks and addressing it then. But it’s because of people like this trying to somehow accuse me of being a part of it that I didn’t feel comfortable returning.”

Even Candace wasn’t sure if her tears were fake, but if it was compelling enough for her audience, it was compelling enough for her. I’m sure if I had seen it- I would have fallen for it too.

“If you want me to get real. I’ll get real. The reason I took the rest of the season off wasn’t just because she disappeared. It was because of all the hate I was getting for it. It was really disheartening to find out that a really good friend of mine had gone missing. I knew her better than most people did- but even though I was mourning harder because of it- I got way too much hate to handle. She goes missing on Cinco de Mayo, and a week later I’m the community’s least favorite person. I stopped competing because people started weaponizing my friend against me.”

I almost felt bad for the Candace Saint Clair character she was portraying. Some of what Candace was saying would be fair and valid points to make, but from where I stood they were all made invalid by the fact that it really all had been her fault.

She deserved the hate she’d been getting.

“Anyways. I know a lot of you guys are somewhere on the west coast- I’ll be making some stops in San Francisco, Portland, and Seattle again sometime soon. But where I’m at it’s already four in the morning and I need at least a few hours of sleep, so I’m gonna call it here. Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to me just ramble my heart out to you guys. Hopefully we can do this again soon.”

While I’d begun suffering from exposure to the game, Candace seemed to get just the boost she needed to show her face again this evening. If I wanted to, I could have busted through the door and shown myself on stream, but I had a new purpose in life. Three hours was excruciating little beauty sleep for a girl like her, but Candace had places to be this morning.

And I had a responsibility to make her a better person.

I snuck past her and to the laundry room. It was the same as we’d left it, clothes on the floor and all. Last time I’d spent any considerable amount of time locked in here, I’d almost been forced to pick my way out with sewing needles.

The most I’d ever had to use them were to pick locks, like I’d done back when I was on the streets. But Candace must have been too caught up to hear me sneaking them back to my room with me. You never know when you’ll need them, after all.

Softly shutting my bedroom door and heading inside, I opened up the sewing kit and started threading one of the needles. If I was to fix that mess of a person, I’d need to start using what my mother taught me.

It made me proud to think that after all this time, I still knew how to use a needle- and even more impressively- I could read my work once it was all over.

“Chloe.”

Thankfully, Poppy was a stuffed dog, she didn't mind me sewing my name into her other ear.

My voice came with a hum, hugging her to my chest late in the night and curling up under the blankets. “Perfect.”

Poppy didn’t just belong to Sophia anymore.

She belonged to Chloe.