Chapter Ten

Ms. Akiyama’s sunglasses blocked out the brilliant reflection of the sun off the still remaining banks of snow as she walked up the concrete steps of a cute little three-story townhouse. Cute little handmade Halloween decorates hung in the windows, like pumpkins and ghosts cut out of construction paper and black and orange paper ring chains. Ms. Akiyama reached out one finger and jabbed the white plastic doorbell and heard a series of chimes call in response from inside.

A gust of wind cut through Ms. Akiyama’s peacoat as she waited; the snow was melting, but it was still unseasonably cold for this time of year.

“Well,” a tall woman with strawberry blonde hair, tanned pink skin, and big glasses wearing mom jeans and a slightly wrinkled white blouse exclaimed with a slight southern drawl as she opened the door, “if it isn’t Hana Akiyama. Darling, how are you doing? Please come in,” she pushed open the screen door and stepped aside for her visitor, “I was so pleasantly surprised to hear from you last night.”

“Hi, Heather,” Ms. Akiyama gave a tight lipped but polite smile as she stepped past the other woman and into her home. Ms. Akiyama immediately checked the floor around herself and the door, noting no discarded shoes and a pair of off-white New Balances on Heather’s feet, cueing her to leave her own shoes on. She then surveyed the room she had stepped into; a large living room with a dark grey couch flanked by a matching dark wood set of end tables and coffee table facing a sleek black entertainment center with a large flat-screen TV currently playing cartoons. “Thank you so much for inviting me over today, I really appreciate the chance to pick your brain.”

“Oh, no worries at all, darling; I’m so happy to help you! Come on,” Heather beckoned Ms. Akiyama further into the house, waving her in with pale pink acrylic nails, “we can talk in my office! May I get you something to drink?”

Ms. Akiyama followed the other women deeper into the house, but as she rounded the couch, her eyes were fixated on the large, open space in the living room where a girl Rei’s age sat in a playpen. The playpen itself was made of interlocking, hard plastic squares and could be configured to various shapes and sizes. The walls stood a little more than three feet high: taller than one would need to keep a toddler-sized toddler from mantling the sides, which was good since the toddler sitting in the middle of it was taller than Ms. Akiyama (though, admittedly, she was not a very tall woman).

Megan Eckridge didn’t seem to notice Ms. Akiyama at first. Her gaze was fixed on the TV and a line of drool fell from the corner of her mouth around the thumb firmly planted inside. She was wearing a cropped t-shirt and a bright pink diaper with bunnies on it. It was clearly wet. On the floor in front of the girl’s crossed legs was a coloring book and a box of colored pencils.

“Hi, Megan,” Ms. Akiyama said tentatively, giving the girl a little wave.

The girl turned her head towards her name and immediately withdrew her thumb, wiping it on her shirt and trying to pretend she wasn’t just sucking it. “Um, hi,” she responded, but there was no recognition behind those eyes.

“Oh, silly me,” Heather came back to where Ms. Akiyama had stopped, “I didn’t even think you might want to say hello to little miss Megan over here. Megan,” she addressed the girl with a saccharine voice, “do you remember your friend Rei?”

Megan smiled and nodded, understanding dawning on her face. “Yes, um,” she turned her head towards Ms. Akiyama, “hello, Ms. Akiyama.” Her diction was far better than everything else about her appearance (size aside) would suggest.

“Hi, Megan,” Ms. Akiyama couldn’t help but find herself bending over the girl a little bit in mimicry of Heather’s stance, “how are you doing today?” Nor could she keep a certain cooing quality out of her voice. Somewhere in her brain, she knew this was a nineteen-year-old girl, just like Rei, and yet the illusion of toddlerhood was so convincing, she couldn’t help but respond to it.

“I’m good,” her cheeks were turning a warm red, “just…watching TV and coloring.”

“She’s being a good girl for mommy while mommy works, isn’t that right, munchkin?” Heather chimed in.

“Mommy…” the girl whined embarrassedly, yet seemingly unembarrassed to be heard calling her mother ‘mommy,’ Then the girl’s eyes suddenly went wide, as if just remembering something, “is Rei here?” She leaned over, her diaper crinkling under her, to look behind Ms. Akiyama.

“Not today, sweetheart,” Ms. Akiyama responded.

“But,” Heather chimed in immediately, “maybe it won’t be too long before you two can have a playdate, right Hana?”

Ms. Akiyama let out a little breathless laugh, “yes, maybe, would you like that, Megan?”

Megan put her finger to her lip, pantomiming being deep in thought, and Ms. Akiyama couldn’t help but notice how truly toddler-like Megan was in that moment. “Sometimes,” Megan said at last, “I miss Rei, it would be nice to see her.”

“Well, then we will just have to make sure to arrange that for you two,” Heather reached down and grabbed the pacifier hanging from Megan’s shirt and popped it in the girl’s mouth. “Now, Ms. Akiyama and Mommy are going to go talk in her office, you be good and watch your show, okay? And no more thumb sucking, little lady, that’s what your paci is for.” Heather booped her daughter’s nose, eliciting a gleeful giggle in response, then straightened up and beckoned Ms. Akiyama deeper into the house.

“Now, Hana,” Heather said as she led Ms. Akiyama into the dining room and pulled out a chair for her, “can I get your something to drink? Coffee? Iced tea?” She dropped her voice and held her hand to her mouth as if whispering a secret, “a glass of white wine? I won’t judge, darling!”

Ms. Akiyama chuckled politely, “a coffee sounds lovely, Heather, thank you.”

“Coming right up,” Heather walked into the kitchen, pulled out two mugs and began fiddling with a pod coffee machine as she spoke. “You know, I was a little surprised to hear from you last night. And don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t unwelcome, I was just…surprised, you know?”

Ms. Akiyama did know. She had once been pretty good friends with Heather Eckridge. Their daughters had met in middle school and become inseparable for years after that. Heather might not have been the kind of person Ms. Akiyama would have become friends with under more natural circumstances, but their daughter’s friendship had put them in close proximity and the two had eventually grown fond of each other. And then everything changed, and their friendship changed with it. It wasn’t like they were strangers now, but they…well…aside from the run-in a few months ago at the store, the most the two had communicated since their daughters had graduated from high school was through liking each other’s social media posts. Which, for Ms. Akiyama, just added to the surrealness of this reunion; she felt like she knew every major life update Heather had gone through for the past couple of years, and vice versa, while also having drifted away from the woman they had happened to.

“Yes, I’m…sorry I didn’t keep in better touch,” Ms. Akiyama replied, mostly because she felt like that’s what she should say.

“No worries, sugar,” Heather said as she came back into the dining room and set two glass of iced tea down. “I understand life is just hectic these days; I mean, you see what I’ve had my hands full with,” she chuckled as she gestured back towards the living room. “Speaking of, you said this was about Rei? What’s going on with her?”

Ms. Akiyama sighed, blowing the steam from her coffee cup as she did, “I’m not sure I even know, Heather,” she replied, “and that’s kind of the problem.”

Heather made an sympathetic sound in her throat and sipped on her coffee. “I’ll be honest, Hana; I always thought you were against…well, the kind of treatment Megan gets,” Heather said bluntly but neither accusatorially nor defensively. “To be honest, I thought it was part of the reason we drifted apart.”

“I was never against it,” Ms. Akiyama replied, “and it certainly wasn’t the reason we drifted apart.” Of course, neither statement was entirely true; though, in fairness, neither was entirely false, either. “I guess I just…never understood it,” she said, a little more honestly, “but, lately…well…” she shrugged and took a sip of her coffee.

“Why don’t you tell me the whole story, darling? Right from the beginning.”

So, Ms. Akiyama did. “I’m just worried about her,” Ms. Akiyama said some few minutes later as she was coming to the conclusion of her tale, “worried she’s going to start hanging out with the wrong crowds and get herself in trouble, not to mention fill her head with ideas that will only lead to being unhappy and frustrated. I know Rei’s independence is important to her, and I’ve tried to be respectful of that, but if these are the kinds of decisions she is making with that independence, maybe…maybe she’s not mature enough to handle it, after all.

“I understand exactly what you mean, darling,” Heather reached out and placed a sympathetic hand on Ms. Akiyama’s, “that’s why we never let Megan go off to college. Her and Rei are so alike, I just know Megan would have ended up taking those kinds of classes, probably gotten herself involved with that Rebel group—”

“And that’s exactly what I’m worried about,” Ms. Akiyama interjected. “It’s bad enough that Rei is even taking these kinds of classes, but going behind my back and lying about it is so unlike her that I’m worried what else she might be capable of doing. It makes me worried she’s already gotten her head full of ideas that are going to get her hurt or worse.”

Heather nodded along sympathetically as Ms. Akiyama spoke. “It would certainly be a tragedy to see poor Rei go down that path.”

“So,” Ms. Akiyama continued, “I started thinking last night, and it just…kind of clicked. You know, like I said, I never was really against this kind of…behavioral therapy,” Ms. Akiyama used what she believed was the politically correct term for it, “I just…didn’t understand. But…” Ms. Akiyama went on to explain her thought process, finishing with a timid, “does that make sense?”

“It makes perfect sense, darling, and that’s exactly why we decided this was best for Megan.”

“Do you ever…regret it?”

“Goodness, no! Megan and I are closer than ever, and I know she’s happy and staying out of trouble.”

“Is she though? Happy, that is.”

Heather smiled, “come on,” she stood up from the table and headed back into the living room.

Ms. Akiyama pushed her chair away from the table and followed Heather, finding her kneeling down next to the playpen, where Megan’s focus had shifted from the TV to her coloring book.

“Honey?” Heather said gently, getting Megan’s attention.

“Hi, Mommy,” the girl mumbled around her pacifier.

“Sweetheart,” Heather reached out and gently pulled the pacifier from her daughter’s mouth, “how do you feel about being a little girl again for Mommy and Daddy?”

Megan’s smile positively beamed, “I love it, Mommy.”

“Do you ever,” Ms. Akiyama chimed in as she settled on the floor next to Heather, “miss being a big girl?”

Megan scrunched up her face in thought, “well, I used to, but I really don’t anymore. Besides, Mommy says I’ll be a big girl again. When I’m ready.” She added the last bit as an afterthought.

“Of course,” Heather added, “that’s still quite a few years away, huh little one?”

Megan just giggled and nodded.

But, Ms. Akiyama wanted to ask, are you really happy? But what did that question even mean; how could Megan possibly answer it? And why was Ms. Akiyama so bent on not taking Megan’s response at face value? Especially when every piece of evidence seemed to verify the truth of it.

“Thank you, Megan,” Ms. Akiyama said as she pushed herself up off the floor, “I’ll let you get back to playing.”

“Um, Ms. Akiyama?” Megan asked as the two mothers began moving back to the dining room.

“Yes?”

“Is Rei going to…are you…is Rei going to be a little girl again too?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart, why do you ask?”

Megan looked down at her hands, which fiddled with her pacifier. “I miss Rei. I didn’t want to stop being friends with her, but I thought she wouldn’t want to be friends with me after…you know…”

Ms. Akiyama couldn’t help but feel her heart breaking from the young girl. “Don’t worry, Megan,” she replied, “even if Rei doesn’t become a little girl again, I’ll see what I can do about you two being friends still, okay?”

Megan smiled that beaming smile again and thanked Ms. Akiyama before popping her pacifier back in and returning to her coloring.

“See?” Heather said as the two women sat back down in front of their coffees. “I wouldn’t have guessed she’d be this happy when we started, but…well, here we are.”

Ms. Akiyama sighed, “I can’t deny that, I just worry Rei won’t…share those kinds of feelings.”

“Listen,” Heather replied, leaning forward to convey her seriousness, “almost every mom I talk to says the same: before long, every girl accepts her place and is happier for it. I’m not going to tell you it will be easy; if you are really thinking about this…well, I mean, you tell me, are you really thinking about doing this?”

Ms. Akiyama looked away from Heather, staring at the wall that hid Megan from sight. “I am,” she said after a long moment, surprising even herself. “I mean, maybe not taking it as far as you have with Megan, but…”

“Well, that’s another thing,” Heather said, “early on, a little bit goes a long way, but if Rei is taking those kinds of classes at college and going behind your back, I think you need to think about how far you want to go, and then be prepared to go further, if necessary.”

Ms. Akiyama considered this, “well, how far do you think would be far enough?”

Heather shrugged, “it’s different for every girl and every family, you have to figure out what’s best for you. Look, darling, I’m happy to help you with this if you need it, and you certainly look like you need some help, but the best thing I can suggest is to get some professional help.”

“Professional help?”

“Yeah! We went to Brighter Days School and Behavioral Therapy for Girls; they were fantastic. Richard and I couldn’t have done this without them.”

“Oh, no,” Ms. Akiyama quickly brushed aside the suggestion, “I don’t think Rei would respond well to being sent off to a school like that.”

“That’s the thing, you don’t have to send her there.”

“What do you mean?”

“When Richard and I first decided to handle Megan with this kind of behavioral therapy, we went to them for a consultation. We told them what kind of girl Megan was and what our goals were for her, and they gave us just so many tools and resources we could use. Megan had no idea, and we couldn’t have gotten the results we did without them.”

“Huh,” Ms. Akiyama took this in as she sipped at her coffee. That, she had to admit, sounded like exactly what she needed.

“If you want,” Heather offered, “I have a referral code I can give you; should get you a discount on the initial consultation.”

“I guess…it can’t hurt, right?”