The second try was no more successful.

Nor was the third.

Nor after that.

Going down headfirst didn’t reverse the effects. What it did do was get her a warning from Mrs. Jay. “Good boys and girls go down feet first. Do it again and you’ll get timeout.” she’d said. Like a good girl, Melody continued to go down the slide feet first.

It wasn’t until what might have been her eleventeenth trip that Melody remembered what she’d been doing and why she was doing it. She was running out of time! The slide wasn’t working! She wasn’t getting any biggerer!

She was going more and more backwards, just like Bea. Where’d Bea gotten to anyways? From her spot in the deepest part of the ballpit, a little lightbulb lit above her head.

Backwards!

That was it! If going down the slide had put her in this playground, going up was the way out of it. She’d slid down to belonging in the Kiddie Korral; she was going to have to climb herself back to grown-upness. With a gleeful, manic smile, Melody hoisted herself back onto the slide and started shimming herself back up the plastic tube.

“Melody! Careful!” Mrs. Jay called out. “Don’t-!”

“I’M GONNA TAKE MY HORSE TO THE OLD TOWN ROAD! I’M GONNA RIIIIDE TIL I CAN’T NO MORE!” Melody scream-sang. Her voice was amplified by the tube. If she couldn’t hear what a grown-up was telling her to do, she didn’t have to listen, or so her reasoning went. “I’M GONNA TAKE MY HORSE TO THE OLD TOWN ROAD! I’M GONNA RIIIIDE TIL I CAN’T NO MORE!”

Melody was going to be a grown-up again! She’d shimmy up to the top of the slide, her panties would go back to normal, and then she’d get kicked out of the playground like a normal person her age. Even if her panties were soaked with pee-pee, such would be the price for her freedom. She couldn’t wait to give Dean Garfield the finger, (even though she couldn’t remember what that meant at the moment)!

A pair of sneakers and a squealing “WHEEEEE!” dashed those hopes. Melody was sent hurtling backwards, as another big baby slammed into her, sending her plummeting back down and into the ballpit.

Oh yeah...she had no ability to make other kids stop going down the slide. That was the big problem, wasn’t it? The crinkly Luvs in her face was the other problem. A pinch and a push, got the dumb girl off of her, but it gave her no pleasure when she saw the face attached to it.

“Hi, Mel-Mel!” Bea giggled when both of their heads were above the balls. “Was that you pinchin’ me? Why were you goin up the slide? Slides aren’t for going up.”

“MELODY! BEATRICE!” Mrs. Jay’s voice rang out. “Are you two okay?”

“Yeah! We’re okay!” Bea shouted back. “Are you okay, Mrs. Jay?” Dumb baby was missing the point!

“BEA! GET OVER HERE!” Mrs. Jay boomed. “MELODY! YOU T-”

“I GOT THE HORSES IN THE BACK! HORSE TACK IS ATTACHED!” Melody clapped her hands over her ears for good measure. She couldn’t obey if she didn’t hear the commands.

Melody’s rebellion only lasted only as long as it took for another baby to slam into her. “Darn it Emma!” The girl in the pink dress only giggled as if she were still playing peekaboo in the play tunnel. Melody hadn’t even broken line of sight from Mrs. Jay when her classmate had careened into her.

Classmate...what a weird term. It’s not like daycare was really a school...Melody and her friends were too little to go to sch-

The sight of a discolored Mickey Mouse grinning at her from Emma’s Huggies snapped Melody out of it. Sinking in the ballpit with the girl planted right on her chest, Melody sniffed. “Ugh! Gross!” Melody had to bite back the desire to vomit.

At least Bea’s diaper smelled like baby powder. This one? Not so much. And not all of that warmth was just pee-pee, Melody realized. This girl whom Melody remembered yet had never met before today was now sitting on her chest in an absolutely vile Huggies and was giggling like a dope.

“Get OFF!” Melody screamed. Emma did, but she did so by swimming forward, directly over Melody’s face. If not for gravity’s pull on the back of Mel’s head and the diaper’s thick construction, Emma’s messy backside would have directly scraped over Melody’s nostril. Due to some quick struggling Mel-Mel was given just a quick (but disgusting) flyover.

Mrs. Jay had had enough. “Melody!” she bellowed. “You get out of that ball pit right now! It’s timeout for you!”

Melody sighed as her body started responding to the grown-up’s commands without her approval. “Yes ma’am.” Slowly, like wading through quicksand, Melody waded back up through the balls. Dragging her feet like the naughty child she felt like, Melody trudged to her inevitable doom. She didn’t notice the slight rumbling in the stomach, or the pressure building below her waist.

Her feet stopped moving. Her knees bent and she sunk back into the balls, with her chin just above the surface “Melody!” Mrs. Jay growled. “Quit stalling. You’re in trouble. No hiding!”

“I’m nnnn...not.” Melody wasn’t sure why it was getting harder to talk. It’s like her lungs and her diaphragm were rebelling against her, her stomach muscles pushing...pushing….something! Her legs kept bending up to her tummy and the balls were displacing just enough of Melody’s weight that she was almost floating.

Pressure! She could feel it now. Something needed to get out of her. And there was just enough grown-up left in Melody to know what that was and how it was going to go down. And there was just enough baby in her to be distracted and actively try to make it happen

“Melody, you get up here right this instant!”

“C-c-c-nnnnn..can’t!” Melody grunted. Her body wasn’t moving. It had more important, more immediate needs than listening to grown-ups just then. That’s why babies wore diapers: not because they didn’t listen to their bodies, but because their bodies hadn’t learned to listen to anybody. Mrs. Jay and the other grown-ups could control a lot of things about Melody. What nobody could control was her butt.

“Don’t-think-don’t-think-don’t-think-don’t-think” Melody whispered to herself. “You’re not pooping your pants...you’re not pooping in front of anybody...you’re just...nnnnnng...just….”

Bea must’ve recognized that look on Melody’s face. The blank stare, the intense concentration. The flushed cheeks. “SHE’S POOPING!” Bea yelled. “TEACHER! TEACHER! MEL-MEL’S POOPIN’! SHE’S NOT BEING NAUGHTY! NOT ON PURPOSE! SHE’S POOPIN’! MEL-MEL’S POOPIN’!”

No chorus of laughter or gasps came from the assembled crowd. And why would they? Everyone on this giant playground was used to pooping and peeing themselves on the regular, or changed the ones who did. This was hardly shocking by this universe’s standards.

Mrs. Jay’s tone softened, but only just a bit. “Melody,” she called out. “As soon as you’re done pooping, you get your little fanny right over here!”

“Yes…nnnnng” Melody paused. She was crowning. “Yes Ma’am.” The pressure was building. She was on the verge. Breathe. Just breathe.

The relief, the hot mushy relief as the log dropped into her nappy was palpable. Melody felt herself shudder with delight. It was it was...she didn’t have the words for it as the mess hit the back of her diaper and started to spread. No wonder Bea didn’t wanna get changed so quick. It was like a mud bath in her pants. And with every push she lost something, but gained something, too.

And she wouldn’t have to wipe, neither! Somebody else would do that for her later! When grown-ups went to their dumb ol’ potty, they had to pretend that nothin’ happened. They didn’t talk about it or nothin’. They’d stop what they were doin’, go to the potty room and then come back out. So much time wasted!

Not Melody, though. If she hadn’t been naughty, she could’ve just kept playing! She didn’t have to say ‘excuse me’ or ‘I have to go’. She just had to do what came naturally and everybody would love her for it. No worries! What went on in her Pampers was somebody else’s problem; not hers.

As she caught her breath and finished emptying herself, the strange feeling of euphoria evaporated from Melody. Her body was still not under her control, but it was now moving out of the ball pit. With every step she felt the lump in her pants sagging down, drooping more than before and with more solid weight. This was a true walk of shame. A little girl in poopy pants being dragged out of the ball pit for being naughty.

“Sit down,” Mrs. Jay ordered.

Melody couldn’t hesitate. Once on the main flatform, her knees buckled, and she plopped down; her backside cushioned by her own fetid mess. She knew her stomach was empty- she had all the evidence she needed beneath her, but Melody seriously wanted to vomit.

“But I-...” She tried to interject.

“Quiet,” the head grown-up interrupted. “You’re in time out.”

So Melody was quiet. Left only to her thoughts, and stuck stewing in her disposable former-panties.

As to Melody’s thoughts, they were a swirl of confusion and desperation. So many questions: How did she escape? How did she get back home? What if she couldn’t? Would she still have Mom and Steve to take care of her or would her parents no longer be divorced? Would she have to sleep in a crib or would she get a big girl toddler bed? Would she get her big girl panties back in a year or two? Then would it be her job to change other big baby diapers? Why was everybody on the playground the same age? Was there a class of freshmen babies? Or a class of middle schooler babies? How did THAT work? Why was she so oddly comfortable sitting in her own poopy? How did one “use the potty”?

Melody bit her own tongue in retaliation for THAT particularly intrusive thought. She knew how to use the potty! Right? Right! Didn’t she? Mentally, she went over the steps. Sit down? Flush? She was supposed to take her diaper off first though? Or was that after the flush? The grown-up part of her brain reeled. She wasn’t just diaper dependent...she was almost completely un-potty trained!

It wasn’t as bad, she realized, as if she were a real baby...like a six month old or something. She KNEW what the potty looked like, what it was for, and that it was hypothetically an option. And Mel-Mel was positive that if someone outlined the steps for her, she could nod her head along and make sense of it. But just like (poorly) cramming for a multiple choice test, she couldn’t dredge up the knowledge herself. By her own reckoning, that put Melody on par with maybe the average eighteen-month-to-two-year-old.

Pulling at her own pigtails while her mess cooled beneath her. Melody looked up to the sky and then out to the park, proper. If she squinted, she could just see past the playground barrier. The shine of a bald head and the telltale garbled squawk of an outdated walkie talkie caused Melody to go pale.

“Rower roaster aw near!” That was messed up static for “Roller coaster all clear.”

Melody heard Dean Garfield’s voice call back. “Beer garden and playground all clear.”

“I’M HERE!” Melody wanted to call out. “HELP ME! HELP ME! I’M HERE!” If she could have, she would have stood up and shouted to the high heavens for all to witness. In the moment, Mel-Mel didn’t care about being in a poopy diaper or how embarrassing it would be to be caught in one by someone she actually knew from real life. She didn’t care that she’d get in trouble. Even detention or suspension would have been preferable to this. Mel-Mel couldn’t call out, however. Mrs. Jay told her to sit down and be quiet. And like it or not, Mel-Mel was going to be a good baby girl.

It was only after Dean Garfield had passed that the thought occurred to her: “What is Dean Garfield doing here?” There were no highschoolers since she went down the slide, just highschool aged babies…

And yet here he was, still looking for runaway teens. Mel-Mel looked down at her hands and arms. Still fit and trim; no pudgy baby fat. Same breasts beneath the bib of her overalls. (She ignored the turtle with a pink bow that had suddenly been embroidered on.) Pulling at her pigtails, her hair was just as long as it had always been. Yet, with the Dean here, what did that mean? Were thirty somethings the new highschool seniors on this side of the slide?

Or maybe...just maybe...no one out of diapers saw the giant toddlers like herself as quite so big.

“Okay, Melody,” Mrs. Jay snapped Mel-Mel out of her trance. “Time to get up.”

Mel-Mel shook her head. “Huh?” Her legs gathered up beneath her and stood up before she consciously ordered them to. Darn it! She felt her diaper cling to her backside for a good three seconds before the weight of her mess outmatched the stickiness, causing the bulky thing to droop back down to the bottom of her shortalls. Oh, her poor panties!

The oldest and most grown-up of the grown-ups cupped her hands together and shouted, “OKAY FOLKS! ROUND THEM UP! IT’S SHOW TIME!” Like cattle, the diapered teens started getting rounded up by the not-quite twenty-somethings with the daycare shirts.

Bouncy houses were emptied and ball pits were cleared. Play areas were evacuated, all while people only a year or two older than Mel-Mel ushered them near the entrance. Meanwhile the older women gathered up diaper bags and lunch coolers, picked up bits of litter and scanned the perimeter for any “little one” that might’ve slipped through the cracks unobserved.

Bea hurried over and picked up a piece of paper that had blown onto the playground, flashing her Luvs to everyone looking over. For some reason, it didn’t seem as profane or indecent as when Beatrice had been wearing panties. (When had) Maybe it was because diapers weren’t really underwear, even if they did get covered up. She gave the crumpled up piece to one of the adults, who gave her a pat on the she trotted over to a line of padded strangers.

In groups of ten they were being separated. Ropes were being handed out by the grown-ups: Long blue chords with colorful rings attached to them. Every toddler grabbed their own colorful ring and stood in front of the next person to grab theirs. A walking rope...something that even kindergarteners might feel is too babyish...and Beatrice looked like she’d just won a prize by grabbing onto one.

Even though each step caused the lump in the back of her pants to bounce and slosh up against her, Melody made off to join the group. Babyish or not, she WOULD get the ring next to Beatrice. She WOULD get to her best friend.

“Hold on a moment, Melody.” Melody stopped at the command. “SARAH!” Mrs. Jay called out. “DIG THROUGH THE DIAPER BAG! MELODY NEEDS TO BE CHANGED!”

Melody’s face was on fire. She’d been called out! She needed a new diaper and literally everybody in the entire world knew about it! THEY KNEW!

Miss April trotted up, a not-so-little boy in tow. “Um...Eddie needs it too. And can we take them to the restroom to change them? It might be good for Annie’s potty training.”

Mrs. Jay waved it off. “Odds are ten to one that Annie’s got a lump in her pants, too. But sure. Meet us at the amphitheatre.”

“Yes ma’am!” Miss April Chirped. “Thank you!” She reached her hand out to Melody. “Come on, Melody! Let’ go get your diaper changed.” Melody’s hand shot out, taking the other girl’s hand. There was nothing now to do but go along and get changed. It was out of her control.

Miss April led Melody to the front of the playground, where Miss Sarah already waited; two diapers and a pull-up and a pack of wipes in one hand; Annie’s wrist in the other. Annie was in all pink: Pink Shirt. Pink Shorts. Pink Shoes. And yes, the waistband of a pink pull-up peeking out the back.

“I’m a big girl!” Annie shouted gleefully.

“Of course you are,” Miss Sarah cooed. “Now let’s go to the potty and get changed with our little friends!”

Annie let out a ‘yaaaaay!’ Eddie sucked on his thumb. And Melody’s body walked out with them even as her mind reeled. They didn’t even have the diaper bag with them! Three diapers and three giant toddlers! Everyone in the park would know! It didn’t help that Eddie was one of the pantsless wonders and his sagging diaper was obvious to any and all who knew what they were looking at.

Looking back over her shoulder, Melody tried to see Beatrice. Her sidekick, such as she was, was fitting in quite well. Her line of walk rope carrying toddlers started to meander behind them, going to some stupid baby show in the ampitheater. For a moment the two made eye contact and Bea gave her an enthusiastic wave goodbye.

“Bye Bea,” Melody whispered to herself. Deep down, she knew that her friend was long gone. The real question was when would Melody be joining her? A step later, Melody craned her neck up and looked up to the entrance of the playground.

The entrance had been altered too! In place of the plain old alphabet labeling this the “Kiddie Korral” were brand new scribbles. Scribbles that Mel-Mel couldn’t decipher in the least! It was all gibberish to her! How was she supposed to tell if it was an “A” without an Apple or an Alligator? Or a B without a Ball right next to it?

It took far too many steps for Mel-Mel to realize that she couldn’t read. The letters hadn’t changed...just Mel-Mel’s comprehension of them. It was just as many step for her to realize that she was starting to think of herself as ‘Mel-Mel’.

Walking and freaking out in her own head, Melody vaguely heard Miss April and Miss Sarah talk to each other as they weaved through the crowds to the nearest restroom; talking about who would change whom or how one would change the so-called kids while the other made sure those not getting wiped down didn’t run away and who would stay with Annie while she tried to sit on the potty and so on and so forth. “Oh, this one doesn’t have a changing station,” Miss April said. Their route altered as they followed the signs that Melody could no longer read.

Coming out of her own head, Melody looked around the crowd...and wished she hadn’t. A baby, a real one, wheeled by in a stroller. That was unnerving, but if people in this world didn’t get potty trained till they were nineteen or twenty it made sense that everyone younger would still be a ba-....

Melody didn’t even have the luxury of finishing that rationalization. On her right a group of elementary schoolers paraded by, chattering and nattering with each other. She still couldn’t read, but she’d seen their class t-shirts before. No one in Mrs. Wilkerson’s Toucans needed their hands held or to walk with a rope. No onesies, no pigtails, no rompers, no crotch snaps. As far as Melody could tell none of them wore diapers either. Unlike the 18 year olds at the Kiddie Korral, these ten year olds were acting their age. But then...what did that mean for her?

“Miss Sarah,” Melody called over to the babysitter, somehow instinctually knowing that she’d be more likely to humor Melody’s question. “How old am I?”

“Oh Melody,” Miss Sarah let out a small giggle. “Don’t you remember? You’re...‘Eighteen’.” There was something wrong about the way Miss Sarah said the number. It sounded hollow; disconnected; kind of like the robot call messages when you got a wrong number.

Melody gulped. “Could you say that again, ma’am?”

Miss Sarah turned her head and looked straight at Mel-Mel this time. “I said you’re…’Eighteen’...silly girl.”

Her heartbeat started to ring in Melody’s ears. She’d paid close attention to the babysitter’s lips and what came out was like a bad anime dub. Miss Sarah’s voice had said ‘eighteen’, but her mouth had said something that didn’t match. Melody couldn’t lip read very well, but she could tell that there was only one syllable in what Miss Sarah was saying and that her lips pouted out when she said it. Was it one? Melody couldn’t quite tell...

“And I’m a big girl!” Annie squealed over Melody’s existential crisis “I wear pull-ups!”

Melody was certain that she’d never met the auburn haired girl in the pink everything before today. Despite that, she couldn’t help but shake the feeling that she deeply resented and hated the twit. “They’re only pull-ups if you DON’T go potty in them,” Melody taunted. “The moment your stars go away they turn into diapers!”

It wasn’t the best insult, all things considered, but Melody’s more stinging and vulgar barbs had been taken from her by a simple command. It had the desired effect however. Annie was already starting to sniffle and tear up.

Good. Stuck up poopy pants potty trainer had it coming!

“Melody!” Miss April scoffed. “That’s not very nice!” No. No it wasn’t. The fact that it wasn’t made Mel-Mel feel a little better, too. Miss April handed over. “Annie, do you want to be a big girl and hold your Pull-Up for me?” That’s all it took to undo the damage Melody had caused.

Being called a big girl and being allowed to ‘help’ carry something that would soon be underneath her shorts was enough for simple Annie. Eddie was in the same boat.

Melody just rolled her eyes. Big boys and girls didn’t have to carry around extra pairs of undies. Her own indignation made her almost forget that she was tromping around a third rate theme park with a load in her pants. Almost…

“Melody? How about you? Do you want to be a big girl and hold your diaper for Miss April?”

The Pampers that was offered to her was bigger than any undergarment Melody could remember wearing. Her panties at home were much smaller. They could be balled up and shoved in her pocket if she’d wanted to….and that somehow made them more grown-up?

That was because of course, big girl panties could stretch and be thinner. They only had to cover. They didn’t have to absorb or contain anything. The Elmo decorated white rectangle shoved in her face was almost bigger than her head and reeked of perfume.

“Do you wanna be a big girl and hold your diaper?” Miss April repeated.

Melody made a move to slap the darn thing away. “N-!” She stopped herself when she saw a cluster of very familiar faces. Classmates! Real ones! They couldn’t see her! Not like this! Hurriedly, she snatched the diaper out of Miss April’s outstretched hand and used it as a shield.

“Don’t see me, don’t see me, don’t see me,” she whispered. Melody had never been to church, but it was a prayer all the same.

The last few moments were excruciating until the little group came to the bathroom; a big brick building with an in and an out door. “Okay,” Miss April reported after ducking in, “Only one changing station. I'll change Mel-Mel and Eddie first, then you take Annie potty?”

Miss Sarah pulled back the waistband of Annie’s pants and peeked inside. “Leave the wipes when you do…” she said. “Mrs. Jay called it.” BUSTED! That made Melody far happier than it had any right to.

Her schadenfreude was short lived, however, as Miss April reached out her hand. Like someone being pushed to the edge of a cliff, Melody felt an instinctual desire to do everything she could to prolong the inevitable. “Uhhh! Eddie first? He needs it more?”

“Oh sweetie,” Miss April said with a frown, “that’s very nice of you but…”

Miss Sarah interrupted. “Just change Eddie.” Eddie was more than happy to take the grown-ups hand and be lead into the ladies room. “Mel-Mel, what has gotten into you today, little girl?”

“Yeah,” Annie said. “Why are you bein’ so weird?”

Melody’s jaw hung open a half second. “Weird? I’m not the one pretending I’m a big girl while there’s poop in my pants!”

Miss Sarah cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Aren’t you, though? Aren’t you?” It wasn’t a command, but it shut Melody up all the same.

Eddie waddled out a minute later, the fresh Huggies taped around him still stiff and crinkly. “Okay Mel-Mel,” Miss April cooed. “Your turn. Come with me.”

Like a good girl, Melody’s body followed the grown-up into the restroom. Unlike the playground, everything was scaled correctly. No giant stalls. No humongo potties...err...toilets. No massive sinks. The only thing that did seem out of place was the changing table that was far too big to be necessary for someone young enough to be in diapers. And it wasn’t even in a handicapped stall. Melody was about to get her diaper changed right along the wall with a steady stream of women shuffling by her.

“No!” Melody protested. All it took was a reassuring shush to seal her lips. Her body even gave a little hop so she could be boosted onto the plastic folding table. The cooled mass in her panties didn’t squish nearly as much as it had. If anything, it was starting to crunch and crumble.

BEYOND gross! Almost past the threshold of no return, Melody laid down and allowed a strap to be fastened over her chest. One hand helpfully still held the fresh diaper to her chest. Her body wanted the poop and pee to be wiped away more than her mind wanted to hold onto her last vestige of adulthood and privacy?

“This will be real quick, baby girl” Miss April promised. “Just suck your thumb and we’ll be done before you know it.”

Darn it! Her right thumb popped into her mouth as the strange woman started popping open the snaps along Melody’s inseam. Her poor panties were now transmogrified into a diaper, a wet and messy one that sagged away from her and bunched up in all the wrong places. She needed a change. She needed it now.

The world seemed to slow down as Miss April reached for the newly manifested tapes on what used to be Melody’s underwear. Two pulls, one on either side, and she’d be completely exposed.

“Awwww!” An all too familiar voice broke Melody’s reverie. “Look at the baby!”

Melody’s entire body went nuclear with heat. “Chewnifer?” she mumbled around her thumb. Juniper was here! And her mother! They had both shuffled into the restroom, and Melody had her pants rolled up and her diaper in full view! Juniper even made eye contact.

Eye contact...but no recognition.

“Don’t even think about it until you're married,” Juniper’s mom cut in. “I’m not ready to be a grandma.”

April pivoted and showed them her shirt. “Daycare,” she said. Then she looked at Juniper. “We’ve actually got summer jobs opening up if you’re interested. We always have an influx of preschoolers and kindergarteners not old enough to stay home or go to camp or whatever.”

“Actually, that might be a good way to convince you to wait,” Juniper’s mom said.

“Moooom,” Juniper moaned. “I don’t wanna have babies, I just think they’re cute.” She squinted at Melody, and some glint of recognition registered in her eyes. “Hey,” she asked Miss April. “How old is she?” There was a hint, the barest splinter of suspicion.

“Melody?” Miss April spared her a look. “She’s ‘...Eighteen’.” And it was gone. As soon as those badly dubbed words tumbled out, Melody knew that the only thing that Juniper saw was a baby on a changing table.

“Oh,” Juniper shrugged. “I thought she was a little older.”

“Growth spurt. She’s big for her age.”

“Chewnifer!” Melody begged from behind her thumb. “Helph! Vey Furnin’ meh inta bebbe!” For her trouble, Melody was rewarded with cooing baby babble and motherese from Miss April. Miss April always did treat her the most like a baby.

“That’s a weird diaper.” Juniper pointed to Melody’s crotch. “Looks like it’s trying to be panties or somethin’.

“Yeah,” Miss April agreed. “I think it was a gimmick or something. Kinda like the blue jeans diapers.”

“Is it supposed to be for potty training or something?” Juniper wondered.

Her mother gave a knowing chuckle. “Potty training? ‘..Eighteen..’ isn’t nearly old enough for potty training.”

“Yeah,” Miss April sais. “We’ve got a few ‘...Eighteen…’ year olds in Pull-Ups, but it’s more like the parents are tired of changing diapers and are trying to rush things.” She thumbed backwards to where Annie was waiting. “Really just makes the clean up harder.”

“Huh,” Juniper shrugged. “Weird that they look like panties, then.”

Miss April just shrugged. “I don’t get it either. But this is the last one she’s got. Now it’s back to regular Pampers for you!” Melody didn’t want to giggle amidst the flurry of tickles to her ribs and tummy. Poor girl had no choice.

“Well, we’ll let you get to it.” Juniper said, before shuffling off to the toilet.

No amount of begging from her thumb could make Juniper come back. No amount of muffled screaming could cover up the sounds of velcro tapes being ripped off, it’s scritch scratch chorus filling the linoleum halls.

“So fussy, today.” Miss April said as she broke out the wipes. “You act as if you’ve never had your diaper changed before.” Melody hadn’t...not that she could remember. “You get changed all the time, though, remember?”

And just like that, Melody did. She didn’t want to, but she did. This was no different than any other time she got changed by a grown-up. The surface of this changing table wasn’t as nice and comfy as the one she had in her nursery at home, or as familiar as the sturdy one at Daycare, but it was functionally the same.

The cold wipes scraping poopy off her bum were the same that Mommy and Steve used. They felt good on her skin after sitting in that hot mushy diaper...panties?...diaper… She couldn’t help it, but she actually let out a sigh of relief as she began to feel the fresh hair on her privates. Clean at last.

All of these conflicting, contradictory messages filled her head. She was eighteen, a grown woman about to break out into the world. She was a baby, a toddler at best who still needed her Mommy. She was graduating highschool soon! She was a regular at daycare!

None of it made sense.

But the grown-up was right. The grown-up was always right. And a dark, increasingly fearful part of Melody’s brain wondered if the only reason she still was able to think of herself as a big girl at all was because Miss April or one of the other grown-ups hadn’t told her not to.

“Say bye, bye to the old diaper.” Miss April cooed.

An order was given. “Bye bye.”

The diaper was out of Melody’s hands and quickly unfolded. “And say hello to the new one!”

“Hello.”

A smile crept up Melody’s lips as the giant Pampers slid and crinkled beneath her. Mommy always got her Pampers. Melody frowned a little bit when Miss April started pulling the diaper up between her legs. No powder. Miss April hadn’t brought any. The sweet smelling perfume locked into the diaper’s core, should be enough.

The diaper was quickly pulled snug around her hips, and just like that, Melody was fresh, clean, and oddly relieved.

“There,” Miss April said as she buttoned Mel-Mel’s snaps back up. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Melody hopped off the table. “Fankyoo…” she said, oddly relieved, but still not quite feeling herself. Her hand reached out and took Miss April’s. The crisp crinkle of the fresh diaper was easy to hear again.

Soon enough, Melody knew from experience, the diaper would conform more to her shape and not be quite so stiff. Soon enough she’d wet this one or poopy. Soon enough she’d be right back on her back like always...hopefully just before naptime or some other boring thing. She wouldn’t want to miss something fun because of a diaper change.

On the way out, she got herself a little wave to Juniper as her former classmate washed her hands in the sink. Boring old goodie goodie Juniper seemed so grown-up to Melody just then. She couldn’t help but be in awe of Juniper. Melody couldn’t help it. She genuinely hoped the bigger girl would sign up for that Summer Job. Miss Juniper looked like she’d be a good playground supervisor.

“You’re up,” one grown-up said to the other. Miss Sarah took the packet of wipes and took Annie into the bathroom. “Meet you at the amphitheater.”

And so the two big babies and their caregiver went to a show, now with nothing for Melody to hide her face behind as Highschoolers walked in the opposite direction.

“Eddie?” Melody asked. “Have you always been like this?” Her mind instantly knew two answers at the same time.

Eddie gave voice to the louder one. “I think so,” he said. “I’ve always been a baby. Deep down anyways. Then I think came here and…” Eddie stopped talking and frowned. “Or maybe that was a dream. I don’t ‘member.”

“You’ve been here before?”

“Yeah.” Eddie said. “We come here every year, Mel-Mel. You know that.”

And she did. Another two bits of contradicting knowledge and memory: One grown-up and one baby. She’d never been here, and she’d always been here. Today’s circumstances were both paranormally bizarre, and completely routine. Two lives were stuck between her ears, and she didn’t know which one to believe anymore.

The warbling of a grown-up and chorus of childish laughter signaled “Do your ears hang low do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie ‘em in a knot? Can you tie ‘em in a bow? ”

It was an old stupid song that she’d long grown out of. It was a new and delightful song that Melody had never heard before. Her head hurt just thinking about it. Had she had both hands free she would have clapped them over her ears. Instead she contented herself by going back to her thumb.

What on Earth was happening to her? Was she still even on Earth anymore?

She was escorted to the very front row, where a middle aged man strummed on a guitar. “Oh looks like we’ve got a few more kids trickling in.”

“Melody had to get her diaper changed!” Whelp, at least Melody now knew where Beatrice was. No laughter, came from the audience. Even Melody didn’t feel embarrassed anymore. Her grown up brain was already stretched out beyond embarrassment, and her baby brain felt no reason to be embarrassed.

“Well hello, Melody. My name’s Reffie!” The old guy said. His face kind of wrinkly, and he had a beard, but not a cool beard like Santa. He was somehow both bald and had a ponytail in the back. “How old are you?”

“ ‘...Eighteen..’” Melody gasped. Her words came out one way, but her lips moved another!

“Oh,” the old man chuckled. “I was ‘..Eighteen..’ just like you were once, believe it or not. And sometimes it was rough. Would you like to hear a song about it?”

Melody had no time to respond. The shouting of “Yeah!” from everyone around her drowned out any reply she may have given.

A simple, if steady blues riff sang out from the guitar.

“My Mama took my bottle

She took away my apple juice

My Mama took my bottle

She took away my apple juice

Got somethin' squishy in my tushie

I got them saggy diaper blues.”

The got a laugh, from the grown-ups most of all. Not from Melody though. Somehow she could relate. It really was no fun when grown-ups took stuff away.

“My nanny up and left me

I can't find that girl nowhere

My nanny up and left me

I can't find that girl nowhere

So I'm just sittin' here in my high chair cryin'

Puttin' Spaghettios in my hair.”

She found herself nodding. It stunk when grown-ups left you alone with nothing to do to entertain yourself. Mel-Mel wanted to be the center of attention. Always! Oh how she wished she could be big! But in that wish, Mel-Mel realized that she just admitted to herself that she wasn’t big. Before today, she might have argued her size or her age made her big, but neither seemed to disqualify her now. Saggy or not, her diaper still fit.

A bit of a flourish, and the kiddie singer brought it home.

“Boom boom boom, what's that in my room?

I smell somethin', ain't no perfume

Look in the trunk and what do I find?

Ain't no spare tire—got a stinky behind

Mama, mama mama

It's hangin' down to my shoes

Better hurry up and change me

I got them saggy diaper blues.”

Oh the catharsis! Oh the drama! How it mirrored her own life experiences! Truly this was art! Before she knew it, she was clapping along and cheering with the rest of her Daycare class. And not a single Grown-Up had to tell her.

“But it’s not all bad,” the entertainer said when all the applause had died down. “There are plenty of upsides to being your age, too.”

“Like what?” Melody hadn’t meant to call out...it just bubbled up out of her.

“Oh, a little girl or little boy always asks me that.” The old man smiled. The grown-ups sitting with them all laughed, like there was a joke that only they got. “And here’s what I tell him.”

A happier, more upbeat riff this time:

“I can crawl around on the ground

I'm allowed to make obnoxious sounds

I can be asleep both night or day

I ain't got much hair to brush

And there ain't no need for me to flush

And that is why you'll always hear me say

Man, it sure is great to be a baby.”

Mel-Mel couldn’t tell if she was nodding in agreement or just bobbing her head, but her foot was tapping along. Old guy had a lot of good points!

“You can sit all day and suck your thumb

I can chew my brother's toes

And play with the stuff inside my nose

And the pans in the kitchen cupboard make great drums.”

That DID sound fun! What did grown-up Melody have to look forward to? Nothing. More complaining and witching (though that wasn’t quite the right word…) from Mom and Steve for not doing her chores. Lectures about getting a job. She definitely wasn’t going to college.

In a kind of euphoric trance, Mel-Mel looked around. It was like a magic ritual. The other (yes other) babies clapped along like good little boys and girls. The grown-ups watched patiently, smiling kindly. Mrs. Jay even gave a wink at Mel-Mel when they made eye contact.

She knew! Mrs. Jay knew! That’s when Mel-Mel knew too. All of these people, all these other toddlers, never grew up. They never had to. Never needed to. It’s why Bea was being such a good baby. She’d always been one. Always needing a firm hand to guide her and tell her what to do and only wanting to play. Who else but a baby thought like that?

Mel-Mel didn’t have an answer for that. In her mind(s) at least, there wasn’t one.

So much catchier than any grown-up song she knew, the song picked up speed as the ritual neared its conclusion.

“Get strolled, carried, burped and cuddled

Wiped, powdered, diapered, swaddled

Hugged, tickled, dried, tossed

Ported, dressed, kissed, washed

Swung, spoiled, peek-a-boo!

Pampered, nibbled, coochee-coo!

Snuggled, cuddled, rocked and fed

Sung to, nursed and put to bed.”

Melody sang along with the last refrain. Everyone except the grown-ups did.

“Man, it sure is great to be a baby!”

The moment those words came out of her mouth, Melody died. There was no pain, no inky blackness, no pearly gates or burning hells. Her heart did not stop. Her lungs still drew breath. It was not the death of a physical body, but the death of a point of view; the death of an identity. Melody the highschooler and adult on the verge of freedom just faded away, and little Mel-Mel the big baby toddler came out to play. Forever.

Gone were memories of school, or work, or peer pressure, or independence. All of that silly old stuff evaporated right along side big fancy words and big girl beds and modesty and potty training. Mel-Mel’s diaper remained clean and dry, but only because she had just been changed.

The juice boxes and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches they’d all partake in after the concert would see to that. If she was really wet, she’d be changed before getting back on the bus. If not, Mommy would take care of it. Mommy, or somebody else. What happened in Mel-Mel’s diaper wasn’t her problem, anymore. It never had been.

And Mel-Mel’s discipline was never a problem even when she was feeling a bit naughty or cranky. She always listened to grown-ups. Always...

One Year Later...

“What the fuck?!” the new girl shouted. “What the hell is going on?!”

Mel-Mel stopped racing Bea on the spring horsey and dismounted. Her diaper still crinkled a little bit underneath her pretty white dress that Mommy had dressed her in today for the field trip. She might’ve been wet, but she couldn’t tell. She could never tell. That’s why grown-ups like Miss Juniper had to check her. It was so much easier for all involved then asking the poor ‘...Eighteen…’ year old to know for herself.

She loved this trip; had looked forward to it all year, in fact. Fun Time Land had the best rides, and nothing was better than the spring horseys at the Kiddie Korral!

“Excuse me!” the new girl waddled up. “Excuse me! Do you know what’s going on?!”

“We’re havin’ a field trip!” Bea volunteered helpfully.

“She asked me, Bea!” Mel-Mel stuck her tongue out at her bestest friend. Bea playfully stuck her tongue back out.

The new girl didn’t seem to notice. She’d just slid down into the ballpit for the first time and seemed shocked that something besides water filled the big ol’ pool at the bottom. To be fair, it happened to a lot of babies. It had even happened to Mel-Mel once or twice.

“I was here with my family,” the new girl said. “And my brat of a younger brother ran away from me and I tried to find him and I checked the slide just in case and...and...and…” she took a deep breath. “Where did all the babies go?!”

Mel-Mel and Bea looked at each other. “Um...here?”

It was Bea who had the idea. “Wait, Becky, are we playing invis-di-ble now? Can you not see me?” Oh yeah, Mel-Mel remembered. This wasn’t a new girl. This was Becky. Silly Becky! Her Mommy sometimes called her Rebeccah, but only when she was being naughty.

Bea bent over so she could do a summersault, giving everybody a good look at her Luvs in the process. “Invis-di-ble flippy flip!”

“Oh my god!” Becky gasped. “Are you wearing a fucking diaper?”

“Her or me?” Mel-Mel asked Becky.

“BOTH OF YOU!”

Mel-Mel frowned. She THOUGHT she’d been wearing a diaper. Just in case, she lifted her dress all the way up past her waist so she could look down. Cookie Monster grinned up at her from her Pampers. “Yup!” she told Becky. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Becky asked. Then her eyes grew wide. Mirroring, Mel-Mel, Bekcy hiked up her skirt and stared down at her diaper. It was a funny looking one: Mint Green with some kind of yellow trim. Had a bunny on it everything. “What happened to my-...” Becky interrupted herself. “I'M PEEING!” she shrieked.

Becky’s hands shot down to her diaper and she looked real embarrassed for some reason. Mel-Mel for her part had stopped paying attention. She had a silly grin on her face as she stared past Becky and bent her knees. “Pooooooopie…” she whispered just as the back of her diaper ballooned out.

“Are you…?” Becky stuttered. “Are you shitting yourself?”

Mel-Mel blinked when she was done. “Huh?” She didn’t know what those words meant. “Sorry. I was just poopin’. Wanna play horsey with me and Bea?”

“NO!”

Mel-Mel let her dress drop back down. Her diaper sagged just enough where somebody could see the very bottom of it now. “Okay. Come on Bea!” For some reason, Becky looked like she was gonna be sick when Mel-Mel got back on the horsey. She turned almost as green as her fancy looking diaper. Maybe that’s why she was so fussy today, maybe Becky was getting sick.

On a completely different note, the saddle felt a lot softer and mushier as Mel-Mel bucked up and down on the play pony.

“Becky!” Miss Juniper called. “You leave Mel-Mel alone if you can’t be nice to them.” Becky walked away...even though she looked like she didn’t want to. Must’ve meant that she couldn’t be nice. That was the nice thing about Miss Juniper didn’t give orders like the other grown-ups, and when she did, she still gave you a choice.

Mel-Mel didn’t know why, but she had a feeling that Becky was going to have a very bad day. That was okay though. Mel-Mel had had bad days too. Soon enough, probably by tomorrow, Becky would be back to normal. This field trip had a way of making everything right again.