The first sound I hear is the cheerful tone from my phone, my morning alarm. With a groan I violently tap the screen until I hit the snooze button by happenstance for the third time this morning. After hitting it, I groan as I roll over, hair getting into my eyes. If that was the third time hitting the snooze, I really should get up. With that thought I finally open my eyes and they adjust to the dim lighting of my room, lit gingerly in a soft blue by a night light on the opposite wall from my bed. The bars to my former crib rested over it, and it resulted in weird, but not unpleasant shadows along the wall. In the crib bars' place were smaller bed rails, that only rose about an three inched or so past the side of the bed. Really serving as more of a gentle nudge against falling out and not the full stop the crib bars provided, but in fairness I no longer even really needed the gentle nudge.

I sat up and stretched. Along with the feeling of my joints popping I felt the immediate weight of my soaked night time diaper, the only thing keeping it from sagging was the soft pink onesie I was wearing holding it in place against me. This sensation was no longer something new, it had become a bit mundane in fact. I took time to adjust Scooper, the large stuffed alligator I’ve slept with since I came here, to a more natural looking position, and then started getting ready for the day. It was an important one after all.

I moved over to the closet in my room, noting how I looked in the mirror. Messy hair, soft pink onesie, sagging diaper underneath, and a pacifier clipped loosely to the onesie’s collar. Undeniably baby, but at the same time undeniably a girl. I removed the onesie and the diaper, balling it up and tossing it in the bin in my room. Just then my phone chimed again, the nine minute third snooze finally going off. With some annoyance I march over to the phone, and more accurately hit the stop alarm button. As I returned to the closet, and the mirror on its door I looked at myself, now fully naked. I don’t think I’ll ever get over my new reflection. The parts of my body that once since waves of dysphoria through my mind were gone replaced by parts that were unmistakably feminine. Fantasia really was a miracle drug; the results were worth the investment and the cost.

I get back to dressing quickly. While my new parts were visually indistinguishable from those of someone born female, they were functionally useless. The full night diaper I had just thrown away was a testament to one way in which it was useless. A lingering side effect of the treatment was full urinary incontinence, my new parts simply lacked the ability to hold in urine, and they sent no sensation telling me I needed to go. At any moment, and without any knowledge from me, I could start peeing and make a puddle on the floor. So, I quickly grabbed a pull-up from the open package, sitting next to the open package of diapers, and slid it on.

The diapers had a very cute pink unicorn print, the stars of which faded when wet. I had come to appreciate the cutesy aesthetic, especially fade when wet shapes. I find them to be cute as well as informative for someone who has no idea when or how much they wet. They of course were childish, but Mags says that what I wear to bed and while lounging in my home is my own business, and it can be as childish or as adult as I want it to be. Given the choice, I preferred the childish diapers, even if they were noticeably more expensive than the plain variety. I had been practicing my diaper budgeting and planning with Mags though, and I think I can swing them. I also enjoyed my cute onesies, pacifiers, and stuffies as part of my night time wardrobe. Onesies were not only cute, but also kept the often-soaked night diapers in place, and I had acquired something of an oral fixation in my time here, so the pacifier helped me relax, and I had always slept with stuffed animals, even before the fantasia.

While my pajamas could be as childish as I wanted, what I wore during the day had to be at least mostly adult, especially now at the end of my treatment where I was supposed to emerge as a full-fledged adult woman ready for the world. Even still, my adult pull-ups had prints, and still had fade when wet designs, though they were a bit more a mature. It was black with the image of a large flower on it, the outlines of which faded when wet, a much more subtle indication. After the pull-up came the bra, something I’m still not quite used to, but fantasia is a hell of a drug. Then came the actual clothes all in the half pink half scene vibe I had chosen for my new style. This outfit was a long pink dress, covered by a black jacket and paired with black knee socks and boots. I looked at my closet and realized I had a severe lack of pants, but I didn’t take fantasia and undergo the two years of the treatment that follows just to wear pants again.

Now fully dressed for the day, I emerged from my room, Mags stood waiting for me, her ever present smile donning her face.

“Happy birthday Heather!” she was beaming.

“My birthday was like three months ago,” I said with a chuckle.

“That was Tyler’s birthday,” Mags never dropped her enthusiasm. “And you are Heather. This is your last day with me, and your first day as the new woman you are. So, you get a new birthday.”

“That’s cheesy,” I giggled, but secretly I accepted the logic. Mags wasn’t wrong, and I actually would appreciate this last chance to spend time with her. We had grown close over these last two years, it’s hard not to grow close to your caretaker and mentor. She had gone from changing my diapers and taking care of me in my post fantasia regression, to getting me reacquainted with the adult world and teaching me how to be a woman.

“I already have the movers getting your things sent to your apartment, and I got you a case of your favorite diapers and pull-ups.” Even after two years of waking up with a soggy diaper around my waist the mention of them still gives me a bit of a blush.

As we made our way to the center room of Mags’ house, a combination of living room and kitchen, I noticed the small pink cake on the counter, and my friend Rose by it, smiling and waving. I grew a little flush and looked at Mags.

“I couldn’t resist,” Mags admitted with a shrug.

“I won’t complain about free cake,” I joked and made my way over to the counter. Stopping to give Rose a quick hug.

“Big day for you,” Rose stated. “Nervous?”

“Hella,” I answered honestly. “But excited. Come on let’s get some cake.”

I was glad Rose was here. Mags called her my “pillow sister.” While I cringe a bit at that name, she was just as helpful a mentor as Mags was. She had undergone Fantasia herself, she was one of Mag’ old charges. She helped teach me all the things about my new body that Mags, as a government sanctioned caretaker, legally couldn’t. My new parts, while functionally useless, still had working nerve endings. With Rose’s help I was able to learn just how to appreciate this fact. She taught me where to stick things, how to work them properly, and just how good a wet diaper can feel with the right stimulation. Ours was an intimate, but platonic friendship. She had just as much a right to celebrate today as Mags or I did. My success couldn’t have been possible without either of them.

I moved into the kitchen. My old high chair was still waiting by the refrigerator. I opened the cabinet next to it to get out three plates, then I moved down to another cabinet, reaching past the rows filled with over sized baby bottles to get three glasses.

“I feel like a first birthday needs to be in the high chair,” Rose teased. “Getting cake all over your hands and face.

“You’re welcome to do that if you want,” I said raising my nose.

“Heather never really liked getting messy anyway,” Mags commented. “Always cried when she got food on her.” I coughed to hide the blush as I cut the cake. Rose giggled with delight at the embarrassing story. “You were totally different Rose,” Mags continued. “I had to fight to keep you from smearing your food all over yourself.” Rose’s delight was replaced with embarrassment.

“Big girl plates,” I smiled handing Rose and Mags a plate with cake on it.

We all moved into the living room to eat our pieces of cake and the conversation continued.

“I heard you’re moving into my apartment building,” Rose said happily.

“It was the apartment I had before,” I paused to take a bite of my cake.

“Rent pause program,” Mags explained while I ate.

“I wanted a whole new place myself when I got done,” Rose explained. “To start over. I don’t know how you can stay in the same place, but I’m glad we’re neighbors.”

“Me too,” I said after eating my bite of cake.

“Are you all stocked up?” Rose said subtly. “I know Mags has you keep track of it as part of her program, but it’s still an adjustment to keep track of it on your own.”

“I already set her up with her favorite diapers and pull-ups,” Mags said with not as much subtlety. “Fun time unicorns, and little roses I think.”

“Oh, wow pull-ups,” Rose joked knowingly. “You really are a big girl.” I gave Rose a knowing look. Everyone in the room knew that Rose didn’t wear pull-ups. A lot of the people that undergo fantasia treatments choose to just wear diapers full time, even giving up on the bowel continence that one could regain with a little effort. Rose was one such person.

“Are you really teasing me for not being stuck in baby diapers?” I playfully ribbed Rose.

“They’re only baby diapers if they’re on a baby,” her reply was petulant.

“Oh, come on you two. I can still stick a paci in both of your mouths and then we’ll see who the babies are.” Mags said with finality. That got a deep blush from both of us, and we quickly finished our pieces of cake. “Speaking of Heather’s apartment, perhaps we should head over and get her settled,” Mags said standing up. Rose and I both were somewhat hardwired to obey her and got up immediately. “I’ll pack up the cake for you Heather. You guys go on ahead.” Rose and I made our way out of the door. Both of our cars were in the driveway. I fidgeted with my keys a little bit.

“You good?” Rose said noting my hesitation.

“Yeah it’s still a little weird to be driving again is all,” I explained with nervous chuckle.

“I know what you mean,” Rose sympathized. “The jump from car seat to uh …” Rose searched for a word but failed to find one. “car … seat.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “ can be jarring. I’ll stay behind you just to be safe.” Rose smiled, and got in her car. I did the same. As I got in and cranked it, it noted that my oversized five-point harness booster seat was still in the back of Mags SUV. To be fair the actual seat had to be replaced to accommodate it, and mags would likely have another charge soon so there was no reason to get it removed.

It was only a moderately lengthy drive to my apartment. Rose was with me as I opened the door to it with my keys. Mags and I had inspected it a week ago, and were in it a few days ago instructing furniture delivery. There were still unopened boxes, and some pieces of furniture had not been placed yet, but everything was there.

“It feels weird,” I said aloud. “Being alone.” I turned to Rose looking for sympathy and found it.

“You get back in the swing of things pretty quickly,” she replied hopefully. “You had the remote work program, right? That helps a lot.”

“Yeah, I did, first day back in the office tomorrow. As Heather.” I trailed off at the end.

“And you’ll be great,” Rose’s smile was confident, a confidence that even boosted my own. “Come one let’s unpack some of these boxes. Plus I got to help you pick out places for the baby furniture.”

“Baby furniture?” I questioned, the fact that I had no intention of ordering baby furniture was obvious in my tone.

“Trust me, you’ll get something. Mags has a catalog, you’re gonna wanna go ahead and get it.” Roses tone communicated that she wasn’t joking here, at least not entirely. I had been in her apartment so I know she has a high chair and a bouncer at least. I had never intended to get anything like that, it couldn’t be cheap. Now that Rose had said it though, I was already feeling kind of home sick. Even toward the end of my treatment, when my regression had long since stopped being involuntary, I enjoyed a several relaxing days in my playpen and bouncer. Mags said that what I did in my own home was my business and if that included playing baby that was ok. I had never considered that as a possibility until now. “You can definitely have a play pen here,” Rose imagined with enthusiasm.

“That’s a perfect spot for it Rose,” Mags said entering the apartment, cake box in hand. “I did bring the catalogue with me.” Mags opened the refrigerator and put the cake inside.

“I guess I need it,” I said a little unsure.

“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” Mags sat the cake down on the kitchen counter. “But baby furniture can come later. Adult furniture first."

We got to work organizing my furniture, me trying to remember as best I could where they had been two years ago, and for the most part failing. I was almost cursing myself for having my furniture stored off site, but the idea of whoever had my place in the interim using my furniture still made me a little uncomfortable. I had taken a moment to hydrate, and instinctually reached down to feel my pull-up. It was full, likely with a combination of pee and sweat, which made me want to change even more.

“You have to work on your checking technique I think,” Mags approached me with her ever present smile. “Grabbing your crotch isn’t very womanly, even if I think it’s cute. How are you feeling sweetie?” I looked at Mags. I wanted to dismiss her, and say I was fine, but she knew me to well for me to get away with that.

“I don’t know,” I admitted begrudgingly. “Nervous.”

“That’s natural I think.”

“I just … I’ve relied on you for two years. I know that I’ve relearned all the things I need to be an adult again, but I just don’t know.”

“Well, I’m still technically on your case for another two months. You can call me if you need me and I can help.” I gave Mags a look and she continued. “Of course, that two months is also me setting up for my next charge. Going to look after a little boy next time.”

“Care givers are in high demand.”

“Fantasia is a hell of a drug, and a lotta people like you want it.” There was a quiet pause. Mags remained smiling. “You’ve got this Heather.” Mags said seriously.

“Ah it’s still so weird to hear that,” I said blushing.

“You’ll get used to it. It suits you.”

“Thanks I …” I had to take a moment to sniffle. I was starting to cry. “God geez.”

“Take a moment,” Mags said calmly. “I’ll tell Rose you’re changing, and you probably should.”

“Thanks,” I sat down on the barren mattress and mags left. I fell back and did what Mags said and just took a moment. I could overhear Rose from the next room.

“Oh, I need a change too!”

“You can wait,” Mags said sternly. “Help me rearrange this couch.”

“Oh, don’t cut into the play pen space.”

“Ok ok,” Mags said, sighing. I chuckled a little, getting up to actually change my pull up. I reached into my handbag to pull out the one replacement pull-up it held. With a new pull-up I felt refreshed and my crying was over. I stepped out of the room ready to face the world.